


Our Trees

by Ellso



Category: Tegan and Sara (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Romance, Spiritual, quinlove
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2018-06-01 17:35:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 58
Words: 106,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6529525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellso/pseuds/Ellso
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So, i guess i didn't want to scrap this story, so i thought to post and maybe continue it here... with the few edits here and there. TBH i kinda wanted to post stuff where i left off... If anyone is still reading this you can even let me know what you think about that to, or just let me know what you think about the story in general :)</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, i guess i didn't want to scrap this story, so i thought to post and maybe continue it here... with the few edits here and there. TBH i kinda wanted to post stuff where i left off... If anyone is still reading this you can even let me know what you think about that to, or just let me know what you think about the story in general :)

Some few lamented words followed by a muffled growl came from the couch as a reaction to Brett switching the living room windows shades open to let some early morning sun rays in. He didn't say anything, just sat down on his office style chair in a corner of the room where his open laptop and a coffee mug were resting on a slightly small but quite packed wooden table. He was still a bit sleepy as he was locking through his glasses at the screen, checking some e-mails.

Few minutes and some sips of coffee later and he was almost wide awake, different could be said about the other person in the room, who was still pretty much under the blanket. But the prospect of catching more sleep got another slap as some sample music started playing from the laptop. Just when Tegan was seriously considering throwing the pillow over her head in an attempt to block the noise the music stopped.

"What you think? Ryan just sent me this piece." Brett said, with his eyes still on the laptop screen.

"I think... I still want to get more sleep up in here." Tegan voiced in a tired tone from the couch, while turning on the other side.

"Ok another one." Brett ignored his friend's protests as he played another drums and keyboard piece of instrumental.

"This one's pretty good to." he said mostly to himself.

"Can't you like, do this later?" Tegan said in a grumpy voice, almost mumbling from the sleepiness still in her system.

"What? You say you want some Ramstein with that?"

"I think i want to kick your ass." Tegan replied.

"Aww, that's sweet... but you have to get up first."

"What time is it anyway?" Tegan asked in a raspy voice.

"It's almost 7:30."

Even if she didn't want to, Tegan had to get up from bed pretty fast, she had a 9 to 5 at a hip clothing store downtown, she got employed there just a few weeks ago. But she didn't have her own place so she hang and slept around at friends places wherever she could, it didn't bother her to much as she was kinda' used to it. Beside her *fun to be around radiant personality* the fact that she could actually help with the rent was a added bonus.  
Tegan was standing in the bathroom in front of the sink in the clothes she just woke up in, some black sleeveless t-shirt and dark blue sporty shorts, looking at her reflection in the mirror, at her tired features. Her subconscious couldn't help but briefly reflect on her recent time spent in rehab and how apathetic she was feeling there. She got in that program only at her mother and her close friends insistence, because she got to a point where she was living a pretty toxic life. She didn't do alot of heavy drugs, except the occasional coke, but her drinking had really gotten out of hand and it seemed like she was sabotaging her own life. At 27 she was still affected by her rebellious life from just few years ago and from her teens. Back then she was mixing well in the rock and punk crowds, even being a active member in a band for some good 6 years. They didn't plan to get big or get signed to a major record label but they were pretty well known in their music circle. The band was called Spectrals and they were a mix of post-hardcore and indie-rock. Tegan eventually left them after she and the other band members had some misunderstandings and less than a year later the whole band split anyway. But despite this, she remained on amiable grounds with the guys from the band and after the split the ones that remained in Seattle were still hanging out together sometimes. 

After a fast shower Tegan got dressed in her black skinny jeans and denim shirt, then went to the kitchen to make herself some sandwiches which she put on a plate and went to the living room where Brett was still at his laptop to chat a bit with him, before grabbing her leather jacket and the keys to her car and leaving for work.

She arrived at the store as usual with a cup of coffee in her hand which she always grabbed on the way, and as usual she wasn't the first to get there. Two of her co-workers were already there, Ben and Stacy, with only Joshua to arrive after her. He was the youngest of them all, a 21 year-old back kid who was working through college and who Tegan mistakenly thought was gay when she first started working there, probably his fashion sense had alot to do with that. Whenever Joshua happened to talk to her about college stuff she almost felt bad that she didn't go to university herself. Stacy was usually the cashier, she was a smart and beautiful girl, and the type of girl Tegan would hook up with, -if she wasn't straight, and if she didn't already date Ben. She still felt a bit frustrated in her mind whenever she would get to be with them on shifts and catch glimpses of them flirting with each other. But she knew she would eventually get totally over it.  
Tegan's last serious relationship didn't end to good because she kinda got out of it with a broken heart. Some few months after she broke up with the band her girlfriend whom she had been with for almost 4 years broke up with her and moved to LA. After that is when the drinking got worst. But still it wasn't so much out of hand, until a tragic accident that took the lifes of 2 of her best friends a bit over a year ago. They were 2 girls that Tegan knew for years, who were actually a couple, and who used to come to almost all of her band's shows and they were hanging out with them alot. They were part of the scene there in Seattle. One night while driving just a few miles out of town, they got in to a serious car accident and unfortunately none of them survived. Of course this was a very hard blow for a already hurt Tegan and this pain replaced and added to the ache left by her ex girlfriend, and she fastly fell in to a depression state. Thank God her friends, whom many of them knew the girls to and shared her pain were so supportive, and probably stronger than her. 

 

"Hey, so i was thinking, maybe you want to hang out with us tonight, -hit some spots, grab some drinks, -you know... nothing crazy." Ben asked with a tint of humor. Even though he could seem kinda shallow, Tegan thought if she got to know him better she would see that he is probably a sweet guy. Must be something to him more than his looks, since him and Stacy seemed genuinely in love.

"Umm, would have loved to, but i have band practice tonight, so i kinda have to be at that y'know. Maybe some other time." Tegan lied, and she tried to be as discreet as possible.

"Sure, cool, - you wouldn't want to let them down." Ben said with a light smile before heading towards Stacy and putting his arm around her shoulders as his smile got more vivid.

"I guess we'll see you Friday then." Stacy said before they headed towards where Ben's car was parked.

Just as Tegan prepared to go in her own car her phone started ringing. It was Brett.  


"Hey, you hungry? Me and Ryan were just heading towards that CJ diner near Western Ave."

"Yeah, i just had like' a doughnut and a apple today."

"Oh, what kind of apple?" Brett asked sarcastically and Tegan immediately rolled her eyes to that, almost picturing Ryan in the passenger seat smirking.

Tegan lied to Ben about practice tonight, but she was actually in a local band, and they were doing rehearsals since she joined recently and they were preparing to start recording a new album. As in her previous band, she was mainly playing electric guitar and doing some backup vocals here and there. But this band was more tamed and more mature compared to her last.

 

"Hey." she greeted her 2 band mates and friends that were already at the table.

"Yo!" voiced Brett while looking through the menu, with Ryan on the other side of the table lightly lifting a palm in acknowledgement, with the other scrolling through his iPhone.

"How come Carmen is not with you guys?"

"She is at this event /opening thing of some joint apparel indie brands, somewhere in the south part of the city. Some friend of hers that is new in town is displaying her wears there." Ryan said as a waitress came to take their order.

"Watch out, they will probably be competition for your guys store!" Brett added jokingly while lying back on his chair.

"Ha!" Tegan noted sarcastically amused, while Ryan was speaking to the waitress about the order.

After they all decided on their food order and some beers the waitress acknowledged with a smile and left towards the kitchen.

"So yeah, looks like is just us lads." Brett said with his usual light humor.

"I'm a lad!" Tegan added in a young boy's voice with a slight british accent, just goofing around.  
"How come Ted is not here to, is he not a lad?" she then asked.

"He is probably somewhere getting laid." Ryan said bluntly.

The beers and food arrived shortly after, and the small talk got lighter, but not to the point of awkward silence. 

 

"Hey check it out, Carmen is live tweeting pics from the event." Ryan said and almost immediately Tegan and Brett moved to his side of the table so they could all glance in his phone, even though they could just as well use their own smartphones.

"Cool clothes bruh." Brett half-jokingly noted, as they were looking at some pics of some clothes and accessories Carmen snapped there.

"Oh this must be her." Ryan said as he got to a selfie his sister took with a dark haired brunette girl with brown, slight hazel eyes and quite a cute smile, with the tag - _hanging out with my gal Sara, the face of #Brul_.

"She's super cute." Tegan said after they looked at the picture for a few seconds.

"Yeah, she is Canadian, and Carmen told me she is probably on of those bi or pansexual type."

"What does _probably_ mean?" Tegan asked with her curiosity perked.

"Well Carmen told me she's been with guys and girls, just that she wasn't with any guy in a good amount of years. At least that's what she probably told her... I don't know, you can ask her, i didn't even get to actually meet her." Ryan replied.

"Maybe she got sick of the D, eh?" Brett couldn't help himself to joke.

"Dam it Brett, i wanted to order desert." Tegan almost hissed at him, but she was smiling to.

"How old is she anyway?" Tegan asked while taking a sip of her beer.

"She's 30."

"Hmm, i really thought she was younger." Brett said. "Must be the lighting."

"Yeah, cause you had only one beer so far." Ryan noted jokingly and they all shared a laugh.

They kept looking at some few other pics Carmen snapped while finishing the rest of their food and beers.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I try to get this out pretty fast.

The opening was pretty much a success, and it was finally closing time, with some young folks still hanging around the store chatting about.

"Come on, come have a drink with us, we need to celebrate." Lindsey said to her friend who was looking a bit apprehensive.

"And i know you are probably on the fence, but come on, we'll take this chance to show you more around downtown, and it will be just us."

"Well how could i say no." Sara said while smiling at her 2 friends.

"You just can't." Carmen added.

Some celebration was in order, as it was Sara's big night, with her getting to display and sell her merch in a actual store for the first time since she started her small brand online some 4 years ago. The merch consisted mostly of basic stuff, - t-shirts, sweatshirts, blouses, some of them made of conscious recycled cotton, and some accessories like bracelets and few beanies. In this Seattle store she was going to sell them alongside some 2 other small indie apparel brand owners like herself, so they would split the rent. It was a great opening, champagne and all, with her photographer best friend Lindsey helping out alot, her displaying some beautiful pictures she took on the store walls, and she had some connections and knew alot of people in the city.  
Alot of people actually showed up, maybe more than Sara expected and she definitely sold more than enough stuff. Her apparel /clothing brand was already pretty well established online. And besides the clothing thing she was already kinda' locally known and well appreciated for her art, already having few expositions in her home city Vancouver.  
After her mother unfortunately passed away some years ago from cancer and her father moved all the way to Montreal, Sara felt like she kinda needed a new start so she moved to the US just a couple of months ago, and pretty convenient to Seattle since it was so close and she already had good contacts there, like her friend Lindsey. But most importantly there was another secret reason she needed to stick close to home, even if she might not want to.

"Can't wait for you to meet the guys tomorrow, and Tegan." Carmen was telling Sara as they were walking out of the bar they've been in for the past 2 hours. Needless to say they were a bit tipsy.

"Yup, can't wait." Sara replied putting on a casual smile.

"Did i tell you this one had a fling with Tegan?" Carmen then said with a smirk and eyeing Lindsey.

"What, she is hot!" Lindsey immediately noted, almost sounding like she was defending herself. "And this was some years ago anyway."

"Speaking of hot, how come your LA city girl girlfriend didn't come by?" Sara asked her.

"I told you, she is suuper busy right now!" Lindsey replied, sounding a bit drunk.

"It's dat LA life man." Carmen added, almost nodding to herself.

"California livin'." Sara kinda completed her friend's sentence, looking a bit lost in thought as she gently leaned against Carmen's shoulder.

After walking a bit more they finally called it a night as Sara and Lindsey got in to a cab and Carmen took another.

__________

The next morning Tegan was thankful she didn't have to wake up so early again, and that Brett didn't bother her either. After she got up they got prepared to go out for breakfast and meet with the other guys at a diner.  
When they got there Carmen, Ryan and Ted were already sipping on their coffees. They greeted and joined them at the table. It was a sunny Thursday morning and today they were having some practice with their band. The band was called Cast The Sails and it was mostly a indie-experimental-pop suit, with Carmen at vocals, her older brother Ryan at synths and sampler and doing most of the production, and Brett at drums. They needed a new electric guitarist so they luckily got Tegan. Ted was a good friend and kind of a jack of all trades, he played guitar, keyboard and at shows he could also be their trusty sound tech.

"So... where is your friend Sara the designer?" Brett asked.

"She couldn't come, she was tired from last night, and she said she might be down with something, she is like very sensitive to allergies." Carmen explained.

"You guys probably partied hard last night huh." Brett said with a teasing smile.

"She is not that type of girl."  
"She said she will try to make it later today to see us jam." Carmen added.

\---------

Ryan had a house in Shoreline, just in the northern suburbs of the city, that doubled as a makeshift recording studio and practice spot for the band. It was good, to the point that other small local bands would come there to record stuff.

"Cool house." Sara said as she got out of Carmen's car.

"Let's get inside, the guys are probably in the garage practicing."

"Oh, that's why all the cars are outside." Sara noted with a light smile. As they got in they could hear through the walls some muffled electric guitar sounds and some drums coming from the garage.

"That's Tegan and Brett, they get along so good." Carmen said upon hearing the noise start. "Come on, i'll show you some recording equipment this way." she added while directing Sara away from the living room.  
After giving her the tour, they headed for the garage.

"And this is where the magic happens, oh, wait, that's so fucking cliché."

As they got in the keyboard synths and the electric guitar sounds got alot more clear and beautiful. From what Sara could see the garage seemed quite well soundproofed and pretty spacious to. She was actually surprised. After they stopped playing Carmen thought to introduce them.

"Ok, well you already know Ted..."  
Then she continued as she cleared her throat -"In the far corner - the amazing Brett Davis!"  
"That's me." Brett lifted a drum stick in acknowledgement from behind the drums set as Carmen pointed at him. Ryan made some cheering sound with some fast claps and a shout too and Sara could barely contain a chuckle so she had to look down for a moment.

"Our bad-ass guitarist, Tegan Quin!"  
"True story." Tegan promptly added. Then Ryan sarcastically played 3 keyboard notes which made Tegan in turn put her face down as she chuckled, amused and a bit embarrassed.

"And this guy... I don't know this guy." Carmen jokingly said as she looked at her older brother.  
"Hi, i live here." he said trying to sound and look as emotionless as possible.

"You must be Ryan of course." Sara acknowledged with a smile.  
"And i like what you did with the place." she added.

"Thanks!"

"Well you guys seem like a barrel of fun."

"Wait until we give Ted some Red Bull, he will start doing the best skateboard tricks, ever, up in here." Brett said with a grin planted on his face.

"I don't skate." Ted bluntly pointed out, as he was leaning relaxed on the wall with his arms crossed to his chest.

"And he doesn't drink Red Bull either, yet." Brett added.  
\-------

A bit later and they were all in the living room eating some pizza they just ordered, having some beers and chatting about, mostly formal stuff. Sara was telling them about her small apparel business, how she initially started it on facebook and twitter, then made the website, and how her client base steadily started to grow. She finished the arts university in Vancouver with a degree in graphics design, and even before the clothing thing she was doing logo designs and stuff like that on a freelancer website, thing that she still does sometimes nowadays. Even though she was making some good money out of it, she saw it mostly as a hobby, just like her painting.  
As Sara was smiling and chatting along, Tegan who was sitting across from her couldn't help but discreetly and mostly unintentionally stare and check her out, from her black oxfords and blue skinnies to her grey sweater and button up shirt collar and that beautiful face. Thank God the only one who noticed she was doing that was Brett through the corner of his eye.

"Did i mention she can play acoustic guitar pretty good to?" Carmen said.

"Well i used to play alot when i was younger... wanted to be like' a singer-songwriter type... you know." Sara lightly shrugged it off but Tegan kinda found that endearing.

"So... i'm guessing you guys had fun last night after the opening huh?" Tegan asked Sara with a light smile.

"Kinda... well nothing crazy... Lindsey basically talked about you all night."

"Lindsey? Really? Well how do you know _her_?" Tegan then asked quirking a eyebrow a bit intrigued and with a light blush forming on her face.

"Nah, i'm joking, she didn't. But yeah, Lindsey's kinda' my best friend, we know each other from way back in college."

"Hmm." Tegan thought. "I wonder how come she didn't mention you."  
Sara didn't say anything to that.

Lindsey was the only one, other than Sara's dad, that really knew her secret, -well Carmen knew about it to but she didn't entirely understood or believed it.  
\-------

"Ok, take it from the top?" Carmen said while looking back at the guys behind her who were all at their instruments. Brett nodded and gave the signal and they started playing the song again, as they were in the garage, practicing some more, while Sara and Ted were like their 2 man audience. Sara enjoyed staying there and watching and listening to them play, and it was obvious for Tegan to, who sometimes had to catch herself from not eyeing the beautiful brunette for more than a couple of seconds at a time. But she couldn't resist. She kinda found herself intrigued and attracted to her. She almost felt nervous playing in front of her like this. But nevertheless, Sara blissfully gave light applauds at the end of every song.  
\-----

"What's this song called?" Sara asked the guys after they finished playing another, slower going song.

"It's called _Take On You_ " Carmen answered.

Sara put her index finger to her chin thoughtfully, as she voiced "Nice."  
_"Yes -you -are."_ she then said in her head while she took a look at Tegan standing with the guitar over her lower body.

 _"God damn she looks so cute."_ Tegan was also saying in her head almost at that same time, but their eyes didn't meet.

"Ok Tegan you can put that down, i guess we are done for today." Carmen kinda snapped her out of her thoughts.

As Tegan was putting the guitar in its case, Sara unintentionally was checking her ass and her tattooed arms out. Thank God she stopped herself fast, just before Tegan got up and turned.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's nice that i can actually edit stuff so hopefully i edit out most of the initial mistakes. I actually deleted all my saved documents on this, good thing i still have my notes.

Later that night at a eatery downtown, all the people from the band were at a table, just finishing up their dinner and chatting along, after a day of practice. Sara couldn't join them, she had to go check on the new store that just opened yesterday. Carmen was telling them about the prospect that Sara could design and take care of producing some merch for the band that they could display at concerts and shows. Needless to say they all agreed that would be a great idea. They couldn't wait to hang out more with her, especially Tegan.

"So... Is she single?" Tegan discreetly asked.

"Tegan..." Carmen voiced with a smirk, giving her friend a sharp look.

"Whaat? I'm just asking!"

"She's new in town, she basically _just_ moved here."

"Yeah and who better to show her around than Tegan?" Brett said from one corner of the table, half-jokingly. Tegan immediately threw him a look, even though he was kinda' on her side.

"Dude, she's my friend..." Carmen said a bit defeated, looking down at the table.

"She is also a grown woman..." Tegan replied.

\-------

Later on, Tegan was riding in the passenger seat of Brett's car as they were heading home from the eatery.

"You really like her, don't you?" Brett asked as they were driving along, keeping his eyes on the road.

Tegan took a few seconds to think. -"I guess... I mean, she's beautiful, got a good sense of humor, she's obviously smart..."

"I think you should ask her out for a coffee or something."  
"Someone like that won't probably remain single in this town for to long, you know what i mean?" Brett added.

Tegan laid back in her seat and looked to the side window, observing the city lights a bit lost in thought.

__________

It was really late in the night when Sara woke up from her bed in a cold sweat and with throbbing head and chest pain. She went to the bathroom as fast as she could, almost taking a tumble on the way there. She grabbed 2 small bottles of pills from the mirror cabinet, then as if realizing something, she rushingly struggled back with the medicine to her room. Once there she hazardously searched for something in her bedside dresser, as she was struggling more and more to breath clearly. With on hand on her chest she put a asthma inhaler to her mouth and her breathing started to stabilize somewhat. The next step was to take 2 pain killers from a bottle and 1 from the other and wash them down her throat in one go with a glass of water.  
Somewhat still panicked and with strong breathing Sara sat down in her sweaty sleep clothes on the floor next to her bed, shaking and with her knees to her chest, her face really pale and her eyes watering.

Moments later, still in pain, her posture and her expression were looking somehow defeated.  
_"It started again."_

____________

Tegan found herself looking at another lightly amorous interaction between Stacy and Ben in the store as she was casually folding some clothes. Watching that, surprisingly, or not, made her think about Sara. She was quite alot on her mind in the last 24 hours. And she was thinking on how, or if she should ask her out in the very near future. At least she pretty much got over Stacy faster than she could have possibly expected.  
\-----

"Hey so can i drop you off somewhere?" Tegan offered as they left the store at closing time.

"Nah, i'm good." Joshua replied as they were taking a few steps together.

"Alrighty then... have a great weekend." She said with a casual smile.

"Thanks Tegs, you to."

As he was heading off Tegan reminded him. "Hey don't forget to listen to those songs i will send you and tell me what you think alright?"

"Will do." He said without turning around as he continued on his way, holding the shoulder straps of his urban backpack.

"Share them with your college buddies!"

Tegan was feeling a bit giddy, not only cos of the weekend, but mostly because she decided she would call Sara and ask her on some kind of a date. She thought, what better time to try to make a move than on a Friday night. Of course she got her number from Carmen yesterday, after prying it out of her dead hands. Tegan still thought she was being a bit overprotective, but oh well...  
And this time Ben and Stacy didn't ask her to hang out with them, probably they had other plans for the weekend and she couldn't care less.

__________

It was about 5:30 PM. Sara was at home with a cup of tea in front of her, just checking some stuff on her website when her ringing phone got her attention. It was a unknown number.

"Hello, who is this?"

A slightly familiar woman's voice followed. "Hey, sorry to bother you, -it's Tegan... Carmen's friend from the band..." it said, as Sara forgot to breath a few seconds upon hearing the caller's name.

"Hi Tegan, how could i forget that name." She said with a smile forming on her face. "What's up?"

"Umm, nothing much... just got off work, and i was thinking..." Tegan was sounding a bit shy "Maybe you want to see more of this beautiful city, since you are pretty new in town, -i can show you around if you have time... grab some coffee... basically whatever you're up for."

Sara was mainly taken by surprise by this, but she fastly thought about what happened to her this morning, thing that was still on the back of her mind pretty much all day. And she figured Tegan was pretty much asking her out on a date.

"So what you say?" Tegan added after she didn't get any word from her for about several seconds.

"Look, sorry Tegan... that sounds nice, and you are really sweet... but i can't, and i don't really think _this_ would be a good idea."

"Emmm... okay, cool." Sara heard the person from the other side bluntly note. "Sorry you feel that way."

Sara really didn't want to reject Tegan and it hurt her to when she did, but she kinda knew that with this _problem_ she had it wouldn't be to smart or considerate to get involved with someone in a potentially serious relationship, for their sake.

\----------

Tegan couldn't really get Sara's rejection out of her mind as she's been driving around town pointlessly for more than an hour after the call. Different thoughts were popping out her head, looking pointlessly for reasons like: _maybe she didn't think this would be a good idea because she's way to busy with her work? - maybe she didn't think this would be a good idea because her standards are higher than me? - maybe is because despite what Carmen said, she already has somebody? - maybe is... because of Lindsey?_

"What the fuck is wrong with me?" Tegan quietly asked herself as she was driving along. This was just a stupid rejection she thought, from someone she barely knew, no reason to get so worked up about it. But still, she was somehow surprised on how much this was affecting her, considering Sara was a girl she basically just met a day ago.

As Tegan was still driving slowly around downtown that evening, just wasting gas, she passed a bar she knew quite well.

"Fuck it." Tegan said to herself, then she looked for a place to turn the car around.


	4. Chapter 4

"You're sure you don't want to get out of here?"

"Yeah... but thanks for the offer alright?" Tegan said to the pretty brunette with blonde highlights that hang around her at the bar for some good minutes to keep her company. Before leaving with her friend the girl gave Tegan her number.

"Call me, alright?" she said with a playful smile. "See you around."

From the bar Tegan looked at the clock on the wall in front of her -it was almost 9:30 PM. She had staid here more than she wanted. She was feeling kinda dizzy but nothing she couldn't handle, she knew this feeling all to well.

A bit later she decided to finally call it a night, so she grabbed a cab and headed *home*. Strangely enough she was feeling disappointed and content at the same time.

____________

"Morning sunshine!" Brett said as he walked in to the kitchen. "Oh snap! wait, it's 1:30 PM."  
Tegan just gave him a cold look as she was eating from a bowl of cereal.

"What happened to you?" - "And how come your car is not parked outside?" he continued.

"Because it's parked somewhere downtown." Tegan answered without lifting her sight from the bowl. "And i don't want to talk about it." she added in anticipation to what Brett might want to say. She clearly looked like she had a hangover.

After less than a minute of silence Brett voiced -"Were you with Sara last night?"

"Noo... and i said i don't want to talk about it ok?" Tegan said, a bit irritated. But Brett was having none of it.

"Did you call her?" he questioned.  
Tegan sighed defeated. Then she explained how Sara said no.

"Don't worry about it to much, it's her loss." Brett said reassuringly.  
"We should get ready to go out and meet the guys for some lunch. Don't worry, i'm pretty sure she won't be there." - "And if she is, i will throw a glass of expensive wine in her face!" Brett added jokingly. "And then throw like' napkins at her!" he continued still with a serious expression, knowing he managed to cheer his friend up who was barely holding her laugh.

"And after, you have to take me to pick up my car from near that bar." Tegan said.

 

A bit over one hour later, at the diner downtown, the crew were in the middle of lunch and just hanging out. Ryan wasn't there, he had to meet another producer.

"So i was thinking we should go check Sara's stuff out at that new store." Tegan kinda cleared the silence.

"Well i got to go meet Ryan, but i can tell you where it is..." Carmen said as she was working her plate.

"By the way, have you talked to her any more since Thursday?" Tegan asked, trying to sound all casual.

"Actually i did, i called her yesterday morning to go out for a coffee but she told me she was feeling sick... so i decided to drop by her place..."

"The allergies?" Tegan asked suspectingly.

"Yeah, that... And she had a fever."

"Hope she got well fast." Brett said while him and Tegan briefly looked at each other a bit surprised.  
\-------

After lunch Brett, Tegan and Ted drove to the new indie clothing store to look at Sara's clothes and accessories she had in stock. Tegan was actually considering she might find her there, but they didn't, so they stuck around for some few minutes, checking out all the stuff, then they left to grab Tegan's car.  
Later that day Tegan was kinda feeling torn and still thinking about Sara.

____________

Few days later...  
It was Tuesday and the band was trying to squeeze some few hours of practice back at Ryan's house. Carmen let them know Sara was going to come by again.

"Try to behave." She told Tegan as she threw her a sharp look. Carmen didn't know that Tegan called Sara that Friday evening, her friend didn't tell her and Tegan sure as hell didn't.

 

"Hey Tegs, i hope things won't be weird or anything between you and her, or every time she would be around." Brett told Tegan between four eyes, expressing his friendly concern but also implying some concern about Tegan's concentration that would reflect on her playing and automatically on the band.

"Nah, i'm cool." Tegan said confident.  
\-------

"Ok have fun."

"Thanks, and thanks for the ride!" Sara said to her friend that just dropped her off by Ryan's house.

"Hey Sara, you made it!" she was greeted by Carmen as soon as she walked in the house, and her friend immediately offered her a hug which she reciprocated. Ryan was right behind, like kinda waiting in line. When she and Carmen broke the hug Ryan was looking at her with a grin and his arms open.

"Oh, ok...!" Sara said a bit surprised as she gave in to his demand. Then she kinda had to repeat the gesture with everyone since they all were close by and saw it.

"Is this like a thing now?" Brett said with a smile plastered on his face as he formally hugged their guest, careful to lean down as Sara was pretty short and he was the tallest of them all.  
After she fastly hugged Ted to, Sara awkwardly got to Tegan and she stopped in front of her, looking a bit shy in to her eyes. Tegan gave her a shy lopsided smile and initiated the hug, realizing they didn't need to let the others see any possible tension between them. But she also knew that this somehow meant alot more than that. The simple hug felt so good it almost hurt Tegan, but she couldn't show any emotion as Brett's eyes were immediately on her. She needed to shake it off fast.

\-------

Later, after the guys played some few songs and just fiddled with some sounds here and there, they were all back in the living room. Sara even roughly memorized some of the songs and melodic lines.  
Now she was showing them some sketches she made in Adobe Illustrator for some prints that would possibly go on t-shirts for the band's merch.

"Dam, you move fast." Ryan said as they were all delighted with the different models.

"Well this is just the start." Sara replied thankful.

"So Sara, you said you can play guitar?" Tegan asked.

"Well yes... i still have a acoustic guitar at home, though i haven't played it much lately."

"We have a acoustic guitar here that me and Ted play sometimes, and i would love to hear you play something."

"I don't know..." Sara was a bit apprehensive but before she could say anything more Tegan continued.

"Come on, we could go in the recording room, the acoustics there are pretty good."

"I hope you don't intend to record my rusty guitar play, and save it for laughs or something." Sara said somewhat shyly.

"I can't promise anything, but definitely us _big shot musicians_ won't have a laugh on your guitar skills." Tegan noted with a smile.

"Yes, go use the recording room, i will be listening from here." Ryan added.  
\-------

Tegan was quite attentively watching Sara as she was meticulously tuning the guitar a bit.

"Hmm, the guitar actually looks bigger on her than it looks on Tegan." Ted jokingly noted, as he and Brett were in the small room to.

Sara didn't even start to play but Tegan was already feeling a bit fascinated by her, again, -how good she looked standing there in her black light sweater and black skinnies with the guitar on her lap. Then Sara just started strumming some cords to test the sound and feel of the guitar, and it already started to feel like something familiar, but Tegan couldn't really put a finger on it.

"Sounds good, -Ok here we go." Sara said as she shuffled a bit in her seat. Then she was playing a ballad like song that started up slow and got more intense towards the end. At some point when the cord play got more complicated it seemed Sara made a bit of a mistake, but she kept on going.

"That was, actually really good." Brett noted.

"Thanks." Sara replied with a shy formal smile. "I kinda' messed up there towards the end."

"Hardly noticed, and yeah, it was. What song was that?" Tegan asked.

"I think it was _Wild Billy's Circus Story_ by Bruce Springsteen? Right?" Ted said.

"Yeah, it was." Sara lightly nodded in acknowledgement.

"And it was almost the full song to." Ted added.

"Well Bruce is kinda my favorite music artist." Sara noted with a smile.

"And at the start, was that part of a Bruce Springsteen song to?" Tegan asked.

"Umm, yeah, it was _I'm On Fire_ actually."  
Tegan knew it sounded familiar.

"So, you mentioned you wanted to be kind' of a singer /songwriter... you surely must have at least 1 or 2 tunes that are like, your creation. Cause i would love to hear another song, -i mean we, don't you guys? I mean if you're ok with it of course." Tegan said as the guys casually agreed with her. Sara gave it a few seconds of thought...

"Oke."  
"But i'm not going to do any vocals." She said smiling, while tuning the guitar some more.

"Ok... the song is called _Another Door_.

Tegan didn't take her eyes from Sara as she played the song, very observative of the notes, but also of the artist's beautiful features, like her hands and fingers.

"That was so good!" Ted spoke for all of them after Sara strung the last note of the song.

"Yeah." Brett added.

"Aww, thanks guys! I haven't played this in soo long!"

"So, i guess that's why u have those wrist tattoos, -they are _justified_ pretty well though." Tegan noted with a light smile.

Sara was surprised Tegan noticed. "Oh... yeah... and thanks, i guess..."

After a few seconds Tegan said looking at Brett and Ted - "Umm, guys can you leave us alone for one minute? We'll be out there shortly to."

"Cool." Brett bluntly acknowledged and they walked out. Sara gave a sigh after they closed the door, as she suspected what this was probably about.

"Look, can you just hear me out a bit, please?"

Sara put the guitar on a neighboring chair and voiced "Sure, go ahead." without even looking up, as she was still on her chair and Tegan was standing in front of her.

"I know you said you think _us_ wouldn't be a good idea... and i kinda' get that... but i don't see why we shouldn't even give it a try, - You need to please enlighten me if i'm missing something and i will totally back off."

"Tegan... like i said, you're really sweet and all, you really are... But i don't want to get in any relationship right now; and i don't think i could be with you in anything less than that, y'know? I wouldn't want to tease you around. It's just that i want to focus on my projects for the time being, and just on that. I hope you can understand." Sara explained, and hopped she kinda closed her up with that.

"So too busy for love eh?" Tegan asked rhetorically. "And i thought you probably were with someone else." she added with a formal smile.  
But even after this conversation Tegan felt somewhere deep in her mind and in her heart that Sara wasn't fully telling her the truth and that it was something more to this. After a few seconds of awkward silence Tegan voiced -"We should get back to the others."

 

"What? Tegan is alone in there with Sara?" Carmen asked Brett after they told her.

"Hey, relax... let them have a minute." Brett said, and soon after Sara and Tegan came back in to the living room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ok, i hope this kinda makes more sense now. If you have any questions or even criticism you can let me know that to.

Later that night as Brett and Tegan were driving home and just talking about the day...

"Hey, at least she kinda insinuated she could probably see herself in a relationship with me." Tegan said in a semi-ironic tone.

"So what? That doesn't mean anything." her friend who was driving replied.  
"Alot of girls could probably see themselves in a relationship with you, -you need to find one that is not so complicated."

 

Past an hour after they got home and Tegan thought to contact Lindsey on Twitter. She was obviously surprised to see Tegan wanted to meet her the next day to talk, and she unhesitantly agreed, even thought Tegan didn't exactly tell her the reason.

\-------

The next day after finally getting off work Tegan drove to a pretty quiet and reserved coffee shop in West Seattle to meet with Lindsey. She didn't have to wait for her more than 5 minutes. It seemed Lindsey had changed her hair color to dark brown again, since Tegan last saw her, which was quite some time ago. She was wearing a pair of black classic leather boots, her denim jacket hanging over a dark grey t-shirt and her sunglasses hanging over her head.

"Hey Lindsey!" Tegan was the first to greet.

"Heey Tegan!" -"Long time no see."

After they ordered some lattes they started chatting and doing a bit of *catching up*, since they haven't seen each other in months. Lindsey was happy to hear Tegan managed to find and hold a steady job after the whole depression and rehab thing and that things were working out for her in her new band.  
After a little more talking about Lindsey's photography thing and general stuff Tegan got to the point of why she was here.

"So, ummm, what did you tell Sara about me?" she mentioned about Lindsey's best friend out of nowhere.

"Sara!? Oh, so that's what this is about." Lindsey said with a smirk as she laid back on her chair.

"How come she said you're her best friend yet you never mentioned her, ever?"

"I think i mentioned her... probably." Lindsey frowned as she said dismissively.  
"And i didn't tell her anything about you, Carmen just mentioned to her we had a thing, that's it." -"Why, do you want me to help you hook up with her?"

"Well that wouldn't be a bad idea, but it seems miss busy bee doesn't want anything to do with a relationship right now." Tegan said a bit disappointed.

"Oh, well i guess i can't help you there." Lindsey said while taking a sip of her coffee.

"Maybe you can actually. See, i think there is more to that than she says... and since you know her so well i thought maybe you can give me some real insight. - And before you can say anything and get all defensive, i think you owe me that much, after all the shit we've been through, y'know?"

Lindsey gave a deep sigh. "Tegan..."

"Remember it was me that convinced you not to go to that crazy party with Charlotte and Lisa (the 2 girls that died in the car accident) that night? Maybe that saved your life." Tegan said, a bit sad she had to bring that up.

Lindsey sighed again. "Ok look, other than me just Carmen knows about this." she paused. "I don't know how to tell you this, and i don't even expect you will actually believe this... but fuck it, i will start from the beginning, -Sara is affected by a curse."

"Whaat...?" Tegan asked confused, almost letting out a laughter.

"Ok listen carefully" Lindsey then said and she basically started explaining how Sara was actually cursed, although it was hard for anyone to believe. She told how it was all somehow because of Sara's family tree, one the side of her father, who was the grandson of a Chinook indian who against his tribe's tradition and beliefs married a white woman and so he was banished from the tribe and a curse was placed upon his future family line. The implications of the curse demanded that his family line would return to his Chinookan roots by marrying other real Chinookan native-americans by its 3rd generation, so the bloodline wouldn't get lost (thus breaking the curse), or else the descendants would probably suffer a terrible fate. Sara's great-grandfather tribe's life and spiritualism were tied to the great ancient forests of the Pacific North-West, particularly the one in the Vancouver area. They believed they could speak to the old trees there, that they represented their ancestor's spirits. They had a profound connection with the forest.  
Even though with time this connection got somewhat lost even on them, the curse that was placed on Sara's great-grandfather still remained there and the consequences unrelenting. Sara's father knew about the curse from his father and grandfather and what it involved, though he couldn't really bring himself to actually believe in it, and he married a simple canadian girl from Calgary because he loved her, and she loved him, even if his half Chinookan father -who admittedly had gone the same path as him- pleaded with him that the curse was real and that he shouldn't risk the potential consequences of it on his children, if he should have any, by not marrying a Chinook woman and break it. He loved his wife and they had only one child, Sara, -her father still having some vague fear of the so called curse even influencing somehow his decision to only have one child even if his wife wanted more.  
But then, after his wife got diagnosed with a aggressive, and in the end terminal form of cancer, Sara's father started to reflect more on what his father and grandfather said to him and he started taking the curse more seriously, and doing as much research on the matter as he could find, but it wasn't much at all and it was barely any help. All he knew about it was that his children's life, if their blood was not Chinook at all, were tied somehow to the old forests of the Vancouver area. Sara started to have some unexpected and mysterious health problems from time to time, after her mother died when she was just 17, which they and the doctors just associated with post-grief stress from her terrible lost at first, but later on the doctors couldn't really explain their cause at all even after many tests, so they could just dismiss them as pretty minor stuff and prescribe many medication, which didn't really help Sara much. And even to this point the problems persisted, being more or less serious. Her father suspected it all could be because of the curse, as he became even more scared and concerned after his wife died, and started blaming himself.  
Some years later, after Sara finished college and got a bit settled, he decided to move as far away as possible as he could, thinking he would help his daughter if he stayed far away from her, since he started to somehow believe more and more that the curse was manifesting by seeing Sara's unexpected health problems starting to get more serious. He explained to her everything he knew about the curse and its source before moving to Montreal by himself. Sara dug deeper by asking her half chinookan grandfather too about everything. So what she found out and knew by now was that her life and fate were basically somehow bound to the area's ancient forests, that if she went to far away from them she would die pretty fast because her health somehow wouldn't have that, that her health problems were tied to the forest's health and that _that_ could also kill her.  
So this is pretty much what Lindsey explained to a dumbfounded Tegan, who could barely come to grips with all her friend had just told her.

"So now you know ok? Hope you respect and take seriously everything i have told you."

"Hmm." Tegan had no words.

"If you tell anyone else it's on you, i can't stop you. Though i would prefer you don't." -"I did this cause i owe you... but also so you could somehow understand her better, even as weird and fucked up as her situation is, i think it wouldn't hurt her if more people that actually care about her know." Lindsey continued.

"So she doesn't want to be in a serious relationship because she's afraid of what the other person might think about this...?" Tegan asked mostly to herself, while trying to somehow put the pieces together.

"Well, yeah Tegan that's kinda' one of the reasons... combined with the unpredictability of this shit problem, and you can see why she wouldn't want to kinda involve other people with it... i mean, she thinks this could even kill her unexpectedly somehow." Lindsey said with a hurt sigh.  
Needless to say Tegan was still pretty much taken aback.

"Did she like' tell this to anyone of the other people she's been with?" Tegan asked still kinda deep in thought.

"Yeah she did to at least one other girl that she's been with, that i know of."

"And what happened?" Tegan asked curious.

"Well, Sara tried to hide it at first, conceal it as some kind of other health problems, but when she finally came up to her with it, with the curse thing, the girl thought Sara was bullshittin her and that this was kind of her weird way to try to break things up with her... that combined with the fact she almost started to believe Sara was actually crazy and you can imagine how that went." Lindsey explained.

"She must have been so hurt, i can't even imagine..." Tegan voiced.

"Yeah, and this went down like that after about 3 years of being together." -"She had few more other less significant relationships, with guys and girls, but this last one was the most serious one. I feel so sorry for her, y'know?"

"This was her last one?" Tegan questioned. "When did it end?"

"Hmm, about 2 and a half years ago."  
"Look at you, i just told you some freaking paranormal type stuff about her and you're asking about her last relationship." Lindsey added with a casual smile. "Obviously you think you care about her." -"But she is my best friend you know, and if you hurt her you will see my side of her curse."

\-------

Tegan headed to Brett's house that night with her thoughts still wondering. All this thing about Sara and the indian curse, and the forest, seemed too incredible to be true. No wonder Lindsey didn't tell her anything about her, it was so much to actually be told. What Tegan found even more disturbing as she was driving home, was that Sara didn't seem to have any fault in all this, yet she was the one that had to suffer the consequences. And she was kinda' choosing to go alone through this.  
\-----

A bit later at Brett's house, Tegan and him were having some tacos in the living room.

"So you didn't tell me where you've been after work." Brett said casually before taking another mouthful.

"I had to meet someone, to talk some stuff out."

"Oh, so you took my advice to try to find another girl ey?" Brett added a bit jokingly as he was chewing through his food.

"Actually... I thought i should give Sara another shot." Tegan said and Brett stopped for a moment, like something just ruined his appetite.

"I think she was pretty clear..." But Tegan kinda cut him off...

"Yeah, yeah, i know, but i found out she kinda wasn't..."

"How do you mean?" Brett asked and after Tegan didn't answer immediately he added -"You know what? I don't really care. _This is the field in which i grow all my shits - cast thine eyes upon it and verily, thou shalt see that it is barren._ " he said jokingly like he was quoting Shakespeare. Then Tegan lightly punched him in the shoulder as they kept on eating.


	6. Chapter 6

The next day at work...

"I know this probably might sound weird, but do you believe in paranormal superstition stuff?" Tegan was casually chatting with Joshua to kill some time, as the store was pretty empty of customers.

"What like voodoo and werewolves stuff?"

"Something on that line, yeah." Tegan said a bit thoughtful.

"Hmm, i guess... in some manner... don't tell me you're on of those mediums that can talk to ghosts."

Most of the day at work Tegan thought about if she should still try to get involved with Sara, and with the _thing_ she had, if this would be to hard for her to handle, considering she's been through so much shit already recently, hell, she wasn't even sure if all of the story about the curse was real. But hearing all that from Lindsey somehow made her even more fascinated and determined to be with Sara, and in the end she just couldn't give up on that.  
\-------

"So maybe i will see you at the show on Saturday?" Tegan was telling her co-workers as they were all getting off work.

"Yeah Tegs, we'll try to be there ok? Have a nice day off." Ben said.

"Ok thanks, cya guys!" Tegan said to all 3 of them before heading to her car.

She already had in mind before her work program was over to call Carmen so she thought she should call her now.

"Hey buddy. Are you still at the store?" she asked Carmen after phoning her.

"Yeah Tegan, you know the program, i still have like... 30 minutes or so. Why?"

"Great! I was thinking we should meet after you're done and grab some food or something."

"Ok... cool."

"Okay, i will come by the store. Bye!" Tegan said before ending the conversation.

\-------

Later, as they were having some nice salad and some fries at a diner in town just the 2 of them, Tegan thought to tell her that she to knew about Sara's problem. Carmen was surprised and a bit mad to hear that, but she came around pretty fast.

"So, how did you know about this problem of Sara's, and what did you think about it all?" Tegan questioned.

"The same way you did i guess, and at first i thought it was a joke ..." Carmen said. "But i got to witness some of her _episodes_."  
"She told me that doctors couldn't help her anyway, that they never been able to really figure out what the problems were, that she knew this from experience. If it would happen in public she would just blame them on some fake autoimmune disease, allergies, food intoxication, stuff like that." she added.  
"I still don't think i completely believe the curse thing, to be honest."

"Well, i don't blame you." Tegan said.  
"Hmm, i guess that's why she chose the trees logo for her merch line."  
"Look, i didn't tell anyone else about this thing, but i kinda really need to talk to her." Tegan added.

Carmen sighed a bit sad. "You have the day off tomorrow right? She will be visiting me by the store at about 12... you can come then." -"But don't blow anything off with her Tegan or i swear to god...!"

_______

The next day at the music store where Carmen was working, Sara showed up to visit her, just as she said. Tegan observed her as she walked in looking quite elegant in a black button-up shirt and leather jacket, combined with some black and grey leggings and some pretty heavy leather boots.

"Hey! You're here!" Carmen greeted.

"Hey!" Sara waved.

"Look, Tegan is here to." Carmen added as Tegan just came by the employee counter where she was. Sara was a bit surprised.

"Hey." Tegan voiced.

"Oh hey Tegan."

 

As Sara got a bit settled in Carmen was telling her how Tegan just happened to drop by and how she used to work here with her to some time ago.

"That's how we actually became friends, by working here together some few years ago." Carmen was saying.

 

Few minutes later as Sara was looking through the vinyl section Tegan slowly walked next to her.

"The Cure... Nice!" Tegan voiced as Sara was looking at on of their vinyl.  
Sara turned to her with a light smile. 

"I think i will get this." she said.

"Cool." Tegan replied. She couldn't help to notice Sara's perfume scent again as she was standing close to her, which was subtle but quite refined, and it reminded her of the time they hugged.

 _"Why is she looking at me like that? God she's relentless."_ Sara said in her mind.

"So, i know where the logo comes from, but where does the name _Brul_ come from?" Tegan thought to ask.

Sara was somewhat surprised. -"Ha, well... i love Crème Brulee, alot, it's like a french desert... so..."

"Well i'll admit i probably never even heard of that, but it makes sense i guess." Tegan said with a smile, and continued in her mind - _"more than you can think."_

"So... how _do_ you know where the logo comes from?" Sara asked with her brow slightly arched.

"Let's just say is intuition." Tegan noted, as she looked suggestively at her lower left arm's tattoo, which was some kind of a tree growing from a heart. Sara had noticed it before, and the other one with a tree on her other arm.

"You have pretty cool tattoos." Sara voiced a bit shy.

"Thanks." Tegan replied with a smile.

"So, how come you stopped working here? I mean it seems like a nice place, and you had your friend here..." Sara asked as they were just walking through the vinyl counters, stopping from time to time so she can take a look at some prints.

"I got fired, actually." Tegan said with her brows a bit perked and a pretty casual smile.

"Oh..." Sara voiced a bit surprised.

"Yeah... i was going through some rough shit at the time, and let's just say i couldn't keep my attention on the job."

"Hmm..." A few seconds of silence followed as Sara was considering in her mind if she should ask any more questions about that.

"Sara look; i need to tell you something. It's not just cos of intuition that i know where the trees logo comes from."

"What do you mean?" Sara said curious as she turned to Tegan, a bit surprised by her statement.

"I know everything, -Lindsey told me, -and it's okay. Please don't be mad, i basically pushed her to do it."

"You... you know?" Sara voiced a bit scared, as her breathing just went up a gear.

"Yes, and i didn't tell anyone else i swear. Sara it's really okay!" But unsurprisingly Sara was looking quite frozen, she didn't quite know how to react.  
"I don't think you're crazy or anything, and i want to be there for you through whatever, y'know?" Tegan said with conviction while searching in to Sara's eyes.  
Then Sara looked in her eyes a bit lost, still taking in what just happened and what Tegan just said. 

"God dam it Lindsey." she quietly said after ducking her sight away again. 

"Please don't run away." Tegan softly voiced with sad and a bit watery eyes.

"Tegan..." Sara tilted her head down a bit and just looked towards the floor as her side parted hair covered almost all of the left half of her face.

"Don't. I know you probably want to warn me about the potential problems of being involved with you, and how i don't really see them... but Sara i have given them alot of thought and i know they don't faze me."

"I mean it, i have given everything serious thought." Tegan added as Sara's face lifter up again to look in her eyes with a sad expression.  
"You can trust me, okay?" Tegan said as she gently tucked Sara's side hair behind her ear, exposing her left eye better.

"So, what now?" Sara lightly sighed after feeling Tegan's feather-like touch move away from her face.

"Well... I was thinking to ask you out on a date tonight since you kinda blew me off a week ago. I was really hurt you know." Tegan said in a light tone looking at her with some sweet puppy eyes. How could Sara say no.


	7. Chapter 7

Later that evening at Brett house, Tegan was in the bathroom just getting ready for the date, as she was standing in front of the mirror just looking and lightly fiddling at her hair, which was stylishly arranged, with the longer part resting smoothly on the left side of her head. After she was finally happy with it after a few sprays she got out and put on her grey denim jacket with black sleeves. It was all looking good resting over her dark grey t-shirt with a leopard face print, combined with some knee ripped black skinnies and some black sneakers, and she was pretty much set.

"Well look at you... going out on a date?" Brett asked from the couch where he was sitting with his laptop as Tegan walked in to the living room.

"Yup!"

"Does she have a straight friend by any chance?" Brett added with a light smirk.

"I'm going out with Sara actually." Tegan replied with a honest smile.

"Woow! Okay..." Brett said a bit surprised as he lightly touched and adjusted his reading glasses with one hand.

"Well, have fun, -and try not to bring her up here, the place is a bit... messy."

"Ha, don't worry." Tegan said before she grabbed her wallet and her keys and walked out the door.

_______

Sara lived in a apartment somewhere in the east part of the city and Tegan found the address she'd given her pretty fast since she basically knew all of Seattle. As she got in the area and looked for a place to park her car she called Sara.

"Hey, so i'm here, just outside the building."

"Ok, i'll be down in a sec." Sara replied. And Tegan didn't have to wait long before she watched the apartment building's door open and the petite brunette step out. She was wearing a elegant white button-up shirt and small black blazer, with some blue skinnies and some white high tops, that apparently had some cat heads print on them which got more clearer when she got closer. And that familiar perfume was there to Tegan thought, together with the fact that Sara was looking so beautiful. She even noticed that Sara's parted hair was style this time on the right side.

"Hey you." Sara greeted with a warm smile. Tegan was already smiling the whole time she walked to her.

"Hey!" -"So i was thinking to buy you some flowers or other cheesy stuff like that but i was afraid maybe you were allergic...?" Tegan said kinda sheepishly, while lightly scratching the back of her head.

"That _is_ thoughtful, but my allergies are not really that bad..."

As they got to Tegan's silver Chevrolet she politely first opened the passenger side door for Sara. The young artist gave a sweet "Thanks" as she got in.

"You look great by the way." Tegan noted as she was looking at the beautiful woman next to her.

"Thanks! -I would totally lie if i said you don't." Sara replied with her brows a bit perked and a cute smile.

"I couldn't help to notice your cool shoes." Tegan added after she started the engine.

"Oh, thanks! They are basically my own design that i did with this clothing brand Lifetime in Vancouver, if you heard of them, -but yeah, i don't sell footwear, yet."

"Cool! So you obviously like cats... do you have any...?" Tegan said as she was pulling on to a main road.

"Yeah - i have a young Scottish Fold cat, her name is Holiday and i love her to pieces... I got her when she was just a small kitten about a year ago. Whenever i'm gone for to long i usually have my neighbor's teenage daughter check on her and basically baby sit her. I kinda' miss her every time i'm gone, you know..." Sara was telling her, obviously animated and caring.

"Well, i hope you won't miss her to much tonight. Anyway, i can't wait to meet her." Tegan noted with a warm smile.

"I hope you are hungry cause i know a really nice and pretty casual French restaurant downtown, it's called Cafe Campagne, and i think they serve that Crème Brulee there to that you said you love." Tegan said as she was driving along. "Also, funny enough, i remembered Crème Brulee is also the name of a Sonic Youth song." she added smilingly.

"Oh, i like Sonic Youth to, but not so much of a fan that i knew they have a song named like that i guess... And that's really so sweet and thoughtful of you!"

"It's not the Space Needle restaurant, but hey it's pretty close to the thing." Tegan added with her cute signature lopsided smile. "And yeah, i used to listen to alot of stuff like that actually, i don't know why i didn't remember it yesterday."  
Sara couldn't help to smile to, not because of the Space Needle proximity, but because of Tegan.

 

They arrived there at about 7:20 PM and they took a table inside.

"I like this, it's really cozy, and i like this vintage posters all around." Sara noted as they seated, just looking around the place. And the restaurant was about half full at this time.

"Well i'm glad you like it, and i hope you like wine to, cause they got some great wine here, from what i heard... not that i dine here often."

Few minutes in and they ordered some food and some red wine, and after the waiter left with their order Sara thought to open the conversation.  
"So, i guess now that you know my dark secret, i want to know some more about you."

"Ok, -Well, i guess that you already know that i work at a clothing store downtown, and that i don't have my own place and i live at Brett's house for now..."  
"I even lived in my car sometime, that's a fun fact." Tegan added.  
"Umm, i surf sometimes, that's how i met and became friends with Brett... before i even knew Carmen and the other guys."

"Wow you surf? Maybe you can teach me sometime." Sara said with a big smile.

"Sure, whenever you have time." Tegan replied with a smile.

"Let's see... what else... I don't know if Carmen told you this but i've been in another band before, for quite some time. But, yeah, my life is not that interesting..." Tegan added with a cute expression.

"Umm, what about your parents, do they live in Seattle to?"

"No, my parents got divorced when i was 12... My mother moved back to Portland, where i was born, so i still keep in touch with her pretty often. My dad moved to Chicago after the split. He was actually the one that got me in to music in the first place... I visit him there sometimes, - he's doing pretty good... he's working at a local radio station."

"I'm sorry to hear that, i mean, that they split when you were still a child." Sara said looking in to Tegan's eyes.

"Ah it's cool, things happen y'know?" Tegan shrugged it off.  
"What about your father? Do you keep in contact with him, i know he lives all the way in Montreal...?" Tegan asked a bit cautious.

"Umm, yeah. I'm his only child and he wants to keep in touch often, he is like constantly worried about me." Sara voiced a bit sad and this time not making eye contact with the other girl standing across the table.

"Well i can't blame him..." Tegan added, and she felt like she kinda needed to change the subject.

"I'm an only child to. Remember i told you i was going through some rough stuff, that i couldn't even hold my job at the record store? My mom was mostly the main reason why i accepted to get in to this rehab program a few months ago. She even paid for the whole thing... Though i did leave 6 days earlier."

"Why were you in rehab for, if you don't mind me asking?"

"It wasn't cos of drugs, -my drinking just got way out of control because i was depressed and stuff. But i was in this 20 days rehab program in a house with alot of recovering junkies to... Anyway i bailed out after 2 weeks."

Sara wanted to find out more about why Tegan, who seemed such a great girl, was so depressed just some months ago, but she didn't ask more about it, this was their first date and she figure there was no need to talk about painful things from the past. The past hour or so they spent talking about Tegan's band, music and generally got to know each other better.

 

After they finished dinning, including having some Crème Brulee for dessert that Tegan tasted for the first time, they left and since the night was still young Tegan thought to show Sara a bit more around town and take her to a nice place just in the middle of Seattle. They decided to grab some coffee from 34th street to go, before heading by foot to this park that Tegan mentioned.

"This place is called Gas Works park, -i know, it sounds pretty romantic huh?" Tegan said as they entered the small park that was situated on the north shore of lake Union, and right in the middle of the city.  
"It's the former site of a coal gas plant, that was closed somewhere in the 50's i think, -and now it's a cool park!"

"Interesting." Sara noted with a light smile while they were walking around with the paper cups of coffee in their hands. Tegan's left hand was busy with holding Sara's lower back in a guiding fashion but also reflexively to provide some extra warmth in the somewhat cold early May night.  
Sara saw why Tegan brought her here, the view of the city was amazing, and all the lights from the small port and boats combined with the many lights from the different buildings across the lake and the city skyline in the background only amplified the beauty of it all. The time was almost 9 PM and in the park were some few more people, many of them couples.

"Come, let's get up there." Tegan said, and they walked to the top of a small hill like mound, where the panoramic view was even better, while she was holding Sara's hand all the way there. They sat down next to each other on the grass with the coffee in their hands, just admiring the view.

"This is so beautiful. This would be a great picnic place to." Sara voiced.

"A good idea for a next date." Tegan noted with a wide smile, and Sara couldn't help to smile to.

Few minutes passed so fast, and Tegan just thought to ask as she lightly cleared her throat -"So, this _curse _that you have, i understood that it affects only you...?" she said a bit worried about how the other woman would react. "We can so not talk about it if you don't want to."__

____

"Nah, it's ok." Sara said just looking at a passing boat. "Yeah, this curse that was placed initially on my great grandfather, it affects only me. Me and my father looked in to it and there probably aren't any other documented cases of this kind of curse taking effect on other people, though we did find some other cases about indian curses, you know, things that many believe they are just myth... Turns out that some of them are very real."

____

"But you are like' the only member of your family that got affected like this?"

____

"As strange as it may seem -yes. At first i didn't understand why me... but it turns out the _curse_ gets to take effect only on the 3rd generation of the person on which the curse has been placed, if they are not back to Chinook blood by then. My grandfather didn't have any siblings, and my dad has another brother but he was more cautious about the thing i guess and didn't get married or had any children, so i'm the only one of the 3rd generation... so yeah."

____

"And you basically don't have any fault or any way to right things even if you wanted to..." Tegan said a bit lost in thought, but inside she was almost angry. Sara took another sip of her now cold coffee while looking at the city lights in the distance.

____

 

____

"We should get back to the car, is getting pretty chilly out here." Tegan said after a few more minutes. Then she got up first and offered a hand to Sara to help her up from the ground, which she accepted with a shy smile and a gentle "Thanks." Every time Tegan looked at her with her honest sparkling eyes and cute expression or held her hand tonight Sara felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach, and ever vigilant about her feelings for quite some few years she almost hate herself for that.

____


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i saw the other site was back on... but i still kinda want to continue this here. I don't know...  
> Anyway, this chapter is kinda short. Let me know what you think.

"I know i should have parked the car closer." Tegan mentioned as they were walking out of the park. Her hands were tucked in her jacket pockets, and Sara was next to her holding her grey bag that was hanging over her left shoulder. Then Tegan felt a bit surprised in a pleasant way, when Sara put her right hand around her left arm as she slightly leaned herself on her shoulder, head tilted closer to hers as she said -"Nah, is oke really."

 

Sara felt a bit zoned out as they were driving at night through the city, like time was pouring much slower than usual in the quiet of Tegan's car. It has been a pretty eventful day. She somehow wished this car would never stop.  
But alas, in a short time they arrived at her apartment building.

"So, i guess we're here..." Tegan said after she killed the engine.

"Yup." Sara voiced.

"I had a really great time tonight. Thanks, for... everything." She added looking at Tegan with a honest smile after a short silent moment between them.

"Yeah, me to." Tegan said from the driver's seat with a dreamy smile.  
"Let me walk you to the door." she quickly added, then they both got out of the car.

"I hope i will see you tomorrow at our show yeah?" she noted as they were walking to the building's entrance.

"I will try to make it, but i can't promise anything." Sara replied with a light smile.

"Well, here we are." Tegan said as they reached the door. Sara gave her another somewhat shy look as she was standing there with her arms around herself, ready to enter the building. It was pretty chilly outside.

"Again, thanks for a great night and see you, hopefully tomorrow." she voiced with a cute smile just before opening the door.

"Cool... see you there. Good night!" that's all that Tegan could hurriedly squeeze in.

"Good night Tegan." and just like that the door shut close.

Tegan gave out a light sigh. She so wanted to kiss Sara just that past moment, thing that was pretty much on the back of her head the entirety of the date, but she was cautious knowing the 30 year-old was so apprehensive so she didn't want to rush anything. She looked at her phone, it was 10:41 PM, well time flew fast she thought.

____________

"Well speaking of the devil... Tegan said as she saw her friends from work, Stacy and Ben walk in to the venue.

"Hey guys, you made it!" Tegan greeted as she walked to them through the gathering crowd.

"Hi Tegan." Stacy replied as she was holding Ben's arm.  
"Yeah, we made it just in time, we had to grab some food and drinks from the place across the street, good thing the security here was quite a breeze." she continued jovially.

"She was starving." Ben added jokingly.

"Well good thing you did that, cause getting to the bar here could become a bit of a hustle." Tegan said.

"But at least the water is still free here, i hope." Ben noted.

"Okay, so i see you guys have been here before...?"

"Yeah, a couple of times." Stacy added.

"So... Joshua didn't make it?" Ben asked.

"Umm, no. Maybe he will turn up later. It's just 7:15, we will be on at 8. Come, i will introduce you to the rest of the band." Tegan said and they walked towards the stage where all the sound equipment was already in place. Cast The Sails were the first of 2 bands to play at the Neumos venue tonight.  
\------

"There you are. I didn't expect to find you at the bar..." Tegan said smilingly as she put her chin on Sara's left shoulder and her palms on her shoulder's sides.

"I was just grabbing a quick drink." Sara replied with a light smile, almost flinching at the other woman's touch.

"Come, i want you to meet some people." Tegan said as her palms were now resting on top of Sara's shoulders.  
"Don't worry, we will have time to get plenty of drinks after the show." she added as she started to direct Sara through the now pretty numerous crowd.  
Once at the side of the stage Tegan started to introduce to her some of the new faces there.

"This two are some of my colleagues from work -Stacy and Ben..."

"Nice to meet you, -i'm Sara." she said offering her hand with a casual smile.

"This guy here is my old friend and former band mate Tony... I told you i was in another band right?" Tegan noted hurriedly and a bit unsure.

"And she was the only girl in our band." the guy in a red flannel shirt and white t-shirt added. He had his hair almost as long as Sara's, looking like your typical punk-rock guy, with his black shades on and slightly smelling of cigarettes. Tegan introduced her to a few other people, including the drummer from her old band Rob and his girlfriend, after that the band was about ready to go on stage.

 

"So how long have you known Tegan and the band?" Tony asked as the guys were getting set up on stage, now choosing to take his shades off.

"For less than 2 weeks actually. Carmen introduced me to them. -I know her for almost 2 years now..." Sara said, nodding lightly.

"Cool. I don't think i've seen you around before." He upped the volume of his voice slightly as the band started to do some sound-check on the stage next to them.

"Well i just moved here a few months ago." Sara replied with a formal smile.

The location was pretty spacious but still quite intimate, there weren't any seats on the main stage level, but as Sara observed, the room had like a 2nd floor, which Carmen told her was apparently for under 21 crowd... and it also had some lounge balcony with some few tables and a mini bar. But probably the ventilation here was not really its strong point Sara noticed, as the crowd got more numerous that was starting to get apparent.  
\-------

"Thank you! You've all been a great crowd! Don't forget you can get a CD of our last album from our merch table in the corner there. Oh and we will be recording a new album this summer, it will probably be out later this year, so keep your eyes open for that. We've been Cast The Sails, -have a great rest of the night and weekend, -cheers!" Carmen said with one hand on the the mic and the other moving back her slightly sweaty hair, as the band just finished their almost 1 hour set and were leaving the stage.  
They gathered all their gear pretty fast and loaded it in their van that was parked at the back of the venue.

 

"__The lights and monitors were great, the sound setup wasn't the best, as it was to be expected really..." Ryan was just chatting in the small group that gathered at the back door outside the venue.  
Some people were dropping to congratulate them, some were just having a smoke and generally interacting with each other. Tegan was just chilling with Sara somewhere close to the group, close to the wall of the building. She wanted to give the young artist her undivided attention, even since she was pleasantly surprised to see her actually show up at the event.

"It was actually getting pretty hot in there but i noticed you didn't take your jacket off, -that's commitment." Tegan pointed out with a light smile, as she was facing Sara who was leaning with her back on the wall and her arms around her midsection.

"Ah, well, you didn't either and you were the one playing a guitar for like 45 minutes." Sara responded with a playful smirk. They both had black leather jackets on.

"Well that's kind of a image thing, i mean for the band and all, y'know?" Tegan was goofing around.

"Right..." Sara lightly nodded.

Well at least Sara's oversize black top was pretty light, it was so thin that it was almost see-through, especially in the venue under the colored lights, and with the light sweat that formed on her smooth skin during the show Tegan couldn't help to think she was looking pretty enticing. She almost was baffled how someone that was so cute and kinda academic looking can also be so hot.

But it was no doubt who sweated the most that night, their drummer Brett. He walked to Ryan and the rest of the group with his arm hanging around a long hair blonde's shoulders.

"Hey gang, this is Brooke... she's been at our last show to so she's a fan..."

"Hi, you guys were amazing back there!" the blue eyed girl who was about their age, probably a bit younger greeted.

"Anyways, me and Ted are going to go hang out with her and some of her friends for a while." Brett added.

"You two behave, ok?" Ryan said jokingly.

"You know it. Alright, great show tonight, - cya." And just like that Brett and Ted walked with the girls in to the night.

"Chicks dig drummers man." Ryan casually stated the obvious.

"True that." Rob added while his girlfriend looked up at him with a smirk.

"Hey love birds, we're going next door to Moe, we already reserved a table there." Rob then said to Tegan and Sara who were still chatting close to the wall. Tegan didn't say anything, but she felt a bit embarrassed by her friend, and she saw Sara kinda' was to as she tilted her head a bit down shyly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess i wanted to mention that the chapters might be a slight different from the initial ones, at least the earlier ones. Just a bit more polished i guess.

"So Sara, the guys told me that besides the fact that you have pretty much your own small clothing brand, you are also an artist." Larisa, Rob's girlfriend said as they were all standing at a booth in the bar. She was kind' of an artist to as she was a interior designer.

"Oh yeah, i still paint from time to time, now and then. I had some paintings and drawings displayed in a few expositions in Vancouver." Sara replied while taking a sip of her drink. There were some few people around the table: Tegan, Sara, Ryan, Carmen, Rob and Larisa, and Tony, just celebrating after tonight's show. The couple from Tegan's work - Ben and Stacy, remained at the club to see the next band to.

"Sara will also take care of some merch for the band." Ryan chimed in.

 

A hour and a half passed by pretty fast, with the group chatting about all kind of things, sometimes Tony and Rob were telling Sara about happenings from Tegan's youth but nothing to embarrassing.  
By now they all had plenty of drinks, except Ryan who besides one beer didn't have any alcohol, someone had to drive the van home. All in all it's been a pretty good night for Tegan who got to play for the biggest crowd so far with the new band, got to hang out with some of her old friends. And Sara, of course. Now she thought it was time to take her home.

"Again, thanks so much for showing up guys. I'ma go take Sara home now." Tegan said as she held Sara's arm.

"Byee! Nice to know you all." Sara lightly waved with her other hand and a smile planted on her face as they were leaving the booth.  
Sara tilted a bit on the exit door.

"Ha, you are drunk." Tegan said with a discreet chuckle.

"I m not!" The other girl dismissed it with a smile. But Tegan could tell from the redness all over Sara's face that she was actually right. But who was she to poke fun, she was feeling a bit hazy to.

"Come on, let's grab a cab and take you home."

\-----

Tegan paid the cab driver and she walked Sara to the now familiar apartment building door. She took a fast look at her phone, it was 11:17 PM.

"Hey... you want to come up for like' a cup of tea or something?" Sara asked.

"I would love to." Tegan replied unhesitantly. So they walked up one flight of stairs, as Sara lived on the 2nd floor of the building.  
As they got in and turned on the lights a soft _meow_ came from the living room, then another, as a grey cat with folded ears and tail raised came to greet them. She first looked up at Tegan then walked to and around the feet of her owner.

"Oh my god she is adorable!" Tegan voiced in a cute and soft tone.  
"Is she hungry or she's just happy to see you?"

"She's not hungry... i left her plenty of food." Sara pointed out. Then she crouched down next to her in that spot, petting her head and neck.

"I know baby, you missed me." she gently spoke to her pet, as Tegan stood there watching the interaction with a smile planted on her face. The cat lightly meowed again, as now Tegan could hear her purring to.

"She is like -"Who is this intruder in our house!?" Sara said in a playful voice, still looking down at her cat.

"Heey Holiday...! Can i pet her?" Tegan asked as she crouched down next to them to.

"Sure!"

"Nice to meet you Holiday, i'm Tegan." she spoke, softly scratching the cat's neck and back. Then all 3 of them walked in to the living room.

Just as she said, Sara briefly went to the kitchen to brew them some tea, with Holiday following close behind her. Tegan was sitting on the sofa, looking around, taking in the surroundings, observing all the pretty full bookshelves, the pleasant lighting and the overall simple neatness of the place. Is like she somehow almost expected this from the young artist.

"Your place looks really good and neat." she mentioned as Sara walked in with their two mugs of tea.

"Thanks." Sara voiced with a formal smile.

"Careful, it's still pretty hot." she added as she handed Tegan one and took a seat next to her on the couch. "It's Nepal Green Tea, - i didn't ask you about sugar because it is naturally sweet, cause of the Sandalwood..."

"So just like you." Tegan noted with a smile.

"Well i don't know what to say about that..." Sara said as she started to lightly blush. The purring cat jumped on the sofa to, giving a light strafe against Sara's black top, then sat quietly near the couch arm on her owner's side.

"Mm, this is so good." Tegan noted after she took her first sip of the brew.

"I know, right?"

"Just what the doctor ordered." Tegan added, then she took another sip. After, some good seconds of silence settled between them.

"Your old band mates seem nice." Sara voiced and cleared the silence. "To bad your 2 work friends couldn't join us at the bar too." she added. That briefly triggered a thought in Tegan's mind of actually having to look at Stacy and Sara close to each other at the same table.

"Yeah... well they are just 2 of my of work colleagues, - and i wouldn't say we are actually friends yet, since i've only been working at the store for a few weeks now... but it was nice of them to actually show up."

"They seem so cute together." Sara noted.

"I actually had a bit of a crush on Stacy..." Tegan wouldn't normally admit this like that, if it wasn't for the alcohol buzz still dwelling in her system. "Anyway, that faded pretty fast."

Sara, suspecting of what Tegan was referring to, discretely bit her bottom lip as she was looking down at the coffee table in front of her, hopefully the other girl didn't see it. "Well she is really pretty..." she said with a formal smile as she turned her head towards Tegan. But didn't really expect to meet the beautiful brunette's dreamy gaze on her, and she got a bit shy. Tegan lightly lifted her left hand and gently brushed some long strands of hair with the tip of her fingers from Sara's right side of the face and their eyes met again. This time Sara couldn't or didn't want to break contact, is like she was in some kind of a trance as the girl next to her lightly brushed the side of her jaw with the back of her fingers. Then her delicate fingers moved to her chin lenght side hair again, tucking it behind her right ear as her face slightly moved toward hers, eyes travelling fast between her own orbs and her lips. Seemed like for a brief second she stopped mid way, almost like to let Sara's senses catch up and somehow close the distance, which the other girl did breathlessly. Both of them closed their eyes completely as their lips gently made contact, Sara's left hand now moving to Tegan's shoulder and neck. Tegan's other hand that wasn't busy touching Sara's neck and jaw found her place on the brunette's legs. The kiss was sensual but not to intense, it was sweet, amplified by the sweetness of the tea still on their lips. Tegan could even sense the slight taste of whiskey in Sara's light breaths, she was like the ultimate temptation and her biggest weakness right now. But nevertheless it was their first kiss and she had to pull away, even if it was very hard to. When she opened her eyes to look at Sara who was inhaling and exhaling a bit more stronger than before, she saw the 30 year-old was reddening from blushing. Tegan could tell she wanted her alot as well, even from the kiss.

"She is, but she doesn't even come close to you." she then said as a late reply to Sara's last observation, while glaring in her eyes. Like Sara even needed to blush more. Then they got in to another slow and sensual kiss, with Tegan leaning more towards her now. After a few seconds of their lips gracefully playing together Tegan broke the kiss, with her right hand still on Sara's left side of the jaw and her half-closed eyes looking in to the other just as beautiful pair of orbs, to catch their breaths and that she could shift a bit in to a more comfortable position. They quickly resumed the now more passionate kisses that steadily turned in to lustful ones as Sara reflexively put her right hand on the back of Tegan's head and the other on her waist, as the beautiful musician's torso was almost completely turned towards her.  
In the lustful haze of kissing Sara Tegan got brave enough to straddle the somewhat entranced brunette's legs in order to find better positioning as they were standing in the middle of the couch. They were kissing passionately, their tongues managing to find each other often. Tegan smiled in to the kiss, she wanted to savor all of this moment, and with a light pull of Sara's lower lip she backed away slightly, only to move down her neck and top part of her chest, caressing them with light kisses and sucks, the low neck line of Sara's top facilitating this quite nicely. Sara was already feeling hot and wetness in her core as she briefly lifted her face towards the ceiling blissfully with her eyes closed.

"Tegan, bedroom... is that way." she said quietly as she slightly opened her eyes while the other girl was still at it.

"Come here." Tegan voiced with a light, seductive smile after she got up in front of her. Now it was Sara's turn to straddle Tegan, as the young musician firmly picked her up by the thighs, while she put her legs around her body and her arms on her shoulders and around her neck. They were still softly pecking at each other as Tegan carefully manoeuvred around the living room. Good thing the woman in her arms was so light.

"Careful not to trip on the cat." Sara said through a smile while her forehead was almost resting on the other girl's one.

"We wouldn't want that." Tegan returned the smile while drawing a breath. As they reached the bedroom she gently put Sara down on the edge of the bed. She stopped for a moment to observe the new surroundings, the room seemed just as tidy as the rest of the apartment. She didn't have time to focus on that to much though, not at this moment.

"Sit." Sara voiced confident, almost bossy, as she was seductively looking up at Tegan while lightly biting her bottom lip.

\-----

The sneakers laid scattered on the floor, next to the bed from which somewhat light panting and light moans could be heard. Then a thin black t-shirt dropped on the floor to. Tegan was on top of Sara, shirtless too, savoring her almost bare chest and sensual neck with kisses. She didn't go so far as to take off her bra, yet. But as she stopped to catch a breath and look at Sara's face she lifted a eyebrow as the woman underneath her was already a step ahead and unclenched her bra from the back.

"Okay..." Tegan noted as she helped get her own bra out of the way, then she gently unstrapped Sara's black bra, shoulder by shoulder, to expose her beautiful breasts. Sara smiled at the sight in front of her. The side lights were on, which she usually used for reading and drawing, but now they were so ambiental, as they were complimenting Tegan's naked torso shapes, like she was radiating, and all the shades of her beautiful tattoos. She bit her bottom lip again as she touched with her hands and massaged the beautiful woman's perky breasts. Upon feeling her touch Tegan briefly closed her eyes and let out a pleased hum, almost letting it turn in to a light moan, and their hips slowly swayed together as their cores were lightly grinding against each other.  
After a brief moment Tegan put her head back down to find Sara's chest again, and the tips of her hair were almost tickling Sara's soft skin as her breasts were cherished with delicate sucks and kisses. Sara gently moaned as Tegan started to notice the hip pulsations of the other woman against her core were getting more relentless, making her feel and get more and more wet. She wanted to taste her so bad, but she didn't want to make all this end yet. So she moved down Sara's body as slowly as she could, teasing the beautiful woman with yet more kisses, and even some light bites around and bellow her navel area.

"Tegaan...!" Sara voiced her name with a moan. Tegan then briefly threw her gaze up to see Sara's lustful face still with her eyes closed looking like she was sinking her head deeper in to the pillow. Tegan was all about pleasing her tonight. Back to it, she slowly started unbuttoning her black jeans. She watched how Sara's abdomen was heavily yet graciously moving up and down from her strong breathing.  
\-----

She tasted Sara again, after she vividly used her fingers to finally make the beautiful and horny brunette go over the edge. But she didn't even come close to taste all of her.

After Tegan briefly went to the bathroom they both laid in bed on their backs, without saying anything to each other, like there was some kind of silent understanding. They could admire the fullness of the moment and of the silence. It seemed Sara wasn't up for _cuddling_ , but nevertheless Tegan moved closer to her after she peacefully fell asleep first


	10. Chapter 10

_The sounds of seagulls was striking. She was looking at some flying on the greyish sky. Like she was at the beach. Beach? Seagulls? There was another recognizable sound and she quickly realized what as she glared at the tip of the waves coming and retreating and wetting her bare feet. As she looked down at them she saw there was another set of footprints in the sand next to her, that lead forward on the beach.___

\----------

A familiar light _meow_ next to her face woke Sara. It was already morning.

"Hey." she voiced sleepily to her cat who was standing next to the bed looking at her. The next thing she realized was that a hand was lying over her waist. Tegan was still blissfully asleep behind her. As Sara moved to stand up out of bed and put some clothes on she felt a light ache in her head and her core, reminiscent of last night's happenings.

"Ok, let's feed you." she said to the cat after she put her black jeans on and a simple white t-shirt. She took another look at the girl peacefully sleeping in her bed and a smile formed on her face.  
\-------

"I dreamt about you last night." Sara told Tegan as they were having some early morning coffee in her kitchen.

"Really...?"

"I rarely dream... I dreamt that i was on a beach somewhere, following some footprints in the sand, and they were yours. I looked at the ocean waves in to the distance and saw you surfing out there. You told me you surf... Then i stopped to look at a eagle who was flying in the sky above the beach... and when i looked back there was only your board out there, you were gone."  
Tegan looked at her thoughtful.

__________

"So, did you have fun last night with what's her face?" Tegan asked Brett as she recently got back at his place later that day.

"Brooke, her name is Brooke. And she is actually pretty cool, i think you would like her. She is a bartender at a fancy bar downtown, i think is called Elysian or something."

"Bartender huh; i know a few of those..." Tegan said a bit ironically.

"You should have seen Ted last night, he got like' all her friends' numbers." Brett added with a smile.

"I hope you and Brooke didn't do it on the couch." Tegan voiced with a bit of a frown.

"Nah, don't worry. But i think i will be seeing her again soon. What about you, did you have fun with Sara?" he asked with a smirk while wagging his eyebrows. A smile couldn't help to grow on Tegan's face.

\------------

Few days passed. The month of May was almost over and summer was ready to begin, even if the temperature didn't show it.  
Tegan only saw Sara just once since the last Sunday, when a couple of days ago she showed her where she works and then they've gone out for a coffee. She started missing her with each day passing, everything about her. But now she had a chance to see her again this evening. She thought to call her from work.

"Hey Sare. Whatcha doing?" she greeted smiling.

"Hey Tegan. Sare? well that's new. And i'm not up to much... taking care of and looking over some orders, the usual, - you?"

"Well i have like one hour before getting off work... and then i'm heading to Ryan's house. I don't know if Carmen already told you but we just got signed to Barsuk records, so we're having a little celebration at the house. Anyway, i was thinking i should ask you if you want to come hang out."

"Wow! I didn't know, - well congratulations are in order, to all of you!"  
"And sure, i can come." she added with excitement.

"Great! I will come pick you up in like a hour and a half or so..."

\-------

Later on, at Ryan's house in Shoreline, they were all having some beers and champagne and just hanging out.

"Oke is time for me to go, i still have some work to take care of." Brett said as he got up from one of the living room chairs. He was a greek and german translator, his work mostly comprised of translating all kind of books, dictionaries and documents. He came from a greek family line.

"Ok man, see you tomorrow." Ryan said.

 

"So now that you guys are signed, do you already feel any extra pressure?" Sara chimed in, just a few minutes later after Brett left.

"Well not really... we were kinda' prepared for this, and i somewhat know the guys from the label, we rubbed shoulders a few times. The only pressure is the one we put on ourselves." Ryan was explaining.

"Yeah, with the new album and all." Tegan who was standing on the couch next to Sara added.

"I have no doubt it will come out great." Sara said with a cute smile directed towards her. Tegan had her head turned at the small brunette with a smile on her face to, while lightly biting her bottom lip.

 

A bit later, as Ryan was showing Tegan some new sounds he came up with recently in one of the bedrooms where the mixing equipment was, explaining to her how they might integrate them in the upcoming album, Sara was in the backyard with Ted and Carmen, when all of a sudden she started to feel some familiar pain. It started up pretty mild, with some irregular pulsating headaches, but she knew it could probably get worst fast.

"Dam it!" she quietly cursed under her breath, with her back turned to the other two people in the yard. They didn't hear her cos of the noise, as Carmen was just catering to the last batch of some barbecue meat sizzling on the grill, while Ted noticed something was off with their guest.

"Hey Sara are you ok?" he voiced as he got close to her.

"Oh, yeah..." she said a bit startled. "But i think i need to go lay down for a bit just in case."

Ted noticed she was lightly shaking. "Is it the food or the drinks...?" he asked concerned.

"It's probably neither." Sara replied trying to force a smile.

"Ok let's take you inside." he said as he carefully put a hand around her back. Carmen noticed Sara's problem.

"Sara...?" she lightly voiced from next to the hot grill.

"She's not feeling to good, i'm taking her inside." Ted added. By this time Sara's pain was already getting stronger.

"You watch the meat here, it's almost done, -I will take her inside." Carmen said and she quickly helped support some of Sara's weight as she transferred it from Ted to her.

"Is it the...?" she quietly asked the pretty weak young woman as they walked back inside the house.

"Yeah." Sara said in a soft voice, with her face down and her eyes almost closed.  
\-------

It was dark in the old growth forest from the Vancouver area filled with some giant and very old trees, but the night didn't stop some ambitious logging company to cut down some of them, as they fell down under some heavy lights. The forest was in pain as it mourned its lost, and this was resonating somehow in the pain and illness Sara was feeling back in Seattle. The more trees they were cutting down the worst it would get. It was like her blood was reacting to it.

Back at the house Carmen was sitting next to Sara on the living room sofa, as she was trying to soothe her. She kinda knew it was nothing she could actually do to really help her.

"It's okay, just try to focus on your breathing, - this will pass to." she was telling her in a light tone, while she held on hand on her friend's back and with the other rubbing one of her knees.

"It's really rare to happen at this time of the day. God i didn't even think..."

"Hey, i know you have no control over this, don't think about that ok?" Carmen kinda' cut Sara off as she took her hand from the ill woman's knee and grabbed her closest palm, moving it closer to her.

"I don't want the guys to know." Sara voiced with her head still tilted down.

"Ok, we will figure something out." Carmen reassured her while holding her hand, then she placed her other palm on top of it, gently rubbing the area.

They had to figure something sooner than later, as Tegan an Ryan just walked back in to the living room. Tegan almost immediately felt a bit worried as she saw Sara sitting somewhat tense on the couch. Before she could say anything Ryan asked: "Hey, what are you guys doing inside? It's something the matter?" he looked at Sara then at his sister.

"Umm, yeah... Sara is not feeling to good... she's got like some health problems, and apparently something triggered some dizziness, maybe the smoke from the grill." Carmen was scrambling something up as best as she could.

"Huh..." Ryan voiced with a concerned and thoughtful expression while looking at the sick girl next to her.  
"Should we take her to a hospital...?" He didn't really know what to think.

"No, it's ok." Sara quietly voiced.

"I didn't have a chance to tell you about this, but i do have some health problems, and i get like' this episodes from time to time. They are pretty irregular and unpredictable." she added as she was forcing herself to try to explain.

"Episodes? Like what? Do you have like' any medication for it...?" he said with a worried frown.

"Yeah, she took them already. This thing just needs time." Carmen replied for her as she put her left hand back on Sara's back. She was looking pale and breathing a bit heavy and Ryan didn't want to question her any more at this moment, he was just concerned.

"Well if you need anything what so ever, let me know, you can go lay down in my bed if you need."

"Thanks." Sara could hardly let out any word. She was feeling her head throbbing in pain and her heart beating irregularly. Even her sight was a bit hazy as she lightly lifted her head to look at some white dots in front of her. As her sight shifted back in focus she realized it was Tegan's black and white polka button-up, as the brown eyed musician was sitting crouched in front of her, looking at her face with a sad expression. Sara found the strength to show a smile.

"Hey" Tegan whispered as she put a hand on her knee.

"How are you holding up?" she added while looking in her eyes.

"Good... Maybe...?" Sara said in a weak voice.

"Ryan can u go get her a glass of water please?" Carmen asked.  
As he briefly left for the kitchen she said to Tegan: "I think you should take her home. I will have to think of something to explain to Ted and Ryan, i hope they won't ask for many details."

"Ok." Tegan replied. "Did she actually take any medication?" she added.

"Just some painkillers." Carmen said hurriedly. Before they could say anything more Ryan came back in to the living room.

"Hey... i think is better if Tegan takes her home now, she has more necessary medication there." she pointed out.

"You're sure you don't need a doctor? You don't look to good." Ryan asked Sara as he handed her the glass of water.

"Yeah, don't worry." she voiced calm. But inside nothing was calm, as the pain was getting more and more strong.

"Ok, can you walk?" he thought to ask.

Moments later Tegan and Carmen walked Sara to Tegan's car. After they helped her get in to the back seat she told Carmen: "Just tell them i have some congenital heart problems, that they're inherent from family history or something. I will explain more when i have the chance." Her head was aching as she felt like the blood was being drained from her body. The pain medication didn't help much. Tegan could see that to as she drove her home in to the night.

 

As they got in front of the apartment building and got out of the car Sara had to use her asthma inhaler. Tegan noticed she was light headed as they walked to the building door.

"Ok let's see if i can do this. Good thing there is just one flight of stairs." she said, then carefully lifted Sara, cradling her by the legs and back, while the young woman held on to her neck as she cautiously walked them up the stairs. She managed to get to the apartment door without any problem and she put Sara down so she could open the door. As they got in Holiday walked up to them.

"Hey Holiday! Mommy is feeling a bit sick." Tegan greeted the small cat . Holiday walked back in to the living room, like she knew something was up and she was leading the way. Tegan helped Sara get to the couch.

A feeling of helplessness was starting to make its presence more strong in Tegan as she looked at Sara who was obviously still suffering and breathing heavy. She so wished there was something she could do to make the pain go away. All she could do was hold the young artist and soothe her the best she could.

"Do you have any medication that would help at all?"

"Umm, not really. You can grab some pills from my mirror cabinet, the small bottle on the far right..." Sara said through weak breaths.

"Ok. I will grab a blanket to, if you tell me where i can find one." Tegan added as she got up.

 

"What are this?" she asked as she handed Sara the pills and a glass of water after she put the grey blanket around her back and shoulders.

"Just some painkillers." the other girl lightly voiced.

"Has it gotten worst...?"

"I can't really tell." Sara said as she took 2 of the pills.

"Well i will be here until is gone, okay?" Tegan tried to reassure her as she put her right hand over Sara's left, intertwining their fingers.

"You don't have to be here and see me like this, but thanks." the other girl said as she turned her face to her and gave her a barely there smile.

"There is no place i'd rather be than here with you." Tegan noted with a caring, sympathetic expression.

\-----

After they cut several big trees the logging company in Canada finally stopped. They had what they came there for, for now. That Pacific old growth forest was kind of a national natural treasure and so it was somewhat protected so logging companies couldn't log it intensively but nevertheless there were still some selective companies that had contracts there. Now this company's workers and machines laboured on in to the night to load the heavy trees they just cut down unsuspecting there were actually some very real and immediate consequences on at least one human life.  
But together with the ceasing of cutting down the trees Sara's pain started to diminish slowly. By now Tegan let her lay down on the sofa, but she never left her side. And Holiday was there to, huddled up in to her owner.

It was almost 11 PM when Tegan's phone rang, - it was Carmen. She wanted to check up to know how Sara was doing.

"Well i think she is starting to feel somewhat better, the worst has passed it seems." Tegan explained.

"Thank God! I'm sorry the evening had to end up like this, y'know... But good thing she is alright."

"How are you holding up?" she added after a few seconds pause.

"Emm, good." Tegan hesitated a bit cause a trace of the helplessness feeling was still there, and could not really be shaken. "I still feel i don't know what to make of this..."

"Well, you've been told about this, by me, by Lindsey and by Sara, -now you got to see some of it first hand. It's not easy on anyone who knows, -it can't be."

 

"Who was it?" Sara asked with her head sticking out from under the blanket as Tegan walked back in to the living room.

"It was just Carmen, she wanted to check up on you."

"Hm, i thought so." Sara said a bit lost in her head.

Tegan took a seat on the chair next to the sofa and she gently held one of Sara's palms in her hands, while lightly rubbing the top of it.

"So, how are you feeling?" she asked.

"A bit drained, and still some headache, but better." the other girl replied as she looked at the hands holding her own so delicately. Tegan then tilted a bit so she could place some light kisses on Sara's small pale hand. This made the young artist smile.

"Better now?" Tegan asked with a sweet smile while looking in to her eyes.

"I was thinking... if you would go out with me on a 2nd date this Saturday." she then said as she softly rubbed small circles on the back of Sara's palm, as she saw her beautiful smile was more present. Sara looked at her face with an endearing smile. This kinda told here where Tegan's mind set and heart was at.

 

After a few more minutes the young musician helped Sara to her room, she definitely needed the rest.

"Take care ok? And see you Saturday i guess." Tegan said as she held Sara for the last time tonight.

"Yeah... And thanks for being here with me." Sara voiced while looking in to her eyes. Tegan could get lost so easily in those dusky orbs. She held herself back so she just lightly kissed the young artist on the forehead. Sara looked so beautiful and cute even half ill she thought.

"No problem. Get some good rest and call me if there are any more problems okay?"

"Oke." Sara replied a bit shy.

After that Tegan left and Sara fell pretty fast asleep, with her cat next to her.


	11. Chapter 11

The next evening Tegan and Brett were out, having a nice meal at a casual bistro in town. They didn't get to talk much since yesterday.

"Brooke working late tonight?" Tegan asked as she just got there few minutes ago. She figured the blonde would have been there too.

"Yeah, you know how it is." Brett replied as he was lightly scrolling through his phone.

"Well i guess you're stuck just with me huh." Tegan noted.

"Guess so."

"So hey, what's up with Sara? Ted told me she was feeling pretty sick last night. And that you had to take her home." Tegan kinda expected this.

"Yeah, she felt really sick, and i drove her home." Tegan paused and she saw Brett was still waiting for some more information so she continued "She apparently has some heart problems... they are like' congenital, meaning it somehow runs in her family, that's what she told me. This is coupled with other health problems she has, like some other deficiencies or something like that." she was selling it pretty well. But she kinda let it show that she didn't really want to talk much about it.

"Heart problems? But she is so young though."

"Yeah... i know right? Sucks." Tegan added while looking slightly down, somewhere on the table.

"And you knew about this before yesterday?" Brett had to ask.

"Umm, yeah, -she told me." Tegan replied. Truth be told she herself wanted to know more about Sara's actual problem after what happened last night.

"I hope she's taking a treatment for her condition."

"I think she does." Tegan said while working her plate. She wondered what Carmen told the guys, she didn't speak with her since last night. She did speak with Sara this morning on the phone though, she was kinda restless to know how she was doing.  
\----------

The next day was the start of the weekend and Tegan had the whole day off. After she had some coffee with Ted, Brett and Brooke downtown, the next thing she did was go check out a couple of apartments. It was kinda time for her to move from Brett's place anyway. Then she just went shopping for some stuff, buying a new perfume among other things.  
Later on she had to get ready for her 2nd date with Sara.

 

Sara was at home getting ready too. By this point she had quite a non standard day. Besides the clothing business stuff as usual, in the late morning she had to meet with Carmen and Ryan for some brunch and she had to give a good explanation to Ryan about the so called health problems. She had to keep in consideration what her friend Carmen already told him too. Anyway the things she told him about heart problems were at least half true, cause when she was having the episodes caused by the curse, some of them were close to what a heart attack would probably feel like, she thought.  
And the day would continue to flow even more out of the usual norm for her, she thought as she somehow couldn't wait for her date with Tegan. Of course she reminisced on their first date that was just a week ago, but it actually seemed so much since then. On how sweet and considerate Tegan was, how cute and sexy she looked, and how nice were the places she'd taken her to.  
She was looking forward to what the beautiful brunette had in-store for the evening, as she put on a simple, elegant black coat, to mix well with her other black clothing items, simple black t-shirt, all black casual shoes and her black leggings that, as a exception, had some white random shapes on them to. Her wardrobe was pretty casual and her makeup was barely there, she knew she didn't really need it and she was feeling confident while expecting Tegan to arrive at any moment, after she called her some minutes before to give her the heads-up. Then she heard a car horn and she looked out the window to see the now familiar silver Chevrolet parked in front of her building. She quickly grabbed her black oversized wallet/purse and her keys and headed downstairs.  
The last time she had trouble breathing she was with Tegan to, although it was in totally different circumstances than now, when she felt her breath was taken away for a moment when she saw the beautiful girl waiting for her outside the silver car. She couldn't help to eye the young musician from head to toes, who was dressed quite classy in a black light blazer which almost looked velvety, with the sleeves rolled up exposing the beautiful trees tattoos, over some kind of t-shirt with a random black and white geometrical pattern all over, and some dark grey skinnies combined with some black oxfords. Sara immediately thought Tegan was so gorgeous, and that their wardrobes somehow happened to match surprisingly good. Tegan greeted her with a cute smile and Sara almost felt her knees were melting, especially after they gave each other a light kiss on the lips. And Tegan was happy to see that radiating smile, with a beautiful tint of shyness again.

 

"You want me to tell you where we are going?" Tegan asked while she was driving.

"No." Sara bluntly noted with a cute smirk after she gave it just a couple of seconds of thought.

"Good, cause i wasn't going to tell you anyway, kinda want to keep everything a surprise." Tegan added with a light smug on her face while still keeping her eyes on the road.

"I trust you." the woman in the passenger seat replied with the same cute smile. Tegan for a moment felt a bit lost for words, like that small sentence resonated in her more than it should.

\-----

"I hope you like street food. It's not as romantic as a French restaurant per say, but they make some really good tacos and all kinds of good stuff here." Tegan said as she directed Sara towards a food truck with some people already lined in front of it, most of them young night-goers.

"Are you kidding me? I love street food! Even though i didn't get to experience much diversity of it..."

"Ok come, let's get in line fast." Tegan said with a excited smile while grabbing her hand.

As their turn approached she asked Sara a bit jokingly: "Do you trust me enough to let me order for you?"

 

After they had some delightful salmon tacos with alot (surprising for Sara) of fruits flavors, and some nice fries, their next destination was one of the many cocktails bars near the west ferry terminals that made tours to the neighbouring Bainbridge Island and Bremerton, to have some refreshing drinks. And after they had some good and mildly alcoholic cocktails Tegan walked Sara to one of the ferry piers. The young artist already told her she was never on a ferry before, so they both were pretty excited.

"I was wondering when i was going to ride one of this." Sara noted with a formal smile. "But i didn't quite expect it for the first time to be at night and so romantic." she added while they waited to board.

"Well i'm glad it happened exactly this way." Tegan told her before they had a short and sweet kiss. Sara's lips felt and tasted so good that Tegan had to almost immediately come back for another light kiss.

 

From the main deck of the ferry that was peacefully floating along the city and somewhat slowly distancing itself from it, Sara and Tegan were admiring the view with all the city lights, the ever so prominent Space Needle and the giant ferris wheel just in front of them. It was all so surreal.

"This is actually even more amazing than i thought it would be." was one of the few sentences Sara spoke since they got on like 20 minutes ago. Tegan let her take it all in, while the bay night breeze lightly caressed their skin. Few seconds later the young musician instinctively thought to put her hands around the older woman's waist as she stood behind her. Feeling her touch Sara didn't seem tense or surprised at all, instead she leaned her head on the other girl's shoulder and neck while still admiring the city view.

"I had to explain a lie to Ryan today, on why i was sick that night." Sara voiced a bit reflective.

"Hm, i had to explain to Brett and Ted to. Brett can get a bit nosy sometimes, but everything is ok." Tegan noted as she held on to her.

"I hate that i have to lie to people, especially my friends... but i hope you can understand." Sara added a bit sad.

"Yeah. -don't worry." the other girl reassured her while giving her a sensitive kiss on the side of her head.

"But... let's not think about that now." Sara said as she turned to her with a soft, dreamy smile. Tegan gave her a cute lopsided smile in return. _"Let me just focus on how gorgeous you are."_ she said in her head while looking in the eyes the woman she held in her arms. The setting couldn't be better to accentuate the moment and Sara's unique beauty. Her simple, chin length dark hair together with her black attire, contrasting her light, almost pale soft skin, and that beautiful face, and the night around them, - how could Tegan resist not to kiss her lips. Sara didn't want her to resist either as she was the first to do the natural and close the small distance between their faces as their craving lips hesitantly made contact. It was not the first time tonight but it felt really magical. They savored kissing each other there on the deck for as much as they could, as their kisses seemed to get just out of their hands but not quite. Sometimes they would just change location for the sake of moving around and kissing while admiring the beautiful view from different spots.  
\-----

It was a bit past 10 PM when they got off the big ferry in the same place from where they left.

"Look how fast time flies." Tegan noted after looking at her phone.

"Yup." Sara added while she put one arm around her elbow and lightly leaned on her shoulder.

"I forgot to mention, i love your perfume." she then said with a smile, thing that made Tegan's head turn to her and give her a soft peck on the lips.

"Yeah?" she voiced smilingly through another light kiss.

They could probably savor the city night life even more, as it was the weekend, they could stop at some fancy bar or go to a club but Tegan somehow knew, without even asking, that Sara was not that type of girl. It was time, for this beautiful night nevertheless, to end. It was time to take Sara home.

"So... had fun tonight?" Tegan casually asked as they were walking to where she left her car, even though it was pretty clear to her that Sara very much enjoyed their date.

Sara gave her a light nudge while holding on to her right arm with both hands. "You spoil me." she gave Tegan a playful smile.  
_"And hopefully you will be having even more fun tonight"_ she said in her head as they kept walking through the beautiful city.


	12. Chapter 12

_The familiar taste of salt was hitting her senses. It was all kind of a grayness how she got there, just like the sky, but it didn't really matter, -she felt so free. The splashing of the ocean and the sound of seagulls was all around her as she sat straddled on her surfboard facing the beach, which was not far away. Then she instinctively thought to look back as a good size wave was forming behind her and approaching. She started to paddle to get some momentum, but when she jumped on her feet ready to catch the big wave and she glimpsed again at the beach in front of her she saw a small silhouette just standing close to the water's edge that seemed to look at her to. She immediately knew who it was as she voiced: "Sara?" She thought to shout her name but just in that moment the wave that was building behind her hit hard and she abruptly got thrown underwater. She stayed there for a few seconds, surprisingly peaceful as even all the sound in that moment seemed to have been knocked out. Then she snapped back and rapidly got back to the surface next to her floating board. She attentively scanned back the beach with her sight from there to look for Sara and she spotted her, much more far away now, heading towards the forest just off the beach._

_"Sara! Hey wait!" But the small silhouette didn't even stop, like she didn't even hear her._

_"Sara!"_

Tegan woke up in darkness. She wasn't on Brett's couch, she was in a comfortable bed, with some smooth sheets pulled over her. She was breathing heavy cause of the pretty strange dream. The only wetness around was her light sweat and in her boxers. Then she quickly reminded herself where she was and how she ended up there after what had happened just some few hours ago. After she checked if the woman with the back turned to her was sound asleep she shifted a bit and gave her two soft kisses on her naked shoulder, then she to went back to sleep.  
After Tegan took Sara home from their beautiful date last night, the older woman invited her up again. They had some rose wine and what followed was them going back in the bedroom to make sweet love again. But this time Sara wanted to be the pleaser, she assumed the role of the dominant one quite well. It was clear she loved that too. The whole thing was nothing to wild or kinky, but Sara had a fervency and sexual charm to her that Tegan had never quite seen before in any other girl. And it wasn't just the age thing, she thought. The whole experience and Sara's enthusiasm and ardor was uplifting. Tegan, just before she came, and when the beautiful brunette made her climax, felt like a furnace radiating heat from all possible angles and in all directions.

And now it seemed their dreams somehow connected too. But she didn't tell Sara about the dream, and she didn't even quite know why.

 

Later on that Sunday Sara met Tegan again to have some brunch with Brett and his new girlfriend Brooke at a diner downtown. And Brett was right, Tegan did start to like Brooke more after she got to know her a bit better. She was alright. She hit it of with Sara quite well too. Brett couldn't help to smile at their interactions, then again he did smile alot.

"Maybe we will visit that Elysian place where she works at next time." Sara told Tegan with a smile after the 2 of them just left the diner.

"Yeah." Tegan returned the smile then she went in for a delicate peck on her lips. She could still taste the slight tint of coffee on them.

Sara thought to ask as they were just walking along: "About that new apartment thing... You can like' stay at my place, at least until you have your own place, -if you want..." Brett had kinda mentioned about it at the diner, and Tegan vaguely mentioned it to last night on the ferry, but Sara didn't want to actually say anything about it then. Tegan let that thought hang for a few seconds.

"Yeah, cool... i guess i can do that... I won't even have to move all of my stuff in."

"Yup." Sara added with a formal smile. "Although there is plenty of space, -you know there is no problem to me... all the clothes that i sell are usually at the warehouse or at the store so..."

"Ok, then it's settled." Tegan replied with a warm grin. "Brett will be so grateful to you!"

She so wanted to passionately kiss Sara in that moment but she somehow suspected the artist didn't really like to kiss in public all that much, not in the middle of the day at least.

____________

Two days later and Tegan was already moving in, for an undetermined amount of time.

"So Holiday, i guess you have to put up with me for a while, eh." Tegan said to the cat who was curiously watching her drag a 2nd big suitcase in to the living room.

"You must have alot of clothes, if like' half of them are still at Brett's house." Sara who was watching her to noted casually with a light smile.

"Guess so, and i'm so getting my workout on." Tegan replied.

"You almost feel bad there is just one flight of stairs huh." Sara pointed out.

"Almost." Tegan gave a cute smirk. Then she walked to the other girl who was dressed in a simple grey light sweatshirt and some casual dark grey print trousers, and who was looking at her with a endearing expression.

"Come here you." the young musician voiced with a seductive smile and then they softly put their hands on each other as they started gently kissing.

__________

"Well... i'm happy for you." Lindsey told Sara as they were outside in the sun at a table, having some coffee. Her friend was telling her about Tegan temporarily moving in, and how things evolved with her in the last couple of weeks or so, and generally everything that had happened.

"Tegan is actually really a nice girl." she added.

"They will start working on a album soon, and i think all this... is giving me some kind of boost of inspiration to." Sara said with a light smile forming on her face.

"Aaah! You think you're going to start painting again." Lindsey had a teasing smile as she leaned forward on the table.

"Well yeah, maybe. I mean, things are going so good, the business and all..." Sara pointed out trying to seem somewhat nonchalant as she took another sip of her coffee. Lindsey didn't need to question more, she just lightly nodded at her friend, with a smile still stuck on her face. "Yeah... well that's great!"

"So let's say if i will need a location, you can probably help me out right?" Sara asked.

"Sure, you know you can count on me." her friend assured her with a honest smile.

__________

"Hey slacker, whatcha looking at?" Brett sneaked in behind Tegan as she was sitting on his couch looking at a website about the old growth forests from the Vancouver are on her tablet.

"Nothing..." Tegan said dismissively. But Brett already got to catch a glimpse at some picture and some contextual words.

"You're planing a trip to the forests of Canada?" he asked.

"Ah, no. Maybe sometime." Tegan replied.

"Ok... well get your stuff ready, - those waves are not going to wait for us you know." Brett added as he lightly slapped her left shoulder before turning away and going back to packing his surfing equipment. They had plans to go out at a spot known by them near Westport, which was about 1 and a half hours drive from Seattle, to catch some waves, as they already watched the weather forecast and expected the winds today to bring some good heavy swells. Sure, it wasn't the middle of the summer, and the water was about as cold as in the winter, but in general they didn't really care about the temperature. They were used to surfing in winter anyway.

Tegan thought to call Sara.

"Hey, so it seems surfing is a go, we are about ready to head out for Westport right now, it turns out the waves are going to be quite good." she told Sara through the phone with a smile playing on her lips.

"So what you' think? You still want to come with?" she asked a bit excited.

"Hmm, yes! I'm just looking over some orders on my site here, but i'm just about ready to go." Sara replied.

"Ok, nice. We will be on our way to pick you up then. We will be there in about 30 minutes or so. And get some warm clothes ok?"

\-------

As they were driving along in Brett's 4 door pick-up truck with 2 surfboards on top Tegan was telling Sara about the area's Olympic National Park, that also had a evergreen forest dotted with enormous 500 year-old trees. And that there were also some native-american tribes in the area, including a Quinault( _fact_ ) indian reservation located just north of where they were going.

"Just pure name coincidence." Tegan noted, as her surname was Quin. Sara was looking kinda' intrigued at her. "I was born in Portland anyway, and no side of my family has any native-american heritage, unlike..."

"Unlike what?" Brett asked as he was driving along.

"Well, Sara's great grandfather from her father's side was actually native-american, right Sara?" Tegan pointed out.

"Yes, - that's true." the girl from the back seat replied casually.

"Cool! I didn't know." then he addressed Tegan who was on the passenger seat "So i guess that's why you were looking over that website about the Canadian ancient forests, you are trying to learn more about Sara's roots... Get it? Trees, roots?" Brett was joking a bit as usual. But Sara didn't laugh, instead she gave Tegan kind of a curious look.

"Tell her Tegan, that you were reading from a website like that just before we left, at least my joke won't seem half bad." Brett then said with a smile still on his face.

"Yeah, i kinda was." Tegan was caught somewhat off-guard.  
\-----

They finally got to their location, a beach just a few miles south of the small town of Westport, a lowland area with small grassy dunes all over and some woods from a camping park somewhere in the back. They had picked this area because it was more secluded and almost no other people usually came here, most of the surfers preferred to surf closer to Westport. The waves were there, together with two other familiar faces -Rob and his girlfriend Larisa, among the few other people that were there.

"Hey, you finally made it." Rob who was already equipped in a really thick wetsuit greeted them. Sara noticed Larisa was obviously not equipped though, she probably didn't surf either, she thought, -she hoped she was not the only one. Tegan had already told Sara before they got there that she couldn't really attempt to teach her today how to surf, even though she kinda promised her she would, on their first date, -because the water was way to cold now. And Sara definitely didn't mind, she could wait until later in the summer or autumn when the water temperature would be much better.


	13. Chapter 13

"It's a pretty nice swell." Brett said as he and Tegan got equipped in their thick wetsuits and were waxing their surfboards, getting ready to go in the freezing water just shortly after they arrived at the beach. Some few other surfers were already riding the waves, apparently more people knew about the onshore winds today and wanted to take advantage of it.  
Sara kinda took Tegan's advice and was not dressed too light, even though it was the start of June and the air temperature was pretty good, nowhere near the one in the water. She had a black sweater on and a green denim jacket, and some knee ripped blue skinny jeans mixed with some high top sneakers. The pretty strong wind made her hands reach up quite often to move the few strands of side hair from her eyes and face as her top hair was styled up in a pony tail, while she watched together with Larisa Tegan and the guys get in to the water. Larisa's long brown and gold hair was gracefully flowing in the wind, it kinda seemed she fitted right in with this somewhat damp beach surrounding, with her ethnic print cardigan, her scarf and her beat up leather boots. She also had some black sunglasses over her head.

"Look at them go." she voiced as they looked at their friends trying to catch their first waves.

"Yeah, considering how cold the water is i salute their enthusiasm and passion for this." Sara followed. "I don't think i could do it at all, especially not in this cold water." she added.

"Nah... surfing is not that hard to learn even if you don't get in to it when you are young, and if you have like' a good teacher. I mean, even i got the basics pretty much down, and my teacher was mainly that goof-ball." Larisa said, referring obviously to her boyfriend.

"How long have you guys been together?" Sara thought to ask.

"About 3 years now."

Larisa was 26 and Rob was one year younger than Sara, 29, so their age difference was the same as hers and Tegan, and they really seemed so happy together, they made a great couple. Sara thought if her and Tegan could have something at least close to this after 3 years.  
\-------

In the late afternoon as the sun already began it's descent over the now calmer ocean, Tegan and her friends made a beach campfire and they were all 5 standing around it, on the surfboards and on some driftwood piece of log they found lying around. Tegan felt good she didn't bring Sara along just for the ride and to watch them surf, and now they were getting cozy sharing the piece of driftwood in front of the fire. Sara didn't mind standing there on the beach earlier and watching them surf, and she had Larisa to talk to. She particularly enjoyed observing Tegan ride some waves, it all looked so natural and effortless. Tegan was short, about as short as her but she could hold her own pretty good with the guys in the agitated water, probably a lower center of gravity helped her in keeping her balance on the board to, Sara thought.

"Dam it, we already ate almost all the junk food!" Tegan said half-jokingly.

"You already ate a bag of chips on your own just on our way here." Brett pointed out.

"Not true, i shared it with Sara." Tegan noted with a light dismissive smile, almost biting her lower lip.

"You are already her accomplice." Rob said with a grin looking at Sara. She didn't say anything, she was just amused by the conversation.

"Anyway, i will be right back..." Tegan said as she stood up. "-and i need my accomplice with me." she added while eyeing Sara with a cute smile. Then the young artist stood up to and Tegan took her hand as they headed away in the direction of where Brett's 4x4 was parked.

"And bring back some more food, like a rabbit or something!" Brett added as they were heading off.

"You want to show me something?" Sara asked with a soft smile playing on her face.

"Yes, and no. I wanted some alone time with you." Tegan replied, eyeing her with a playful smirk. She walked at the back of the pick-up and pulled down the boot lid.

"One second." she gestured with a lifted index finger, then she went and opened the door to the back seats of the truck to grab something. She came back with a blanket which she laid over the boot lid.

"Let me help you..." she said then she lifted Sara up by her upper thighs to help her get fast on the pulled boot door, - the 4x4 was not that high... for a tall person. Then Tegan fastly pulled her self up next to her.

"Thanks." Sara noted with a smile.

They exchanged only a few more words and before they knew it they started kissing, slowly at first, then they had their hands all over each other, like trying effortlessly and graciously to find a firm resting while they were kissing more intensely. While still kissing, Sara started to trace one of her hands over Tegan's abdomen, then her palm found its way under the surfer girl's black vintage t-shirt to have a better feel of her toned abs. And her hand was moving even upper. One of Tegan's hands was very slowly moving up on Sara's inner thigh but then Sara pulled her hand from under Tegan's t-shirt and stopped it from getting any further.

"Dam it Tegan." she voiced in a almost-whisper through somewhat strong breaths. She knew that if she let her touch the spot then, she couldn't really resist to want and let this go more further than it should. Tegan understood and pulled her hand away, but this didn't stop her from still savoring their passionate kisses, as she lightly bit and pulled at the other girl's bottom lip. Sara's left hand was now on her well defined jaw and on her neck as the low sun bathed them in his late afternoon warmth.

 

Tegan was putting her suede leather jacket back on after she got off the boot door.

"We should probably be heading back to the others huh." she said. Sara was still sitting on the lid kinda admiring her with a cute smile.

"What?" the young musician asked with a smile of her own.

"Nothing." she said with a light smile then she lightly sucked her lips a bit shy. Tegan chivalrously helped her down.

Less than 1 and a half hours later as it was getting dark they all headed home.

\-----

It was almost 9:30 PM when the two got back at Sara's apartment after Brett dropped them there. All of Tegan's surfing gear went back with him at his place.

"I will go make some tea, do you want some?" Sara asked just after they got changed from their slightly sand dusted clothes to some casual ones.

"Sure." Tegan replied from the couch with Holiday standing next to her.

"So, how has you day been?" she then asked the cat while lightly stroking her neck.

As they were drinking their tea standing on the sofa together leaning on each other just watching some random TV show Sara thought to casually ask: "So umm, you said you were checking out a website about the forest that i told you about...? Why was that?"

Tegan thought a bit about what she was going to say before replying. "Yes, i figured is right to learn as much about it as i can... since those forests are apparently so tied to your life..."

"Yes, they are, -but i think you kinda already know all that you need to know..." Sara added.

"But if i understood this right, that forest's well being directly influences your health somehow, so i want to actually know how much is done about that, about deforestation and stuff of that matter." Tegan replied as she turned to face her.

"Tegan..." Sara said not looking in her eyes at first. "You know that you can't do anything about it, so i think that won't actually help anyone much, especially you." she continued as she lifted her sight. "Is not like they are going to stop all deforestation there because of little ol' me and my curse, - even if that would somehow be a believable thing for them, think about it."  
"So can you please not think or dig any more in to that?" Sara added. Tegan wanted to say she couldn't really not think or worry about that forest, but she held those words back, she didn't want to risk to get Sara any more upset about the thing. Instead she gently took one of her hands in to hers, lightly teasing the skin on the back of her palm. "Ok." she softly voiced.

 

Sara seemed she was totally over that conversation as they started just making out not long after, and shortly they turned off the TV as they both headed in to Sara's bedroom. They both felt like they had some unfinished business from earlier today when they were alone at the beach. In bed the beautiful 30 year-old wanted Tegan so bad, and well, Tegan was only happy to comply.

______

In the next days Sara's bedroom and the apartment in general became somewhat less perfectly neat and organised and more towards some kind of organised chaos as Sara started to get more busy with drawing and painting. This was the first time that Tegan actually saw this artistic side of her.

"She doesn't even want to let me see her work in progress, she barely lets me get in to her room now." Tegan was telling Ryan and the rest of the band, as they were at his house. They were getting some more practice down, in less than a week they would start recording their new album.

"Yeah, see she told me about this, that when she works on a painting or artistic piece she doesn't like to share it with anyone until it's finished, that's like her process." Carmen pointed out.

"Yeah, i can totally get that. Just like some talented musicians that like to completely write their songs alone even if they have band mates or producer." Ryan said.

"Yeah or a nosy, manipulative brother that happens to be in the band." Carmen added sarcastically with a fake smile.

In the time Tegan got to spend with Sara lately, since she was living at her place, she didn't witness any other episodes related to her so called curse, but what happened to her that night at Ryan's house was still on the back of her mind.  
As Tegan got home at night after the pretty busy day she was greeted by Sara who had some few small stains of colorful paint on her arms and on her clothes and slightly smelling of acrylic.

"Hey, you're home!" Sara carefully put her hands around her, without fully hugging her. "Careful, i don't want to get paint on you."

"Hey, -missed you." Tegan said as she gently held her and gave a light kiss.

She knew the young artist was again busy with her project and would probably work at it late in her room. Tegan didn't really mind thou.  
As Sara went back to her room Tegan went to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat and something to drink. Opening the fridge she saw a bottle of whiskey in there, which was about one 3rd empty. Since Sara started working on her art thing Tegan noticed the 30 year-old indulged more in drinking liquor, -it probably was a inspiration helping habit or something like that she thought. The young musician couldn't resist to pour herself a glass of the cold drink, mixing it with some ice.

At least the whiskey did help her sleep better as she went a bit later on in to the guest room and fell asleep pretty fast.

 

_She found herself at the edge of the imposing forest. And this time she wasn't dressed in her surfing wetsuit, she was dressed in the same clothes she had on when she was with Sara at the beach. Sara...? She somehow remembered and decided to head straight in to the forest dotted with some pretty big trees to look for her. The sun rays pierced the tall forest and shed some much welcomed light and warmth in to it, as Tegan advanced further, scanning every angle. Then she barely spotted the person who she was almost sure it was Sara, way far with her back turned and heading even deeper in to the old forest._

_"Sara!" Tegan shouted her name but to no effect._

_"Hey, wait up!" By this time she thought to run after her. As she was slaloming through the trees and brush and closing the distance she tripped on a tree root and fell to the ground on the humid leaf litter._

_"Sara wait! Why are you running away?" she was close to crying laying on the ground, as the person she was chasing didn't even give any sign of acknowledging her while continuing on her way, like she was just a illusion of some kind. Just when Tegan was ready to give up she heard a quite familiar voice._

_"It's really nothing you can do. She belongs to the forest."  
When she looked back surprised to see where the voice was coming from she was shocked, - Charlotte and Lisa were standing a bit further away behind her, in a somewhat semi-transparent form and holding hands. They looked beautiful, just like she remembered them. Then, in that moment, she couldn't hold back the tears. She did see them before in dreams after the tragic accident but only as memories, never like this._

_"You - You guys!? Oh my god! What's going on?" she felt like even her voice was fading._

_Then Lisa spoke -"We missed you Tegan. And i'm sure you missed us to. Sorry we don't have time to stay to much and talk..."_

_"I miss you guys every day." Tegan said from her spot from which she didn't move since she got up, with tears in her eyes. In that moment she should have been more shocked and agitated, yet she felt some kind of unexplained peace fall over her._

_"You can chase her in here forever, and you probably will get lost too." Lisa said as a kind of warning. Tegan didn't know quite what to say as she stared at them with slightly open mouth and tears lightly falling down her cheeks._

_"Yet strangely there is another presence here, -we can sense it..." Charlotte voiced a bit intrigued. "Sorry Tegan, we have to leave you now." she added, then they rapidly faded away in to total transparency before Tegan even had a chance to spit our her next words._

_"Wait! I got more questions! Come back! Come back..."_

Then Tegan woke up in the middle of the night breathing hard, with the sheets ruffled all around her. Her eyes were still teary.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will post the next chapter today, maybe... Sry if there are any editing mistakes, as i m a bit drunk :)

The next day Tegan was at her work place, still thinking about the eerie dream. Was it some kind of revelation? What did seeing Lisa and Charlotte mean, and what they meant by saying she might get lost to? And then about the other presence there, in her dream?

"You look like you didn't get much sleep last night." Joshua noted, looking at her. "Wild night?"

"Ummm, no... I just... had a headache." Tegan replied with a formal smile.

"Oh... hope you're ok now."

"O yeah, yeah, i'm fine." Tegan followed dismissively.

"How are things with Sara?" He casually asked as he went about his busyness and started sorting through some clothes.

"Good... Things are going great." Tegan said.

She didn't get to talk with Sara at all in the morning, the young artist was still asleep, and she didn't want to wake her up. Tegan still wasn't decided if she should actually tell her about her dream.

 

Meanwhile Sara was taking a bicycle ride together with her friend Lindsey around town, it was a beautiful sunny day. It was nice that now they lived in the same city and they could hang out more, when Lindsey wasn't in LA or in other cities. Sara couldn't come with her or be in other distant places even if she wanted. They stopped by a park in the south part of town, and they just rested on a bench there.

"So, how is Claire?" Sara asked as they started chatting.

"Oh you know... she's good. The journalism thing is keeping her on her toes." Lindsey replied.

"Haven't seen her in so much time... she's really busy huh." Sara noted.  
"Is kinda hard for me to imagine how you guys make this long distance relationship thing work." she added with a light smile.

"Well... it kinda won't be like that any more..." Lindsey said as she diverted her sight from Sara's face. "I will be moving with her in LA."

"Oh! Well, that's great!" her friend said surprised, trying to hide her initial slight shock and wave of sadness that just hit her.

"Yeah... more opportunities for me to y'know..." Lindsey voiced, she knew what was probably in her best friend's heart at the moment. "But of course i will still visit here as much as i can. This is my town." she added as she tried to lighten the whole thing up. "And you have Tegan now..." then she was smiling as she put a gentle hand around Sara's shoulders.

Truth is Lindsey could and probably would have moved much sooner to LA with her girlfriend, but she wanted to be here for Sara until her friend from Vancouver would fully settle in and see her warm up to the city and make some friends here. And now with Tegan there was actually someone to look after her, someone she trusted. And Sara, even though inside her heart was hurting that her friend was going away, she was genuinely happy for her. In just a couple of days Lindsey would be gone, but she did promise Sara that when it came to it she would come help her with the art gallery.

After Sara got home she was still a bit sad and feeling somewhat empty. Good thing Holiday was always there to put a smile on her face.

"Hey, let's put on some music ok? What you think, any suggestions?" she was telling the cat.

She poured herself another glass of the bottle of whiskey from yesterday as a New Order album was playing pretty loud in the apartment. After some few more minutes she started working at her unfinished painting again. Less than an hour later Tegan got home. This time Sara didn't even come to greet her.

"Hey Holiday. Where is your mommy?" Tegan said as she took off her leather jacket. But she knew that Sara was in her room, by some light noises she heard from there. Odd that she didn't even come out to greet her.

"Hmm, better not disturb her." she said to herself.  
\-----

"Hey, you want to go out and grab something to eat?" Tegan asked through the closed door of Sara's room. Almost 2 hours had passed and Sara still didn't come out from there even once.

"Umm, i don't really feel like it..." her voice was heard from inside. "You can go if you want to."

"Can i come in?" Tegan thought to ask. No reply followed but a few seconds later Sara came and opened the bedroom door.

"Sorry Tegan, but you know how it is..." she said as she stood in the door. Tegan was looking at her and she thought Sara's eyes looked like they did some crying.

"Hey, are you, okay?" she asked her a bit worried.

"Yeah, i'm fine." Sara said with a light smile, trying to act a bit surprised about the question. "Hey if you go out, can you bring me some food to? I'm kinda starving." she added to deflect from Tegan's worry.

"Actually you know what? I will make us some food! Did i tell you i can make a killer mac and cheese?" Tegan pointed out confident.

"No, i think you forgot to mention that." Sara noted with a cheeky smile.

"Well then, -i will make that, -and some ham sandwiches to go with it, cool?"

"Yup, sounds nice." the other girl said then she leaned in to give Tegan a short kiss on the lips as she was still standing in the door.

 

Tegan's intuition was right. Sara did shed some tears earlier, not because her best friend was moving to another city as much as because this reminded her yet again about how restricted she actually was, how she couldn't go to far from this area, from the forest.  
\-----

"Have you ever been to LA?" Sara randomly asked as they were eating the mac and cheese Tegan made on the living room sofa.

"Yes, just one time. Why?" Tegan said as she was chewing her food.

"Lindsey is moving there in a couple of days, to live with her girlfriend."

"Oh, is she. You know, my last girlfriend moved to LA. Well technically Lindsey was my girlfriend also..." Tegan was probably saying more than she should.

"And i can't even go to visit her there." Sara added a bit lost in thought.

"Why? Oh..." Tegan remembered fast.

"So what happens if you go to far away?" she asked discreetly.

"Same thing that happens when they cut down the trees i guess, the further i go the worst it gets for me." Sara replied a bit sad. "It's like some invisible threshold that i need to pass for it to start to take effect first, and then gradually get worst."

"Do you know where is this _threshold_ , or like' what is the distance?" Tegan asked.

"It's probably like 300 miles or less range distance from the city of Vancouver. I never tried it on the ocean though. But the forest is closer to the ocean." Sara said.

"Hmmm... You couldn't even make it to Portland." Tegan noted.

"Well i could, but i couldn't stay much."

"You know, i would say this might sound weird but i will just say it, since weird is probably a part of your life anyway... I've been having some dreams lately... some strange dreams, -that i was going after you through this forest. And it was more than that, i don't know..." Tegan was gathering her thoughts as Sara was looking somewhat intrigued at her. "You remember that you told me about that dream you had after the first time we made love? This dreams of mine seem to connect with that setting somehow."

"Maybe by telling you about it that morning triggered somehow your subconscious to reflect it and mould it in to your own dreams." Sara said thoughtful. "Things like that can happen, you know...?"

"Last night i had the most vivid one yet." it was even hard on Tegan to recall it, but she did anyway. "I saw my two friends that i told you they died in that car accident like 18 months ago... and it was like they were trying to tell me something, about you." Sara noticed the edges of Tegan's eyes were already starting to gather some water. But Tegan managed to hold the tears back as she continued explaining. "They were talking to me but they didn't manage to tell me much, just something about that i couldn't catch you or help you in that forest... that you somehow belonged there. I remember that quite clearly."

"Oh Tegan..." Sara voiced looking at her with a sad sympathetic expression. "I don't know what to say. I'm not going anywhere okay? I'm here and i'm not running away."

"I hope it was nothing. Please don't get yourself to worked-up about it ok?" she added in a soothing tone. She didn't show it but it pained Sara to see how all this somehow started to affect Tegan. She couldn't quite say that she didn't expect this, for the ones that were really close to her and knew about her problem to suffer to, but with Tegan she didn't expect it to happen this fast or like this.

 

Tonight Sara didn't work late again on her painting and drawings, instead she went to bed with Tegan in the guest room. They didn't really need to make love, they just needed to feel like they had each other.

"I'm sorry if i've been neglecting you lately." Sara said as she put a hand on the side of Tegan's jaw, as they were lying in bed facing each other. Tegan's beautiful eyes were looking straight in to hers.

"Nah, -it's ok, i can understand." the other girl softly voiced. Then she smiled at Sara so dreamy, and Sara couldn't help to smile back.  
Sometimes it seemed unbelievable how adorable and gorgeous the 27 year old actually was. Sara grew to know that she was like this on the inside to. Then, maybe somewhat carried away, Tegan said something really deep: "I never want to lose you." Sara's heart almost started crying, of happiness, but in no lesser amount of sadness at the same time. The beautiful brunette got closer and gave her a delicate kiss on the forehead, then another slow and gentle one on the lips. Inside Sara was fighting hard to not show any actual tears.

\-------

"Oh the timing is just..." Sara whispered under her breath, not to wake Tegan who was sleeping next to her, as she got up from bed. It was early morning. The familiar pain and discomfort was making itself felt again. After the conversation they had last night this was definitely not a good time for this to kick in she though. First thing she did after she got out of bed was to head to the bathroom, anywhere away from Tegan.

"Maybe it's nothing. Maybe it's just a short one. Oh God i hope is just a short one." Sara was saying to herself distressed, as she stood with her back leaning on the cold wall of the bathroom. Few moments later she had to take some pain killers, then she thought to go to her room and locked the door.

Tegan sleepily moaned as she lightly palmed the side of the bed where Sara should have been, her eyes were still closed as she was still in a half-asleep state. Feeling the other woman was not there, she slightly opened her eyes to have a look.


	15. Chapter 15

More than 30 minutes had passed since Tegan first opened her eyes that morning to find herself in a empty bed, and since then she couldn't quite fall back asleep. In all those minutes she still expected Sara to come back in bed with her at any point, but as more time passed her hope for that kinda faded. It would have been so nice to wake up with Sara next to her again, to just feel her there and maybe watch her peacefully breath in her sleep, to have the chance to find that angelic face as the first thing she saw when she woke up in the morning light. But now Sara was probably already back in her room, working on a painting or something, she thought. But she also thought that would be pretty strange so early in the morning, considering she got somewhat used to the 30 year-old to wake up after her. Then again, she still didn't know the intriguing young woman that good.  
Since she still couldn't seem to fall back to sleep Tegan decided to get out of bed. She wanted to go make herself a cup of coffee, and as she dragged her feet to the kitchen she couldn't help to stop by Sara's bedroom door to listen for any sound that would somewhat tell if Sara was in there working. She didn't really hear anything, so she thought to lightly knock on the door.

"Hey Sara, are you in there? I saw that you didn't make yourself any coffee... do you want me to make some for you to?"  
Sara was lying on her bed slumped in the fetal position , just trying to weather out this headaches and chest pain. Damn, Tegan was up already. She answered kinda hurriedly and in a weak voice, even if she wanted it to sound as normal as possible.  
"Emm, no, thanks, i will make some later."

Odd. Tegan thought. She knew by now that Sara was one of those kind of people that loved their coffee and drank it routinely at the start of the day before doing anything.

"Okay..." Tegan trailed off.

As she was in the kitchen brewing her coffee she started thinking that maybe something wasn't right with Sara. Was she trying to avoid her? Was it maybe something she said last night? Who knows. Maybe this was just another way the young artist behaved in some mornings. But Tegan kinda felt she had to be sure everything was ok.

So here she was, back again in front of Sara's door.

"Sara... is everything alright?" she asked a bit reluctant.

"Yes. I'm just working in here..." she heard her reply after a few seconds, but something was off, about her voice to.

"Hmm, is not like you not to have your morning cup of coffee. Are you sure everything is alright?"

"Yeah Tegan don't worry, all is good." Sara's somewhat tired voice said. Tegan paused for a moment to think. She didn't want to step any line and seem to insistent, but definitely all wasn't good. Without saying anything else she decided to go about her day, check her social media pages and maybe watch some early morning TV, since she had the day off and there was mostly nothing to do at this time.

Almost an hour passed. Sara still didn't come out from her room. At this point Tegan was really worried and a bit frustrated. It was 10:15 AM, and she thought she should try to coax Sara out.

"Hey Sare, -I was thinking we should go out for some breakfast, maybe meet with Ted, or Brett... or just us." she said as she was back next to the bedroom door. She paused a few seconds to wait for any reaction from Sara. "Can you at least come out of there?"

"I, I'm sorry, i can't go. I have to meet with Lindsey a bit later. I said i will come by her place to help her pack."

"But you probably haven't eaten anything, -you didn't even drink your coffee. Sara are you feeling sick?"  
On the other side of the door Sara was still feeling really ill, and now tears were falling from her eyes on to the white sheets, because she felt bad she had to lie to Tegan, and she wondered how much more she could actually keep this up, -if Tegan didn't catch up that something was wrong already, -which she probably did.

"Tegan i'm fine." she managed to finally voice, even though she somehow knew that probably didn't hold any conviction.

"Then why are we talking through a closed door?" Tegan continued.

Sara had to find some strength to get up from her bed as she decided to let Tegan see her. Now there was no point in avoiding this. As she opened the bedroom door her girlfriend was right there and saw her weakened state as she looked at her worried.

"Oh my god, Sara...! Are you ok?"

"I'm so sorry Tegan..." was the first thing she said as the dizziness from standing up after more than 2 hours of lying in bed broken started to catch up with her. The young musician noticed and helped her walk the few steps to the living room sofa.

"It's that thing again?" Tegan asked almost rhetorically as she sat next to Sara, she was obviously concerned. "Dam it Sara why did you try to hide from me?" She lightly voiced after the other girl gave a discreet nod. She also noticed that Sara had some tears in her eyes.

After about half-and-hour Sara fell asleep in Tegan's arms, she was obviously exhausted. At least Tegan could be somewhat happy that her pain passed, as she carried her to the guest room bed, careful not to wake her up.

As she watched her girlfriend peacefully sleep she contemplated if she should just stay home and be there when she wakes up, but she decided against it. She just hoped Sara would wake up feeling ok.

Tegan got dressed and went out to grab some late breakfast, but not before leaving a note next to the bed to let Sara know where she went and that she should call her if anything was up. As much as she herself would feel the urge to call and check on her she thought that it would be better to not risk waking her up.

After she had some breakfast alone at a coffee shop she went to visit Carmen at the store.

\-------

"Well Tee, this is kinda what you signed up for, y'know?" Carmen was telling her as the both of them were standing and talking at the counter in the music store where Carmen was working at.

"Ok, here is your change... enjoy, and have a nice day!" she then said with a smile to a customer who just bought 4 vinyl.

"Yeah but she gets me even more worried by trying to hide from me like this." Tegan said a bit sad.

"Don't take it the wrong way, -she just probably doesn't want you to see her like this. It's not like there is much you can do anyway." Carmen voiced that last phrase somewhat reluctant. "I mean, what would you do? Take her to a hospital?" she added. Tegan was feeling pretty helpless and somewhat lost for words.

"She probably had more than her fair share of that. Some doctors would probably just want to use her as some kind of test subject anyway, since they can't seem to figure out what's wrong with her." Carmen noted.

"I don't know... I just want to be there for her, and do whatever i can..." Tegan said with her head a bit tilted and sight directed down.

"I know Tee, i know."

"Hey, we will start recording for the album in just a few days, - don't let this affect you to much, and your concentration, ok?"

\-------

A bit later that day, as Tegan got back at the apartment she didn't find anyone there but the cat. As she went in the guest room she found another note next to the one she left on the bedside dresser, that said: _"I'm just off to the warehouse, and then i will be dropping by Lindsey's place to help her out, as i said. So don't wait up for me."_

"She could at least call..." Tegan sighed and said to herself somewhat sad.


	16. Chapter 16

A bit later on that day, and Tegan was already starting to get bored alone in the apartment. If it was up to her she would have loved to spend this free day mostly with Sara. Instead the young artist was probably at Lindsey's place now, helping her with packing stuff. She wondered for a moment why Lindsey didn't invite her to come too, Sara must have mentioned to her friend she had the whole day off, right? Yeah, she couldn't say that her and Lindsey were quite that close of friends, they use to hang around the same circles, and they dated a few months many years ago, but still, she could have came with Sara and lend a hand too.  
As she was giving a serious thought to the idea of just taking a mid-day nap, Tegan remembered the acoustic guitar Sara just had lying around somewhere in the guest room, and decided to give it a try. She grabbed the instrument case that was resting near the wall in a corner of the room and took out the small black Art & Lutherie guitar. She just started to strum some chords as Holiday walked in to the room.

"What? I'm sure she wouldn't mind." Tegan said to the curious but laid back temper cat.

After she tediously tried to scramble some melodic lines that she never quite played before, while putting a bit of her soul in to it, she eventually put the guitar back in its place after about 25 minutes. She decided to call Sara.

"Hey Sare."

"Hi Tegan." the sweet voice that she's been missing replied.

"Umm, how are you feeling?" Tegan asked.

"I'm good, thanks for asking. Sorry i didn't call you earlier."

"Oh, don't worry... So, where are you? Are you at Lindsey's?" Tegan said casually.

"Yup. She says hi." Sara said with what Tegan could imagine was a playful tint.

"How are things going up there?"

"Umm, good. The sorting and packing is moving along just fine."

"Cool! Don't do any heavy lifting or anything like that, cause, you know why."

"Nah, nothing like that... Hmm, Lindsey said you should come by with me tomorrow, to help get the final stuff done... she sayz she can't wait." Sara added in a jovial voice.

"Really... Well sure i will come, after i get out from work." Tegan said with a smile on her face.

After Sara told her she would be back home probably in a couple of hours Tegan decided to go out for a drive and shop for some food and some fruits along the way. First she thought to stop by Linconl Park, which was located in the south-west part of the city, by the bay, since it seemed she was feeling pretty reflective. Actually that's how she felt pretty much all day.

When she lived at Brett's place she was closer to this park which she loved, and used to come here at least once a week. She loved its beach front areas and watching the ferries from there, and all the serene hiking paths. It was just what she needed now, some clarity.

 

It was a bit past 5:30 PM when she got back at the apartment. After she fed Holiday she just hang around the living room with her, waiting patiently for Sara. In less than half-an-hour the young artist got home.  
They greeted each other and Sara was saying how she had a pretty busy day and that she had to stop by her clothing store too after she left Lindsey's apartment.

"I bought some groceries." Tegan mentioned with a smile. Sara was happy to hear.  
Of course Tegan wanted to know how Sara was feeling after what she went through this morning, and if everything was good.

"--Sorry i didn't stay with you until you woke up, earlier today. I think i should have stayed to make sure, y'know... Or that i didn't check on you earlier. I hope you didn't mind." she said while they were in the kitchen.

"No Tegan. I think i should be the one to apologize to you." Sara who was standing in front of her said, not being able to look her in the eyes. "I don't know why i didn't call _you_... Maybe, i guess, i was kinda ashamed to talk to you because, i thought you were kinda mad at me..."

Tegan's expression turned somewhat sad, but it was cute nevertheless. "Mad at you? Sare i can't be mad at you." she said in a soft tone. Sara was still looking down a bit ashamed.

"Yes you got me worried and a bit confused, but, i... i can't blame you. I don't know, -maybe i care to much." Tegan added with a lightly thoughtful expression.

"Anyway, -I'm sorry, for the way i acted, and for lying to you." Sara noted apologetic, a bit sad. But she did manage to lift her sight and look at Tegan.

"It's oke." Tegan softly voiced. Then without saying anything more she closed the small distance between them and put one hand on Sara's cheek, while their faces were so close to each other that their foreheads were touching, as if almost resting on each other. "It takes more than that to actually faze me." she lightly added. Her lips delicately connected with Sara's as they gave each other a slow, tender kiss, that they both so craved for. The kiss felt so good and sweet, that it somehow almost hurt.

"I didn't even notice how you got me to the bedroom, - I guess i was really out of it huh?" Sara then said with a light smile playing on her lips. "I hope you didn't peek at my unfinished drawings and painting while i was carelessly sleeping." she added on the same tone.

"Hmm, it did cross my mind... but i didn't, don't worry." Tegan replied with a cute smirk.

"I was thinking; i might need like' a bigger place to do some other, maybe bigger paintings at, -maybe even in oil... maybe like a barn or something." Sara pointed out, a bit jokingly about the last part.

"Ha! - a barn, -funny. I'm sure that we can find like' an old bomb bunker or something, -much better." Tegan said sarcastically.

"Real funny Tegan." Sara voiced with a adorable smug on her face.

"No but seriously, -we can probably find like' a cheap workshop or studio type space in this town that you can rent." Tegan noted.

"I will be on that starting from tomorrow, ok?" she added.

"Hmm, oke. I will be looking too. You're the best." Sara said with a smile, and Tegan leaned in to grab a short kiss from her smiling lips.

"So, I don't know what you ate at Lindsey's or whatever, but i want to cook for us tonight, again. Since you were so impressed with my cooking last night." Tegan then said with a confident expression.

"Really...?" Sara acknowledged a bit surprised and with a cute teasing smile.

"Yeah... Ok so i guess is settled then. I have been chilling around pretty much all day anyway. I will make, my famous, -potatoes with turkey breast and lots of other healthy vegetables casserole dish thing!"

"That's a pretty long name but i must say sounds delicious." Sara noted. "You are full of surprises."

Lindsey didn't really mention how amazing Tegan was, Sara kinda thought. Or maybe she was acting this way out of pity for her? Anyway, no real point of bothering herself with that thought now.

\-----

After a warm and filling home made dinner, which was actually really well made and tasty, and some red wine, they were all feeling good. Sara in general didn't really like to cook, and she already told Tegan this to some days ago, be it a bit embarrassed. The closest Tegan ever got to working in a professional kitchen was having a job at a fast food joint, like many other young folks, many years ago. But she did learn some cooking from spending some time in the kitchen with her mother.  
The two were cozy next to each other on the couch, just catching up on some TV series episodes. They were really feeling like a real couple. And Tegan, at least for now, had somewhat forgotten all of her worries and insecurities about Sara.

"So, will it be that much of a distraction if i, let's say, drop now and then by the house when you guys will start making the album?" Sara asked looking at the 27 year old a bit teasingly.

"Hmm, i wouldn't say..." Tegan noted trying to act all serious.

"I'm like' really interested to witness the creative process y'know? It's something really cool, for me." Sara added.

"Yeah? Cause i thought you mostly wanted to see me." Tegan said with a light smug, while her eyes were looking playfully at Sara. This made the young artist smile even more and she immediately got closer to put her lips on hers, taking Tegan a bit by surprise. But she couldn't mind at all, as she leaned in more in to the savory kiss, closing her eyes for just a couple of seconds before Sara pulled away.

"Getting to see you would actually be a big incentive." Sara softly voiced with a smile playing on her sweet lips.  
Tegan couldn't help but to stare at her with a light smirk. "Yeah?"  
Then Sara got up and she slowly started unbuttoning the top part of her light blue shirt, as Tegan's smirk turned in to a wide smile, then in to lightly biting and sucking on her bottom lip while still keeping her eyes firmly on her from the couch. She already knew Sara didn't have a bra underneath that.

"I didn't even tell you how much i missed you today." the 30 year-old said a bit shy and seductively, and then she reached to offer her small hand to Tegan. "Come." she added with a confident playful smile.

"Yes ma'am..." the young musician happily complied as she took her girlfriend's hand and got up. Apparently Sara wasn't as tired as she might have thought, as she lead the way while holding her hand in to the guest room


	17. Chapter 17

Although it was just Thursday, inevitably Tegan was already thinking about the weekend. She was still at work, just waiting for the last minutes to pass so she could get off and go to Lindsey's place, where she would meet with her and Sara who was already there. Hard to believe she was actually a bit excited about going to someone's apartment to help them pack stuff, after a long day of work too. But at least Sara was there. And at the start of the weekend she and her band would start the recording process on their new album, now that was something to be excited about.  
Someone was calling her on the phone, -it was Brett.

"Hey."

"Hey, what's up?" Tegan replied.

"Oh, nothing much, -me, Ryan and Ted were just heading out, you know, to grab some beers and some food... I was thinking maybe you want to come with, just hang out and stuff."

"You guys figured you needed a girl in your group huh?"

"Well, we can even do with more girls..." Brett followed just as ironic.

"You are in safe hands my friend, Ted and Ryan are total chick magnets, -even if they plan to be single for ever. And besides, i can't come anyway. -I have to meet Sara at Lindsey's place after work, i kinda promised them i will be there to help Lindsey with packing stuff."

"Oh... Oh yeah, you told me she's moving off to LA." Brett noted. "Want us to come help out?" he added.

"Nah, we can handle it. Most of the stuff is done anyway... Hey maybe we can all go out later on, if you guys are still up for it? Apparently she will be leaving tomorrow morning."  
\-------

After Tegan said goodbye to her co-workers as she finally got off from work, she stopped to grab some chinese food then drove to Lindsey's place.

 

 _"Oh so you are drunk. I knew it kinda seemed like it on the phone. Um, did you drive here like this?"_  
_"Nah, - relax Lindsey, -i left my car somewhere downtown, i took a cab. Now can i come in, or are you going to just let me stand here?"_  
Tegan was having some returning memories from almost 2 years ago as she went up the somewhat familiar flight of stairs. That was almost the last time she was here. That was about a month after she broke up with her pretty long-term girlfriend and started drinking quite heavily. It was also the first time she came back to Lindsey for sex, after they dated a bit, almost 5 years before. Apparently Lindsey didn't mind much then, as she let her come back two more other times after. Oh how much different were the things now, she briefly thought as she reached the floor and lightly knocked on the same door. She waited a few seconds as she herd footsteps approaching from the inside.

"Hey, hey! Look who's here!" her smiling old friend greeted. Together with her big smile Lindsey was wearing a simple grey t-shirt and some worn out knee ripped dark blue jeans that hugged her hips perfectly. She also had a big glass of white wine in her hand.

"Hey Linds." Tegan greeted with a smile of her own.

As she stepped in to the apartment she realized it was quite empty by now, most of the stuff and furniture was already moved close together to the corners of the living room.

"Oh, hey Tegan." Sara said as she was standing next to the door that led to the bedroom, her delicate voice resonated a bit in the cleared small apartment, adding even more beauty to the sound of it. She was wearing black jeans, that were already just slightly dusty and some over-sized white t-shirt over her dark grey t-shirt, that Lindsey probably gave her to wear in the apartment.

"So cool to have you here," Lindsey paused somewhat suggestively just for Tegan. "It's nice to finally see you guys together, like this, in the same place."

"Yup." Tegan replied a bit shy. She imagined Lindsey didn't tell Sara about her visits and their rebound fling a couple of years ago. Both of them knew there was no point in that and they both knew then that there was noting more to that than sex, no other spark there. Which was quite opposite than what she had with Sara. Last night they probably had the most passionate sex yet, she couldn't quite look in Sara's eyes without remembering and maybe childishly smiling at the memory of the exhilarating euphoria they were in as they pleased one another, as they both whispered and even screamed out each other's name, how Sara so passionately often made her gasp for air, despite what the beautiful and sensitive brunette went through just that morning. And how they fell asleep in each other's arms. She couldn't help to see Sara as quite fragile, even if somehow her appetite in bed was more than healthy.  
But now it was time to do what she came here for, and that is to help out. Sara seemed blissfully unaware of Tegan's familiarity with the bedroom as they were in the room, putting stuff like DVDs and lots of photo albums in boxes. Apparently some hired guys with a truck would come in early the next morning and move down all the pretty useless stuff and take it to a storage unit somewhere.

After they were done with all that, they went out in town to meet up with the guys.

"One last night out." Tegan said with a honest smile while driving to the location.

"One last night out." Lindsey repeated a bit melancholic from the backseat, looking out the window at the lights of the city that was her home for so long, that inevitably she was about to leave behind. Even though Sara was a year older she always felt like Lindsey was almost like a big sister to her, and she was definitely sad to see her go.

_______

Lindsey's departure was soon forgotten, by Tegan anyway, as less than 2 days later the band got to work at recording their upcoming album. They would do most of the stuff at Ryan's house, as it would be a pretty indie album anyway, with some of the more intricate recording done at a professional studio the label would rent for them downtown.

 

"So, if the album is well received and well appreciated, which i'm pretty sure it will, you guys have to like' quit your steady jobs in order to tour and promote." Sara was telling Tegan as the two of them were having breakfast at a coffee shop. "No more being like just some kind of local band." she added as she took another light sip from her hot cup.

"Yeah, i don't know about that... Probably. Even though we are at the same label as Death Cab there's no pressure on us from the label for the album to sell this numbers or whatever. But yeah, i guess it depends on how much crowd we pull." Tegan replied.

"Tegan Quin, are you afraid of success?" Sara questioned kinda playfully.

"No, i guess... I mean hell no!" Tegan said while her brows scrunched.

It was Sunday, just the 2nd day after they started recording. The band planed to get the album done pretty fast, in about a month, in the free time they had outside of their jobs. Normally they would leave Sunday a free day, but as it was just their 2nd day at it they made a exception and the band would meet a bit later on at Ryan's house to continue what they started yesterday. This was a perfect opportunity for Sara to drop by to, and observe them do their thing.

\----------

As it was just the beginning faze of the project, the band could do without a actual professional producer, and as a sound engineer they had Ted. so today it was just them at the house. Sara watched and listened with interest how Ryan worked like some kind of mad scientist around the band, he and Ted carefully tuning and layering some drums and keyboard sounds they just recorded yesterday and earlier today. Her interest for music and production still remained pretty strong since her much younger days, and all in all it was a good way to pass the Sunday, and she was there with her friends and Tegan.

"Hey, you' bored yet?" Tegan's calm and sweet voice came from behind her after her delicate and firm pair of hands rested on Sara's waist as she was just looking out a window from the kitchen with a cup of coffee in her hand. It was about 4 in the afternoon and the sun was shining warmly through the glass. Sara softly hummed at Tegan's voice and breath close to her ear, then without turning she replied: "No. Are you kidding me? -this is great."

"Well i'm glad you like it, so far." Tegan smiled in to the back of her girlfriend's head, taking in her scent, then she started to give delicate soft kisses on one side of her neck, making Sara hum again and slightly close her eyes. She didn't know being at the house to observe the recording process involved Tegan trying to turn her on. She couldn't quite tell if this was a good or a bad thing. But nevertheless Tegan stopped after a 3rd peck.

"Are you still sad about Lindsey leaving?" Tegan then asked in the same calming voice.

"No, - I guess not." Sara answered a bit surprised by the question. Then she turned to face the 27 year-old. "And besides, i have you guys here." she added with a smile tugging at her lips.  
Just as Tegan was so close to connect her own lips to them Ted walked in to the kitchen, his brows perking instantly as he stopped a bit embarrassed just close to the door. He stood there just for a couple of seconds, like trying to catch his thought of why he came in, then stepped to the fridge. "Just need 2 beers." he casually voiced with a smile, but visibly embarrassed.  
\-----

A bit over one hour later Tegan was standing with her own beer in her hand, leaned against the living room door rim, just watching Sara and Ryan's interactions somewhere on the other side of the room. They seemed like they were in some kind of vivid conversation, well mostly Ryan was explaining some stuff that Tegan couldn't quite make out, maybe telling a story, and Sara mostly acknowledged and smiled wide from time to time. It was nice seeing Sara smile and generally having a good time.

"Hey man, stop trying to seduce Sara and get your own girl!" Tegan said obviously joking as she finally walked over to them. She couldn't resist wanting her more to herself.

"Hey - it might have been just a few seconds but i saw her first ok!?" Ryan replied in the same tone, referring to when they first saw Sara in that picture. Sara couldn't help to let out a cute chuckle.

"Don't you have like' some synths to add to that track... you know, the one i just put down that awesome guitar rift to, the other day?" Tegan shot back with a incredulous smirk.

"Um... Oh, that track that is not even going to be on the record?" Ryan noted sarcastically.

Before Tegan could even retort anything again Brett joined the conversation. "What are you guys talking about?" he chimed in with a light smile.


	18. Chapter 18

"So... what do you think?" Sara questioned with a warm smile as they were standing in the middle of the pretty small space in which they just walked in through the black wooden door.

"I think, it's great!" Tegan said enthusiastic as she was looking around at the walls. "I wish i would have found it first." she noted with a smile.

"You always want to impress and please." Sara added as the thought gently flowed from her mouth.

"I always want to impress you." Tegan followed with a light cute smile, directed, just like her sight now, towards the young artist. Sara couldn't help to melt a bit at the expression and those words, despite how cheesy they might seem. Tegan moved in closer and placed a soft kiss on her lips, to which Sara gave a reflexive light hum.

"The light will get in here just perfect. Like, i can already see myself working now." Sara then said with a confident and content expression, that was radiating from her smile all the way to the tips of her delicate fingers.

The room was a former small tattoo studio, just a empty space now up for renting, which Sara found on the internet. She managed to find it pretty fast, in her free time, thing that she had alot more than Tegan since her band started working on the recording of the album. But nevertheless, just as the young musician told her almost 2 weeks ago, Tegan did look for a space for Sara to rent so she could work more on her art projects there, just that Sara found one first. The studio like space was on the 2nd floor of a pretty old building situated in the north-east part of the city. And the monthly rent was quite good to. Sara already wanted to turn it in to her workshop as fast as she could. For Tegan this probably meant even less time in getting to see her. But she couldn't hate on that, -no matter how much she wanted to spend more time with Sara, that's the way things were.

"Cool, - Now we just have to bring all the stuff in, -like a table and a easel and whatnot." Tegan noted, just basking in her girlfriend's excitement.  
\-------

Things at Ryan's house were going pretty good to, as the recording of their new album flowed pretty smoothly, despite the seemingly shortage of time they could allocate for it. By now, 9 days in, they already finished recording 3 tracks for the album. At this pace they would probably get it done easily within the time they set up to. The process was also fun, for Tegan and the rest of the group, as she got to bond even more through this experience with her friends and band mates. She already had the experience of going through the process of recording an album, as she recorded with her past band 1 LP and 2 albums, even though the two styles the bands approached were quite different, - with her old band being more raw and relying more on bass and guitars, in contrast with her current band Cast The Sails who were more rhythm drums and synth oriented.

__________

 

_"My lungs... my lungs feel so cold." Tegan thought in a somewhat hazy state._

_"Wait... i'm... here, again." she then said in an almost whisper, looking around the giant trees in the forest. And now different from last time there was some gloomy fog, but that seemed to fit right in this kind of landscape. Everything was so peaceful and natural that Tegan kinda felt like she already was in there for a long time, even though she only realized where she was when the cold hit her lungs and her skin. Or maybe it was the slight familiarity of the place, as she was now remembering.  
"Sara..." the thought rapidly came to her, as she now remembered how she got here in the first place. But at first glance her girlfriend was nowhere in sight._

_"Is this some kind of premonition?" she asked herself, lost and a bit confused and scared. She started moving more fast. She wanted to find Sara. She wanted to find Charlotte and Lisa again._

_"Sara!" Tegan was now calling out loud her name through the mist, her voice echoing in the old-growth forest. "Sara where are you? Anyone...?"_

_As she took few more steps something quite breathtaking caught her eye moving through the trees - in all the fog there was like a cloud of light that looked like it was floating close to the ground while moving about, and she could somehow feel it to, feel some kind of heat coming from it, even though it was pretty far away. She was now more scared, but at the same time intrigued by it. The light formation seemed to have stopped about 70 feet in front of her. Tegan just froze. Now it was slowly moving even more closer to her._

_"Why do you see her?" a voice spoke. It was coming from the cloud of light. Tegan felt chills crawling up her spine. She couldn't even speak._

_"Did you see her anywhere now?" the voice asked again. It sounded like a soft woman's voice, and this made Tegan relax just a bit more._

_"I... Who are you?" Tegan almost knew deep inside her the voice was asking about Sara.  
Now as the strange light got somewhat closer it unravelled in the shape of a beautiful woman, that seemed no older than 40, who had medium-length beautiful bangy hair and was probably just a bit taller than her. Tegan could also make out that she was dressed quite normal, in a button-up long shirt and some pants, but her familiarity was contrasted by the light and the warmth still emanating from her semi-transparent silhouette._

_"Don't be afraid. I'm her mother. I'm Sara's mother." the ghostly woman said. At the sound of that Tegan was shocked. She felt tears wanting to spill out and warm her cold cheeks._

_"Oh... i guess i should introduce myself, - i'm Sonia Clement. Don't worry, i already know who you are." she said and Tegan could make up a smile on her radiating face, and all this made her to light up considerably more. She was almost feeling like she was floating to at that moment._

_"Do you... do you know my friends, Charlotte and Lisa?" Tegan asked a bit hesitant._

_"Hmm... no, - i can't say that i've met them. Sorry." the woman spoke softly._

_"Oh..." Tegan voiced, a bit sad._

_"Do you know where we are? I'm probably dreaming, right? I don't know what's going on." she followed._

_"We are in the ancient forest." the woman noted, without saying anything more. Not getting any more answers Tegan thought about Sara._

_"Is Sara here to? Do you know where she is?" she thought to ask._

_"Oh, i think she is always here, she is a spirit of the forest." Sonia said with a somewhat sad, endearing expression. But a small smile was still on her lips. "But i can't find her all the time, no matter how hard i look."  
"I just come here in this forest when i have the chance. And that is not often, unfortunately. Just to find her, just to see my daughter, and spend some time in her presence. She is my Sara... but is not quite her. You see, when i do find her spirit here, she barely acknowledges me. Sometimes she does." a smile grew on the woman's face as she paused a bit to reflect. "We would stop to talk a bit, then she would continue onward, almost ignoring me completely again, until she evaporates in to light and shade particles or turn in to a eagle and fly away."_

_Tegan never felt more intrigued in her life than about what Sonia was telling her._

_"I know, is not much, and that this is not really Sara, -but i keep coming back for her. This, this is the only interaction i can have with my daughter. Some times i wish i could fly with her..." Tegan could tell that the ghostly woman was lost in thought. She herself was trying to process everything she said, while tears were forming in her eyes that she wasn't even aware of._

_"So Tegan, why do you see and search for her here? I know that you are her girlfriend... but none of her past acquaintances ever came here before."_

_"Ummm, I... I don't know. I don't know what any of this means! But how can you come here for her? I thought this was my dream." Tegan asked confused._

_"Oh, it's more than that dear."  
Before Tegan could say anything or ask more on that matter Sonia continued. "Could you please help me find her?"_

_She didn't quite know what the woman actually meant by that but she replied without much hesitation. "Sure."_

_"Come, she must be around here somewhere." Sonia said as she turned her light emanating body in another direction and started effortlessly moving again, with her feet not even touching the ground. Tegan even felt some kind of urgency in her, as she was moving pretty fast again, almost the way she did when she first saw her._

_"Hey, wait up! I can't move that fast!"_

_"Hey, wait!" Tegan was just struggling to keep up with her. It was hard for her even to catch her breath, as the cold humid air was invading her lungs again._

Tegan woke up in semi-darkness with heavy breathing. She looked around from a bed, with her torso now lifted and lying back on her hands. She gazed at the big window from which some really early morning light was making things somewhat more clear in the bedroom. The moon was probably still on the sky. Tegan then noticed she still had some tears in her eyes, reminiscent from that strange dream, as she reached a hand up to her face. Then she turned her head and looked down to see Sara was there, next to her, sleeping blissfully with her back turned and one beautifully tattooed arm sticking out over the sheets. Tegan looked at her for a few seconds lying there peacefully, then she turned to her and tilted her body so that she could place some delicate kisses on her shoulder, even if it was covered by a white t-shirt sleeve, and her upper arm, so as to not wake her. When she moved up and placed a kiss on her neck to, Sara softly hummed in her sleep. Tegan thought that was so adorable, as a smile grew on her lips, clearing away some of the concerns from her eerie dream. She was actually so glad she had Sara next to her then, as she carefully positioned herself close to her back and put a arm around her waist and on her exposed hand.


	19. Chapter 19

The sun was now shining bright through the bedroom window as Tegan finally woke up. The side of the bed where Sara was sleeping under her arm just a few hours ago was empty.

"What time is it?" she said to herself in a low husky voice as she stretched a arm to grab her phone that was on top of the bedside nightstand, not bothering to actually get up yet.

 

"Morning!" Sara greeted from the living room sofa where she was standing with her laptop and a cup of black coffee, as Tegan walked in dressed in a black t with the sleeves rolled up and grey joggers, with her hair a bit messy.

"Morning." Tegan said back as she walked to the couch to greet her girlfriend with a kiss.

"It's funny, -this is on of the really few times when you wake up after me." Sara noted with a smile.

"Yeah, i know, right? I guess i'm getting more tired from work and the recording stuff and i get to slouch around more in my work-free days."

"Hey, it's oke with me. Coffee? There is some already made in the kitchen." Sara said while she moved her sight back in to the laptop.

"Nice. Are you sure is not just for you?" Tegan pointed out jokingly. She knew by now how much Sara loved coffee.

"Nah. I can make more later."  
Tegan got up from the sofa, but not before placing a fast kiss on Sara's head.

 

As Tegan was eating some waffles and a croissant with her coffee in the kitchen she was thinking about the dream she had last night. She figured she should tell Sara about it, being that apparently in this dream her girlfriend's long deceased mother was present, a woman that Tegan didn't actually know. She still wasn't sure if she should tell her though, considering the mention of her mother would most likely sadden or put her in a bad mood and Sara's somewhat apprehensive reaction when she told her about her last dream of this nature. But nevertheless, the dream was to much tied to the young artist for Tegan not to at least mention about it.

\-----

"So then, when i couldn't keep up with her the dream ended almost the same way i found my self in it." Tegan was finishing relating what she remembered about the strange dream which was clearly tied to her last two dreams.

"Okay... this is fucked up." Sara said with sort of a sceptical chuckle. Tegan stared at her with sad eyes and a questioning expression, waiting for her to say more of her thoughts. It was already clear that Sara was in kind of a shock state after hearing all that about her mother, as nevertheless was expected, even if the 30 year-old was in some sort of denial, probably just a defence mechanism.

"I really don't know what to say..." she added after a few second.

"I mean, you described the way my mother looked, before the cancer and the chemo started to take their toll... and i know i didn't even show you any picture of her..."

"She was actually very beautiful, just like you." Tegan said in a light voice.

"Not even i dream about her any more, - why did she somehow appear in your dream?" Sara asked confused and sad, not even looking at her.

"I don't know. I remember her telling me that it was more than that, than a dream."

"Maybe she was trying to tell me something; maybe she is trying to tell us something. Just like Lisa and Charlotte." Tegan added.

"Yeah. -Maybe they are trying to tell you to stay away from me." Sara voiced.

"Sara... I know you are scared..." the young musician said as she placed a hand on one of hers that was resting on her legs. "But i'm not going anywhere, ok?"

"You said my, -my mother was looking for my spirit in that forest? Well makes sense, i guess, -since the curse apparently makes that forest own my soul or something."

"Maybe, maybe there is like a way for you to get out of it, -for your spirit to find a way out of the forest. Maybe that's what your mother wants, maybe that's what she was trying to tell me."  
Sara now had tears forming in her eyes.

"Oh Sara... Look, i'm sorry. I'm sorry i had to bring all this up. And i'm sorry about your mom, -i know this must really hurt you." Tegan softly said as she squeezed her hand. "How can it not."

"God, i still miss her so much." the 30 year-old quietly voiced as she lightly cleared some tears from her eyes.

"I know." Tegan moved even closer to soothe her as she placed one hand on her back and the other on Sara's hand. She knew the young artist was not the type to get touchy-feely, but in this chase Tegan felt the urge to give her a hug and that it was just the natural and right thing to do, so she put her other arm around her girlfriend and lightly pulled her in to a sideways hug. Sara wasn't tense at all as she leaned in to her, and after a brief moment she to turned her body so that she could put her arms around Tegan and reciprocate the hug. Aside from Sara's watery eyes, Tegan was fighting hard tears of her own. When they broke the hug Sara was looking down a bit shy and reserved and she let out a light whimper. Tegan delicately reached a hand to capture a falling tear from close to her eye as she softly wiped it away on the tip of her fingers with a slow and sensitive stroke over Sara's cheek. Sara lifted her somewhat hurt gaze to finally look at her as she felt her touch and she was met with Tegan's warm and sympathetic expression, that was also irresistibly cute, and the young musician's smile grew a bit as their eyes met.

"I wish she would appear in my dreams to." the 30 year-old said, breaking eye contact. Tegan's heart also ached to see her so sad, and she knew there wasn't much she could say or do.

_______

Later that day Sara was at her new painting studio, continuing her just freshly started canvas piece, her first painting since they set up the space just yesterday.  
Somehow influenced by the conversation with Tegan this morning and what she revealed to her, she started to modify her initial design for the painting which she started just the other day, adding new lines and color over the initial plan. This new light of events shacked her artistic drive to, and now it wasn't most of it _all positive_. And she was clearly aware of all of it to, and she accepted it. What she couldn't really accept was the way her problem, this _curse_ situation, was affecting Tegan in a way she couldn't ever have thought of. Tegan somehow seemed now to be directly affected, thing that never happened with any of her past girlfriends or boyfriends, not with her last girlfriend that she was together with for almost 3 years, and not even with her friend Lindsey that actually knew about her problem for many years. But why Tegan? And was it just some dreams subconsciously influenced by her and her strange and unique problem that any normal person would have a hard time to even come to grips with, -God knows her last girlfriend sure as hell couldn't-, or was it, how Tegan mentioned to, actually more than that? What she knew was that Tegan was so affectionate and caring, and that she would probably do anything for her, and that this dreams would probably end up affecting her even more. Sara didn't quite know how, but she didn't want that to happen. Just thinking about those things her eyes unexpectedly started watering again, as she pressed onward with her painting, her thoughts and mood somewhat dictating her lines and color strokes the rest of the day.

\-------

"Hey, -you looked kinda' out of it today. What's up with you, everything cool?" Brett asked Tegan who was in the passenger seat of his car as they were driving home after wrapping another day of recording at Ryan's house. It was already night time but Brett knew the reason was probably not tiredness because this was one of Tegan's work-free days.

"Yeah... I was just a bit distracted i guess, that's all."

Brett paused for a moment before going forward. "You and Sara having any problems?" he continued in a friendly tone but a bit hesitant, without taking his eyes off the road.

"Oh, no... Is not that. It's just that..." Tegan had to stop her tongue and remind herself that her friend didn't know about Sara's problem and that she couldn't talk with him about anything connected to it, she almost let it slip.

"Is it about her health problems n' stuff?" good thing that Brett didn't really wait for her to finish her answer, as he asked kinda intuitively. Tegan didn't know what to say now. Last thing she needed was to worry him, or the rest of the guys.

"Well no. Not really. I guess is more about us not being able to see each other more and spend more time together, since she will be pretty busy to, with the new painting studio and all."

"Imagine how much you will miss her when we will be on tour, eh?" Brett noted.

"Yeah..."

"Hey speaking about her arts stuff, - did she finally get to show you any of her stuff she was working on lately?" her friend asked to lighten up the mood.

"Yeah, actually she did. She showed me the stuff she finished. Some drawings in graphite and like' black and colored ink, and 2 paintings. They were all really cool. I got the exclusive peek." Tegan grinned at the thought.

"Nice! -I can't wait to see them."

"Hey, maybe after we finish recording the album we will take her again at the beach, -We will all go, -y'know, maybe catch some waves, spend the night there... you know, like back in the good old days." Brett added.

After they drove around town for few more minutes Tegan thought to stop at a bar before her friend could drop her home.

"So... you're back at _this_ again?" Brett asked her a bit concerned just before he stopped the car close to the bar. Tegan gave him kind of a irritated look, but then she smiled at him.

"Dude, it's cool, -is not like i'm gona get wasted. I just feel like i need a drink. Come on, join me, you can stay just for a beer. You won't have any problem with driving from one beer." Tegan kinda pleaded with him.

"You're sure about this?" Brett was still apprehensive.

"Yeah. Pleeeas?" Tegan insisted in the nicest way she could.

"Hmmm, oke. One beer. But i won't baby-sit you."


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, *new* chapter, finally! I guess i want to mention that i didn't get to write much, just this and another one, like' 2 months ago, then i decided to post this here... So i hope i will get to post often... again, depends on the time and inspiration, and the attention that this will get, -that's a important part nevertheless.

_"You see, when i do find her spirit here, she barely acknowledges me. Sometime she does... We would stop to talk a bit, then she would just continue onward, almost ignoring me completely again..."_  
Tegan opened her eyes. The drunken haziness and the slight headache were also causing her to somehow replay in her mind some of the scenes from her last night's dream, while she was riding in a cab that was taking her to Sara's apartment. It was pretty late at night, and needless to say Brett had already left after his one beer, almost a hour and a half ago, but not before trying to convince her she shouldn't stay at the bar any more either, clearly unsuccessful. Tegan thought about the dream throughout the day, -even the recording work couldn't quite get her mind off it. She had flashbacks to that forest and she even thought what could had happened if she could keep up with the spirit of Sara's mother when she asked for her help to find Sara, if the dream didn't end there. All this thoughts, added with the frustration that she couldn't even talk with her best friend about it, and that she saddened Sara this morning and even made her cry, made her feel the way she didn't feel in months, like she wanted to somehow drink her frustrations away, thing that was unfortunately all so familiar to her. She did stay at the bar more than she wanted to, and now she could barely keep her eyes open.  
What she would say to Sara? She never saw her drunk before. She never saw her like this.  
"Damn, i'm so stupid!" Tegan cursed at herself just quiet enough that the cab driver couldn't make out what she actually said, as they were almost close to Sara's neighborhood. At least Sara didn't call her to ask when she was getting home.  
After paying the driver and watching the cab drive off in to the night Tegan carefully made her way up the flight of stairs to the 2nd floor, as it was a bit of a challenge to even stand up straight. She was still feeling so lightheaded from the alcohol. She sighed deeply as she got to the door and knocked on it carefully. She looked down as the floor seemed to spin beneath her, as she waited for Sara to open the door. _"Damn."_  
The familiar sound of the lock click open pulled her dizzy gaze up.

"Hey!" Sara greeted her with a soft smile just as she opened the door.

"Hey you." Tegan replied as she walked in. Her girlfriend moved in to give her the usual formal kiss on the lips. As soon as she pulled away the young artist gave her kind of a strange look, that Tegan was totally expecting. She knew that Sara could tell something was up even before their lips met.

"Hmm, so that's why you've been out so long." she said with a playful smirk. Tegan didn't know what to reply immediately so she just reflexively lifted a hand to scratch the back of her head.

"Yeah, about that... Me and Brett met with Tony and some other old friend after recording. Sorry i didn't call you to let you know i will be out late, it was like' totally unplanned stuff."

"Ok." Sara noted as she put a hand on Tegan's shirt collar, as to delicately straighten it even if it wasn't really out of place, before somewhat shyly lifting her eyes to connect with hers for a short glimpse, giving her a light smile, then she walked in to the living room where the TV was running. After taking off her shoes and jacket Tegan walks in to the living room to and rests on the couch next to her. The narrative and even the images from the TV seem somewhat blurred out because of her lightheadedness.

"Um, what are you watching?" she thought to ask.

"Oh nothing really. It's just some documentary about Persian history." Sara promptly replied, a bit bored.

"So... how are you getting on in your new studio?" Tegan skipped to the next question, trying her best to sound as normal and articulate as she can.

"Getting on pretty good. Nice to have that space where i can just switch out... Did some good progress today to." the 30 year-old noted with a content smile.

"Great." Tegan lightly nodded. Few somewhat awkward seconds of silence then followed between them.

"So... besides getting drunk tonight, how did recording go today?" Sara asked with a formal smile. Needless to say Tegan right then felt even more awkward and a bit embarrassed. Well at least the obvious was out of the way.

"Oh, it went... well, you know... I think we almost have like half of the album done. Of course we need to do more of the mastering stuff at that studio in the city... but yeah, we're making good progress."  
"And sorry about the drunk stuff, i guess i got a bit carried away."

"It's cool, i guess. I think you've seen me drunk a couple of times anyway." Sara voiced, a bit amused towards the end.

Tegan rested her throbbing head on her shoulder. " Hmmm... I don't remember."

Then Sara put a gentle hand on her cheek and on the side of her head. "It's ok."

 

After just a couple of minutes of resting on her shoulder Tegan lifted her head and started to place tender kisses on her collar bone area and slowly moving up to her delicate neck. Sara closed her eyes for a moment and gave a sweet smile, as her breaths got a bit stronger.

"Tegan... I m pretty tired. And you are soo drunk."

"So what? That doesn't mean i can't still kiss you..." the 27 year-old said as she now reached with her trail of kisses close to the base of her ear, while at the same time letting one of her hands gently wonder on the base of Sara's neck. It was after Sara lightly moved her hand away with her own that she stopped, realizing that maybe she was getting to ahead of herself.

"I'm sorry." Tegan said apologetically, looking at her with sad, tired eyes after pulling away.

"No, it's okay..." Sara then softly voiced, and wasting no time in leaning towards her to give her a delicate kiss on the lips, for reassurance somehow. It felt so good, as their faces lingered close to each other for a few more seconds after that, breathing on each other's lips, before Sara gave her a kiss on the forehead and pulled away. Tegan then rested her tired head on her girlfriend's legs, and Sara soothingly put one hand on her silky hair, softly caressing it back away from her face.  
_____

 

The next morning Tegan could barely get out of bed to go to work. But nevertheless, she did manage it, though she had to hurry because she was up a half-an-hour later than she usually did. She decided to skip the coffee, just as she usually would do when she was living at Brett's place, she would just grab a cup to go on her way to work, so she just poured herself a bowl of cereal after she took a fast shower.  
As she got to the task of dressing in her work clothes through still pretty throbbing headache she reminded herself in what state she was in last night and how Sara had to wake her up and help her to her room because she had fallen asleep on the couch while still resting on her legs. And she remembered how she helped her get undressed and get in her sleep clothes. And that's about how far she could remember, as she took a last look at her bed where Sara was still sound asleep. She finished pulling her black oversize t-shirt over her tired body and just had to grab her jacket and her keys and phone and she was ready to go.


	21. Chapter 21

More than a week later and Tegan had almost forgot about everything, her strange dreams, her frustrations. The band now had to move to the more professional studio that the label had rented for them for the last 10 days of the recording so she was pretty stoked. It wasn't to fancy but it would definitely help them refine the finishing touches on the songs.

"- This is not my first time in an actual music studio you know." Tegan was just casually observing Brooke and Brett playfully flirt with each other around the studio.

"Oh it's not? You didn't tell me you dated other musicians." Brett said as he was holding the pretty blonde on his lap.

"Well yes i actually did date another musician, since you mentioned it, like' back in college. But that isn't how i got inside a music studio." Brooke added with a smile playing on her lips.

This was somehow making Tegan miss Sara and reminding her how little time they actually got to spend together lately. The work and the recording combined with the time Sara was spending on her art projects didn't leave much time for *them*.

"Hey, can you believe Brooke has some musician friends in Chicago?" Brett asked and kinda pulled her out of her thoughts.  
"Doesn't your dad work at a radio station in Chicago?"

"Um... Oh, yeah he does." Tegan replied.

"Maybe your dad can like' plug Brooke's friends music on. They're like a small indie band. You know how it is." Brett added jokingly.

\-------

The next day was a work free day for Tegan, thank god her program at the retail store was pretty light and most of the time she had 3 days a week free including Sunday. The recording process was, just as anything, managing the time to work around the other people's schedule, since most of them had to still work.

Sara was at her usual place in the mornings, that Tegan by now had gotten use to, -on the living room sofa, with all the light from outside shining through, checking on her clothing website, sketching something on paper or on her tablet or just scrolling the news and her social media, with her mug of coffee always by her side.

"Hey babe. What's that?" Tegan casually voiced as she leaned in from the back of her couch to give Sara a short and soft kiss on the cheek, conveniently that her hair was pulled up this morning in a cute pony tail.

"Just some sketches and doodles for maybe some new t-shirt prints. What do you think?" Sara said with a smile, asking her opinion. The young brunette was wearing a light blue button up that fitted loosely on her small frame and some black leggings.

"Hmm, i think i kinda like them all... but i like the 2nd one the most. That would look bitchin' on a t-shirt." Tegan replied, trying to sound all pragmatic.

"Yeah?" Sara asked with a cute smirk.

"I would totally rock that." Tegan added, then she made her way around the couch to sit next to her.

"Sooo..." the young musician noted in her cute charming way, while looking directly at Sara.

"What?" her girlfriend voiced, pursing her lips shyly.

"What are you doing later on?"

"Nothing much... going by the warehouse and maybe dropping by the store after, - other than that, don't know, maybe go on and get more done on my painting later." Sara replied. Before she could add anything more Tegan closed the distance between their lips. The kiss was gentle and unrushed though, so Sara could reciprocate immediately, with a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

"I was thinking maybe i can come hang with? since i have to get at the studio basically when Carmen gets there, and she won't get there before 5 so..."

"Ok, sure. But you know is just like' boring stuff." Sara pointed out casually.

"Then i will make it less boring." Tegan said with a smile, leaning in for another, more sensual kiss.

"You are being such a distraction right now." Sara sweetly voiced as soon as they broke from their 2nd kiss. But Tegan knew that she didn't really mind it to much and actually liked it to, even if the 30 year-old's cute smile wasn't already enough proof of that. They were still on the couch and Sara still had her sketch book in her lap, but Tegan quickly move it and placed it carefully on the coffee table in front of the sofa.

"Well i'm sorry, i can't help it." Tegan said with a seductive smirk. Then she moved even closer, placing a hand on one of Sara's legs and the other lightly on the side of her neck and leaning in for another, even more sensual kiss than the last. After hesitantly parting their flushed lips Tegan moved a bit down to place delicate kisses on the young artist's beautiful neck, her hand now slowly massaging her leg, the thin leggings only accentuating her legs gracefulness. Tegan already knew she was turning her on, despite Sara's apparent attempts at some kind of protests, that only came out as some sort of _hmms._ After a few seconds she carefully but swiftly placed her hands on Sara's hips so that she can grasp her bum and her thighs and shift her body just as carefully in a more convenient and comfortable laid down position on the couch, with her standing on top. While keeping eye contact and a calming smile she gently undone Sara's ponytail, letting her short hair fall free around her face and neck, then she leaned down to give her a short sweet kiss, before she lifted her torso back again to pull her grey t-shirt off her body and dispense of it, throwing it somewhere on the low table.

"Um, did i mention i actually have some work to do today?" Sara noted with a smile, switching back to eye contact from Tegan's almost naked body. She lightly started biting her bottom lip as Tegan unbuttoned one of her shirt buttons, exposing more of her skin.

"Did i mention how damn beautiful and sexy you are?" Tegan said seductively, opening the next button, and not wasting any time in leaning down again and put tender kisses and pecks on the newly exposed warm skin and on her neck.

\-------

 

"So... where are we going?" Sara asked from the passenger seat of Tegan's car.

"Well... I've kinda been hovering around you all day, watching you take care of business and stuff, now i thought we should go chill for a minute." Tegan who was driving replied with a warm smile. After their fast and sweet make-out session back at the apartment Tegan drove Sara around town, first to her clothes and accessories warehouse located just south of Bellevue, then to the store in downtown Seattle that was selling most of her products. Well Sara was right about the boring part, but Tegan didn't mind, at least she got to spend more time with her, and she kinda already knew that Sara's 'business' day involved for the most part just checking on the products and on the orders. Sara had 3 other employees overseeing the stuff at the small warehouse, which was also part printing studio.

Tegan thought to drive Sara to a place she would often go alone to relax and clear her thoughts, Lincoln Park.

 

"You know, this park is kinda' like haven and hell for me, -well maybe not hell, more like purgatory." the young musician was telling Sara as they were sitting on a bench close to the bay shore, with the occasional joggers and cyclists passing by in front of them.

"Why's that?" Sara said looking at her intrigued.

"I used to come here alot... especially in my _dark_ phase... you know, when the depression and the drinking stuff was happening. I would come here just to clear my thoughts, or to reflect on stuff, or just to be alone, y'know?"  
"And then, after all that shit and the rehab thing, i still came here like' once a week, even though it reminded me of all that stuff... i still came here..."

"Well, i can see why, -it's a peaceful place." Sara voiced, looking at the bay view. "And maybe it's also sort of a reminder for you on how you pulled through."

"Yeah... And maybe now this place will also remind me of you." Tegan said and then she turned giving her a cute smile. Sara then leaned in for a kiss and the 27 year-old was more than happy to reciprocate. After that they started kissing even more intensely, with Tegan putting a steady and delicate hand on Sara's jaw, not caring about any of the other people that might pass by. But as she expected, Sara was the first to break the kiss as she was the more shy and reserved one about that sort of thing.

"So hey..." Tegan voiced as she grabbed one of Sara's palms and put warmth on it with both of her own. "Wana come see the recording studio? It's pretty awesome. Or you have some other plans?"

"Well, i guess i can come see it... and not go at my own small studio." Sara replied with a smile.

"Great!" Tegan noted before lifting Sara's palm and giving it a sensitive kiss.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New stuff i wrote in over 2 months.

The busy summer days flowed pretty fast, and in a bit over a week later, just like they had planed out, the band wrapped out the final day of recording their new album. Now it all rested in the hands of the Seattle indie label with which Cast The Sails had signed for the next step of multiplication, packaging and distribution. So the guys from the band had a bit of some breathing time before preparing for touring and some general promoting. This was just their 2nd actual album and obviously their most ambitious one, even if they were still keeping things pretty low key. The first leg of touring would consist of hitting venues and some summer festivals across the west coast and mid-west.

The next day after finishing the album all the members of the band, together with some few other friends including Sara, were having a night out at a popular restaurant/lounge place in downtown Seattle. Well it was either this or a bawling alley, -good thing they didn't pick bawling, Tegan was the only one in the band that didn't know how to do that, -even Carmen knew, and she was straight.

Tegan was watching Brett and almost all the other people at the table just gulp down another round of shots. It was the 2nd one, and Tegan took part in the first one less than half-an-hour ago, just for the sake of it, she couldn't turn down at least one line of shots with her friends.  
Well at least there were still some people at the table who didn't indulge in that, Sara was one of them. She was still catering to her first beer. But needless to say everyone was in pretty good spirits.

"I would have been all over that if this was like' a year ago." Tegan noted kinda quietly to Sara who was sitting next to her. Then she turned her head to her girlfriend and gave her a sweet light smile. The young artist kinda snuggled in to her shoulder with a light smile of her own. Tegan never said it or didn't even think about it much, but Sara undeniably had some merits in making her not want to think about her drinking ways in general and keeping her even more grounded. Yeah Tegan was pretty strong, but Sara made her feel even more strong.

 

"So i heard this one adjusted perfectly in the band and pretty fast." Alex, a friend of Ryan's pointed out, referring to Tegan.

"Yeah... she kinda did, -And we who were in doubts we even needed a guitar player... Guess she kinda' proved us wrong." Carmen said, eyeing her with a smile.

"Oh stop it, you..." Tegan gestured jokingly to her friend.

"And now i bet you can't wait to go out there and tour with this crazy bastards." Alex continued.

"Yup, if the touring will be anything like the recording of this album, should be lots of fun." Tegan noted. With Sara still leaning on her shoulder she couldn't help to think again for a brief moment that she would get to see her even less, and maybe subconsciously she was still even worried about her, to just leave her alone like that.

 

After hanging out for more than a couple of hours at that place, having their little celebration, the band members together with Ted, Sara and Brett's girlfriend headed to a fast food place after their other friends left probably for home. It was pretty late, but some of the people from the remaining group, who were more or less drunk, had some craving for junk food apparently.

Finally after that they kinda called it a night as Ryan, Ted and Carmen took a cab to head home. And now Tegan and Sara were just walking with Brett and Brooke a bit more around town.  
They all got a bit amused when Brett unattetively almost walked in to a fire hydrant.

"Damn, who put that thing here?" Brett joked like a good sport, and trying to deflect a bit from the fact that he was still feeling kinda drunk.

"I think the question is how many beers did you have?" Tegan noted with a smirk. "I mean, we already know you had 4 round of shots."

"Ha, i think one to many probably." her friend replied, while Brooke was holding tightly one of his arms to kinda help him balance, not that he really had trouble walking straight.

"Hey, at least you didn't have much to drink, i'm proud of you kido." Brett added half-jokingly.

"Yeah, maybe if Tony was there too like the last time it would have been a different story." Sara said on the same note.

"Wait, i don't get it. Tony? What last time?" Brett voiced kinda confused. Things just got a bit awkward, especially for Tegan. She tried to shoot Brett a look without Sara noticing, in hopes that he would understand and perceive it as a _'act like you know'_ signal. Luckily her friend did pick up on it pretty fast and Sara didn't really notice their eye contact.

"Oh... -Oh, that! Right. Obviously i'm pretty drunk, cos i didn't remember that like' straight away..."

"But at least you weren't drunk then, -cause you had to drive." Tegan added jokingly, trying to clue him in even more and kinda deflect the situation.

"Right..." Brett noted. But Sara had already kinda picked up that something was fishy, but she didn't want to say anything on it.

"Anyway... I think we should head home." he said looking at Brooke.  
"We will just grab a cab from across the street there."

"Okay, it was a really fun night. Cya guys!" Brooke said smilingly while still holding and leaning against her boyfriend.

"Yeah, take care. Don't stay up to late now." Brett added as they were heading to cross the street.

"Well i hope that won't be a problem for you, cause i was kinda thinking there is still one place i want to take you tonight, since it seems we are pretty close to it too." Tegan told Sara.

"Hmm, okey." the young artist replied, snuggling more in to her shoulder.

"Great!" Tegan voiced before turning her head to give her a soft kiss on the forehead.  
\----

"Oh my god, Tegan... i know this place." Sara said with a wide smile as they got close to the small park in the middle of the city, the one Tegan took her to on their first date.

"Really...? I was kinda afraid you figured out where i was taking you when we first started heading towards it. I'm glad i actually got to surprise you like this."

"I'm still not that familiar with the city, especially at night, i guess." Sara noted. Tegan turned to her to steal a short kiss from her lips.

 

It was almost past midnight while the two of them headed for the high spot of the quite empty park, the place from where they could admire the city, just like on their first date.

"Can you believe it's been almost 2 months since i first took you out here?" Tegan said looking in to the distance.  
"Though is not quite the picnic idea we suggested for our 2nd date here." she then added with a smile forming on her lips.

"That would have been a bit to cheesy anyway." Sara noted.

"Hey, it was you initial suggestion." Tegan replied somewhat teasingly.

"Yeah, and you totally went along with that." Sara added while looking at her with that cute smile.

"What can i say, apparently you bring out the romantic side in me." the young musician said with a reserved smile, -because it was kinda true, and she had fallen pretty deep for Sara in this short couple of months whether she wanted to admit it or not.

"Yeah?" the 30 year-old voiced as she leaned in for a sensitive kiss, while Tegan didn't hesitate to reciprocate.

"Well you are that, and you are also sweet, so caring, really funny and hot..." she added after they broke the kiss, in the same seductive light tone and with a warm smile, with the tips of her left hand's fingers lightly resting on Tegan's chest.  
"Don't forget smart, and super talented." Tegan continued with a cute expression. Sara couldn't help to let out a soft giggle.  
The young musician then put one hand around her back and the other around the front side of her waist as she pulled her even closer to lean on her shoulder and also for some extra warmth. Sara took a relaxed deep breath as she rested in to her younger girlfriend.

"So, umm do you guys know any schedule for your touring already?" Sara thought to ask.

"No, not yet. It's a bit to early for that. But we will most likely have some shows booked by our tour manager for next month and throughout September when the album will drop."

"Wow, things are moving fast." Sara noted.

"Yup. And that's only the start of it." Tegan said.  
"That's why... i want to spend as much time with you as i can in this next month or so..." she added and gave her girlfriend a light thoughtful kiss on the temple.

They rested there in the peaceful night for another half-an-hour or so, exchanging a passionate kiss and just enjoying the moment and that beautiful view of the city.

"Hey babe?" Tegan softly voiced to Sara who was still resting in her arms.

"Hmm?" the young artist muttered sleepily almost without motioning any movement.

"I think you are kinda falling asleep here." the 27 year-old said as she rested her chin on her shoulder. "As romantic and tempting as the prospect of waking up in the morning here might be, i think we should head home, -it's already pretty chilly out here."

Sara then turned her head to give her a soft and sleepy kiss on the lips. "Ok." she noted with a light smile.

"I wouldn't want you to catch a cold in the middle of the summer." Tegan added.

Tegan helped her up, they took one last look at the city view across the lake from up there, then they left the park and grabbed a cab to head home.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's nice to see people are still reading this. But i'm curious to know what you guys think about the chapters and of the story.

About 2 weeks had passed since they wrapped the recording of the album. And since they had more time now and summer was in full swing they decided to follow up on Brett's idea and go surfing close to Westport again, since it was kinda' their spot, and even spend the night camping there.  
Besides getting to actually catch some pretty decent waves, Tegan had lots of fun casually trying to teach Sara how to stand up and hold her balance on her surfing board. The 30 year-old came prepared this time, wetsuit and all, and the water was not nearly as cold as the last time they've been here. One thing that she kinda found out, even though it was already pretty clear, was that she needed more strength in her legs, and speed. Nevertheless, with the help of Tegan she did finally manage to hold her balance on the board for a few seconds at a time, a few times. Not bad for her first day at this, -well her girlfriend was pretty persistent and patient.

 

The sun was already setting over the ocean and some of the people from the group managed to set up and light a beach fire close to the small grassy dunes.

"Damn, they are still out there?" Brett asked as he just came back from a stroll around the area's woods with Brooke.

"Yup." Sara voiced from next to the fire, as she was sitting down with a few other people there, and heating up a marshmallow. The other people around the fire were Ryan, Carmen and Rob's girlfriend Larisa. Tegan and Rob were still in the water catching some last waves before it would get dark, and because the wind was still facilitating this.

"They should be out pretty soon, the wind is kinda dying out." Brett said while looking towards the ocean.

 

Tegan was lying on her surf board, lightly pedaling with her hands. As she took another short glimpse towards the beach, then towards the small forest behind it in that early evening setting her mind couldn't help to jump to the memory of her last dreams she had many days ago. This forest wasn't anything like the one in her dreams but still it was enough to make her remember. Then, suddenly, she was knocked off her board and under the water by a wave she probably was supposed to catch. After that she figured she kinda had enough for today and started heading with her board towards the shore.

"Hey, what happened back there? I saw you kinda' freeze up and you looked like you didn't even notice that wave coming up on you." Rob asked as he was getting out of the water with her and they were heading towards the camp fire.

"Yeah, my mind totally flew in another place, -and i'm pretty tired after all this surfing and trying to teach Sara the basics earlier."

After they changed in some normal clothes the 2 joined the others at the fire.

All this salt water and surfing worked in them a good appetite, good thing they brought plenty of food. They didn't bring any tents, just some appropriate sleeping bags, so they would all be sleeping under the stars tonight.

After getting pretty much their fill of food and having some beers around the fire while chatting about and playing cards, Tegan and Sara went to take a walk in the tranquil night around the water's edge.

"Soo, you didn't tell me if you still want to learn some more how to surf." Tegan said as they were walking along close to the splashing waves.

"Oh i think you just want me to praise how good of a teacher you were." Sara replied with a playful smirk.

"You read my mind, -and i take that as a yes?" the young musician pointed out with a smile.

Sara leaned in for a fast kiss. "Hm, definitely yes." she voiced after she pulled back from the kiss. This made Tegan crave her soft smiling lips even more and she halted their slow steps to put one hand on Sara's sharp jaw and give her a longer and savory kiss.

"So, umm how good was i as a teacher?" the 27 year-old asked smoothly after they parted their lips but with their faces still lingering really close to each other.

"Um, i think i will tell you that some other time." Sara replied in the same manner while looking down at her lips.

Then Tegan gave her another, lighter kiss. "You are such a tease you know that?" she said with a cute seductive smile. They continued onward, and after a few steps Tegan thought to take her sneakers off and just walk barefoot. The sand still retained some heat from the warm summer day. Sara followed her initiative and took her green high top sneakers off to. They didn't really say any word after that, they just enjoyed the serenity of the moment and the sound of the ocean waves close to them as they walked slowly, leaning against and holding each other.

"Will you miss me when we will be on tour?" Tegan thought to ask a few minutes later, while looking at the ocean.

"You know i will miss you alot. I will miss all of you." her girlfriend said before moving in to connect their lips for a soft short kiss.

"I wish i could take you with me." Tegan noted. "But there is probably no space in the small bus anyway." she added after letting out a nosy sigh.

"Hey, at least you guys don't tour in a van. And besides, at least you will have the band merch i will do for you guys." Sara said half-jokingly.  
\---

A bit later and they got back to the others from their night beach stroll.

"Heey... you're back." Carmen voiced looking at them as they walked back in the group.

"Rob was just telling us a scary story on how a band of hippie homeless zombies chased him through the streets of Oklahoma." Brett pointed out jokingly.

"Hey it's Oklahoma, shit is crazy out there." Rob added with a beer in his hand and the other around Larisa.

"Yes, Rob just hates homeless people." Brett added.

"Shut up you bum!" Rob shot back, playing along.

"Hey, you just hate me cos i'm a better drummer bro." Brett said with a calm cocky smile.

They all spent more time around the beach fire talking some more about all kinds of stuff, and Ryan and Tegan even took turns on playing something on the guitar he brought with him from home. Carmen even lightly joined in with some vocals after some good pleading from some of the others.  
Gradually they all settled in their sleeping bags, with the last people that did that having to extinguish the fire, but not all were ready to fall asleep.  
Carmen and Ryan were the only ones that didn't share a sleeping bag with anyone.

 

"Mm, it feels kinda awkward that we are the only gay people here." Tegan lightly voiced after they broke from another tender kiss.

"Yeah, a bit." Sara noted with a smile, they were both lying in the same sleeping bag, just making out quietly.

"This kinda reminds me of when i was in school camp."  
"Nah i'm kidding, - i hated that and i wasn't even gay back then, -i think. And i definitely didn't have a beautiful girl sleeping in my sleeping bag with me." Tegan added while looking in to Sara's eyes. Then they shared a warm and kinda shy smile, and the young musician connected their lips again for a teasing and sensual kiss. Their attention was a bit diverted because of some shuffling noises and quiet giggles coming from Brett and Brooke's sleeping bag a bit further away. Sara couldn't help to let out a light chuckle.

"Is not hard to imagine what _they're doing_." Tegan noted quietly with a smirk. She felt Sara's breathing closer to her and before she knew it the 30 year-old was placing soft kisses on her neck and jaw, and she couldn't help to let out a pleased hum, careful so that only Sara could hear. She then placed her right hand under her girlfriend's head with the other moving slowly up and down on the naked skin of her leg that was resting over hers.  
Sara rested her head on Tegan's arm that she placed there like some sort of pillow, while with her other hand Tegan moved her leg even higher on her body so that it now rested on her hip, before moving that hand to place it on her beautiful bum. Just like Tegan, Sara was dressed in just some shorts and her black t-shirt.  
They lay like that facing each other, with the moon shining enough light that they could actually still make out each other's faces in the depth of the night.

"Hm i think we should have moved our sleeping bag further away from the others." Tegan said with a dreamy smile. Sara softly snuggled more in to her chest.

 

_Tegan had one hand on Sara's shoulder and the other delicately on her neck as they stood there facing each other. The young artist had a hand on her waist while the other almost unnoticeably moved up to grasp and remove her own hand from her neck and place it back down, while staring in to her orbs. It was like Tegan was almost in a trance. Her girlfriend gave her a light smile that warmed her heart._

_"I have to go now Tegan." she voiced. Her heart went a bit cold after hearing this. Tegan knew they were in that imposing forest. She looked for a moment at the surroundings over Sara's shoulder then her sight went back to those beautiful light brown eyes._

_"Why do you have to leave? Where do you have to go?" she asked a bit sad and confused._

_"They are calling me." Sara then said, while resting her forehead on hers. This words made Tegan even more confused and worried._

_"Who is calling you baby?"_

_Sara was somewhat sad too as she looked at the tree tattoo on one of Tegan's hands. "The trees."  
Then she lifted her head back up. "You have to let me go." she added while looking back in to Tegan's eyes and trying to put on another light smile._

_"What? -No!" the 27 year-old said hastily with her brows frowned. But before she could add anything or make more sense of the situation Sara turned almost in the blink of an eye in a semi-transparent form, just like Lisa and Charlotte were, then she gradually but fast kinda evaporated in to some kinda of fireflies particles that spread out all around her and up in to the big trees. Tegan looked in disbelief, with some unnoticed tears threatening to spill from her eyes._

_"Sara, come back!"  
"Sara, please...!"_

_"Sara..."_

"Hey, wake up. Tegan! Wake up baby."

"Uh, -Hmm, - Sara?" she stirs lightly as she opened her eyes upon hearing her soft voice. It was already light outside.

"Shh - you were just having a dream, - i don't want you to wake up the others." her girlfriend voiced soothingly in an almost whisper.

"Sare..." Tegan was breathing pretty heavy.

"I'm here babe. It's okay." she reassured her with a endearing expression and placed her lips on hers, giving her a delicate kiss.

"Um, Tegan, you are kinda burning." she said worried after they broke the light kiss. Then she put the back of her palm on her forehead. She looked even more concerned in to her girlfriend's eyes.


	24. Chapter 24

Good thing it was already morning when Tegan woke up from her bad dream, and with a fever too, although it was pretty early. She realized fast that she had to move away from Sara so as to not risk giving her the cold too. So she carefully got out of the sleeping bag with her help and they grabbed her jeans and went to Brett's pickup truck. It seemed no one else was awake at this time. Sara settled Tegan in on the back seat, covering and tucking her with one of the warm colorful blankets they brought with them to the beach.

"Right. Umm, do we have any aspirin or any other antibiotics with us...?" Sara said, seemingly a bit panicked and obviously concerned after she carefully put the blanket over her ill girlfriend.

"Um, i don't think so. Anyway is no use waking up the others over it." Tegan voiced in a weak tone and with her eyes almost closed.

"Uh, okay... I will make some fast tea then..." Sara sleepily scrambled for solutions in her head. "Just... hold tight okay baby?"

"Okay." Tegan said after taking in a deep breath.

Sara went ahead and made some tea she brought from home, in their portable water heater, but her moving around the camp didn't go unnoticed by some of the other people still sleeping around there.

"Well you're up early." Carmen voiced tired from her sleeping bag, now propping her body on her elbows. "Is Tegan up too?"  
Sara was a bit lost for words.  
"Um, yeah she is up. Do you guys happen to have any aspirin with you? Apparently she has a fever."

Carmen gave her a strange look. "Really? Well that's strange." she noted bluntly.

"Yeah, -she's in Brett's car right now. She's not feeling to good." Sara said while waiting for the tea to be ready.

"Uh, yeah we do have some aspirin, -i think is in Ryan's backpack."

Sara found the small medicine bottle and together with the hot tea she brought them to the car to give them to Tegan.

"Okay, good. I will try to find like' a piece of cloth and soak it in some cold water so you can hold over your head and neck ok?." Sara said after spending a couple of minutes with her in the car.

"Hey Sara, -Thanks." Tegan voiced with a soft endearing expression just as her girlfriend was getting out of the car, making her turn her head. Sara didn't say anything, she just gave her a honest warm smile.

 

A bit latter she came back with a cold bottle of water she took from the cooler box in which they held their beers too, and a piece of cloth she had to cut from her towel. Tegan lightly twitched and took in a deep breath at the gentle contact of the cold and wet material with her hot forehead, as Sara placed it and held it there before the 27 year-old lifted on of her hands out of the blanket to hold it there herself.

"As much as i love you nurturing me like this, i think you should maybe go back and catch some more sleep. I already feel bad for waking you up like this." Tegan said tired but still putting on a smile even thought she had pretty bad headaches.

"No it's ok. Don't feel bad. I think i will stay here for a while, okay?" Sara voiced with sleepy eyes and a light smile as she found and took Tegan's free hand in her own and lightly massage the back of her palm.

"Sara, it's fine really. - I'm fine." her girlfriend said dismissively with her eyes half closed.

"Come here." Sara added right after. "Rest your head in my lap."  
Tegan could only comply with that without much hesitation or any other comment, other than a light sigh, and she rested her blanket wrapped body in a lay down position on her side over the back seat and over her girlfriend's legs. She let Sara hold the wet piece of cloth and place it over her neck.

As she was feeling Sara's smooth and soft touches with her gentle fingers over the side of her face and head and lightly brushing through some slightly sweaty strands of her hair while taking care to keep her head and neck cool, Tegan felt so relaxed, but in her mind this also slightly reminded her of some times she rested on other girls kinda like this, -when she was really drunk or high at some parties. But this was, of course, different. Her mind flew back to the person who was nurturing and caressing her, then her thoughts flew to when they were holding each other in her dream. They were touching and talking in her dream... before Sara left her standing there.

 

Sara was a bit startled as she was woken from her light slumber by Brett gently knocking in the car door window on which her head was resting. She tiredly opened her eyes and looked first at his smiling face, almost content he managed to startle her even if lightly, then at her surroundings and down at Tegan still resting on her legs. She was asleep. And her fever seemed to have gone almost completely.

 

"Maybe she stayed in the water for to long... i don't know. That combined with her drinking them cold beers pretty fast last night..." Brett was saying as they were standing around their makeshift camp with plastic cups of warm coffee in their hands.

"Yeah, i think she did drink them pretty fast." Ryan added.  
They were almost all there, except for Rob and Larisa who went to take a early morning swim in the pretty cold ocean.

"Yeah and look at what those 2 are doing, they don't seem fazed by this sort of thing at all." Carmen pointed out with a ironic chuckle.

"What - I do this too, sometimes." Brett noted.

 

A bit later on, Carmen and Sara were taking a walk around the beach.

"What about you? Have you been having any more problems with _you know what_ lately? Um, how are things holding up?" Carmen asked a bit apprehensive while looking at the morning horizon and at the waves. Sara took a few seconds before replying.

"Umm, good i guess. I mean i haven't had any of those episodes in over a month." Sara said putting on a light smile, just a bit bothered and reflective, while tucking her hair behind her left ear with her hand. "It's kinda normal i suppose, y'know...? Not that is any real pattern to it or anything that i can predict even after all this years."

"And Tegan is dealing pretty good with it hm? I mean, from the last 2 times it happened..." Carmen noted.  
Sara almost immediately thought about the dreams the 27 year-old has been having. Those strange dreams... She couldn't quite bring herself to mention them to Carmen, or to anyone for that matter.  
"Oh, yeah. She's been great so far."  
\---

Tegan woke up and carefully walked out of the pickup truck, with the colorful blanket still hanging on her shoulders and wrapped around her body.

"Hey, look who's finally up. How are you feeling Tee?" Ryan asked her as she got to where the others were sitting, just playing some cards. Then they all took a look at her, almost waiting for her reply.

"Like i need some coffee, fast. Other than that i'm pretty fine..."  
But Tegan didn't sit down just yet, her first thought made her scan the surroundings with her tired eyes for Sara, since she wasn't there with the rest of the people, but she was nowhere to be seen.

"I'll go heat up some coffee for you since i'm out anyway." Brooke said as she stood up.

"Um, thanks." Tegan noted with a light smile. Then she sat down on a small camping chair next to the others.

"Where's Carmen and Sara?" she asked tiredly.

"They are around here somewhere, -they went for a walk, like 15 minutes ago." Rob said.

"And don't worry, she didn't catch the fever from you. Or maybe she did." Brett added teasingly with a smirk.

"Oh shut up, you bum!" Tegan retorted jokingly.

"See, i told you man. Yey Tegan." Rob followed.

 

In less than 5 minutes Sara and Carmen came back. Of course they immediately checked on Tegan to see if she was feeling ok, especially Sara. Tegan was already missing her touch.

"Did you get any more sleep?" she asked her girlfriend with a sympathetic expression after she sat close to her, looking in to her noticeably red and tired eyes.

Sara gave her a cute light smile, and it seemed almost like she wanted to give her a kiss right then. "Yeah actually i did."  
Tegan took the blanket from her body and carefully placed it on Sara's back and over her shoulders, then leaned in to grab a soft fast kiss from her lips. The 30 year-old was already feeling a bit shy from this attention. But she knew her lips craved more kisses from Tegan just like Tegan from hers.

 

A bit over one hour later they all started packing up to head home.


	25. Chapter 25

"Hey Sare!" Tegan greeted with a warm smile after seeing her cute face through the laptop screen.

"Hi babe." the 30 year-old greeted back with her sweet light smile. They were skyping, -Tegan took the chance to call her from one of the band's 2 laptops just after their show at a venue in San Diego, since they had WiFi in the backstage area, and Sara was conveniently at home on her laptop. The young musician was pretty sure she would find her home at this hour, it was pretty late in the evening anyway.

"We just got off stage, and we are spending some few more minutes here in the backstage area."

"Cool!"  
"So, how was the show tonight?" Sara asked smilingly.

"It was pretty good. Lots of people actually came through." the 27 year-old replied. "It was nice to see that even here. And it seemed they really enjoyed the songs so... yeah, it was all good." she added.

"Great!" Sara voiced with a wide smile.

"So, next stop - Seattle." Tegan noted in the same manner.

"Yup. The best place. Aaand one of the best festivals here on the west coast." her girlfriend added.

"Damn freakin' right! And you know i can't wait to see you."

"Well it's just been less than 2 weeks... but yeah i kinda miss you too already." Sara said a bit retained. But Tegan knew how she was, and she knew she probably missed her just as much even though she didn't want to show it. Even if this wasn't in her character, _which it kinda was_ , Sara considered most of the time she had to act a bit more distant, cause of obvious reasons, to her at least.

"The downer is, that we have basically like a 3 days drive to Seattle... which nevertheless it would probably make the festival and the chance to see you even more exciting, -if i don't go crazy by then that is..." Tegan paused for a few seconds. "I think this would be probably like our longest drive from one show to another on this tour, i hope."

"Yeah, that is pretty crazy. You will get a feel for that open road life..." Sara voiced.

"Yeah..." Deep down Tegan knew it was probably a bit hard for Sara to say that, travelling being something the young artist could probably never do unfortunately. Another few seconds of silence followed.

"Anyway... So, um... how are you?" Tegan asked, - she kinda felt the need to ask that question every time they would get to talk since she went on tour, like almost every day, although she didn't, not to seem over-worried and weird.

"Oh, i'm good, you know... nothing really to report here. Keeping busy, chilling with Holiday..."

"Yeah i miss her too actually." Tegan added with a sweet chuckle.

"Let me... try to show you around this room, in the few minutes i have left..." she then said as she picked up the laptop and kinda circled with it around the backstage room where all the rest of the band were, and they all greeted her. The least Tegan could do was try to make her feel like she kinda was there with them, with her friends, in distant places.

Since that night at the beach Tegan didn't have those dreams connected to Sara, except for once, less than a week ago, when she had some alcohol _on board_ and she fell asleep pretty easy. But even in that dream she couldn't be with her. And not even a trace of Charlotte and Lisa, or even Sonia's spirit.

 

Finally, after almost 3 very long days of driving up north in the small tour bus they made it to their home city and the Bumbershoot music and arts festival. This was only one stop, be it a really important one, in the first leg of their US tour, so they couldn't really hang out there for more than one day even if it was their home town.  
For Tegan this was the 2nd time playing at this big festival, she played here with her first band too, 4 years ago, even if it was on a smaller, more _secluded_ stage. Well Spectrals were a more niche band. And now even more different from then, Cast The Sails were playing their set in the afternoon. Good thing it was a really beautiful, not to hot early September day. It was all kinda great actually, and felt so extraordinarily fulfilling, they even forgot all the tiredness from the road. It was special playing in front of their home crowd, with most of their friends and even some relatives coming to see them. They put on a great show, and with no technical problems. Ted took good care of that aspect. Some of them, including Tegan, were stoked with the whole crowd reaction, even after they finished their almost 1 hour set.  
Congratulating voices around them and even some more cheers could be heard after they got off stage, but for Tegan they were all kinda blurred out, almost like she had some sort of tunnel vision, for a moment, just before getting to the clearest thing out there and almost lifting her off her feet in to a tight hug. Of course Sara put her arms around her too, and let out a soft and a bit surprised light laugh seeing her girlfriend so excited. She could barely let out a light " _Hey_ " after that because Tegan almost immediately connected their lips and continued to give her a series of somewhat burning but still tender kisses. Tegan got to hang with her even before their show, but now it was like a wave of enthusiasm that hit her, and in this moment she didn't really care about anyone else around her.

"Hey, you." she quietly voiced with a soft and cute smile just in between their 2nd and 3rd kiss while holding Sara by her waist.

Sara congratulated them on their fantastic concert too. It was nice to see and hear the manifestation of the songs she got to witness the band rehears in their crude form in their garage and even the recording process of some of them not to long ago, being played live like this.

After they all hang around more on the festival grounds almost until it started to get dark, giving some interviews and catching some glimpses of other acts of the day, the people from the band together with their tour manager Chad, Ted, Sara and Brooke went to a close by eatery to have a nice dinner.

Since the night was still young and the band didn't have any other stuff to take care of until tomorrow they all decided to make a stop at that Elysian bar on 2nd Ave, Brooke's work place. And even if she wasn't working tonight, she did help make some great cocktails for them at the bar. And after some beers too and about a hour and a half needless say most of them were pretty tipsy. At least the band guys would get to sleep in their own home beds tonight. As all the people from the group finally went their own way, Tegan was looking forward to spend the rest of the night with Sara.  
It was already 11 PM when the cab dropped them at her apartment. Tegan wasn't really feeling drunk pretty much at all by now, but she kinda noticed the 30 year-old was a bit more hazy.

"Want me to help you get up the stairs?" she mentioned jokingly as they got in the apartment building. She gave Sara a teasing look as she waited for her retort.

"Oh shut up! -you know i'm not drunk." her girlfriend threw her a playfully annoyed look, lightly slapping her shoulder. Tegan thought she was so cute.

"Tegan, oh my god! What are you doing!?" she then asked kinda surprised but kinda rhetorically, not being able to hold back a wide smile as the 27 year-old literally swept her off her feet and cradled her carefully up the steps. Tegan just couldn't help it.

"Hey, don't make me lose my balance here. I don't think that would be good for either of us... Besides, i did this before, remember?" she said looking at her with a adorable expression. Sara somewhat shyly held back from saying anything, until quietly thanking Tegan after putting her down.  
Tegan didn't really want to put her down then, but she had to as they got in front of the door because Sara had to get her key out and open it. For a short moment as her girlfriend was opening the door Tegan couldn't help to look at her enticing bum and legs kinda well complimented by those tight black jeans. After they both stepped inside and turned on the light they gave each other a pretty short but lustful kiss in the small hallway.

"Mm, i have to feed Holiday." Sara said as she broke away from the kiss still with a smile on her lips and with her palm still softly tracing on Tegan's chest. Tegan just looked at her as she took her leather jacket off and headed in to the kitchen, the taste and feel of her lips still lingering on hers.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry i didn't post this faster. I wanted to post this much sooner. I know this one is a bit short too.

Tegan was feeling a bit tired, they did have quite a busy day. But she could shake that off for now pretty easy, at almost 28 she was still pretty much young, and the temptation of making love to her sexy girlfriend tonight was invigorating. And pretty clearly Sara really wanted it too...

"Woow. Okay..." Tegan said kinda surprised as she walked in to Sara's bedroom. "And i thought _i_ was the romantic." she noted after seeing the setup: some mood candles placed tediously on the floor in the 2 far corners of the room and on the bedside table together with some aromatic candles too, with the nightstand lamp covered with a small silky drape to add to the dim light atmosphere of the room. Then her eyes flew pretty fast on Sara who was standing beside the bed and who was now dressed down just in a light and lose white t-shirt and from what Tegan could tell probably some shorts style panties who were barely visible under the t-shirt.

"I must say, i m _really_ impressed." the young musician pointed out with a sweet smile tugging at her lips. No past girlfriend had even done something quite like this for her before, and she was feeling even a bit nervous. -For a moment. Then Sara got close to her and softly connected their lips in a light but sensual kiss.

"Glad i can impress you." she said after delicately parting their lips with a smile. She took Tegan's right palm in her own then she put her other hand over it too as she lifted it up to her face and gave some tender kisses on her fingers and knuckles. After she let Tegan's hand back down the 27 year-old's hands went back on her waist and slowly wondered down to her hips and butt. Now their chests were touching too, Tegan feeling a bit overdressed that she was still in her normal _touring_ clothes and she was the one still with a bra on. While feeling Sara's now more accentuated breaths against her own chest they kissed again, now using their tongues too. As they eventually broke from the kiss with Tegan lustful short tug at her enticing girlfriend's bottom lip, she lifted Sara up by her relaxed thighs as she gave in to it and put her legs around her waist. Their lips couldn't stay parted for to long as they kissed even in the very slow couple of steps from the door to the bed, before Tegan carefully laid her down on it.

"One sec." the younger woman voiced before pulling back from her arms to stand up in front of the bed and waste no time in taking her t-shirt off, then her pants. Sara took that short time to adjust better on the bed by moving a bit back towards the headboard so that she could rest her back on a pillow as she smilingly watched Tegan shed herself of her clothes. She couldn't help to let out a soft giggle as her girlfriend almost lost her balance in her slight rush to get out of her pants. Tegan heard her and had to let out a light chuckle too.  
Before she jumped in bed with her, Tegan had to stop for a brief moment to kinda take in again the beautiful sight in front of her that was her smiling girlfriend. Even she was a bit surprised how much she missed everything about her in this short amount of time she was away.

"Are you gonna help me take this off too?" Sara then asked teasingly, lightly pulling suggestively on her white t at one shoulder. Not saying anything but giving her a big closed-lips smile the 27 year-old got next to her on the bed in her grey boyshort briefs and black bra and after giving her girlfriend a short kiss she helped her dispense of her light t-shirt.

"There you go..." Tegan said kinda seductively as she threw the t-shirt somewhere on the floor. Sara was now just in some lace trim boyshort panties with small purple dots that Tegan had never seen her in before, and the dim lights from the candles and lamp caressed and played so good on Sara's features, making Tegan almost get lost in them, already. She could never mind getting lost in this beauty though. She carefully positioned herself on top of the young artist, and started from her soft lips. With her left elbow propped on the bed and the other hand moving freely on Sara's waist, hip and ribs she steadily moved her mouth down to her neck and collar area. Sara's breaths and her pleased light moans were music to her ears. Well, they were light for now, Tegan was planing to change that. She slightly shifted her weight so she could move down to her aroused girlfriend's inviting breasts.

"I bet..." Tegan voiced seductively between delicate and teasing pecks. "that they... -missed me too." she continued as she tediously caressed the sides and base of her breasts with her hands and slightly pushing them up as she kissed her chest in between and just above her hardening nipples.

"Mmm... yes." the 30 year-old noted with a wide smile before biting her bottom lip again and closing her eyes completely. She opened them again just shortly after, not feeling Tegan's soft warm lips on her chest, just as she was getting more turned on.

"Let me get this off." the girl on top said as she took off her bra too and dispensed of it somewhere on the nightstand. Sara had that look on her face like kinda' telling Tegan she was being a tease, the 27 year-old knew it too and gave her a playful smirk, them her sight went back on her girlfriend's perky breasts. And through some more delicate kisses she went back at pleasing her by playing with her nipples tenderly and even roughly, using her mouth in all kinds of different ways that Sara approved of with some sweet moans.  
Sara's hands all over her upper body, fingers sometimes pushing in her skin rather strong, confident she didn't have big nails, and her aroused moves of her core and hips made it even more easy for Tegan to continue to get lost in her. She wanted to cherish her and this night as much as she could, and she was barely getting started.

"Uhh god, Tegan..." the young artist let out some words of satisfaction in that raspy yet almost juvenile voice through some strong breaths. "Yeah... so good babe."

Tegan couldn't wait to go down on her and hear more _familiar_ sharp notes and pleasured moans from that voice, that she knew she would cause.

"I love you so much baby." Sara said in one breath with her eyes shut closed.

"I love you too Sare."

\-------

After that pretty amazing night Tegan didn't have to worry about waking up too early, but she did wake up, as usual, before Sara. She didn't want to get out of bed just yet, she wanted to relish few more minutes next to the beautiful brunette on the ruffled white sheets, watching her as she slept peacefully. Sara's back was turned to her so she softly kissed her on the shoulder blade area and then rested her head on her pillow, lightly nuzzling her face in to her smooth hair. The young artist didn't even flinch. Tegan's mind didn't chose quite the right time to remind herself that she will be sleeping in the tour bus, alone, for the next 3 weeks or so, and she almost let out a sigh in the back of Sara's neck. She didn't want to wake her up yet.  
Eventually she got up, grabbed her clothes and her phone and went in to the kitchen to make some coffee.  
\---

"Hey... morning sunshine." Tegan said with a cute smile as she walked in to the bedroom and eyed Sara who was now semi-awake and just propping her back on the soft headboard.

"Morning." the 30 year-old voiced with a smile forming on her lips as the young musician got close and leaned in for a kiss.

"I made coffee."

"Mm, i can tell from here." Sara said as Tegan went to the window to roll up the shades. The slightest smell of coffee coming from the kitchen was mixing well with the trace of smell from the aromatic candles still present in the air from last night.

"Did you sleep well? I know i did." Tegan asked with a soft smile as she walked back and sat on the edge of the bed next to her, and without waiting for a answer, connected their lips again in to a more sensual kiss. Sara gave a light hum in to the kiss.

"Yeah, -i'm sure you could tell." she replied as she bit her bottom lip while looking in to her girlfriend's eyes teasingly.

"I don't have to meet the guys too soon... so there is time for breakfast in bed, -if you desire, m'lady."

__________

A bit later on in the day Cast the Sails had a radio show interview and some more press stuff to do in their home city and then they had to be on the road again to their next show. They hang out more throughout the afternoon downtown and at the festival grounds together with Sara and Brooke. Bumbershoot was a festival for all kind of arts, so Sara was interested and pretty much loved it. Especially that she got to be with her friends and Tegan. But nevertheless in a short time they had to say goodbye again.

________

The beautiful Seattle with all its tall buildings and the imposing Space Needle was slowly getting more and more small and distant through the eyes of Tegan who was looking reflectively from one of the windows of the small tour bus as it was rolling on. Her thoughts wondered to Sara again, the bitter-sweet goodbye kiss and the adorable _"I love you"_ she sweetly voiced to her before she got on the bus.  
_Even if it probably seemed less likely, maybe she was holding back tears... just like her._


	27. Chapter 27

"Pretty long time coming, but you finally pulled it through." Lindsey said, with her eyes wondering on the wall in front of her. The spacious room walls were tastefully dotted with simple lights kinda minimally arranged in a art-deco way, highlighting many different size frames that contained some diverse paintings and drawings, and even some photos.

"You mean, _we_ pulled it through." Sara pointed out to her friend with a honest smile. "You know i couldn't have done this without you."

"Aww, you probably could. With your well known determination..." Lindsey noted, turning her smiling face to look at her now.

"She doesn't know how to take a compliment this one." Lindsey's girlfriend Claire that was standing right beside them added with a playful smirk. They all were enjoying a glass of wine and admiring Sara's work.

"Well i mean, i was barely even here. I did help you find and rent this space though." Lindsey continued, showing she can take a bit of credit.

On some parts of the walls there were even some big, stretched out abstract compositions that took Sara many days to finish in her painting studio.

 

"Ey! So whatchu think?" the young artist kinda snuck up on Tegan who was admiring some of the more simple ink and water color paintings and drawings hanging on another wall. She was there, together with all the rest of the friends from the band too.

"I think _Wow_. This are all so interesting. It's another thing seeing them all together like this... is kinda surreal." Tegan said, still looking at one of the drawings, with Sara behind her putting her hands around her waist and her chin on her right shoulder.  
"I m so proud of you." she voiced after few more seconds of just taking in the framed drawings in front of her and her girlfriend's proximity and touch. Then she turned around to face her and they wasted no time in letting their lips connect. They wanted to kiss even more immediately after that, but Sara kinda had to leave more for later, since she was the host and there were plenty of people around. Not that she really had to mingle with anyone else at this moment. Tegan let i show through her teasing smile that she wanted to protest the distance of their lips and the fact that inevitably she had to share Sara's attention with many other people tonight. But for now she still had her right close to her.

"I hope you didn't expect this to be like, more formal." Sara noted kinda jokingly, looking at Tegan with a cute smile.

"Formal? Me? Honestly i could deal with less _formal_ , after just coming off tour and all." the 28 year-old pointed out sarcastically.

Tegan had just turned 28 while she was still on the first part of the tour with her band so she kinda had to celebrate it on the road. It wouldn't be more than a few weeks before they would have to go back at it, to tour the rest of the US and Canada while opening for other, bigger bands. Then there was the prospect of even some shows in Europe, and maybe even Japan and Malaysia.

A bit later on in to the evening, as Tegan was sipping on some wine and looking at some of the other paintings and drawings while Sara was busy tending to some of the guests that came to see her exposition, she noticed in one of the water and acrylic paintings some odd and at first mysterious reminder of something she couldn't put her finger on straight away. Then she noticed the theme, even though pretty abstract, kinda resembled a landscape of some beach shoreline with some woods close in the background that kinda reminded her of something, -of her strange dreams. There was even something resembling some kind of bird on the top part. Maybe she was reading too much in to it. Then again, many of Sara's paintings and drawings here seemed to have kind' of a mystical vibe... how could it not be in her nature.

Tegan didn't witness any more _episodes_ like that with Sara, the ones caused by the so called indian curse; but she thought the 30 year-old maybe had gone through some while she was away and she just didn't want to let her know about them. She didn't notice any change in Sara's health or general mood.

 

The whole evening was pretty fun and interesting. The event was great, just like most of the company there, and the 2nd part of the night would be even more fun for Tegan as she drove a really well spirited and slightly drunk Sara home, and got to make love to the _person of the day_.

_________

"Too bad Lindsey and Claire had to head back to LA so fast." Tegan was saying as she and Sara were getting ready to leave the apartment the next morning. They were already dressed to go out, with Sara putting on a grey oversize denim jacket, that was actually Tegan's. It looked as good one her just as it would on Tegan.

"Well as much as i wanted them to stay more, they had to head home this morning. I guess they are pretty busy this days." Sara said as she was waiting for Tegan to tie up the laces to her black boots.

"Claire seemed pretty cool, -for a journalist." her girlfriend noted.

"Online reporter." Sara emphasized with a light smile. "She's not one of those *Hollywood press* writers, together with her girlfriend Lindsey the paparazzo." she added jokingly.

 

As they were driving along in Tegan's car to a diner in the city the young musician thought it would be a good time as any to bring up something.  
"So, you know i mentioned i told my mom about you when we stopped in Portland for our show there."

"Yeah, i remember." Sara said.

"Well, you're probably gonna be a bit mad at me that i didn't get to tell you this then, but i kinda mentioned to my mom about your exposition thing the other day... and she said she wanted to come see it, and meet you." Tegan said with her reserved lopsided smile. "So i kinda told her she should come by tomorrow, - figured we would be less busy and less hangover by then."

"Oh." Sara was a bit taken by surprise. "Why would i be mad at you? It's cool, i can't wait to meet her." she gave her girlfriend a light reassuring smile.

They arrived at the diner on the west side of town at bit later on to have some coffee and breakfast with Ted and Ryan.

After that Tegan drove Sara to her warehouse/workshop so she could check on the newest clothes and some orders. From there they would head back at the apartment for a few hours then they would grab a cab to go to Ryan's house, for some kind of after-party for last night's event. It would be just the _usual gang_ there.

 

Once there Tegan kinda remembered how much she missed this place, the place where they jammed and rehearsed, not to mention recorded most of the album. And without even really noticing, she got a bit carried away and she steadily got pretty inebriated by the time they eventually had to head back home.  
Strange thing, while they were there at the house she even thought she saw Ryan trying to flirt with Sara... so what if maybe Sara was still in to guys... She could have swore that that's what he was doing at least once when she wasn't paying attention to her, and it wasn't cool. Tegan kinda noticed this at last night's exposition too, but she didn't really make much of it then.  
She chose not to ask Sara anything about it, -maybe it was just the alcohol playing out.

__________

_"They don't do damage to their forests. We do.  
"A tribute? That's what my daughter might be to them? Some kind of, of tribute?!"_

_Tegan suddenly recognized the place she was in, and that voice..._

_"Maybe my sudden illness and... and death was also a part of the consequence of that curse. Sometimes i can't help to think that maybe it was..."_

_And the warmth emanating from Sonia's body was present too, in that otherwise pretty cold forest, even though it didn't seem quite as strong as Tegan could remember from the first time she met her. She seemed a bit _lost_._

_"But here you are, again." the ghostly woman said as she managed to put on a smile after she set her sight on Tegan.  
"I don't know why you come back here." her face kinda turned sad again._

_"I, -I don't know either." Tegan voiced hesitantly._

_"You know, i didn't manage to find her any more since last time we met here."_

_Tegan didn't know what to say or think. Maybe Sonia was implying _she_ had a blame in that? Maybe she did have something to do with it, or something had _shifted_ somehow._

_"Not that i _did_ find her often."  
"Maybe you can help me find her this time."_

_Tegan thought for a few second before saying what she thought she should probably mention._  
_"You know, i did see her here after that. I even got to hold her. We didn't get to talk much though."_  
_She continued as they started moving forward among the imposing trees._  
_"I remember she said something about, the trees, calling her..." she added somewhat hesitantly, while still feeling Sonia's gaze on her._

_"I don't know what they want with her, but i m her mother and i don't see why she would _belong_ with them."_

_This honest and somewhat searching words sparked a thought in Tegan's mind.  
"So, if she is under the influence of this, curse, - since you are like, a spirit too, the spirit of her mother, - don't you have some kind of say in this? It seems all _this_ somehow has to do with some spirit world." she let the thought flow in to words a bit cautious as it was still trying to make sense in her head._

_Sonia didn't take long to answer, still saddened, even though she had a light smile on her face.  
"Oh, but i tried, believe me. I still do. But the wheels were already set in motion long before i could have a say. Do you think i like seeing her suffer like that...?"_

_"There, -there must be something we can do..." Tegan said somewhat instinctively and a bit lost._

_"Wait, i think i can sense her close." Sonia voiced.  
"Sara!? Come, i think i saw her there!" she hurried her pace forward, but Tegan didn't manage to actually see anything in the distance among the trees._

_"I don't see anything. Wait up!"_

_Sonia's ghostly silhouette was distancing more and more. Tegan could hear her own heart beating and her strong breaths, even though she didn't actually get to run much at all. She heard another blurred call of Sara's name from Sonia...*_

She woke up in her bed with the same heavy breathing. It was still dark outside. Tegan looked around more in the room as her eyes adjusted to the visibility provided by the moon and street lights outside. Sara was still sound asleep next to her. She picked up her phone, -it was 4:38 AM.


	28. Chapter 28

Tegan managed to get some more sleep, but in that morning she was still thinking about her encounter with the spirit of Sara's mother in her dream. She thought it definitely had to mean something, that it was really more than a dream somehow.  
And now _her_ mom was about to come over a bit later today, and meet Sara for the first time. This was definitely not the right time to tell Sara about her dream.

\-------

"Ok, ready to go bae?" Tegan asked as she was waiting for her girlfriend to finish her last minute freshen up in the bathroom. A moment after that Sara came out and walked in the hallway next to her.

"All set." the 30 year-old said with a casual smile. Tegan could tell she was already a bit nervous.

"You look great, don't worry."  
Sara was dressed in a elegant white button up shirt and some black jeans, and her usual black leather jacket, while Tegan had on a brown light jacket over a black and white striped shirt mixed with some dark grey jeans.

"Thanks." Sara smiled as she leaned in for a fast kiss.  
"You look really good too."

They left for the train station to pick up Lucinda, Tegan's mother. From there they would drive back at the apartment, then head out in town to have some lunch together and visit Sara's art exposition that would be open for almost a week more.

\-----

"Hey mom!" Tegan greeted as they walked over to the elderly woman who had probably just got off the train. "Um, how was the trip?" she casually asked as they gave each other a hug.

"Heey Tegan."  
"Well quite pleasant and relaxing. Train travel is something i actually look forward to." Tegan's mother said smilingly while giving her daughter a fast look-over then her sight went to Sara who was standing close to them with a beautiful bouquet of flowers in her hands.

"So, mom... she is Sara." Tegan said with a wide smile.

"Hey mrs. Quin. So nice to finally make your acquaintance! Tegan has told me so much about you." Sara greeted the 53 year-old woman, trying her best not to seem nervous as she handed her the flowers. Well a bit of nervousness was normal i guess.

"Oh god, this are beautiful! Thank you so much darling." Lucinda noted while taking in the scent of the flowers before handing the bouquet to Tegan to hold. "So nice to meet you dear. Well Tegan didn't exactly get to tell me much about _you_." she added with her smile getting even bigger as she gave Sara a formal hug.  
At first glance she seemed quite different from her daughter in some few aspects; her eyes were not brown, but green; her hair was a much lighter shade of brown, and her clothes didn't seem to have anything black. But Sara could notice pretty fast the physical and personality resemblance to Tegan.

After they drove back to Sara's apartment to drop off the flowers and Lucinda's book she brought with her, and show her the place a bit and introduce her to their cat Holiday, they headed back in to town.

Over lunch Lucinda was saying how she was impressed with Sara's DIY clothes thing, how she started it all alone and brought it to this point. Tegan's mother was working in PR for a well established work recruitment agency, and Sara hoped she could read art at least half as good as she could read people. Needless to say she kinda wanted her to be impressed with her art exhibition too. Firstly cause she was Tegan's mother.  
Before coming to see them Tegan had kinda given her mother some pointers no to ask much about Sara's parents. She did tell her about where things were standing on that matter, but she didn't tell her about her girlfriend's mysterious health problems.

"And does your father ever visit you here on the west coast... or do you visit him...?" Lucinda casually asked Sara while they were at the table conversating and enjoying their lunch.

"Mom, i told you they don't really get along that good." Tegan lightly pointed out, acting a bit protective.

"But she is his only child; i kinda know how that is." she said while giving Tegan a look. "And considering their situation..."

"Um, -it's okay really. I never visited him in Montreal since he left... and he never visited here. But we do talk quite often, skype and all." Sara felt she did want to avoid the subject. She kinda dreaded this type of conversation. But her father did want to keep in touch alot, and they would talk, about once every week, sometimes even more often, and Sara didn't actually mind it because she did miss him sometimes and appreciated his concern.

 

After leaving the restaurant they headed to the place where Sara had her exposition.  
Sara observed patiently and a bit tense Lucinda as she was admiring her paintings and drawings that hang on the walls of the gallery space. It was always exciting but also kinda nerve-racking seeing other people analyse her art work because she put so much of her self and her feelings in it; especially now that it was Tegan's mother who got to see it. She did give some light arguments here and there, mostly for the sake of conversation; so did Tegan.

"Some of this paintings seem pretty mystical... even a bit dark, for someone so adorable and jovial like you." Lucinda noted with a casual sympathy.

"Well, yeah; -i guess they kinda are. And thanks..." Sara replied thoughtfully.

"Yeah i was kinda scared when i saw them too." Tegan joked.

"Oh she knows i didn't mean it like that." Lucinda said to her daughter and warmly smiled at Sara. "Besides, it's no surprise Tegan would be in to someone with a bit of a dark side." she added somewhat jokingly. Tegan who was a bit further away from them rolled her eyes to that observation.

"Well, she was actually inspiration for some of the drawings and paintings here, more or less." Sara noted with a smile as her eyes met Tegan's.

\-------

"So, i've known you just for a few hours and i can already tell you are such a joy." Lucinda was saying as they were driving back to the apartment. "So i wonder how come Tegan only told me about you just a few weeks ago, since i understand you've been together for a few months now; i'm guessing pretty much all summer."  
Sara who was in the back seat didn't really know what to reply to that.  
Before she could voice anything Tegan said jokingly: "You know me, i didn't want to brag."

Sara nervously cleared her throat as she held back a chuckle. "Well, that's, sweet."

"And i guess i was just being cautious, after my last relationship and all." Tegan probably saved her from any more explaining.

 

Less than a couple of hours later they said their goodbyes as Lucinda left back for her home in Portland.

\-----  
"Your mom is really cool, and nice." Sara said as they were driving back home in the early evening from the train station. "And i guess i'm not wrong to say you probably got your edge from your dad."

"Hmm, well i can't wait for you to meet him too. Or maybe i can meet your dad, someday."

"Yeah... maybe." the 30 year-old voiced quietly. Tegan's smile kinda faded.

"Hey, -If it wasn't already pretty clear, my mom was kinda impressed with you. Just like i knew she would." she pointed out complimentary with her smile returning right back, and wanting to see one from Sara too. Her girlfriend did give her a really cute smile as she looked at her and in to her eyes, then she leaned in closer to her seat to grab a sweet kiss from her lips.

"Thanks. For not telling her, or anyone about my _problem_."

"Yeah... um, sure." Tegan voiced and nodded lightly, looking straight ahead at the road.


	29. Chapter 29

Another day had passed and Tegan still hadn't brought herself to tell Sara about seeing her mother again in her dream. A part of her didn't actually want to tell her... she was afraid this will make things more weird and possibly worst between them somehow. So she thought to talk about it to the only person she knew she actually could.  
Two days after her mother came to visit Tegan met with Carmen at a nice coffee shop in the afternoon, to talk, just the 2 of them.  
Carmen figured it would probably not be just about band stuff.  
Tegan asked her if she knew anything about Sara not being able to head out too far away from the place where she was born, Vancouver, how the curse restricted her in that matter.

"Well i've only known her for about 2 years, and she did tell me about this thing too, but like, i never actually got to see the possible effects of it... because we never really got to travel together anywhere."  
"Like, i don't doubt her, but is something really hard to actually believe or comprehend..."  
"You would think that is something just in her head, something she maybe made herself to believe; but then you get to know that Sara is one of the most sane and rational people out there; and you get to see some of her sudden and apparently unexplained health shifts."

"Yeah..." Tegan voiced kinda sad.

"You think we should push her to go on a long trip with us just to see what happens?" Carmen asked while taking another sip of her coffee.

"I don't know." Tegan said somewhat dismissively.

"Damn weird curse, eh?" Carmen noted lightly ironic. They both knew it was pretty damn serious for Sara though.

"You wana know a really weird thing?" Tegan said looking down at her coffee. "Like, just before we started recording the album i kinda had this strange dream, in which i saw Sara's mother. But like in a palpable spirit form; and i didn't even know how she looked like before then."  
Carmen looked at her confused and didn't know what to say.  
"Well, actually i think i had 2 more dreams before this that were somehow tied to it too, but anyway. So yeah, the dreams were tied to Sara in a weird, mysterious way and apparently the ghost of her mother was in them too... And i say _them_ because i just met and talked to her again in another one, just 3 days ago."

"Wow; -Okay, hold on. So you're telling me it was actually Sara's mother that appeared in your dreams somehow; before you knew how she looked like?" Carmen voiced, pretty baffled.

"I didn't even know almost anything about her; but Sara kinda confirmed too that that was how she looked like just before her illness took over, after i told her about the first dream in which i met her."

"Um, what was her reaction to that?" Carmen asked a bit confused.

"Well of course it was really hard for her to believe at first, and she was a bit sad..."  
"I didn't tell her about the last one though. I don't know if i should."

"Why? Did something bad happened in it? And her name is Sonia right? I think Sara probably told me that." Carmen asked with a brow perked.

"Um, yes. And no, to your first question. It's just that i don't want to risk upsetting her, y'know?"

"So, um, what exactly does she do or want in your dreams?"

Tegan started to tell her all about it the best she could. It was kinda liberating to confide in someone that wouldn't find this all that odd.

Eventually after all that conversation they left the coffee shop. Carmen headed home, and Tegan thought to visit Sara at her warehouse in Bellevue where she knew the young artist probably was at this hour. But Sara didn't answer her call and after a 2nd call with no reply she thought to phone Alice, a employee and a friend of Sara who was working at the warehouse.

"She said she would head home; she was starting to feel kinda sick all of a sudden, so she called a cab." Alice said.

"Oh..." Tegan voiced quietly.

"I know she has some health issues... i think i've seen her like this once before. You said she is not answering your calls?"

After finding out that she left about 40 minutes ago and ending the conversation Tegan headed straight for Sara's apartment. She just prayed something really bad didn't happen to her, since she didn't even answer her phone.

As she got up to the apartment she opened the door with her own key and first thing she noticed as she took of her shoes was that the TV was running, apparently on some music channel. Tegan walked in through the living room but no one was there. Then she immediately went to Sara's room. There she found the 30 year-old almost curled up resting with her head down near a wall on the wooden floor, -not even in her bed, Holiday standing beside her. Sara barely lifted her head when she saw the door open and Tegan could tell what kind of state she was in.

"Hey..." the young musician softly voiced as she walked over and knelled down next to her. "Are you okay?" she said as she rested one hand on her shoulder.

Despite of her obvious discomfort Sara could bring herself to show a light smile as she looked at her girlfriend. "No, -i feel like shit."

"Umm, do you want me to leave you alone, for a while?" Tegan asked caringly.

"No." Sara voiced through somewhat heavy breaths.

"Okay..." Tegan noted before moving to sit besides her on the floor. Sara was in alot of pain, but Tegan was probably the one more scared, even if she tried her best to hide it.

"I didn't mean not to answer your calls. Is just that, i couldn't at that point." Before Sara could even finish forcing that sentence out Tegan already had her palm in between hers, and moved it to her, lightly rubbing the top of it.

"It's okay. Don't worry." Tegan said after softly kissing the top of her palm and knuckles.  
"We will just get through this, -you and me, okay?"  
"And Holiday too." Tegan added as she looked at the grey cat who was still close by.  
"If you need anything just let me know, and i will get it for you."

"Thanks." Sara gave her a light smile. Then she rested her head back on her knees. Tegan leaned in closer to her as she put one hand on her back and gave her a soothing kiss on top of her head. Then with her other hand she found Sara's palm again and interlaced her fingers through hers.  
The young musician got lost in her thoughts a bit, there on the floor, thinking of what she could say or do to make things somehow better. She couldn't even tell if Sara was crying or not, there with her face hidden in her knees and her body shaking from time to time and agitated from the heavy and unsteady breathing. Sometimes she would let out some light, discomforting whimper through her breaths, causing Tegan to snuggle more in to her, wanting to appease her.  
Tegan was lightly pulled out of her thoughts by Holiday jumping up on the bed next to them.

"Hey Sare, you want to get in bed?" the 28 year-old asked.  
"Okay let's get you in bed." she didn't wait for a reply. "Can you stand up babe?"  
Sara finally lifted her head and revealed her pale face and pained, almost dead eyes.

"Um, okay. I'll try."

Tegan got up first and carefully helped her girlfriend out. Sara didn't have to stand on her feet more than a few seconds as the bed was just there and Tegan eased her on to it, next to Holiday. The 30 year-old was dressed still in her town clothes, a light black and white striped t-shirt and black knee ripped skinny jeans.

"You got this lovable ball of fur to keep you cozy and safe too." she pointed out, to lighten the mood a bit, at least in her mind.

"Hey baby!" Sara softly voiced with her face close to the cat. "I bet you're sick seeing me like this too, huh." Holiday turned her head to look at her with her usual calm expression. Before Sara could even form a smile another jolt of pulsating pain resonated through her head and seemingly through her whole body, making her grab the nearest pillow, pull it to her chest and curl up tighter in discomfort. Through that numbing pain she barely felt Tegan's arm move over her body to comfort her.

"It's okay baby; -just breath with me." she said. Then her hand started soothingly massage her ribs and shoulder area, followed by sensitive kisses on her neck and shoulder.  
As she slightly lifted her face up from another delicate kiss Tegan caught sight of the small painkillers medication bottle standing on the nightstand on Sara's side of the bed.

"Hey babe, you want more of those pills?"

"Mhm." Sara briefly opened her eyes to look at the bottle in front of her.

"Ok, be right back." Tegan said after giving her a soft kiss on the temple, then she got out of bed to head to the kitchen.  
She came back shortly after with a glass of water.

"Hm, you are so cold. You're like a ghost." the 28 year-old voiced worriedly as she helped Sara get her body up for a bit so she could take 2 painkillers with the water. She was looking really sick, with her pale skin and numb limbs.

"How many of this did you already take?" She asked after her girlfriend finished taking the pills.

"Just 2."

"Um, is it always like this?" Tegan questioned concerned.

"Uh, alot of times; yeah." Sara said as she rested her head back on the bed.

Tegan put the empty glass on the nightstand. "I will get you a sweatshirt or something. And a blanket."

She searched through Sara's closet and she found pretty fast a simple grey light sweater.

"Can you please get me my inhaler too? Is right there on the table." Sara voiced as she turned on the other side, together with the pillow that she still held closely to her body.  
Tegan took the asthma inhaler from the small bedroom table and gave it to her, and Sara didn't waste much time in using it. Her girlfriend patiently waited on the edge of the bed for her to take in a few more deep breaths, then she caringly helped her up again so she could put the sweater over her body.

"There you go!" Tegan noted smiling as she patiently did most of the work in pulling the sweater on her weak frame. Her smile kinda faded as she looked at her face; Sara looking like she was just about to faint, or maybe fall asleep. The 28 year-old didn't know if this would be maybe for the best, or the worst. She let out a concerned sigh, before laying Sara down on a pillow and pulling the blanket over her body. Then she rested her head on a pillow right beside, facing her. Another pained light hum escaped through one of Sara's heavy breaths, making Tegan hurt more too.  
She reached with a had and tucked some lose strands of Sara's dark hair attentively behind her ear while giving her a soft smile, her palm then delicately lingering on the side of her face and jaw.  
"I will be right here through it all Sare. You can do whatever you want, squeeze my hand, pull my hair, kick me out of bed, anything. I will be right here." she said with tears threatening to fall from her eyes on to the white pillow, while looking in to her girlfriends frail, almost closed eyes.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yey, _and_ my 30th chapter! Oh well i didn't really think i would get to this. I hope someone is still reading; and some comments of any kind wouldn't hurt. Again, english is not my first language, so sorry for any mistakes.

The evening was already starting to set in when Sara slowly opened her eyes. Tegan's resting head was right in front of her, so close that her breaths were lightly tickling at her neck. She must have dozed off, just like her. The lingering pain had gone, even though some traces of it was still present in the form of some light migraines. Still lying there, she tried to recall some parts of how Tegan tried to help her cope with it all, having her girlfriend precious face right there beside her helping with that. But then Tegan moved her head slightly up and opened her eyes, looking right in to her own. Shorty after that a smile bloomed on her sweet face, to which Sara couldn't help to smile back.

"Hey." the 28 year-old voiced first.

"Hey."

"So i've fallen asleep huh?"

"I don't even know what the time is." Sara noted with a light smile.

Tegan slightly looked towards the window, then back in to Sara's eyes. "Eh, i don't really care what the time is."  
"So, how are you feeling?" she asked lightly.

"Mm, much better."

Immediately after that reply left her lips Tegan propped her body slightly up so she could move closer to her and give a soft kiss just where her neck meets her jaw.  
"Yeah?" she added with a cute smile, her face still kinda hovering above hers. Sara reflexively shifted her torso so she could face her now.

"Yeah. Thanks, -for sticking through all that with me." Sara was looking like she was just waiting for Tegan to move down and kiss her. And her smiling girlfriend did just that. Her lips felt so good on hers, that made her even ignore the headache and the soft tips of Tegan's hair that were slightly tickling her face and ear.

"Better get used to it." Tegan said after pulling from the short kiss; then she connected their lips again.  
"Well, except when i'm on tour, i guess." she added as she moved back on her pillow, her sight still lingering on Sara.

"I can tell you're not fully recovered. And anyway i think you should stay more in bed, to make sure right?"

"Um, i guess..." Sara voiced.

"Hm, hold that thought. I go change in to something more comfy, okay?"

"Okay."

After just a short while Tegan came back in the bedroom in a white t-shirt and some light blue shorts, and sat back in bed, pulling her pillow up so she could rest her back on it on the small headboard. Not quite content with her original resting position she shifted slightly, lowering her back more on the bed after putting a 2nd pillow under her head, all under Sara's watchful and slightly amused gaze. Tegan gave a light and quiet chuckle looking at her, before shifting on the pillows yet again. After finally being happy with her setup the 28 year-old motioned to Sara.  
"Come." she said looking at her with a smile.  
Sara moved over to her, giving her a sweet sensual kiss, before adjusting her body carefully so she could rest in Tegan's arms with her back and neck on her chest and their legs intertwine. Her girlfriend started giving her some soft and soothing pecks on the top of her ear and her temple, to which Sara couldn't help to smile contently.  
They just rested peacefully like this, just feeling each other's breaths.  
After a short while Tegan started lightly rubbing and pinching Sara's knuckles area.  
"I'm so glad you're okay; and that i get to hold you like this."

Sara let out a light, content sigh.  
"Me too."  
The young musician lowered her head so she could give two delicate kisses on the side of Sara's neck and just near the base of her ear, making her give out a subtle hum from the last one.

"I wish there was something more i could do. I just feel so helpless, y'know?" Tegan said mostly to herself. Sara kinda wanted to remind her that there was really nothing more she could do, but what was the point in that. Instead she turned her face to hers and gave her a soft light kiss on the lips.

"I know babe." she voiced with a warm smile.

__________

The next evening Tegan was driving with Sara home from a show they've just attended of some indie artists from San Francisco. The whole show was pretty laid back and private, and held in a small club, where they met up with plenty of other friends, including the Seattle based opening band. It was a well needed distraction and overall a great night out.

"Hey Sare... Um... i know is kinda weird to ask you this, but did you have any strange dreams lately, involving some forest or stuff like that?"  
The 30 year-old was looking kinda puzzled at her from the passenger seat.  
"Like that one you told me about when we first started dating, remember?"  
"Or maybe something involving or about your mom...?"

"No. No i haven't had any more dreams like that." Sara said a bit confused. "And my mom? Why would you mention my mom? Did you... think you saw her in other dreams again?"

"Well i didn't just _think_ i saw her and talked to her the first time around; -you actually agreed that it was actually her, after i described her to you remember?"

"You can never be certain though." Sara noted, not looking at her now.

"Sara; -i asked you this because yeah, i did encounter your mother again in a recent dream, or her spirit to be more precise or if you want to call it that. And i can be pretty certain it was her. I mean, how else would this make any sense? -think about it Sara."

"Well what kind of _sense_ does it make? You tell me Tegan." the 30 year-old said a bit impatiently and ironic.

"Come on, you know what i meant." her girlfriend replied promptly.

"And you know what _I_ meant, Tegan." Sara added, noticeably a bit more irritated.

"Look i don't know yet, ok? But is like i'm getting all this stuff, like some sort of signals in my dreams that i need to make sense of and connect somehow."  
"It's about you Sare. I don't know why is like this. Is not like this type of dreams are nothing new to me; cause they totally are, y'know?"

They both were quiet for several seconds, before Sara spoke calmly.  
"So, um, what did the ghost of my mother do or want in your dream this time, anyway?"

"Same thing as last time, i suppose; she was trying to find you again there, in that forest. Well not actually you, but like' a spirit version of you that seems to be lost in that forest."

"Huh. Well next time you... see her, ask her why she doesn't look for me in my dreams; why you can see her like this and i don't"

 

Thoughts like that kinda kept Sara from falling asleep that night. She was thinking that maybe Tegan was starting to believe she could help her and save her from the curse in her dreams somehow. This was starting to turn in to some kind of disillusion, that would probably end up hurting Tegan more than anything. She made a mental note to maybe research more in to the meaning of dreams, but she thought this definitely couldn't be a good thing.

\-------

The next morning Sara started to look up on the internet for some kind of meaning to dreams of this nature, but there were so many theories, and she didn't manage to find anything that would somehow relate specifically to Tegan's kind of dreams.

"So much stuff to look in to, huh." Tegan who was standing next to her on the sofa said.

"I'm starting to think that this was probably a bad idea." Sara noted with a light smile.

"Can you believe some of this stuff? -like that stuff about your life actually being someone else's dreamscape?" Tegan asked kinda vaguely, pointing out to some theory they lightly looked upon on the matter.

"Don't go all _mysterious_ on me now." Sara said jokingly.  
"What if you are maybe reading too much in to this dreams of yours?"  
"They make you think that you can help me, that you can somehow change things for me... but it might be just a painful illusion."

"What if is actually something there though? I m willing to take that chance, and i actually hope i get to have more of this revealing dreams."

"Tegan..." Sara voiced somewhat sad. "You are maybe too sensible to this kind of things." she almost regretted saying that.

"Hmm, maybe you are right. Maybe you need someone that doesn't know about your _paranormal_ problem all together."  
"Maybe a man, for a change of pace, that wouldn't be too _sensible_ about this thing. Maybe someone like Ryan, - he's cool and all, and i think he fancies you, since _he was_ probably flirting with you a few times, -or m i reading too much in to that too?" Tegan added in kind of a ironic tone, a bit stirred on.

"What?" Sara asked somewhat mad and perplexed.

"Well, m i?" Tegan insisted, waiting patiently for her girlfriend's reply.

"Uuff!" Sara rolled her eyes. "Maybe he _was_ playfully flirting with me a couple of times... but other than that when he would talk to me he mostly asked about my health problems and other stuff, in a friend kinda' way, -so yeah, you are probably reading too much in to that."  
"And i can't believe you just said all that."

"I bet that's like a weight lifted off your chest, huh." Tegan retorted.

"Is that what you think?" Sara asked hurt, and she was starting to get more mad now.

"Yeah, that you probably consider i'm like this clingy, broken little sensible thing that wants to make everything Ok." Tegan said without even noticing she was actually razing her voice.  
"And that you probably think Ryan flirting with you on every chance he gets is a ok thing. Me and him are in a band together for fuck sake."  
Sara was quiet for a few seconds, just taking in the things that Tegan said.

"You know what i think? That you should probably leave, right now." she said with a somewhat cold calmness.

Tegan looked at her a bit surprised at first, but then a irritated and kinda sarcastic smug grew on her face as she got up from the couch.  
"Fine. I will just need some few minutes to pack some things." she voiced as she turned her back and headed to her bedroom.  
\-----

After Tegan took just some of her clothes with her in a hand suitcase, together with her electric guitar, she drove off without saying another thing, not even where she was going to stay. Sara didn't even ask.  
Immediately after the 28 year-old left the apartment Sara started to shed the tears she held back for many minutes now as she headed and rested on the livingroom couch.  
She started to think that this was all her fault, and if this was somehow what she wanted, to push Tegan away?  
Maybe this would be for the best, somehow. She was used to pain, but this was a different type of pain, one she hadn't felt in years.


	31. Chapter 31

Tegan was standing in front of the apartment door, kinda hesitant to knock. She did it anyway.

"Hey Tegan." Ted greeted with a light smile after opening the door for her to get in.

"Hey." she greeted back as she walked in.  
"Thanks again for letting me crash here for a while."

"Sure, no problem."  
"Hm, i guess you've been drinking again?" Ted asked kinda casually. Tegan's posture and her slight lack of balance must have given it away. Or maybe it was the fact that it took almost 3 hours after calling to ask for the favor for her to actually get to his place. Anyway Ted knew her pretty good by now, they were friends for years.  
Tegan went straight to the living room and set her guitar case together with her suitcase somewhere near a wall and then just sat down on the couch. She laid back and started to run her palms through her hair frustrated, almost letting the tears that she strongly held back show.

"Hey..." Ted voiced as he sat on a living room chair near. "If you want to talk about it... i'm here for you. Okay?"

Tegan glared at him kinda sad but then a light smile formed on her lips. "Thanks Ted. You're a great friend."

"No problem. And if you need anything you can let me know whenever."  
"So... what happened, and how bad is it?" he added a bit reluctant.  
But there was nothing much she could really explain to him, even if she wanted.

____________

A 2nd day had passed and Tegan still hadn't talked to Sara after their stupid fight. She knew she was out of line with the things that she said, but for whatever reason she couldn't quite bring herself to apologize to Sara. Most likely it was her pride.  
Ted did talk to Sara, at least to let her know that Tegan was staying at his place. 

"You really should talk to her. Don't you think it already passed enough time? Instead of hanging around here and basically eating all my junk food."

"You really should eat more healthy, you know? Why do you have so much of this crap around anyway?" Tegan said from the couch, a bit ridiculous since she was the one eating from a bag of crispy cookies.

"Umm, apparently to feed you." Ted replied.  
"Look if you really care about her, and God knows you already told me how much you do, you should go and apologize to her. You know, before is too late. She's probably feeling shity about the whole thing too." _Oh if only Ted knew the whole situation._

\-------

Sara didn't feel like getting out of bed, but oh well, she had to anyway. If it wasn't for the fact that today was the day she had to pack up her art exposition and clear all the gallery space she rented she probably would have wasted more day time in bed, just like in the last 2 days since Tegan left. Throughout this couple of days she had ran the things that Tegan said many times in her head, trying to analyse them from different angles, but she still kinda blamed herself.

Even the remaining paintings at the gallery inevitably reminded her of Tegan, as she was in the process of taking them all down. And not only did they remind of her, but some also reminded Sara of their actual twisted situation.

"It actually feels kinda weird not having Tegan here." Carmen noted bluntly. She and her brother were there too, helping Sara out.

"Oh shut up." Sara said quietly to her as she was holding the ladder on which Carmen was standing to carefully reach and take down another of the higher placed paintings.

"What; it's true."  
"This would have been a great chance for you to call her and see if she wants to maybe come and talk." Carmen added.

Sara took a look at Ryan who was busy on the other side of the room taking some frames down. "I don't know." she replied with some uncertainty. Of course Sara told Carmen everything that happened with Tegan, including the stuff about Ryan. They didn't really fight because of him, but he was kind' of a small factor too.

A bit later on it was time to move one of the last, bigger paintings out and in to Ryan's van together with the others. Things were a bit awkward between him and Sara, and they barely talked throughout the whole clearing process. 

"Look, i really hope you and Tegan can work things out." he voiced to kinda clear the air while Carmen walked back inside the gallery space. "I mean, she really does care alot about you, and i hate to think that maybe i had a blame in this... I haven't talked to her, just so you know, -but i can try to maybe talk some sense in to her. Besides, she's a great asset to the band and a good friend too, and i wouldn't want to chance that." Ryan paused for a few seconds, looking at Sara with a sympathetic light smile. "But i mean, i will, if i had to."  
As he walked back in to the gallery Sara understood right then that he actually had some feelings for her, and that he maybe was hoping she would have some kind of feelings for him too...  
But she didn't. And besides, she still loved Tegan.

\---------

Later on that day Tegan thought to drive by Sara's exposition. She kinda knew that this would be the last day it would be displayed but she wasn't quite sure, and she wanted to see it one last time. And also she kinda hoped she would find Sara there.  
But when she got to the gallery place it was already empty and closed down.  
"Oh well..." Tegan sighed as she drove off.

_______

Sara was now home after first stopping by her art studio to drop off the paintings and drawings. Carmen suggested they should just go out after and maybe grab some drinks, but Sara didn't really feel like it. So instead her friend insisted to stay home with her, at least for a bit, to keep her some company, together with a bottle of red wine. Not to long after they got to the apartment Sara's phone rang. She looked at the caller and saw that it was Tegan.

"Hey, Tegan." she replied under Carmen watchful gaze.

"Hey."  
Sara eyed Carmen somewhat suggestively to kinda let her know she was being a bit annoying with her over-curiosity to hear the conversation. But nevertheless her friend didn't back off at all, she even came closer.

"So... uh look, i'm sorry i didn't call earlier. Can we meet somewhere and talk, maybe i come to your place...?" Tegan added.

"Um, sure. You can come by my place; to talk and all." Sara said a bit nervous, eyeing her curious friend again.

"Well i guess is time for me to leave then." Carmen said with a smile after the short phone conversation ended.

 

It didn't take long before Tegan got there.

"Hey." she greeted with a light smile.

"Hi." Sara quietly greeted back, then opened the door more. "Um, come in."

"I passed by the exhibition place today. I guess it was too late." Tegan voiced as she walked in the living room.

"You must have just missed me." Sara said following right behind her.

"Yeah, i guess so."  
"So, uh, how many pieces did you manage to sell in the end?" Tegan asked, standing there a bit awkward, not sure if she should sit yet or not.

"Not too many, i guess. Just 3 paintings, and 4 drawings." Sara replied, and then she sat down on a chair near the sofa.

"Oh; okay." Tegan said before sitting down too, on the couch.

"Sooo..." the young artist voiced lightly after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Uh, ok, so... look; I want to tell you i'm really sorry, for all those things that i said. I know i was probably out of line, and i m so sorry i handled the situation like that. Hell, half of those things i said you think of me are probably true anyway."

"I know i kinda acted wrong about the whole thing with the dreams too, so i'm sorry for that. But the thing is, it's just that i'm even more confused now and i'm kinda afraid for you, what this whole thing might be doing to you. Because, -because i care about you so much." Sara said a bit hesitantly.  
Tegan was a bit lost for words.  
"I wanted to call you too, to apologize. I guess i was afraid to do that too." the 30 year-old added kinda sad.

"No; -it's okay." Tegan voiced before moving herself closer to the edge of the sofa so she could reach out and take one of Sara's hands in her own and start reflexively stroking the top of it lightly with her index finger.  
"If you want to let me go i will understand, i guess; i won't stress you any more and i will back off; if that's what makes you more at ease and happy."  
"But i want to be with you, and i don't want to let you go for anything other than what you want, not cause of some mysterious dreams, not cause of Ryan, not for anything."  
Sara was almost reduced to tears while she was looking in to Tegan's kind and inviting eyes. Her girlfriend didn't have to say anything but Sara got up from the chair and made her way on to her lap and in to her arms.

"I want to be with you too, i feel so lucky to have someone like you." Sara said, suppressing her tears with a smile. Then she lightly moved some of Tegan's side bangs with her left hand slightly away from her face, and she looked shyly in to her eyes. She slowly connected their lips, then just as delicately pulled back after just about 3 seconds. But not for more than two breaths, as her girlfriend kinda took the initiative now as they started kissing again, alot more fervently and letting their hands roam all over each other.

"Mm; does that mean i should move back in, and leave Ted?" Tegan voiced with a playful smirk after that blissful kiss, hopefully one of many to come.

"I guess you should break it to him gently." Sara said sarcastically with a cute and seductive smile.  
"Uh, you want some wine...?" she added.

"I have the best wine i could want, right here in front of me."

"Ok now you're being cheesy." Sara noted as she even probably started to blush.

"Wine and cheese go well together." Tegan added and then connected their lips again before Sara could voice another remark, with a smile that was almost impossible to suppress.


	32. Chapter 32

It was already November now, and for Cast The Sails that meant going back on tour, with plenty of shows in the US and Canada. It was hard for Tegan to think now she actually considered leaving the band after that argument with Sara. Ryan had a chance to clear the matter too and kinda apologize to her shortly after she and Sara moved back together. Things with him and Tegan still felt kinda odd sometimes thought, and now they had to travel for days together and work together on stage. Ryan never really admitted he had feelings for Sara.  
When the band got to their Vancouver show they were going to meet up with Sara there as it was pretty close to Seattle and since it was also the city where she grew up and spent most of her life. Tegan also wanted to take this chance and try to go with her to one of the old-growth forests in the area, and after she and Carmen insisted they should take a trip to the most accessible one while they were there, the whole band agreed to squeeze some kind of hike in their somewhat tight schedule. Even though Ryan and the other guys didn't really see the point in it and found it a bit strange that the girls wanted to go, especially on this time of year, they weren't hard to sway. The pristine forests of Vancouver Island with their giant trees were a well known tourist attraction. Sara went there a few times before when she was younger, to admire the beauty of the ecosystem but also in hope that she might find some kind of answers concerning her family curse that was tied to the forests of the area. But nothing really out of the ordinary happened in any of her outings there, she didn't hear any calling, she didn't feel anything different about her in that forest. So she was really skeptical anything would happen this time around, but maybe now that she was with Tegan it would make some kind of difference in that matter.  
They had to get pretty early to Vancouver so they could have time to drive and get their small tour bus on to the ferry that would get them to Victoria. Good thing they had pretty much the whole day free until the show that night. The weather seemed to be holding up even though it was pretty cold as expected, but the almost two and a half hours trip to the Francis/King Regional Park was quite enjoyable even though somewhat expensive.  
Sara was remembering some of her other outings there, and how she sometimes even got more further away to the Thetis Lake Regional Park just next to it and even as far as the Sooke region south-west of there.

For Tegan this was eerily familiar even though she's never actually been there before. The forest park kinda reminded her of the similar forests she used to hike in sometimes when she was growing up in Portland though. She could say she was quite an outdoorsy type of person, especially when she was a kid; she did have some trees tattooed on both of her arms. So it was somewhat odd that Tegan was feeling more and more wary and restless in that forest, and after less than one hour of being there she kinda pulled Sara aside while the whole group took a stop to rest a bit.

"Um, anything happening with you?" she asked the young artist.

"No... Other than the fact that i'm just a bit cold..." Sara said while blowing a couple of warm breaths in her palms and rubbing them together a bit. "Why; is anything up with you?" Sara did notice Tegan was acting kinda weird but she thought it was to be expected considering the situation and the actual point of this trip.

"I don't know if is just my mind playing some kind of tricks on me because of the dreams and all, but almost ever since we got to this place i feel like i hear voices, like some of this trees are talking."

"Really? Hm... That never happened to me." Sara said visibly concerned too. "You're kinda scaring me right now."  
"So, uh, what do they say?"

"They're like, telling me i shouldn't have come here, and that i should leave and never come back. I'm kinda scared too, i have to be honest."  
Sara was lost for words as it seemed her demeanor turned more cold and her eyes were wondering kinda lost on Tegan's face.

"Do, do they say anything about me?"

Tegan took a few seconds to respond to her. "No. Sorry."  
She didn't want to tell her but at least at one point she was pretty sure she heard the voices say that she can't save her.

"Hm..." Sara was still processing it all.

"Hey you love-birds, i just realized we didn't get to take a picture of you two in this magical place." Brett called out to them with a tint of humor. They had to end that conversation for now and head back to the rest of the group. Not long after that it started to rain; good thing they came prepared with rain coats, but nevertheless they decided they should head back.  
Strangely enough Tegan found more peace in the cold rain, as it seemed to have quieted all the forest voices now as they were heading back on the same hiker trail they came.

"Well this wasn't a total waste of time." Ryan noted slightly sarcastic as they were walking along. "Next time we come here we should probably do it in the summer, much better."

" _If_ there's going to be a next time." Brett added. The rain was not that bad, as the pretty dense foliage of the trees buffered some of its intensity.  
\-------

Tegan was looking at the grayish sky through the window of the ferry that was taking them back to Vancouver, kinda lost in thought, before Sara came back and sat on the chair next to her with two cups of hot tea.

"Here." she voiced as she handed her one.

"Thanks." Tegan smiled kindly. Outside it was still raining.

"I heard someone say they spotted some whales out there."

"Oh; cool." Tegan said, her interest barely piqued. Sara's orbs were fixed on hers as she took another slow sip from her cup.  
Tegan gave out a light sigh.  
"Look, don't worry about me, okay? I won't let this bother me too much; i definitely won't let this affect the show tonight."

"I know." Sara lightly nodded, her expression a bit sad and worried.  
"That's some freaky shit, right?" she then added with a smile, trying to downplay her concern and the whole thing. Tegan didn't say anything, just took a sip of her tea.  
"Well, at least now we have some kind of confirmation that is actually something up with you too, as much as it bothers and pains me to say it." Sara pointed out.

Tegan gave another sigh as she turned back to looking at her.  
"Come here." she said then leaned towards her girlfriend who intuitively closed the distance as their lips smoothly connected and softly played on each other for a few seconds.  
"You know, there in that forest, i think i felt more close to you than ever." Tegan voiced after they broke form the kiss. "I can't really explain it."  
As she moved in to kiss a slightly puzzled Sara again, she spotted with the corner of her eye Ryan and the rest of the group coming back from the on-board bar, so she just settled for a light kiss and let Sara's face just linger close to hers, probably expecting more, for a couple of seconds until she got the memo and turned to see them too.

____________

The next few weeks were pretty hard on Sara, as she had to go through 2 more episodes caused by the curse in a pretty short amount of time, a indirect attack at her health by the logging of trees in the old-growth forests from the Vancouver area. And Tegan wasn't there with her as she was still busy on tour, which made things somewhat worst, but deep inside Sara was slightly glad that her girlfriend at least didn't get to see and worry over that.  
The American tour ended just at the start of December so Tegan and Sara got to spend the holidays together. The following months were truly peaceful ones, as the logging seemed to stop in the winter and the start of spring, and Sara was somehow used to that by now.  
But something was worrying Tegan; she hadn't had any more dreams of that forest or any _spirits_ for that matter in months, ever since that trip to Vancouver island to the actual forest. Nevertheless in all this time she thought to contact someone from a environmental organization called The Ancient Forest Alliance who was working to protect the old-growth forest of British Columbia. She kinda kept in contact with them through e-mails and stuff, but she couldn't really explain to them Sara's out of the ordinary problem. Sara was right, they would probably think they were both crazy, or this organization, or any other for that matter, would probably want to involve media too, and they didn't really want that, especially Sara.  
Tegan could almost forget that was anything at all wrong with Sara; she seemed so happy most of the time, even though her somewhat prudent nature couldn't help to remind of her problem somehow. They fell in to this kind of normality, like nothing was there at all. But Sara knew better.


	33. Chapter 33

"Heey dad." Sara greeted with a light smile while holding and looking at the tablet through which she just started a video conversation with her father.

"Hi Sara!" he greeted back warmly. "How are things?"

"Oh, you know... good; i'm good." Sara said casually.

"Great." her dad acknowledged with a smile. Like Sara was actually going to tell him if she was having any problems; he had to learn to somehow read her, even if it was through some video conversation.  
"And how is Tegan?"

"Um, she's good too. Trying to keep herself busy with the music thing; networking online, finding more ways to promote the band, that sort of stuff. Now they even have their website and all."

"I'm sure you're probably helping her alot with that too, with your experience and all." he pointed out.

"Yup." Sara noted with a smile."I know a bit about on how this stuff works."

"A bit? You basically built your business from scratch pretty much alone in the online environment. I'd say she's lucky to have someone like you that can give her alot of insight about that sort of stuff."

"Well, i feel lucky to have her too." Sara said proudly with a content smile.

"You have some nice spring merchandise for sale. You know i check your website almost every month right?" her dad pointed out.

"Oh, thanks! Yeah, i've been kinda busy too. New year, new merch; y'know."

"Yeah. That's great. I will try to tell all my friends to buy a sweatshirt or a t-shirt, or at least to tell their kids to buy some. You know i already have mine ordered." he added jovially.

"Awww! Thanks dad."

"Eh, it's the least i could do."

There were a few seconds of silence between them, before Sara spoke next.  
"Speaking of what you can do... So, you know, i told you this last months have been pretty much the way i got used to by now over the years; even with Tegan here and the whole stuff she's been dealing with..."

"Yeah, you told me."

"I've been thinking, maybe you should come visit, you know. With the forests being pretty much undisturbed this time of year and all. There probably won't be any risk, if there ever was one at all. You get to see my place here, the store, you would get to meet Tegan... and Holiday." Sara said a bit cautious, but more excited towards the end.

"Sara... baby i don't want to take any risks with it, you know that. You know i couldn't possibly live with myself if i came there and made things any more harder for you."

"But you won't! I mean, we don't have anything that would indicate that." Sara voiced somewhat sad, but not really surprised by her father's answer.

"Sara; don't think for a moment that i don't want to come there and see you; i want to see you so bad; you're on my mind almost every day." She could tell he was getting a bit emotional while saying that, and it was making her start to feel that way too. "But this is all on me, it's cause of me; and the way i see it the less you have to do with me, or the less i have to do with that _place_ probably the better."

"This is cause of you? Oh you mean the fact that i was born?"

"Sara..."

"When are you going to stop blaming yourself for what is happening to me, or for what happened to mom?" Sara was fighting to hold back tears. She already knew she wouldn't get any answer to that, and she knew how much this hurt her dad too.

"Maybe the fact that i stayed away didn't make this curse get any worst on you. I watched this strange health problems grow worst and worst on you while i was there. If i come back who knows what would happen; i'm just not willing to take that risk."

The conversation kinda faded after that and it didn't last for much longer.

 

Sara was kinda taken by surprise by the first tears that escaped her eyes, she didn't really feel like she wanted to cry. She went in to her room before Tegan would walk back in to the living room from the kitchen where she was doing her own thing on her smartphone, wanting to let Sara have some privacy while chatting with her dad. The 28 year-old eventually came back in to the living room after a short while, to find just Sara's tablet on the coffee table. She went to her room to see if she was there. Her girlfriend was indeed there, lying on her side in bed, kinda snuggled in her pillow. Tegan knew that something was up and then she noticed that Sara was actually crying.

"Hey... what's wrong?" she voiced softly after walking over and sitting by Sara's legs on the edge of the bed. She inspected her with her eyes as she put a comforting hand on her leg.

"Nothing. It, it's nothing." Sara fumbled the words while putting on a smile after lightly but pretty obviously trying to clear some traces of tears from her eyes and cheek and as she turned her face to Tegan's but still not looking her in the eyes.

"Is this about your dad?" her girlfriend asked in a light voice.

"I don't know. Maybe. Probably." Sara said as she breathed in with a light sniffle.

"It's okay." Tegan moved her hand soothingly on her leg as the 31 year-old rested her head back on the pillow. Then she leaned to place a couple of soft kisses on her exposed arm. She gave a light sigh looking back again at Sara's slightly sad face and who was probably just fighting back more tears.  
Tegan carefully rested her body next to her, trying to comfort her as the big spoon. Sara didn't mind that at all, and she let another tear drop down her face while Tegan couldn't see it.

"I just thought that... telling him about those things that your perceived in your dreams and in that forest, and you getting to talk with him about it would change things somehow for him, y'know?"  
Tegan didn't say anything, she was just hearing Sara out and being there for her.  
"I thought that he would maybe not be afraid to finally come visit, and this being the safest time of the year for me and all."

"I'm sorry baby." Tegan voiced soothingly, then with her hand that was not on Sara's waist she caringly run her fingers through her girlfriend's silky back hair, taking in her scent, and move some of it away from her neck so that she could expose more of her skin. She didn't hesitate to place some few tender kisses on the side and back of her neck. She was careful, she didn't want to seem over-indulgent or smothering.

"Your father is so considerate and careful towards the ones he cares about, just like you."  
"I'm sure he misses you alot, i can't even imagine." she added as she gave her girlfriend another smooth kiss just above the neck line of her grey t-shirt. Sara gave out a tired light sigh while settling more in to Tegan's embrace. That's what probably hurt her the most, beside the fact that she missed him so much too.

____________

It was already April now, and the band was excited to hear that their label together with their tour manager got to set up some show dates for them in Europe and put together a small tour that would start next month. For the early spring Ryan did manage to book a few shows for the band on his own, most of them close by on the west coast. Since they were not really a radio-waves or mainstream successful band they had to play shows and promote wherever they could find it. Tegan even got in to helping other small artists on the side, as a studio guitarist, to make some few extra money. Brett could always do that too, but he still had his translating thing going so he was fine, and Ryan could land his production and mixing skills to collaborate with other artists, or even rent his home studio space to other bands for some extra cash like he had done even before Cast The Sails recorded their latest album and the extra buzz and exposure it generated. He was telling the other people from the band some stuff about that as they were all hanging out at his place; well except his sister who was probably busy with her new boyfriend somewhere. But Sara and Ted were there too.

"So, alot of that money still goes in to this, so it's all like a circle." Ryan was just finishing his idea.

"Yeah and then you get to attract even more and bigger artists that would want to work with you." Tegan added from the couch across the low table.

"And it would make our next album sound even better." Brett chimed in as he just walked from the kitchen with a fresh beer in his hand.

"Who said it's going to be a next album?" Ryan asked nonchalantly. They all knew he was joking.

"Ha, -you only have the nerve to say that because your sister's not here." Tegan noted with a smirk.

"Yeah!" Brett seconded her. "She's probably with that guy. What's his name again?"

"I'm not sure actually; i think is something with an E: -Eric, Elliot something. I didn't get to meet the guy." Ryan voiced then he looked at Sara who was standing next to Tegan.

"Hey don't look at me; i didn't get to make acquaintance with him either." Sara said with a light smile.

"Maybe _he_ is a she. Elliot, that can be a girl's name right?" Brett thought to throw that in there. Was kind of amusing, cause they all knew Carmen was pretty straight.

"Oh please. If she was in to that i probably would have hooked up with her way before i met Tegan." Sara pointed out half-jokingly.

"Heeey!" her girlfriend looked at her trying to act all hurt and surprised.

"What, she's kinda hot." Sara voiced bubbly with a kinda' dorky smile.

"First Ryan, now his sister. I can't believe you somehow made me feel protective because of them both." Tegan joked around; but Sara felt just a slight bit discomforted by that statement, and even if less obvious, Ryan was feeling a bit awkward too as he gave out a discreet and kind of incredulous laugh.

"Hey it never... Wait, what!?" Sara stopped her mouth getting way ahead of her, instead she acted innocently surprised.

"Anyway; i think Carmen is pretty good at keeping her friends kind of a secret from us." Tegan changed the subject back to her band-mate and friend. "I mean look how much it took her to tell us about you, right?" she turned again to Sara and gave her a warm smile. Sara felt like she kinda had to add something to that, but she was a bit awkwardly lost for words in front of everyone. Instead she just gave Tegan kind of a shy smile back.  
"Speaking of that... I think our first year anniversary is coming around, if i'm not mistaken." her girlfriend said as she looked at her with a cute smile and those sweet warm eyes, looking like she was almost holding back from kissing her passionately on the lips.

"Oh... You're not." Sara acted a bit surprised again, be it this time more pleasantly.


	34. Chapter 34

As the month of May was upon them the guys from Cast The Sails were really excited for their first bit of touring in Europe. They would have a chance to play in the UK, France, Germany, Holland and Spain, get to touch base with some of their European fans, and probably get to see some pretty nice places while they were there too.  
The beginning of the last month of spring also meant for Tegan and Sara that one year has passed since they first got together. Upon Sara's insistence Tegan had to conceive the planing of their anniversary pretty much to her. The young artist wanted to be the one that got to surprise her, and since Tegan was the one that got to plan their Valentine's Day, and most of her 31st birthday, which fell pretty close to one another.  
First thing first, she got to shop for some sex props and even a few new sex toys, nothing too wild; she only did this sort of thing for other people one time, for her last girlfriend, well two times if she considered the time they went to a sex shop together. Her ex girlfriend did this sort of thing for her too. In the time they've been together at least she sort of taught Sara to experiment with stuff and be more adventurous.  
Second thing, she made reservations for them at a pretty fancy restaurant really close to the bay shore. She knew Tegan would probably love the view since she loved surfing.

\-------

Sara put on a plaid gray blazer, her favorite one, and she was slightly arranging it over her black t-shirt in front of the bathroom mirror. Then she thought to add a bit of lip gloss and pursed her lips lightly. She did another quick check-over of her face and outfit then got out of the small room to meet Tegan, who was apparently already waiting for her in the hallway. She couldn't help not to form a smile at her girlfriend's cute smirk, that turned in to a clear smile as she got next to her.

"What?" Sara asked shyly, almost letting out a giggle.

"Nothing. You just look so beautiful that's all. I kinda have to pinch myself."  
Sara thought that was really sweet, since she was dressed pretty standard and not to overly elegant, having just some black ankle jeans combined with some black oxfords together with her plain t-shirt and blazer. Tegan had definitely seen her dressed more _seductive_ than this.

"Oh. Thanks. And look who's talking, -you look quite _charming_ yourself."

"Aww thanks!"  
That was kind of an understatement, since Sara thought she looked amazing and so yummy in her trashed blue tight jeans, white t-shirt topped off with that sexy gray leather jacket, and her hair, even her subtle makeup, considering Tegan rarely wore any kind of makeup at all.

"Ok got everything?" Tegan slightly snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Yeah."

"Great. Let's go. Bye Holiday!"

 

As soon as they got out of the apartment building they kissed once, just a short kiss, but which kinda continued more passionately as soon as they got in Tegan's car.

"Mm, look at you. Maybe leave some for the rest of the evening, eh?" Tegan said with a teasing smile just after they ended the lingering kiss.

"Okay. Just shut up and drive." Sara replied in the same playful manner after slightly adjusting in her seat, getting ready to put on her seat belt.

"Ookaay. Lead the way ma'am." Tegan added with her brows slightly perked.

"God, don't call me that, it makes me feel so old."

 

They eventually got to the sea-side restaurant after Sara gave directions to the place and needless to say Tegan was pretty excited; she knew the place but she had never actually been there before, it was a bit too expensive for her taste. It was a great, Vietnamese specific restaurant, really beautiful inside, and of course the view of the bay was there which delighted Tegan even more.  
The food and service were really good too, and by the end of their dinner Tegan pointed out that they should probably come back here sometime, maybe with their friends too.

 

It was almost 9 PM and Sara thought they should just hang out around town a bit more, maybe go to a park, grab some late coffee... but Tegan had other small stuff planed too, that her girlfriend didn't know about. This was a bit quirky and out of her norm but she thought to take Sara to a pretty special cupcake store, since she knew Sara had kind of a sweet tooth anyway.

"So, you gonna tell me where we are going?" Sara asked with a casual smile.

"I thought to take you to this place we've never actually been before, it's a really cool cupcake store that stays open until 10 on Fridays and Saturdays."  
"I know, right!? Everybody loves cupcakes." Tegan said with a adorable smug while driving ahead.

"Oh, cupcakes!" Sara noted a bit surprised. "Love 'em." needless to say she had a big smile on her face too.

"Yeah? Not as much as i love you though." After one year of being together Tegan could still make her blush pretty easily. It took Sara a few seconds to say something back.

"Well you... are like this giant cupcake that i love the most." she voiced even if realizing how cheesy that sounded.

"Hey don't tell all my edgy rock friends that okay? Not that part about you loving me, you can tell everybody that." Tegan was joking around.  
"And i'm liking this dirty talk."

"Oh, well maybe you will get more dirty talk later on tonight when you will be in my bed." Sara almost ruined the surprise.

"Mm, i like the sound of that." Tegan noted.

\-------

They had to take more of the wonderful and colorful cupcakes home with them, they had just a few in that quite romantic little shop, probably cause they were saving for the other _dessert_ back at home.  
Sara put the paper box full of cupcakes carefully on the back seat, then she turned to find Tegan's sight right on her as she was standing next to her in the driver's seat. She didn't start the engine yet.

"So... tonight was amazing." she voiced smilingly.

"Yeah. Thanks for showing me this cute place." Sara said as she casually gestured towards the sweets store whom they were still parked close to by lightly turning her head towards it, then turning it back to face Tegan. As soon as she turned her face she was taken by surprise by Tegan's left hand on her jaw followed immediately after by her soft lips on hers and before she knew it they were in another gentle, savory kiss. Sara hummed with a smile as she settled in to it.

"Happy first anniversary gorgeous. And thank you for like, giving new meaning to my life and stuff."  
Tegan quickly put on her cute lopsided smile still looking her girlfriend straight in the eyes. "What? I'm not that good at this deep stuff. But i really meant that." Sara thought she was just the most adorable thing, she had to hold back letting out a laugh through her wide smile.

"You kinda give new meaning to my life too you know. And i love you so much for that babe."  
Tegan didn't really have time to fully register the impact of that statement because Sara got close for another kiss so she had to naturally close the distance between their lips. The kiss was so good, so delicate yet with a subtle fervor; Sara was an amazing kisser. The tingles all over Tegan's body were real.

"Love you too." Tegan voiced before lightly pulling and caressing Sara's bottom lip one last time.  
"And you are totally the cupcake." she added with a playful smirk.

\----------

Well the night was far from over; and after they got home and had a bit more wine Tegan saw that Sara got a bit busy before they went out to set up her bedroom romantically again with mood lights and some aromatic candles. She kinda expected this, but what she expected less was Sara's request if they can play a bit more kinky tonight, and by _a bit_ she wasn't really sure what that implied but she totally wanted to go along with it.

"It's my treat, so you basically have no choice. So just sit back... and enjoy." Sara said teasingly.

"Oh okay." Tegan rolled her eyes sarcastically like a unimpressed teen.  
"Can i have the pleasure of undressing you first before you pull the whips out?" she added while putting her palms on Sara's hips and pulling her closer.

"Whips? Hm, maybe that's just your wishful thinking." her girlfriend voiced between two light kisses. "I'm not going to go _that_ naughty." she added as she softly run her thumb over Tegan's bottom lip. Of course Tegan was just kinda joking; she didn't really expect that from a big romantic such as Sara.  
"And yes, you may undress me, only if you let me undress you."

"That's perfect with me." Tegan replied with a light seductive smile.  
She gave another look for reassurance in to the 31 year-old beautiful brown orbs them she slowly started pulling up her black, medium length sleeve t-shirt right there on the spot in the middle of the room, inevitably managing to mess up a bit Sara's still neat styled short length hair and exposing all her black-and-white tattoos and her new sexy laced black bra, which Tegan acknowledged with a content smile and lightly razed brow. She could tell Sara kinda held back from saying something, probably with the intent not to ruin the moment. Keeping with the same _no words_ policy, after displacing of the t-shirt on the floor Tegan moved just the left part of her girlfriend's lightly messed hair back behind her ear, leaving the few strands on her right side still resting slightly over her eye. Then, moving her gaze away from hers, she started placing sensual pecks on the sensitive skin on and in between her collar bones

"Dam it Tegan..." Well who wouldn't get at least a bit stimulated from kisses in that spot. Tegan just wanted to cherish every step; but Sara was right.

"Right." the young musician voiced after moving up to give her a short kiss on the lips.

Sara wasted no time in pulling Tegan's white t-shirt over her torso and throwing it close to hers on the floor. She managed to break with a cute smile for her, glimpsing at her exposed chest and body before looking back to her face.  
"Keep your jeans on for me, ok babe?" Sara asked kinda shyly, then almost going back to her cute quirk of wanting to bite on her bottom lip.

"Okay. I'm still not done with you though." the 28 year-old replied teasingly. She moved her hands over Sara's hips and waist and then gently undone the button from her jeans, exposing just a bit of the lace material from the apparently matching black panties. Sara had to move to the mirror dresser and pretty much sit on it in order for Tegan to properly and carefully pull off her black jeans over her legs. Good thing the jeans weren't really too leg tight. The young artist didn't take her sight off her girlfriend, observing her as she eyed her whole body up to her lips and her slightly curious eyes.

"I got this just for you, and because tonight is so special, -but you know i don't usually wear this type of stuff, so don't get too used to it." she said smilingly and with a tint of shyness, referring to her lingerie. Tegan wanted to have her way with her right there, for starters; being able to see her back in that mirror and with all the dim lighting adding as an extra incentive and charm to it. Not that any extra incentive was needed. But nevertheless her brain was also telling her she had to respect her girlfriend's wish. Sara turned her head and torso towards the mirror to look at them too for a moment, and maybe to check herself out, _Tegan thought_ , then she moved in for a savory kiss as soon as the 31 year-old turned her head back. They didn't want to let it get to intense, especially Sara, and after their craving lips moved apart Tegan helped her off the dresser.  
They connected their lips again for a fast kiss before Sara told the 28 year-old to go lay on the bed.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what's going on. Apparently my fic probably got bugged or something, because it doesn't show me the reads from like past 2 weeks. At first i thought ppl just weren't reading it. I don't know if anyone else here has this problem, but i hope me posting a new chapter will fix it.

Tegan tried to make herself as comfortable as she could with the abundance of pillows on Sara's bed. Usually the bed wouldn't be like this; it kinda reminded her of their Valentine's Day. Except that the roles seemed to have switched now; she couldn't complain either way and she was looking forward to what Sara had in store and what would likely be the culmination of a already pretty amazing night.

"Hey, what'cha got there?" Tegan asked her girlfriend smilingly who just got on the bed and settled on her knees near her, clearly now with a pair of purple fluffy handcuffs in her hands that she extracted from that cool wooden box she got from her closet.

"Well, for start, i got this." Sara replied in the same manner, dangling the cuffs from her thumb. "If you preferred cold steal ones or leather handles maybe we can get that for our 2nd anniversary."

"Dam it, i have to wait that long, huh?" Tegan noted eyeing the restraints. Sara didn't get or even acted mad at that, she knew her girlfriend was just messing around.  
"No, i'm joking, this are great. So are you going to strap me to the bed or what?" Tegan inquired somewhat playfully.

"It did cross my mind, but no. I'm just going to _restrain_ your hands a bit, and i mostly just want to see you with them on."  
"But first, i need to take this off." she added with the same teasing smile, lightly pulling with her index finger at the middle section of Tegan's ivory color bra.

"Sure go ahead." Tegan smiled back.

Sara took her time taking it off, and after she finally threw it away on the floor she placed her hands on Tegan's ribs, moving them up sensually to the base of her breasts before slowly starting massaging them. She wasn't shy on moving pretty fast to placing soft kisses on her girlfriend's bare chest and collar bones area, adding more to her arousal. Just as Tegan started lightly licking and sucking her lips in contentment Sara moved up to her face to kiss her, now her being the one having Tegan's bottom lip between her own and even nibbling at it with her teeth. The 28 year-old wanted to hold Sara more there in to that savory kiss so she moved her hands to her neck and jaw, but the other woman placed her own hands over hers and broke away from her lips.

"Mm, now i have to handcuff this, sorry." the young artist voiced with a light smile.  
"Okay, so i need you to lift your body up so i can place a pillow or two under your back, you know, so that you won't be too uncomfortable with this on behind your back." she added. 

"Oh, -okay boss." Tegan noted jokingly, then she proceeded to do what she asked, and Sara carefully handcuffed her hands behind her back.  
As Tegan adjusted and rested her body back down on the pillows and was taking in the feel and the limitations the cuffs put on her hands Sara was watching her contently and with a teasing smile planted on her face.

"Comfy?"

"Yeah. I _will_ feel better if you get down here and give me another kiss, -since is pretty hard for me to reach your lips from here and all." Tegan said somewhat playfully.  
Her girlfriend leaned down to do just that, but noticing Tegan probably wanted more she placed a index finger on her lips after just a few seconds of kissing, leaving Tegan a bit surprised and kinda hanging. Sara was being a tease. 

"You have to wait." was all that she said before moving back on the edge of the bed and turning her back so that she could get something else from that box sitting on the nightstand. She turned to facing Tegan again, this time with a black blindfold in her hand and that same cute teasing smile.

"Ouu! Okay." Tegan said seductively.

As Sara leaned more close to her face to tie the soft blindfold around her head she continued -"You know, you're the first girl to ever blindfold me, or tie me up in any way."

"Yeah?" Sara softly voiced as she was carefully tightening the knot. "That should make me feel even more special." she added kinda jokingly.  
"Admittedly i'm pretty new to this type of thing too." she said before grabbing a fast kiss from Tegan's lips, kinda leaving her hanging again, this time in total darkness too.  
She could feel Sara shifted more on the bed, probably to grab and surprise her with something else.  
She didn't have to wait long to have her girlfriend's touch on her again, now in abundance as Sara got on top of her, with her knees on the sides of her waist.

"Hey, there you are." Tegan said.

"Hold still a bit okay? I will put this chic black tie around your neck, just for some extra control, on my part." the 31 year-old voiced as she went ahead and started doing that.

"Oh. Cool!"

"Don't worry i'll be gentle. I won't make a proper tie knot cause i will probably end up choking you. Not that i actually know how to make one, even though i've been with guys."

When she was done with that Sara leaned for a kiss, lightly signalling to her girlfriend by pulling a bit on the tie towards her. When their lips connected Tegan felt bliss, like all her senses were focusing even more on that, and this probably was the most burning kiss yet Sara gave her tonight. She wanted to make Sara stay even more in that kiss by putting her hands on her jaw, or cup her breasts that were still in that sexy bra and that were touching her bare ones, but she couldn't really do that because of the handcuffs, -a minor inconvenience.

"Practical and it looks so good on you too." the young artist said in a low seductive voice, both catching their breath from that fervent kiss.  
"Now... to take this off." she added in the same tone, and Tegan was feeling her gentle hands loosening her jeans. Then Sara moved off her in order to take them completely off, leaving her just in her black logo boyshorts.

"I want to see if i can manage to take off your bra, with my mouth." Tegan voiced as Sara got back in bed and on top of her like she was before, firmly straddled bellow her waist

"Oh. Shouldn't be to hard." Sara noted.

Didn't take Tegan long to partially remove it, considering she was in total darkness and her hands tied behind her back; carefully and patiently pulling the shoulder straps down one by one with her teeth. She did have her face to get the feel of _reference points_ , and Sara did help her a bit. Even if she couldn't grasp her girlfriends beautiful breasts with her eyes or with her hands she could still cherish them with her mouth. But Sara didn't even let her have that, at least not as much as she wanted, gently pushing her back down, and from what Tegan could tell, shifting her body towards the nightstand again. Her reflex was to move the blindfold off her eyes somehow, but she didn't do that, and anyway, it was kinda fun for her like this. All of a sudden she picked up a trace of a sweet scent. Before she could really pin-point what it was Sara centered her weight back on top of her.

"Sorry for that babe. Now is time for more pampering on my part." Sara voiced, and Tegan could imagine the cute smile that was probably on her girlfriend's face. Then her body tensed slightly at the touch of some kind of oil being poured on her chest.  
" _Cinnamon_." she managed to pick up the recognizable sweet scent.

"I guess you probably picked up the flavor by now. This is some really good _edible_ massage oil." Sara said as her fingers started flowing graciously on Tegan's chest, spreading the sensual substance.

"Oh..." the blindfolded brunette voiced.  
"Wow, that does smell amazing." she added. Words were kind of in vain to try to describe how great it all felt though, and before she knew it the feeling was greatly amplified by the touch of Sara's tongue between her breasts.

"I'm gonna enjoy tasting all of you tonight." the young artist teased before putting her tongue on her chest again, making Tegan shiver on the inside stronger than ever tonight.  
"You are so yummy, even without this." Sara softly voiced just before connecting her oil glazed lips to hers. Like Tegan needed any more incentive to kiss them hard. Again, she felt like she wanted to hold Sara's face there for more, a fresh reminder of the handcuffs on her wrists that she almost forgot about. The trace of warmth left from the cinnamon flavor coupled with her burning lips sharpened Tegan's arousal even more. That was in total harmony with the cleansing warmth generated by the oil spread by Sara's hands on her body, now moving down to her abdomen.

"Does that feel good babe?" the 31 year-old asked in a slightly raspy voice, which Tegan found totally hot.

"Uh, feels great." she replied contently.

"Good. This is just the icing before i basically get to fuck you senseless." Sara said teasingly.

"Mmm, dirty talk. I like." Tegan added. She was a bit sorry she couldn't see Sara's expression, well just a bit. She couldn't complain when her girlfriend was prompt to move her sweet mouth to her breasts and make the suspense last more, caressing and stroking her oiled skin with her lips and hands.

 

After her generous pampering Sara kissed Tegan's craving lips and said she will be right back, then got off the bed.

"Okay, i think is quite about time to take off those handcuffs, don't you agree?" she said after coming back and getting on top of Tegan's legs again.

"Damn right i agree." the 28 year-old replied playfully.

"Oh, feisty." Sara noted in the same manner, then she finally removed the restraints, freeing her girlfriend's hands.  
First place that Tegan's hands went to find was Sara's hips. She was kinda surprised to feel some smooth synthetic cloth like material there, like some sort of belt.

"I sorta wanted you to _feel_ something anyway." Sara added. Tegan was already pretty sure what that was.

"Hmm, i like where this is going." she voiced suggestively with a smile. Her girlfriend could tell that her brows got perked too, together with her interest. She could barely make out a soft giggle from Sara as she trailed with her palms to the hard dildo centered on the cloth strap-on.

"I hope you don't mind..." It was understandable for Sara to be somewhat shy about it, they never did it like this before, though they kinda talked about it.

"Wow, okay... You are strapped. Now i kinda want to see it too." Tegan said excited.

"Well of course you will see it. I got this just for you. Oh, and don't worry i got a bullet vibrator in here for my pleasure too, so..." Sara pointed out seductively.

"You got all this for me huh?" Tegan voiced as she was still feeling the sex toy. "I love you so damn much baby." she moved in to kiss Sara's chest.  
"Now i want to take this blindfold off so bad."


	36. Chapter 36

_Drifting in to consciousness. Starting to feel cold... so cold. Gradually seeming to be just the chilly air and breeze; maybe it's just that. Breeze... Tegan looked around her at her surroundings; it seemed the ocean was about 15 feet or so further away to her left, and to her right, a bit more further away was a imposing forest... well that seemed familiar. Tegan realized she was sitting down on the cold sand of a beach situated between the pretty agitated ocean who's crashing waves sound she was hearing clearly now, and that forest. That forest..._  
_Another sound came in to perspective, and that made Tegan look up towards the sky. Oh... strange. It was just a jet plane flying above, something so ordinary, yet it just seemed kinda out of place here. Tegan watched it for a few moments as it passed high above the cold landscape on the cloudy sky, his sound fading away together with it in the distance._  
_After looking back down Tegan just now noticed that there was a surfing board, her surfing board, a bit further away in front of her and slightly to her left, closer to the shore. Maybe that's why she was feeling so exhausted, and this feeling of some kind of deja-vu was kinda confusing her. This seemed to have happened before somehow._  
_After getting up Tegan looked back towards the forest, like she knew something. And she didn't have to scan much with her sight between the trees to spot someone moving around close to the edge of it, Sara. She was heading out of sight too; oh yeah, this definitely was familiar._  
_"Aren't you going to head after her, or are you too tired?" she was distracted by a woman's soft voice. She looked behind her and it was Sonia, in her semi-transparent ghostly form._

_"I, -I'm back here again... And you are here too..." Tegan voiced, mostly to herself. Sonia's light smile grew a bit bigger._  
_"I haven't been here in so long." Tegan added, a bit lost. But she pretty fast got the drive to head towards the forest after Sara, not pondering too much about it; like she knew her window to try to catch up and get to her was probably pretty small._  
_"Wait, -aren't you going to come with me?" Tegan said, seeing that Sonia wasn't following her. Instead she stood right there, watching her._

_"Oh, don't worry about me dear; i had a good share of time to spend with her while you were gone." the woman replied with a smile. Tegan thought it was somewhat strange, and she kinda wanted to ask her more about that, but she didn't really have time for that right now. And that smile, -wasn't so warm as she would maybe have expected from her with that confession; it even looked like it faded away really fast too. She didn't have time to dwell on that thought though._

_"Sara!" she started calling out for her as soon as she entered that forest. She couldn't see her anywhere, but strangely, she knew she was still close by. She couldn't have gotten far._

_"Sara where are you? I know you're here."_

_"What m i doing back here again anyway?" Tegan quietly started questioning the matter and herself a bit disheartened. Her mind couldn't help to think as she was among all this trees of that time she was in that other old forest with Sara and her band mates, right at that point, and she remembered how those strange voices were telling her to stay away. Like that's what she needed now, to get more scared about this._

_"Sara, please! I'm cold... i'm tired... I just need your warmth; i need you right now." For some reason she didn't want to say that she was scared too._  
_Nothing._  
_She looked back from where she came from. Strange; it seemed she was way deeper in to the forest than she expected even though she could swear she didn't walk much. She could barely see the beach through the big trees now. She decided to push forward anyway._

_"Didn't really expect to see you back here." the voice that immediately put a smile on her face came from somewhere behind her._

_"Sara! Oh my god you're here!" she turned to find her surprisingly close to her._

_"I'm here cause this is my home. I don't know why _are you_ here."_  
_Instead of a reply with any kind of explanation Sara got a tight hug from Tegan._  
_"Tegan!..." she voiced almost laughing and unable to move her hands cause of her girlfriend's bear hug._

_"They don't like that you keep coming here." she added after the 28 year-old let go, turning more serious now._

_"Yeah, i think they made that pretty clear..." Tegan said, looking and grasping at how normal Sara seemed, in her black boots, rolled up blue jeans, white sweater and usual leather jacket._  
_"But why m i here... Well first of all i think i kinda asked for it, remember?_  
_"Hmm, why m i here...? I think i'm here to try to get you out." Tegan pondered a bit while saying that._

_Sara seemed a bit bothered._  
_"Get me out? But i don't want to leave this place."_  
_"And how are you going to get me out of here? There are basically just the trees here and an endless shoreline."_

_"Maybe on that big jet plane." Tegan noted, probably the first thought that came to her mind on the spot._

_"What jet plane?" Sara asked kinda confused._

_"It was a plane, just passed above this area a few minutes ago, didn't you at least hear it?"_

_"I think that was just a element that made its way in to your dream and that only you could see somehow." Sara pointed out._

_"Yeah... My dream..." some things were starting to come in to focus for Tegan. Seeing inside of a passenger airplane, - airport buzzing with people..._  
_She looked back at Sara who was looking at her and then smiled a bit restrained, but it was still so beautiful._  
_She was waking up slowly._

_"Sare..."_

Tegan opened her eyes and they started slowly adjusting to the pretty dark and at first unfamiliar room. She felt annoyed that she woke up from that dream at that point, like there could have definitely been more there, more questions to be asked and maybe more answers. It must have been really early morning outside, as some natural light was creeping in the hotel room through the window blinds. She looked at her phone -it was almost 6 AM.  
She got up, she somehow didn't want to stay in bed any more, so she started looking for her clothes in the pretty small room without turning on the lights as she didn't really want to wake Carmen who was sound asleep in the bed on the other side of the room. It would have been kinda rude to wake her anyway, considering she was careful not to wake _her_ last night obviously, cause Tegan didn't remember hearing when she came back in. _Damn_ , she must have been really tired, and the jet lag was something else, still needed alot more hours to fully recover from that. This was the longest flight she ever took in her life from one place to another, well for all of them except Ryan and their tour manager Evan, who both had been to the UK before. They did change flights from Seattle to Iceland, but still all in all it was a almost 12 hours trip with the time spent in Reykjavik airport too. Their European tour was officially under way as they just landed in London the other day. When they arrived at the hotel it was just around 6 PM and once in her room that she shared with Carmen Tegan started to feel pretty fast that all she really wanted to do at that point was get some sleep. The airplane seat wasn't really a good platform for her to get any serious rest and surprisingly the Red Bull she had in Reykjavik didn't help much with the jet lag. Some of the other people, like Brett and Carmen probably mastered the whole sleeping in a airplane thing much better, cause apparently they still had plenty of energy in them and wanted to go out to take in the feel of the big city and find a good place to grab some food and maybe some coffee, or tea. So basically that's why Tegan had no problem waking up more early than probably the rest of them.

As she was finishing putting her street clothes on Tegan was still thinking about her dream that was so fresh in her mind. She actually got to talk to Sara, or maybe more exactly that spirit form of Sara, even though for just a bit. She actually showed up to talk to her. And Sonia was in that dream too, though she didn't do much in this one. Tegan wondered why she was there in the first place if not to look for her daughter.  
Well for now London was calling and Tegan took another fast look around the room and at sleeping Carmen then quietly got out. 

None of the other guys from the group were in the small hotel lobby, as it was expected, and with just a little bit of hesitation Tegan stepped out and started walking with her hands tucked in her jacket pockets in the already busy metropolitan streets, taking in the cold and humid early morning air, the buildings all around and the slow traffic together with its red double-decker buses passing around ever so often and even the occasional black cab. She just kinda relished in this alone time in a city she dreamt of seeing someday ever since she was a rebellious teen.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda dread writing filler chapters. Ha, i guess who doesn't, right?

Tegan managed to buy herself a warm cup of tea from one of those street vending machines, luckily she had some change at her disposal after exchanging some dollars for british pounds yesterday at the airport. She didn't really want to get coffee just yet, she preferred to wait so that she could have her first cup of the day with the rest of her friends, it would be more enjoyable that way. And for now the chilly morning air was pretty much enough to keep her wide awake. She even was a bit surprised how cold the temperature was here considering it was late spring, not to much different from Seattle though.  
She eventually found a small park not too far away from the hotel, settled on a empty bench there and thought to call Sara via Skype. She was pretty unsure if her girlfriend would reply at this time. The call connected and after ringing five times Sara answered. Of course they were on video too.  
"Hey beautiful." Tegan greeted with a big smile.

"Hey babe." Sara was smiling back sweetly as ever, though she was probably a bit tired. It was past 11 PM in Seattle and Tegan could tell she was already in her PJ long sleeve tee, -the one they had matching models of. In contrast Tegan had a jacket on and the hoodie from her sweatshirt over her head.  
"What's up?"

"Um, were you in bed?"

"No; in the living room actually. Reading more on this interesting novel that Alice recommended, i don't know if you can make out the title..." Sara said as she showed the cover of the book in front of the smartphone camera.

"A Gate at the Stairs... -oh yeah i can make out the title pretty clear." Tegan noted as she read the quite clear white letters.  
"Maybe i will read it too after i come back home so don't give me any spoilers." she added a bit jokingly.

"Okay; i haven't even read half of it anyway." Sara smiled kinda suggestively. She knew she kinda had a tendency to tell people about the books that she read and liked, as in pretty descriptively.  
"So... you missed me this much to call me from what i presume is really early morning back there?" Sara asked with a cute smile tugging at her lips.

"Yup. That's pretty much it." Tegan replied, trying to seem all cool and sweet.

"And it's barely been 12 hours since you last called me." Sara noted casually, seeming somewhat flattered.

"Yeah..." her girlfriend added, showing a bit of fake embarrassment with her cute expression. She knew Sara didn't mind, on the contrary.

They talked a bit more about the accommodation, the venue the band was going to play at tonight and what Tegan thought about London so far, and a bit about their cat Holiday and how she had grown to actually miss her.  
Truth be told the dream that Tegan had this morning made her kinda restless and she wanted to talk to Sara to rest her thoughts somehow, even if obviously not completely. She had the urge to be sure she was alright; she didn't plan on calling her until actually before the show this evening. But she didn't let Sara know her concerns, she didn't really want to tell her that her strange dreams came back, she didn't really see any point in telling her that right now.  
They ended up talking quite alot actually, more than Tegan anticipated. They both did miss each other, even if Tegan was gone for basically a day.  
After more than half-an-hour sitting on that cold bench the young musician decided it was time to head back to the hotel, and let Sara probably go to bed. She wished she was there to cozy up with her. But Tegan and the band had a long day ahead of them.

\---------

"You're awfully quiet." Brett pointed out casually to Tegan as the whole group was inside a coffee shop a bit later that morning, gathered around 2 tables to have some breakfast. Other than the guys from the band there was Ted, their tour manager Evan and their driver Chris, and the coffee shop tables were too small for seven people.  
"I expected you to be more excited, we're in freakin' London! It's your first time in Europe." he added mostly for the sake of conversation.

"Hey, don't mind me if i don't just jump on the table here." Tegan said sarcastically. "And like, start screaming _Oy, Europe, are you ready for us!?_ "

"I imagine Tegan doing that at our show tonight, but like, instead of a table there would be the speakers." Carmen noted jokingly.

"Yes, first i still kinda have to shake this jet lag."

"Speaking of that, how did sleep go? You probably slept the most out of any of us last night." Brett asked her.

"Well there was an actual bed... and it wasn't too bad really. I mean, we all slept in vans and on the bus while we were on the road. I even lived in my car, so i can't complain really." Tegan noted without saying anything about her dream. Their small tour bus that was more like a big van and that the band would be using to get around Europe on this tour too didn't really have any beds. They were pretty much a indie and relatively unknown band so they were lucky to have that too.

They had to do some promoting in Europe, so they were doing the whole radio station performances and interviews, music vlogs interviews and even some music magazines interviews, and the shows of course. Just the ones in Amsterdam and Barcelona were outside at some festivals, the ones in London, Berlin, Paris and Marseille being in more or less small venues. But the people in all this countries that helped them put the shows and hangouts together, some of them being local musicians too, were great, just as the fans that came to see and support them. They would be in Europe for about 2 weeks.

____________

Back in Seattle Sara thought to keep herself more busy by starting to paint some stuff again. She did have a painting studio anyway, and she had all this *alone* time, thing that she pretty much had gotten unused to lately; not that it was actually a bad thing. Drawing and painting was always something really personal to her and somehow liberating and relaxing. Plus it even helped her find some inspiration for some designs to use on the clothes and accessories she sold.  
But now Sara was trying to dig deep for some inspiration and some ideas for a oil painting. One thing that she was kinda thinking about lately, even before Tegan left, was how she kinda envied her and their friends from the band for being able to got to Europe and go through all this beautiful countries, seeing cool and different things. Tegan would call and talk to her every day, sometimes showing her cool locations through her phone camera, or sending some nice photos she took whenever she was in a beautiful city. This made Sara feel even more sorry she couldn't travel there with them. It's almost like she was trapped here.  
So she let her mind and especially her heart do with that whatever they wanted, let them run away with all of it and translate it on the canvas through her hand in her pretty usual abstract style. The main theme of the painting was shaping up to be something about the five european countries Cast The Sails were touring in, with Sara's somewhat strange abstract twist to it.

From the way the painting was slowly coming to fruition and the way Sara was illustrating and tying together the initial idea it was hard to think someone would actually pick up what it was meant to be about. Sara took her time with it, putting a few hour every couple of days or so, and in the process even she was a bit surprised on how it was turning out.

At least this way some days seemed to pass a bit faster, and eventually they got to being just merely hours before Cast The Sails would _sail_ back home; before Tegan would get back home to her.

 

It was mid afternoon and Sara was just hanging a bit more at the store where they were selling her wears, since she didn't really have anything else to do at this time, after stopping by it to drop off a few more t-shirts from her warehouse.  
She was just about ready to leave when she heard someone behind her point out: "I heard they have some really cool stuff here."  
She turned to see who said that. She couldn't believe her eyes that it was actually Tegan standing there.

"Tegan! Oh my god! How did you...?"

"This Brul gear... I wonder who comes up with this awesome designs."

"But, i thought you won't be back by tomorrow morning... Wait, was this your plan to surprise me?" Sara voiced joyfully but still a bit in delighted shock that her girlfriend who was hugging her back was right there in front of her.  
Tegan just smiled contently at her.  
"Oh, so you did plan this thing out." Sara answered her own question as she stood close to her girlfriend so their craving arms and lips could do the natural thing and comfort each other.

"Sorry i dis-informed you. It was kind of a white lie though." Tegan said as she gently pulled her body even closer. After a lingering but relatively short first lips contact in 2 weeks Tegan just stopped to stare in Sara's eyes and at the face she missed having close, while holding her arms around her lower back. Sara's palms were now resting on her shoulders and she was just being quiet for now as she was looking back at her.  
"Missed you so much; even with all the distractions in Europe." Tegan voiced with a soft smile then she kissed Sara's cute nose before resting her forehead gently on hers.

"Hmm, i missed you more, probably." Sara said as she moved her mouth in for another more sensual kiss which Tegan happily reciprocated.

"Come, let's get out of here so i can tell you more about Europe and show you what i got you from there okay?"

"How did you know you would find me here anyway?" Sara asked still all smiles as they were walking out of the store.

"Oh, i passed first by the warehouse after i dropped my stuff at the apartment, so Alice told me you might be here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, on the plus side, i think now i have more time for writing. And i do still want to continue this story. But i kinda think i might stop investing any time at all in to it, because there is basically no feedback (except well, kudos), the fic is probably too boring or whatever.


	38. Chapter 38

After Tegan came back from the tour in Europe Sara was understandably a bit distracted from finishing the painting that she started while she was gone. The two spent as much time together as they could in the following days.

 

It was a sunny day in Seattle and the two were out taking in the sights at a sea-side fair that just opened in the city. Walking hand in hand, it was all so laid back and kind of romantic, basking in all the sounds and smells specific to this kind of places while at the same time having a bit of fun. Tegan even managed to win two stuffed animals, a baby tiger for Sara and a giraffe, mostly for her, at two different booths. Holiday would probably enjoy them too back at home.

"I don't feel too good."  
"Babe can you take me home please?" Sara said kinda out of nowhere, looking saddened at her girlfriend.

"Oh..." Tegan was taken a bit by surprise by this. They were having such a great time. "What's wrong? Is it those sweets that we ate? Cause my system is like' totally fine with that."

"No, i'm afraid it's not that." Sara noted, putting on a light smile just for a moment.

"Oh. Is it the..." Tegan just realized how she almost totally forgot about _that_. Stuff like that didn't happen in over 6 months, at least not that she knew of, so it was kind of normal for her to somehow forget about that issue, considering it was a pretty unnatural thing anyway.

"I think so... I'm kinda fine for now; I just don't want to take any chances with it, you know? This is a pretty public place and all..." Sara said kinda discomforted. It was like an alarm just rang in Tegan's head.

"I... Yeah, of course. Okay, let's get out of here then. Come" she voiced before putting her free arm around Sara's back as she calmly guided them out of the fair grounds and towards the place where her car was parked.

 

"I'm so sorry that we had to leave like this." Sara seemed really down as they just started driving away. Tegan reached out and put her right hand on her left one, eventually finding Sara's fingers to interlace with as she spoke back reassuringly.

"Eh, we've been there for some time anyway. And you don't have to apologize for this babe, you know that." Sara looked at her and gave her a light smile. Tegan could tell she was already looking kinda pale and that her breathing wasn't really normal, and she knew she was in some kind of pain just by looking at her seemingly tired eyes.

\-----

Luckily for Sara it turned out to be just a pretty short lasting and somewhat mild episode, and luckily for Tegan's scare and concern too. That probably meant just a few trees were cut down somewhere in that forest. But it was a sad reminder that logging season was probably under way there too. Sara somehow had learned to expect this. She kinda needed to talk to Tegan about it too, and she dreaded that.  
\---

"I didn't tell you those dreams came back." Tegan mentioned later on that evening as Sara was having that conversation with her. Sara who was now feeling much better just looked at her with questioning eyes.  
"First night in Europe; I was really tired and i don't know, that dream with the forest just came back to me towards the early morning. I even called you that morning cause i was a bit worried."  
Sara looked like she wanted to say something but she didn't really know how to start.  
"It was the only time this year it happened." Tegan added.

"Okay... What happened in it this time? What did you see?" Sara asked patiently.

"It was like, a recurring dream somehow; I remember i had a version of this dream before... it was actually somewhat similar to the first dream i had about that place and you. But like, this time it had some other stuff in it, like a more clear version somehow. Your mother was there, unlike in the first dream..."

"My mom...? Did you get to see my mom again? Did, -did she tell you why she doesn't show herself in my dreams too? Did you ask her?" the 31 year-old questioned curious but calmly. Tegan sighed sad.

"No. I'm sorry. I didn't really get to talk to her. I didn't have time; i was chasing after you. She kinda told me to go after you."

"Oh." Sara voiced.

"I'm sorry baby." Tegan was looking at her with honest, sad eyes. But the next phrase would help brighten stuff a bit, at least for her.  
"But that did lead to me getting to find you there, and talk to you a bit."

____________

In the next days Sara did eventually come around to finishing her painting; kind of. She could still come with a new idea and change it.  
Tegan obviously knew she was working on something and she wanted to see it, and Sara thought to show her, even if she was kinda hesitant about it.

 

"Okay, i'm ready." Tegan said a bit jokingly before entering through the door of the small studio.

"Ta-da!" Sara kinda pointed enthusiastically towards her painting that was standing on the easel in the middle of the room, then waited patiently for Tegan's first reactions.

"Wow. There seems to be so much going on in there." Tegan noted as she was inspecting the oil painting closely.

"Not really..." Sara voiced.

"Is this like, one of those totem poles...?"

"Yeah. See, it's got like' five elements to it." Sara replied excitedly.

"Cool." Tegan noted still attentively focused on the beautiful and complex painting.  
"And this are like waves... at least that's what i think. You said this painting is somehow about our tour in Europe...?" It was definitely hard to see the connection.

"Well yeah... Part of it yes. I just used that as some kind of inspiration and built it from there, kinda like a metaphor, y'know?"

"Hmm; so probably this part here is suppose to represent the ocean, right? But not our ocean, the one between US and Europe."  
"And which of this totem animals suppose to be which country?" Tegan asked as she lightly traced her fingers over some area of the painting.

"Does it actually matter? And can you please not touch the paint? Probably some parts of it didn't dry yet."

"Oh, -sorry." Tegan took like half a steep away from the painting, then backed off some more to appreciate it from a bit more distance.

"The more i look at it the more i see that it's definitely tied to you; tied to your roots."

"Tied to my lost roots." Sara said bluntly.  
"Funny thing is even _I_ can't really describe all of it."

____________

 

_It was really weird. Like the landscape seemed familiar somehow. So many trees. This was definitely some kind of forest. A really beautiful one, probably the most beautiful one she had ever seen yet alone been in. It was not actually just the beauty of the forest and the trees, but it was something there, making her feel like she was almost weightless. The more she advanced forward and looked around her the more the place didn't seem so beautiful and looked even kinda intimidating. It was dark and cold now, some few light rays barely making their way through the tall trees, and Sara found herself just stopping at some of them like pockets of warmth and safety, even having some moments to reflect._  
_Was this the forest that was so tied to her life? The forest that was causing her so much pain?  
She could hear sounds of birds and the occasional sound of cracking wood, and the sound of rattling leaves in the wind was barely there even if all looked so totally still. She pressed forward, now more faster than before. She thought of Tegan, she was telling her about something like this. Maybe she could find her here._

_Oh, a clearing. Maybe Tegan would be there._

_Strange, Sara thought. It seemed sun rays were creeping through the dark forest while she was in it just a few moments ago, but now that she was out in this clearing there were no sun rays anymore, there was no sun. It was like some really early morning, with the moon still being clearly visible on the sky, pretty low too. So low that it was almost sitting on top of some pole thing kind of in the middle of the clearing. It looked like a totem pole; it looked alot like the totem pole in Sara's painting._


	39. Chapter 39

_She approached the tall mystical structure cautiously. Sara recognized all the elements of the totem pole, because she pretty much put them there. There were the five spirit animals representations, starting from the bottom with the bear, wolf, horse, owl and on top the eagle with his open wings. She remembered how she mostly just chose them randomly, not specifically for their mystical meaning._

_"Hmm; my Europe." Sara voiced somewhat pensive as she touched and trailed the totem with her right hand's fingers. "My Spain, my France, my England, my Germany and my Holland."_  
_She promptly retracted her hand back as she could swear she saw some of the large eyes from the big wooden totem move to look at her. She didn't know what to think, all she knew is that she was feeling scared at this point. Then the totem started moving, twisting towards her like it was a living thing. It seemed made out of living things. Sara was surprised why her heart wasn't racing, she just stood there frozen looking at it unfold before her._  
_As if kinda to make her be less intimidated somehow, the animated spirit animals that split apart from the pole structure got alot more smaller and less abstract and rough looking, transforming right before her eyes. One looked particularly familiar._

_"Holiday?!" Sara was now overjoyed to see that the owl turned actually in to a cat that resembled her cat so much._  
_"Baby! You're here too!" She had no doubts that it was her as soon as the cat walked over to her, meowing at her._  
_"Come here! Come to mama." she voiced excited as she crouched down to take her in to her arms. She felt like Holiday too._

_It was pretty clear by now that none of the spirit animals were hostile, they were pretty friendly actually and they all wanted to hang around her._  
_"Are this your friends baby? Hm?" Sara said as she held Holiday tighter in her loving arms while looking at the other animals._  
_"O my god baby look, -they are shining too." she added. All the animals including the cat were radiating some kind of light; the hawk and the wolf were even radiating it from their eyes._  
_"So cool. I wonder if you guys do that in the daylight too."_  
_"Speaking of daylight..." It was looking like the sun was starting to make itself shown over the trees and the landscape didn't seem at all intimidating any more._

__________

Tegan walked in to the living room yawning and stretching, still in her bed shorts and t-shirt. Seemed it was one of those rare mornings when Sara actually woke up before her. Oh, and she wasn't in the living room either.

Sara felt the familiar warm hands rest on her shoulders that then move to wrap tenderly around her chest as she was still sitting kinda reflectively with a knee up to her chest on a kitchen chair with her back turned to the door. She did kinda anticipate it hearing Tegan's quiet footsteps as she was coming from the main room. And she turned her head just as intuitively just in time to meet her sleepy girlfriend's soft lips as Tegan leaned down over her left shoulder.

"Mmm, hey." Tegan greeted gently in to the kiss.

"Morning." Sara greeted back.

Tegan move away to the countertop to reheat some of the remaining coffee.

"You've been up for a while huh." she could tell just by looking at Sara's more than half empty mug of coffee sitting on the table. "I didn't even hear you get up."

"Yeah..." Sara voiced a bit distant.

After she poured herself the coffee in her name baring mug Tegan pulled a chair and sat next to Sara facing her.

"So what's up? What's bothering you?" she asked casually with a sleepy smile.

"Ha, so if i wake up before you means that something must be bothering me... Hmm." Sara quipped somewhat ironically.

"Well no. I thought you just seemed a bit i don't know, -a bit reflective." Tegan did read her well, but Sara was reluctant to tell her about that dream that she just had. She didn't want to tell her; what for? Give her more concerns or some possible false hope? Sara put on a bit of a dismissive frown, but not looking Tegan in the eyes.

"No i'm fine. I just have like' stuff on my mind, that's all."  
Tegan noticed that maybe something was there, but she didn't want to bother Sara with it more. Even though she did look kinda cute when she was a bit mad.

"Like the trip to Sasquatch?" Tegan asked a bit cautious after taking a 2nd sip of her warm coffee.

"Yeah... That too." Sara voiced quietly. It was more like a rhetorical question, Tegan expected she would say that. She took another sip of her coffee.

"And you know what?" Tegan said to lighten the mood a bit. "Maybe i m the one that is bothered when i wake up and my hands can't feel you there, and my sleepy eyes can't fall on you."

"Oh, is that so?" Sara noted playfully.  
"Maybe you want to come sit on my lap?" she added more seductively.

"No, you come sit in _my_ lap." Tegan demanded with a confident smile after thinking for like 5 seconds. Her girlfriend didn't argue with that, she got up from her chair and moved over to Tegan, straddling her legs and resting her arms on her shoulders and around her neck.

"You were probably too lazy to get up from this chair." Sara pointed out with a cute seductive smirk.

"Yeah... The coffee didn't kick in yet." the 28 year-old voiced then her hands that were on Sara's enticing bum changed location from her grey pj pants to holding her lower back as they started to kiss.  
"This does the trick better." she added before connecting their lips again.

_______________

Summer meant lots of music festivals all over the country and Cast The Sails tried to get booked for as many as they could, even with many months in advance. They were happy they would get to be one of the 114 acts that would get to play at Sasquatch at the end of May, no way they would have missed out on that.

Sara decided she would come with them too, since it was just less than 150 miles away. They all drove there with their cars, all the band's equipment being safely stored in Ryan's van. Rob and Larisa would be joining them too, together with Brooke with who Brett was apparently still going strong and Elliot, Carmen's new boyfriend.

The drive to Gorge amphitheatre took a bit over two hours, mostly through some beautiful woodland scenery. And the festival site was a really amazing and breathtaking place, with great scenic view over the beautiful Columbia river.  
\-----

"The t-shirts and hoodies sold really well on our website. Sara is definitely a keeper." Brett was saying as they were setting up their merch tent on the busy festival grounds.

"Yup. We're lucky to have her." Ryan noted. They arrived there a day before the shows started, and they would play on the 2nd day, on the 28, so they all just rented 2 premium camping spots since they only had 2 cars except the equipment van.

 

"This place is so cool." Sara said as they were just casually exploring more through the vast open festival grounds doted with all kinds of facilities. There were already plenty of people there.

"Yeah and they have everything here, pretty much: food trucks, alcohol, showers, they even have a record store." Tegan pointed out. "And i think this is probably up there as one of the most beautiful music festival locations anywhere in the world."

"Yup. Right here in our lovely state." Rob added as he and Larisa were walking along with them too.

There were actually a few pretty big names playing at this festival and most of them they would get to see on their stay here. And they would get to hang out with some of the smaller bands just like them, few of them being from Seattle too. Some pretty crazy 3 days were awaiting them.  
Tegan couldn't help to be a bit worried about Sara though, especially on the way here. She didn't know if something would affect Sara taking in to consideration the distance problem she was telling her about. But the 31 year-old did her best to assure her that it wasn't actually too far away for that aspect of the curse to start to take effect.

\-------

"So, Brett already managed to get drunk the first night here, who would have thought?" Tegan noted with a tint of sarcasm. "He calls it warm-up."  
"And that guy Elliot; -he seems like a totally different fellow when he gets a few beers in. I mean, not in a bad way."

"Yeah. He's really something. Carmen has her hands full with him." Sara added as they were walking close to the less crowded backstage area where most of the artists would be staying. They were just taking a stroll away from the camp sites and kinda exploring the surroundings more in the night just the two of them, before the festival would officially kick off tomorrow.

"He's alright." Tegan noted.

They got just to the edge of the venue grounds, to the other side of the road surrounding it.

"So, are you looking forward to sharing a sleeping bag with me again?" Tegan said as they stopped close to the gorge descent in to the vast river valley. She couldn't help to remember what happened last time they did that. She looked at Sara; she was probably thinking the same thing too, although she didn't really know the whole thing.

"Yes; -even if last time didn't end up to well." Sara replied with a smile.

"No surfing in cold water this time." Tegan said with a cute smirk as she got closer to her, putting her hands around her waist. Sara couldn't help to smile warmly back at her. Then they shared a couple of kisses in that spot.

"I bet you can't wait to see me drunk too." Sara voiced after their 2nd kiss.

"Well now that you mention it..." Tegan noted with a cheeky smile.


	40. Chapter 40

Tegan opened her eyes, her sight was facing up looking at the tent roof through which morning light was already apparent. But that was not what woke her from her slumber, -it was actually Sara shifting her weight a bit on her that pulled her out of sleep. She was basically so close to her that her face was almost burrowed in to her neck, while her right arm was resting on Tegan's abdomen. It was actually Sara's right leg that was resting over her legs the culprit, it being the one that moved earlier. _It_ was even being a bit uncomfortable truth be told, but Tegan didn't bother moving it off her, not wanting to risk waking her girlfriend that obviously shifted that leg unconsciously, as the 28 year-old could tell she was still blissfully asleep. She could feel Sara's peaceful breaths on her skin and that made her smile. She placed a delicate kiss on her head while her left hand was now resting on the hand Sara had over her body. She fell back asleep again pretty fast.

 

The first day of the festival rolled on in a pretty relaxing way too. The band with the rest of their friends were there kinda like any other of the many music fans gathered there and they could get to see many cool acts on any of the 5 stages.

"You guys are sure you don't want to come hang more in the front with us?" Tegan asked Brett and Brooke who were with her and Sara at a secondary stage just as Julia Holter was about to start her set. Sara really wanted to see her play, she was clearly the biggest fan out of all of them. Tegan got in to her because of Sara basically.

"Nah... we're cool. We're just gonna chill around here for a while and maybe go check out the next act at one of the other stages." Brett replied.

"Ok, suit yourself. See you around then" Tegan said, then she and Sara started maneuvering through the crowd to get closer to the stage. The rest of their friends were doing their own thing in other places on the venue grounds.

 

"Sorry. Sorry, coming through." Sara voiced jovially, careful not to step on any people's feet as they were making their way through, -she being in front and Tegan just behind her with her hands on her shoulders. They were both pretty short so they kinda needed to be in front to see anything. They were luckily quite on point, getting somewhere close to the stage just as Julia and her band started to play the first song.  
Sara looked at Tegan with a big smile, kinda to show how happy she was they made it and that they were there, and the 28 year-old didn't hesitate to grab a kiss from her lips. Then Tegan moved behind her again, this time to wrap her arms around her waist and watch the performance from over her shoulder, both settling in to the soothing music and in to each other.  
They would sway together at some songs, they would share short kisses or sometimes Tegan would just give Sara delicate pecks on the neck and temple.  
The whole vibe and all the songs were so good, it was too bad that it had to end pretty fast, for Sara the concert could have lasted alot longer, and definitely for Tegan too who was really impressed and she was somewhat mesmerized in that blissful alone moment with Sara. There were still alot more artists to see.

Tegan could tell Sara was not quite used to running around the grounds of music festivals, or not to mention trying to get even a bit crazy in the front-stage pits, and it wasn't the age thing; -well it probably was that too a bit. Sara was just comfortable being more laid back and more of an observer, and Tegan knew that about her by now. She on the other hand kinda loved thins kind of stuff, loved the freedom spirit of it all and she still had some rocker blood in her. Plus she was more used to this stuff, being a musician and all. But she didn't mind at all just chilling with Sara and taking it maybe more easy than she would if she wasn't there with them. It was a whole nother level of enjoyment with her around. Sara did manage to get somewhat drunk by the end of the day though. Apparently the inexpensive wine here was pretty good. The day only lead way to the night that was still filled with music and probably even more craziness and celebration, and after attending some late-night act that ended somewhere close to 2 AM the two decided to go back to their tent.

"You know you can stay more if you want to..." Sara noted. Brett, Rob and their girlfriends were still out there, even Ted was still out there.

"Nah... I'm good for tonight." Tegan said. She leaned to grab a kiss from her girlfriend's lips as they were slowly walking back to their camp spot. She was already thinking how much they would have the camp spot just to themselves. Sara gently leaned her head on her shoulder and Tegan in turn wrapped her arm around her back.

Well it seemed the first day of the festival had taken its toll on Sara who was pretty tired, not to mention a bit dizzy, so they didn't really get to take advantage of the small time window they had alone at the camp to fool around in the tent, the young artist falling asleep pretty fast even with all the commotion still outside.

\----------

The next day she got to be side-stage to see Tegan play together with the rest of the band, on the same stage she and Tegan got to see Julia Holter the other day. So that was pretty cool... For Tegan it felt pretty amazing. She couldn't have asked for anything better. Well, maybe the main stage, but that was like a goal for the next years and she was pretty confident some day they would get to rock on it. The whole set had gone pretty good, even if Carmen had a bit of a problem with one foot that she somehow managed to hurt last night. Thankfully she pulled the whole thing off without much problem though.

Later that night they all came together to see on the main stage a band that they pretty much were all fans of, especially Ryan and Ted; -the French electro-pop act M83.  
Ryan and Ted together with Brett and Brooke preferred to go experience the performance from the front-stage area, while the others were watching the show from the less cluttered elevated lawn.  
Tegan and Sara were comfortably sitting on the grass more towards the back, somewhere close to the top of the gorge, with Rob and Larisa sitting near by to their left and Carmen and Elliot just in front of them. Well the wind that got stronger later on in the day was making things a bit less comfortable and Tegan was almost regretting they weren't down there in the crowd too. But they came prepared with blankets, and she could hold Sara there in her arms like that so it was all good.

"You' good like this? I don't know how much you can see though, if anything." Tegan who now had the blanket draped over her back and shoulders asked her girlfriend who was sitting kinda sheltered in to her arms with her back resting on her, and also sitting a bit lower so Tegan could see over her.

"I don't really need to see much anyway... i'm enjoying just hearing them live like this while having you here with me."

"Awww, that's sweet." the 28 year-old voiced with a content smile. She leaned her head down to give Sara a soft kiss on the temple.  
"I love you."  
The young artist almost closed her eyes as she snuggled a bit more in to her chest.  
"Mmm, -i love you too."

\----------

 

The following day the wind didn't die out, but that didn't dampen the festival spirits. There were some technical difficulties that came with that for the bands to deal with and some even had to cancel.

This was a part of the group's last day here, even if the festival would go on for another day. Well Ted, Rob, Larisa and Carmen and her boyfriend would be staying until the end of it. But they all got to see The Cure play that night; it was a great way to culminate their 3 days experience together at this amazing festival.

"Remember you got that Cure vinyl that day at Carmen's work place, the day when i convinced you to give us a chance?"

"How could i forget." Sara said looking at her with a innocent smile.

"Good, cos i'm taking the credit for you getting that vinyl, just saying." Tegan made the remark in her usual joking manner.

_______________

 

_Sara was feeling somewhat tired from running around the forest with her new friends. Well not literally running, more like just moving along through the pretty breathtaking pristine landscape. It was like there was so much stuff to see. Last time she was here she merely began to explore the place with her strange animal companions that seemed to want to lead the way and somehow guide her through it, just like they were doing now. They were already in that forest for what seemed quite some time now, though she really couldn't tell, Sara getting to see a small but really beautiful waterfall and some pretty big and old looking trees.  
Sara never thought Holiday would make this much sense as a outdoorsy cat._

_"Baby i kinda need to rest a bit." she stopped to sit on a piece of wood. The other spirit animals were not to far away, even though she couldn't see all of them at that point. She could see a bit further away through the trees the wolf playfully teasing the bear; he didn't seem to mind though; they seemed to play like that quite alot. She knew the eagle was somewhere in the trees.  
Holiday walked back near her feet, staring up at her. Sara leaned down to take her in her arms._

_"Is this what you want? Hm?" she said softly.  
She was kinda surprised she just then realized that the piece of wood she was resting on was a chopped tree stump. A pretty big one too._

_"Hmm..." Sara voiced as she lightly traced a hand over the flat area on which she was sitting on. She noticed that just by doing that she started to feel some mild but sharp pain in her chest. That was enough to make her stand up again, a bit scared. Holiday who jumped down from her lap then started moving forward, not even looking back at her. Sara could see some kind of a clearing in the direction she was heading so she closely followed after her._

_When she eventually got there it was actually a unpaved country road. And on the other side of the road there were even more tree stumps, remains of cut down trees. Quite a few of them actually. The horse spirit was there too, just grazing some grass in the open space. Holiday crossed the road and headed to the tree stumps to jump playfully from one to another._

_Sara was hesitant to cross that road. Then she started to hear some engine noises getting closer and just a few seconds later a old 4x4 pick-up came in to view. It looked quite familiar and Sara had no problem recognizing it and the people inside once it stopped close to her.  
First to get out and walk over to her was Tegan._

_"Hey! We've been looking for you." As she said that Sara noticed her girlfriend didn't seem at all worried.  
"What have you been up to?" she added, still with a smile on her face. Sara found herself not knowing what to say. She was really happy to see Tegan here, but even more happy and intrigued to see that her father was with her too._

_"My dad is here...?" she asked quietly and a bit confused._

_"Well yeah... He drove me here. He knew we would find you here." Tegan said like it was something just so normal._

_"Dad? I can't believe that you are actually here." Sara voiced as her confusion kinda let way to happiness and excitement. Her father didn't walk over to her like Tegan did, instead he was standing with that familiar smile by the front of the car, the pick-up truck that he had ever since she was just a kid. She had many memories riding with him in that truck._

_"Well, believe it. Me and Tegan have come to take you home."  
No hugs, no anything... Sara thought. She was distracted by some noise, then she looked to her left to where it came from to see the bear and the wolf coming out of the woods and walking closer kinda to inspect the new humans and the truck._

_"Wow! This are so cool!" Tegan said lightly thrilled while looking at both of them. She wasn't scared or anything._

_"I know, right!?" Sara seemed more excited for them to see and acknowledge the magical animals than they apparently were. Kinda strange.  
"They are like my new friends, all of them." she added while looking back on the other side of the road at the horse spirit and then to Holiday who was still there._

_"You know... the truck is big enough for all of them. Maybe they want to come home with us." her father pointed out with a smile._

_"Home..." Sara voiced.  
Before she could say anything the bear already climbed up in the truck bed, followed almost immediately by his more cautious friend the wolf._

_"Oh look at that." her dad noted._

_The truck barely shook as the spirit horse jumped in the trunk in one graceful leap, joining the others too. He was pretty small though, just like them. But still, it was like they were light as feathers._

_"Holiday, come." Sara called the cat and soon she was in her arms and they were all in the car, ready to go._

_"Oh! There was another one." Sara remembered. "A eagle."_

_Her dad smiled kinda sothingly looking at her from the driver's seat. "Well we can't really search for him can we? He probably would have come by now to join his friends if he wanted to."_

_"I don't know. -I guess ..." Sara said, feeling kinda strange and sad, like she was leaving something behind._

_"Don't worry Sare. He's just a bird. He'll be fine." Tegan added putting on a smile._

_"My bird." she voiced quietly a bit lost in thought while petting Holiday lightly.  
The sound from the engine starting pulled her out._


	41. Chapter 41

The next morning Sara decided she would tell Tegan about the dream that she had, but she thought it would be best to mention it later on in the day, as for now they had to go meet up with some of their friends for some coffee and breakfast. It was just the 2nd day after the rest came back from Sasquatch. It was a really fun time for all of them who were there, and now the festival blues was slowly being dusted off, and Cast The Sails had other festivals to attend in just a few days anyway.  
Carmen and Ted who were there got to fill them in on what they missed out on from the last day of the festival. It wasn't much. Reminiscing over the music festival was pretty much the main topic of conversation needless to say.

After breakfast Sara had to drop by her warehouse as per usual, so Tegan joined her and drove them there.  
Sara considered telling her about her dream on the way there, but decided to hold back for a better time. She was really anxious and kinda nervous to tell her about it, more than she expected. So much so that Tegan even noticed something was up with her. She was kinda quiet at the coffee house too.

After checking on her business at the warehouse Sara and Tegan drove to a casual restaurant on the east side of the city to have some lunch.  
As they were waiting for their food Sara thought it was a good time as any to tell her girlfriend about her two strange dreams. She figured she should let some details out nevertheless, like the part with that pain she felt when she touched that cut down tree stump.

\---  
"So just like that, you all got in to that car and left?"

"Yeah... pretty much. Nothing happened after that; i just woke up, i guess. I didn't even know where we were going; only that he said _home_ and i didn't really think twice, for some reason." Sara said.

"Yeah, probably cause it was your dad, whom you haven't really seen in years." Tegan noted.  
"So... what do you make of it all?" she added, switching her attention for one moment back to her plate.

"I don't know... I mean it obviously has something to do with my stupid painting..." Sara voiced.

"Hey! It's not stupid! You obviously put your heart in to it." Tegan pointed out. "And i think it's cool that it somehow triggered a dream like that. From what you described it was a really fascinating one, and somehow introspective."  
"Maybe it's something, right? Who knows." Tegan said with a sympathetic expression.  
"Maybe it would even help me figure out my own strange dreams more." she added with a light smile.

__________

The following days nothing much happened, and less than a week later Cast the Sails were back on tour again across the US, and they would be on the road for another stretch of about 3 weeks, getting to play at Bonnaroo and Firefly music festivals, among some few other smaller shows all around the country.  
Sara thought that she wouldn't feel so much the strain by now of most of her friends together with Tegan being gone, since she pretty much kinda got used to it. And she did manage to make some few other friends there over the course of more than a year of living in the city.  
The 2nd night after they left on tour Sara's dream came back.

 

 _She now found herself on the bench seat of her father's truck, sitting between him and Tegan, just like somehow where they left off the last time, driving along. Everything felt strangely right in place, even with the odd magical animals in the back of the truck, sitting mostly quiet and undisturbed by anything like some well behaved pets; it kinda felt like she was on some kind of road trip, or coming back from one. And the luminous Holiday was resting peacefully in her lap, just like she was used to her doing, still emanating some kind of tranquil warmth that she could feel soothing her body and mind. Sara looked to her left at her dad driving and he in turn shifted his sight from the road a bit to glimpse at her and at Holiday with a warm smile. She smiled back contently. Then she decided to lean on Tegan's shoulder as she fell back in to a hazy slumber under the sound of the car rolling along. Everyone was so oddly quiet. Everything felt so quiet..._  
\---

_"How long have we been driving?" she asked almost as soon as she got pulled back in. She couldn't tell for how long she was out. Looking through the windows of the moving car she could notice the familiarity of the now surrounding cityscape. It kinda looked like Seattle._

_"Eh... not much i'd say." her father replied with some delay and with his familiar smile.  
Sara looked more at the buildings around them, trying to get a better grasp of the place. Then she remembered the animals in the back of the truck and turned to look through the back window to see if they were still there. And a smile blossomed on her face upon seeing that they were indeed still there, all 3 of them accounted for._

_"This kinda looks like Seattle. That's what you meant by home?" she thought to ask her dad._

_"Yeah baby it's our home." Tegan answered looking at her with a light smile._

_"Um... So does that mean you will be staying here too, dad?" she turned to look again at her father. He didn't say anything or even turn his head to look back at her, not like he didn't hear her, more like holding back from answering her question.  
"Dad...?"_

_"I don't know Sara... I honestly want to stay; but you know how i feel about that."  
"You know what? Why don't we leave the car somewhere around here and walk to your place; maybe we can talk more about it on the way there, okay?"_

_Just shortly after they found a space in a small and pretty empty parking lot, in what looked like a pretty remote part of town that Sara wasn't really familiar with._

_"I'm afraid i don't know this place too much; I'm not sure i can find the way to my neighborhood from here." she said as they all got out of the car._

_"Don't worry Sare, i think i know the way. I know the city way better than you remember?" Tegan pointed out, getting closer to her to somehow reassure her.  
The mysterious animals got off too, a bit hesitant. Sara was observing their reaction. They looked kinda lost and the light that was emanating from them a bit extinguished._

_"You think they will follow me?"_  
_Tegan didn't say anything._  
_But Sara got her answer soon enough, as the horse spirit was the first to run away, galloping as fast as he could towards a distant park area until he was totally out of sight. Before Sara could react in any way she saw the bear walk hurriedly to a close by sewage drain on the side of the street and just like that he disappeared in to it, morphing in to a non-solid form to fit effortlessly through the small metal rails. The wolf spirit was already off in another direction, and stopped just for a moment in front of a near by old wall filled with graffiti before jumping directly in to it and just as miraculously infusing in to the old and cluttered graffiti writing and drawings until there wasn't any trace that resembled him._

_"Oh my god; what just happened?" Sara said somewhat alarmed and confused. Everything happened so fast that she didn't know how to react to it all. "They're just... gone." She felt a wave of cold and sadness come in a surprising way over her._

_"Holiday? Where, -where is she?"  
"Holiday?"_

_"Babe look up there." Tegan voiced as she motioned towards a near by tall tree. Sara shifted her sight from her to the tree and then to one of the lower branches on which it wasn't hard to spot a luminous owl. She remembered that it was actually a owl that shape-shifted and turned in to Holiday when she first found that totem. No more than a couple of seconds after she spotted her the owl flew away from the tree, somewhere towards the roof of some tall buildings, she too disappearing out of sight._

_"Why did she leave like that?" the 31 year-old said, her gaze still stuck looking slightly up in that direction, still scanning for her._

_"She will come back, right? Tegan? She will come back to me; they will all come back right?" Sara was getting even more sad and she felt almost like she was on the brink of crying._

_"Um, i don't know honestly; -don't look at me." her girlfriend said somewhat surprised by the question, and apparently not affected much by what just happened._

_Sara turned her attention to her father.  
"Dad?" she asked in a sad tone._

_"I'm sorry darling."_  
_"Look, let's get out of here too, ok? We have quite some way to walk."_  
_"Come." Just like that her father turned and was already walking away from the small parking lot.  
She hesitantly started walking in his direction too, with Tegan just a few steps in front of her._

_______________

"I don't know; I think i should maybe modify it..."

"Modify it? What? No! Don't change it..." Tegan said with a bit of a frown looking at her through the laptop screen. They were on Skype and they were just talking about Sara's painting, after she told her moments earlier about her last dream that she had the other night.  
"Besides, -that painting is beautiful and i really like it the way it is." the 28 year-old added with a cute childish expression.

"Ok, -I won't change it." Sara noted with a light smile.

"Umm, -does this scare you...? I mean the fact that you had this 3 dreams like this in a pretty short amount of time..." her girlfriend asked lightly.

"No... I don't think so... But it did kinda sadden me, just a bit. Y'know; the fact that my dad was there and stuff like that." Sara said a bit reflective.

"Yeah, i know." Tegan held back from mentioning anything about her mother, even though it was all kinda obvious.

"You think i should maybe try to find that car park spot where my dream ended?" Sara asked not really serious, but mostly to hear her girlfriend's opinion.

"Nah. I don't think that will really help with anything, even if you do manage to find it."

"I really wish i was there to comfort you though." Tegan added looking at her with her puppy eyes.

"I knooow. I already miss you." Sara voiced, resting the side of her face on one of her palms in a gloomy manner. But she still had a cute smile on her lips that melted Tegan every time.

"I will be thinking about that smile tonight when i will be on stage here at Bonnaroo." the 28 year-old pointed out somewhat playfully with a dreamy smile of her own while getting even closer to the screen.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, i m aware that there was a(small'ish) time placement mistake about the band's european tour and T&S celebrating their 1st anniversary together. I have no idea how it slipped past me and why i didn't catch it earlier... I feel bad about it, and i'm sorry readers. I kinda edited and fixed it, for what is worth.

Sara was standing with her back turned to the big window through which sunny afternoon light was beautifully illuminating the small painting studio space, with her arms casually folded at her chest and looking at her painting that she thought to put back on the easel so she could have a better visual grasp of it. She hadn't really looked at it in more than a month now, since the time Tegan came back from the band's european tour. She was somehow searching to remind herself on how this particular paining, the last one she did, managed to make her have those dreams that she had. And she couldn't help to wonder if this painting and those dreams were some kind of signs of some sort.  
All she could see when she looked at the totem like representation were those mystical animals that just got swallowed by the city in her last dream. It seemed to her that maybe they were just somehow guiding her all along, even when they got in to her father's truck with her.

__________ 

It was getting close to the end of this US summer tour for Cast the Sails and the guys were in Minneapolis. They just wrapped their show at a club venue and now they were just spending more of the night at that location, doing some unwinding. Everything was pretty much on the house for them and they weren't in any rush to leave and head to their boring motel rooms. It was not like they got to do this often after a show anyway. There was definitely no shortage of alcohol. Even Tegan who managed to stay away from this kind of thing lately got pretty drunk.

"I wish Sara was here to see your face." Ted pointed out to her in a joking manner, his face noticeably lit from the alcohol too. Him, Tegan, Brett and Carmen were just kinda chilling together at their corner booth, while Ryan and their tour manager were chatting with some other people at another table.

"Yeah... she would probably be cool with it." Tegan replied, with her thoughts flying to her girlfriend.

"I think the most important thing that we sort of learned on this tour is that there is like' a actual and probably _growing_ fan base of fangirls that apparently swoon over Tegs. More power to the band!" Carmen noted kinda jokingly and a bit sarcastic, she being probably the least drunk of them. Tegan was still in her drunken thoughts that she didn't even react much to that statement other than with a light chuckle; it was so not like her.

"Well come on, -it's Tegs." Brett added nonchalantly, then took another sip of his glass. Tegan still had her mind on Sara.

"I m actually concerned about Sara." she voiced bluntly.

"Why? Because of the fangirls?" Carmen was fast to ask, almost letting out a chuckle.

"Like, -she was telling me she was having this strange dreams... You know..." Tegan was starting to say things that were kinda lingering on her mind the last couple of weeks, and probably more than she should without even realizing it cause of her drunken haze. This time Carmen didn't make any remark , instead her expression turned more serious while looking at Tegan who was trying to find more of her thoughts.  
"Got me a bit worried." Tegan was almost mumbling, looking down at the table.

"Like what? Like, dreams about guys, or what?" Brett asked a bit mockingly.  
Only at that point Tegan kinda started to realize that she was almost about to bring up Sara's curse problem to Brett and Ted who didn't know. And Carmen noticed that before her. Tegan made eye contact with her, then looked at Brett with a lightly annoyed smirk.

"Nah. More like flying cats and stuff."  
"You know what, never mind. Forget i even mentioned that." she said before almost downing the rest of her gin glass.

\---  
A bit later and Tegan was feeling kinda sick from all the drinking. She couldn't say that she managed to forget that feeling she was so familiar with only a couple of years ago. Even the vague thought surfaced that maybe if she didn't have Sara, would she have been doing _this_ more often?

"Mmm, -I don't feel too good." Tegan voiced, still finding it all a bit amusing.

"We are going back to the motel. I think we had enough for today." Carmen said. The other guys were around too, already getting ready to leave.

"Tegan if you need any help just know that i m here and i can call Ryan for you to like' give you a piggyback ride to our bus or whatever." Brett pointed out, him probably being just as drunk as her.

"Thanks Brett. A true friend az always."

"You got-it." he added.

"Okay, let me help you up." Carmen put a steady arm around her and helped her sit up from the booth sofa and lean some of her weight on her.  
"Careful now."

"I kinda need to go to the bathroom real quick..." Tegan noted with a tipsy smile and her eyes almost closed.

"Okay; i'll come with you then."

\-------  
When they got back at the motel Tegan fell asleep pretty fast.  
Her alcohol buzz apparently caused her to have some kind of flashback dream to some years ago. She found herself at this somehow familiar location, some kind of house party. It was familiar because she was actually there a few times in her younger years, back when she was in her first band. It was Dave's house, a friend of the band.  
_She didn't get to talk at all with anyone there, almost like she was a ghost, even though she did notice some of her old friends there, some of who didn't even live in Seattle anymore. The feeling of drunkenness was in sync even in her dream. The empty bottles of mostly beer littered the tables._  
_Tegan was actually feeling kinda good, despite the odd fact that no one actually came to talk to her. She was kinda liking this familiarity; well not the thing that no one was interacting with her, that was pretty strange but she couldn't really be bothered._  
_She spotted Rob from where she was sitting, he was a bit further away, standing near the main living room door and apparently chatting with few other people. He was not hard to spot cause he was pretty tall._

_"Rob..." She thought to get up and go talk to him. But then someone walked close to her chair before she even got to stand up properly._

_"So... I was actually really in to this girl that played in this band, i thought she was pretty bad-ass."_

_Tegan rested back down on her chair as she found it hard to believe that Lisa and Charlotte were standing right in front of her.  
"Oh my god; you guys!..." she voiced surprised and in a sympathetic tone, looking up at both of their faces that she missed so much. She almost wanted to hug them._

_"But then i fell in love with this other girl at one of their shows; so that was pretty sweet." Lisa added as she turned her head to look at her girlfriend right in the eyes with a honest and kinda flirtatious smile._

_"Wait. What? You didn't tell me you like, had a crush on me." Tegan said a bit amused._

_"Well, i kinda did. But kinda thanks to you i found the love of my life." the girl continued then her and Charlotte shared a cute short kiss._

_"I can't believe you guys are here though. Wait. -What's happening?" Tegan pointed out somewhat confused._

_"Why wouldn't we be here? It's a nice party, cool people, pretty good music, lots of alcohol..." Charlotte stated seemingly a bit surprised by the question._

_"I guess we... kinda wanted to thank you." Lisa said with a light smile.  
"Anyway; you look pretty wasted though." she noted half-jokingly._

_"Shit. I did get pretty drunk..."_  
Just by remembering that something triggered in Tegan's mind, as she got pretty suddenly pulled back from her dream, before she could get to talk with Lisa and Charlotte any more. She wished she could have at least mentioned Sara to them, to somehow see if this had any kind of connection with her other dreams.

____________

 

Few days latter Tegan and the band were back home.

"So i kinda forgot to ask you; did you burn that painting?" Tegan asked jokingly while they were in her car, driving to a diner to have some breakfast, the first they would have together since she came back from tour.

"Burn it? Now what would make you think that?" Sara knew it wasn't actually a serious question, but still she was kinda intrigued by it.

"I'm sorry babe. I guess i shouldn't have joked about that. You did say those dreams made you somewhat sad."

"Yeah but they were just some dreams." Sara voiced a bit pensive. "And besides, i don't have to hate something just cos it made me sad."

"Did you have any more of them?" Tegan asked casually.

"No; -not that it matters."

____________

 

Sara's back hit the soft bed as she let her partially dressed body fall freely on to the white sheets after Tegan just lightly pushed her on to it. The 28 year-old looked down at her from the side of the bed with a content smile, having on just a lose neckline brown t-shirt and some black boyshort briefs. Sara had a cute and seductive smile on her face too, looking straight back at her. She was in a light grey tee and some pink and white striped boyshorts, that probably wouldn't stay on for long. Especially judging by Tegan's desire and thirst to make love to her. They didn't get to be intimate like this in almost a month so they both were lustful for each other.  
Tegan didn't waste much time to get on top of her, her left hand going underneath Sara's t-shirt and on to the side of her abdomen and her ribs while her other hand found and held her left leg up by the thigh while they were kissing passionately. The 31 year-old let out a pleased hum at her girlfriend delicate touch on the side of her body. She put her left leg over Tegan's right that was situated between hers as her girlfriend freed her hand from it, preferring to move it up to her neck and jaw now.

"No toys tonight babe. Okay?" Tegan said in a somewhat husky voice, propping her body on her right elbow and catching her breath a bit. She just wanted to really feel Sara, but she was up for anything if she desired.

"Mmm, oke." Sara voiced with a sweet smile, then moved to lightly bite and suck on her girlfriend lower lip.  
"Now... let's get this off..." she continued before moving her hands to the base of her girlfriend's t-shirt. Tegan lifted her body slightly up so she could facilitate Sara's removal of it and expose her bare breasts. She leaned down for another deep and sensual kiss.

"Your turn." she noted with a soft smile after parting their lips.  
Tegan shifted a bit and positioned herself better so now she was straddling Sara properly then she got straight to removing her grey tee. She couldn't wait to arouse her girlfriend more by teasing those beautiful breasts. She had waited so long for this and now all she wanted to do was cherish every inch of Sara's body. And at the same time she wanted to get lost in their fervent passion, thing she knew for certain Sara had for her, which in turn made her feel it stronger than with any other girl she had ever been with.  
\-------

Sara rested her somewhat sweaty head on the pillow next to the one Tegan was resting facing up, who was gradually getting down from her high. Sara was facing her with a light smile, she was obviously enjoying the sight of her girlfriend so blissfully satisfied, especially after Tegan was so passionately dedicated to making her feel on cloud 9 a bit earlier.

"You make wonders with that sweet mouth, and that tongue play..." Tegan added before turning her head to face and smile back at her.

"Well thanks. You do it better though. I kinda tried to learn from you; even though that might seem weird, kinda. Is it?"

"You are just adorable!" the young musician noted with a cute expression, a bit amused by her girlfriend.

"Oh, shut up." Sara retorted jokingly. Tegan then responded to her light annoyance by moving closer and stealing a short teasing kiss from her lips. After she rested back on her pillow she moved her hand to Sara's upper arm, tracing circles and spirals delicately on it and on her shoulder, focusing her sight on her girlfriend's porcelain skin that contrasted so beautify with her black and grey tattoos even in the dim light.

"What are you thinking of?" Sara softly voiced after just a few seconds.

"Hmm..." Tegan sighed lightly.  
"I was thinking i kinda want you to take a trip with me, to visit my mom back in Portland."  
"it's just an idea. I mean i can understand if you wouldn't want to come, and why." Tegan said still drawing with her fingers on her skin, but now focusing her sight on her girlfriend's eyes.


	43. Chapter 43

After a few days and after properly discussing it Sara agreed to come with Tegan to Portland to visit her mother.  
The 28 year-old hadn't visited her mother in almost 2 years. But really the main reason she wanted to visit was to see if there was actually anything to what Sara was saying about her impediment to get like more than 300 miles or so away from Vancouver due to the curse. Portland was about 260 miles away but still.  
Tegan assured her that they would turn back as soon as something would start to happen with her, and she would just tell her mother that they had to cancel because Sara was feeling sick all of a sudden.

So far so good; they were almost there and Sara didn't feel any signs that would indicate that something would be out of place with her, not even a light headache.

"So Trevor is pretty cool... i mean, me and him don't really talk that much, but like, we don't really have to." Tegan was telling her about Lucinda's boyfriend that lived with her. Her mom never got remarried after she and Tegan's dad got divorced 16 years ago.  
"You probably must think that i'm a pretty bad daughter, not visiting my mom for all this time, and after all she's done for me and all the help she gave me." Tegan added as they were driving along with the city already in sight.

"Nah... I don't think that at all. I saw that you guys are pretty chill with each other when she visited last year." Sara said with a light smile.

"The fact that i have you gives me like a extra reason to visit i guess, and makes it feel more cool probably."

"Yeah. Fingers crossed that nothing bad will actually happen with me so it won't be less cool." Sara noted.

"Hey; don't think about it ok? Everything will be fine." Tegan voiced softly, looking for a few seconds at her to give her a reassuring smile.

 

They arrived at the suburban house about 30 minutes later. This wasn't Tegan's childhood house, since her mother sold that when she moved to Seattle with her when she was just 14. But it was somewhat similar though. Lucinda greeted them with open arms and made them feel right at home. They had a pet too, a beautiful chocolate color labrador named Yorkie. He was friendly and really excited too see visitors.

"He doesn't bark much. He sometimes just stares silently at squirrels and birds in the backyard." Lucinda said.

A bit later and Tegan went to the backyard with him, since the weather outside was really nice, and also she decided to let Sara spend some alone time with Lucinda. They were in the kitchen conversating along and Tegan was kinda feeling good about the potential possibility that Sara might even warm up to her mom to see her as some kind of mother figure she didn't have.  
She let the dog stay more outside and do his thing while she went back inside and started lightly inspecting the living room more, stopping to look at some old framed pictures, some of them of her when she was much younger, while Sara was still in the kitchen with her mother, probably even helping her out with the food.

Eventually the 3 of them had lunch together and they had time to catch up on even more stuff, Tegan getting to tell her mother all about the _fun_ of touring and of course more about Europe too. Lucinda's boyfriend Trevor was still at work and he would not be coming home before 6. He worked as a engineer and project planer with the local water company.

 

A bit later the two decided to go out so Tegan could show Sara more of the city. After that was done they eventually stopped at a cozy coffee shop in the north-west part of town.

"From what i've heard they even occasionally have live music here." Tegan pointed out about the place while they were waiting for the coffee and some home-made cinnamon rolls.

"I love this place. Look, they even have some kind of mini library there." Sara said delighted after scanning around a bit.

"Cool; so you can grab a book while you enjoy your drink. I knew you would like it here." Tegan noted with a smile.

Sara started scrolling through her phone. Tegan knew she was probably just checking her website and her social media and mail. Few moments later their drinks and baked goods arrived.

 

"So, umm, this is all going pretty good..." the 28 year-old noted kinda suggestively.

"You mean the fact that i wasn't _affected_ by anything." Sara voiced. Tegan was quiet for a few seconds.

"You said you haven't experienced that kind of stuff in almost 3 years. Maybe it's just gone or something." she said a bit apprehensive.

"I don't know." her girlfriend pondered. "I kinda tested it pretty carefully over the years since i started to be aware of it, enough to not just dismiss it like this. The distance the pain stuff started to manifest was close to this, but probably bigger..."

"Yeah, but you said you never went this far south. Maybe it's something..." Tegan added, taking another sip of her cup.

"So what are you saying; -that we should test that out while we are here?" Sara questioned, a bit bothered that Tegan needed some kind of convincing on the matter.

"I don't know." Tegan didn't really know what to say. She was caught between Sara's potential safety and her own curiosity.

"I'm really surprised how you managed to keep all this from your last girlfriend. I mean, i know you've been together for like 3 years; i'm sure there were times when she wanted you to jump in a plane and travel with her." she inquired.

"I told you... it was really hard. I even had to make up stuff that i had flight phobia. And not just for her, for everyone. I always had to make up stuff. Lindsey was the only one that understood."  
"It was almost like an additional torture, and i kinda don't want to talk about that anymore."

Tegan acknowledged that and kinda backed off, even if she was still interested to know more details. They already had discussed stuff about the distance problem and how Sara took travels alone and with Lindsey just to explore this aspect of the curse -on the drive to Portland, and even days before, so that Tegan could somehow understand the matter better. Nevertheless it was still really hard to believe.

 

A bit later on they drove back to Lucinda's house. It was already early evening. When they arrived Sara got to meet Trevor, as he was already home when they came back. It was a bit awkward, but he was pretty easy-going. They got to chat a bit while Lucinda was preparing dinner. He was actually really supportive and interested about Tegan's musical thing.

After dinner Tegan and Sara headed with their wine grasses to the backyard to just chill a bit under the night sky, -it was the middle of the summer anyway.

"Tegan, stop! You almost made me spill my glass." Sara voiced quietly and a bit bothered but still with a grin on her face after her girlfriend almost leaned on her to kiss her on the base of her ear and neck. They were sitting on the wooden outdoor chairs next to each other. But Tegan didn't stop.  
"Your mom's boyfriend might be walking in here and see us." she added, but not being able to hide her smile.

"Mm, so what?" Tegan pulled back a bit, her smile still firm on her lips.

"Don't you think that would be _a little_ awkward?"

"Maybe. But who cares. We're in love; this is totally cool."  
"Now, let me see how this wine tastes better on your lips."  
Sara put her glass down next to her chair and leaned more towards Tegan as they started kissing without much constraints.

They made out a bit more up in the guest room where they were staying for the night before giving in to a peaceful sleep.

\-------

"Morning." Tegan voiced as she sat down on the side of the bed in which Sara was still lying, half of her body still under the white sheets because she just woke up a few minutes ago.

"Mm, morning." Sara hummed as they parted their lips from a short kiss.  
She was now resting her back on her pillow against the headboard.

"Sleep well?" Tegan asked with a smile.

"Yeah. Like a baby." Sara said still a bit sleepy.

"Good. I must admit, i was a bit worried." her girlfriend noted with her full attention still on her. Sara knew what she meant by that, and she would have lied if she said she wasn't too.

"Well, i'm fine; no need to worry." she reassured her. Tegan gently put her right hand on her chin as to lightly direct and hold her in another more savory kiss.

"You should get dressed so we can head downstairs for some breakfast. I told my mom to make the sweet kind of breakfast you like too." Tegan said, now finding with that same hand Sara's closest palm and gently stroking it with her thumb.

 

After they had breakfast with Tegan's mother it was kinda time to head back home.

 

"I really hope you will visit more often." Lucinda said as she hugged her daughter. "I'm sure you will find plenty of time between tours and stuff."

"Ok mom." Tegan replied with a warm smile.

"And Sara, take care of her, okay?" she then shared a hug with the young artist too.  
"And you are welcomed here any time darling, it was a pleasure having you two around."

"It was really good seeing you again mrs. Quin, and getting to meet Trevor, and Yorkie. Thank you for being so hospitable." Sara voiced amiably.

 

A moment later as they were driving away Tegan suggested they should drive by her old childhood house, just to see if it was all still there and show Sara where she grew up.  
\---

"So yup; this is where a legend was born." the 28 year-old said as they were standing in the parked car outside her old house. The house definitely looked a bit different than she remembered it, even a bit better.

"I bet you had many friends here; i mean, growing up a only child..." Sara voiced looking at the house through the car window.

"Hm, not really. I got all the attention i needed from mom and dad." Tegan noted somewhat jokingly.  
"I don't think i was even gay before i moved to Seattle." she added a bit reflective.

"I'm glad you moved, i guess." Sara said lightly with a cute smile.

 

Not long after they left that place Sara mentioned something she thought about since yesterday.  
"So, i was thinking we should drive further south, like, to see what happens, if you are up for it."

"Sare... We don't have to do this cause of what i said, really."

"No, i want to do it. I want to see if anything at all will happen, or if it will be any difference." the 31 year-old pointed out. Tegan was silent for a moment to kinda process it all.


	44. Chapter 44

Tegan was ok with the idea of driving further south even if she was somewhat apprehensive. But if Sara could do this thing alone pretty safely as she said she'd done it before a few times, the 28 year-old had extra reason to believe everything would be alright no matter what would be the outcome. As long as they won't stay much there or head further away if something was to happen, as Sara told her.

And something was apparently starting to happen, not much longer after they got on the interstate and started heading towards Salem. They must have been just about 20 minutes drive south of Portland when Sara started to have some headaches. She let Tegan know about it as soon as it got pretty clear.

"Is this how it always started? How you always started feeling it?" Tegan asked clearly worried now.

"Yeah... I told you. I would have mild headaches like this, at start; then it would gradually get worst and worst the further away i would get."  
"I usually would turn around when it would get pretty unbearable, and turn back before i could let it get too bad, for the sake of my safety. And i saw it _could_ get pretty bad. Like almost having asthma attacks bad, or almost not being able to drive bad. Good thing Lindsey was with me a few time; she would be even more confused than i was." a trace of a smile formed on Sara's face for a moment a she reminisced that.  
"The headaches would become so unbearable that i actually feared for my life... and yeah it didn't take many experiences like this for me to think and be pretty convinced the curse kinda had everything to do with it, i mean, what else could be there that could trigger things like this for me? So yeah, i did fear for my life every time, so i turned back, before i could be unable to drive back on my own or something."  
Tegan took all that in while driving along. Sara had already kinda explained about this stuff to her before.

"So what now? Are you sure that this is the same thing? Does it get worst fast?"  
Sara turned her head to look at her kinda sad and let out a light sigh.

"Well as long as we are here, i can get pretty sure that this is the same thing just by driving further away. So we should probably keep going."

"Sare... I..." Tegan voiced concerned but her girlfriend didn't let her finish.

"They're just headaches. I'm pretty sure i'll be fine."  
"Besides; i got you; -and this painkillers; though i hope i won't actually need more than a aspirin." Sara pointed out with a light smile. She almost always had some painkillers with her just in case.

 

As closer they got to Salem the worst things seemed to get for Sara. In just about 15 more minutes of driving the headaches got rapidly worst, and Tegan could see that too. She didn't really have a fever or anything; it was really unexplainable and it was too accurate to what Sara describe for it to be just a coincidence. And there was no way Sara was faking it either.  
She could see it in Sara's breathing, her slight paleness; and Tegan didn't want to let it get any worst.

"Ok that's it, we're turning back now." she said firmly. She turned the car at the next junction.

"-Shit. I guess this must be real too." she voiced a bit mad at herself cause she somehow pushed this, and mad at this twisted curse situation with Sara. Her girlfriend wanted to say something, wanted to say that everything is and will be ok, but she didn't, partly because she was to busy holding back tears that were actually not caused by the pain and discomfort she was in but by something else.

 

As Sara's state gradually got better Tegan decided they should stop at a diner just off the highway somewhere outside Portland. They would still have a almost 3 hours drive to Seattle.  
Sara was really quiet since they turned back, but it seemed like her headaches were almost gone and not bothering her too much any more. Tegan reached for one of her hands over the table where they were sitting and waiting for their order.

"Hey..." she voiced with a soft expression, searching in Sara's eyes that were avoiding hers. "This doesn't change anything, not for me." Sara was looking down at her girlfriend's hands reaching out and holding her right hand delicately a bit lost and sad. Tegan was quiet for a moment, looking at their hands too.  
"I love you." she stated quietly, reassuringly. This caused Sara's eyes to look at her for a moment, then she got her other hand from under the table and placed it in turn over one of Tegan's hands, rubbing it lightly with her thumb.

"I love you too. You are just... so amazing. You are more than i could ever ask for." she voiced as a light smile blossomed on her lips. Her sight still preferred to focus on their hands rather than Tegan's eyes a she said that, but her girlfriend didn't have any doubt of her honesty.

____________

Some rather laid back days followed, though it was kinda hard for Tegan to forget about what happened that day and about the curse, especially after Sara suffered another of those pain episodes, just the second one she witnessed from her this year. And this one was alot worst than the first one. Thankfully it started in the morning and not when she was out in town, and Tegan was there with her too. It took Sara almost all day to recover from it; she didn't leave the house.  
Tegan's normal instincts were screaming at her to take Sara to a hospital that day, but her suffering girlfriend reaffirmed to her that that would be no help for her. Tegan felt so powerless. She couldn't bare to see Sara having to deal with this kind of pain, and for no reason at all. _This was what she had to get used to..._  
And Sara would get somewhat closed up in herself for a couple of days after that, like she was ashamed of something, ashamed of her predicament. Is not that she was cold, but this was making it even harder for Tegan. But she said she wouldn't get fazed by this kind of stuff.

____________

"- I needed this so bad." Tegan was just telling Carmen as the two of them were sitting on her surfboard on the hot sand. Her beautiful brown hair was still a bit damp after just finishing a outing in the decently big waves some few minutes ago.  
"I felt like i was going crazy lately. This and the music are such good distractions. Good thing i have this." She and Carmen were both barefoot, she had on a cap, a black sleeveless tee and some denim shorts, while her friend was dressed down in a army green t-shirt and some white shorts.

"Yeah i feel you." Carmen lightly noted.  
"Like, we both wish there is something we can do, but there's not."

"Like, i feel so happy with her; but i think i'm afraid this thing will break me, you know?..." Tegan continued, referring to the curse. Carmen knew she was also hinting at the thing that she was already somewhat fragile from being kinda _broken_ before.

"Hey; i think Sara is pretty strong, she's probably held up through this stuff so many times over the years. Maybe that's all there is to it. This stuff didn't break her." As she finished saying that she turned to look behind her at the person they were talking about who was sitting on a small camping chair less than 10 meters away together with a few other people around including her boyfriend. Tegan turned to look at them too. Sara noticed and she beamed a smile at them. They were just sitting around under the two sun umbrellas lightly chatting and eating some sandwiches from what Tegan could tell. She got up and headed to them, followed by Carmen.

"Hey. Have a bite." Sara said with a light smile as she pointed her sandwich up towards her girlfriend as soon as they got there. Tegan couldn't refuse her so she leaned and took a bite, but not before turning her cap back.

"Mmm, this is real good." she said pleased before even finishing to chew.

"Well of course they are, cause Sara made them." Carmen noted. "Now, where is mine?"  
She sat next to her boyfriend after Sara pointed to her the small plastic box where the food was and she took out two sandwiches and gave Tegan one, who now settled down on the blanket too, next to Sara's chair.

"Au! Hey!..." the young artist lightly cried out annoyed after Tegan pinched one of her bare legs, and reflexively nudged her shoulder. Tegan didn't get to see her outdoors in shorts much.

"Ha, sorry." she said childishly.

They wanted to take full advantage of this warm summer days before the band would head back on tour, which they would do pretty soon at the end of July.

_______________

 

The morning after the band's fantastic Lollapalooza show in Chicago Tegan was just scrolling through her mail when some kind of newsletter caught her eye. Because it was from the Ancient Forest Alliance organization. She would rarely get any kind of mail from them, but the ones she did get she would always look into.

This one left Tegan cold. It was saying something about a large logging project in the Vancouver island area that got the clear and was due to start in less than two months.


	45. Chapter 45

It was a struggle for Tegan to focus on the music or much of anything else in the following days. Not long after she read that email she even contacted the ecological organization and got to talk with one of the founding members on Facebook about the matter. He informed her that the deforestation was not yet totally certain or unrepealable and that they will protest it the best they can, but it would be quite hard to turn this around. They had success in the years before in saving some threatened parts of the old growth forests through diplomacy and rallies, but they couldn't really protect it all from logging. And this one that got approved by the BC government was a pretty serious project, apparently they wanted to clear away a significant patch of forest that would give even more access to logging in the area in the future.  
Tegan didn't even know how she will tell this to Sara. All she had for now to confide to was Carmen.

"- I got to do something. I can't just let this happen and hope everything will be alright..." Tegan was telling her clearly affected but still trying to keep her tone down as they were in the back of the small bus that was driving along. She understandably didn't want the guys to hear.

"If only they actually knew... maybe they would actually stop this project then." Carmen noted. "I mean, I think they would even refuse to believe that even if they saw what was happening to her."

"But that stuff _is_ real; -I mean you believe it, right?"  
"I, -I got to show them her curse is real somehow! I got to stop this."

"What you have to do is talk to her first; and still hang in there for this tour." her friend pointed out trying to calm her a bit.  
The band still had over two weeks left from this tour, their last actual tour for this album, at least for this year.

_______________

 

A couple of weeks almost passed and Tegan still hadn't told Sara yet about that logging project in the forest she was so tied to. She thought to wait until she came back from tour to break the bad news.

Back in Seattle, Sara was just hanging around at her warehouse on the outskirts of Bellevue from where her small business was run. She was checking in on some orders and the products, just the usual stuff, and this time she had a visitor with her too, Rob's girlfriend Larisa. She was interested to see how the small apparel business worked and how they printed some of the stuff, which Sara and the few people that were working for her got to show her gladly. And apparently just in time, because Sara started to feel ill all of a sudden.  
After a short while she knew that it was because of the curse and she knew she had to get home pretty fast. Just a bit over a month had passed since the last one happened; it was pretty close.

"Maybe I should drive." Larisa offered as they walked to Sara's car.

"Hmm... Yeah, I guess I would have asked you if you would do that, I think just to be on the safe side, you know." the young artist replied. She wasn't feeling that bad yet, she knew to act fast when this kind of thing happened, even if it might seem pretty strange and confusing for anyone else around. Usually she would take a cab home if she felt she might not be able to drive safe to her place.

"You're sure you don't want me to drive you to a hospital? Is really not an issue with me..." Larisa said looking rather concerned at her from the driver's seat as they put on their seatbelts.

"No; no hospital please. It's fine... but thanks." Sara voiced, showing a light smile towards the end.

 

After about a 15 minutes drive they got to Sara's place. Of course Larisa had few more questions on the way there, it was the first time knowing about Sara's so called heart problems. So the 31 year-old told her pretty much what she would tell everyone, that she had some strange heart problems, and that she just needed her meds at home and some rest. Well it was more complicated with people that stuck around, like her past partners. Tegan was just the 2nd one of them who she had admitted about the curse, but she was the only one that actually believed her, and still stuck with her from the start.  
Sara didn't know how to tell Larisa she should leave, she didn't want to seem unappreciative.

"Nice place you have here." her friend noted politely as they walked in. She was holding a arm around Sara's back just to be sure.

"Thanks. If we ever need a good interior designer we know who to call." Sara said, tying to act as normal as she could, even though it was and it would probably get alot more difficult.

"Well I like the vibe of this, so I'd say you did _pretty_ good." Larisa added with a smile.  
"Oh! And this must be Holiday." Her smile grew more as she saw the gray cat walk towards them from one of the bedrooms, stopping to look at a both of them and greet with a few _meows_. "Hi baby! She is soo cute."

"Umm, want me to take you to your room?" she said as she walked Sara to the living room couch.

"No... Um, I need to go to the bathroom anyway, to... grab some of my meds." Sara noted as she sat back up from the couch.  
"Hey, like... You don't have to stick around for my sake; I will be ok really. You probably have other things to do anyway." she added casually as she just stopped for a moment close to the room's exit and looked sympathetically at Larisa.

"Nah, it's cool. I'll stick around for a bit." her friend said from the couch.

Sara closed the bathroom door behind her and quietly leaned her back on it, feeling somewhat drained and almost out of breath. She rested a bit like that for less than a minute, trying to recover more of her composure, then walked to the sink and started to look at her face in the mirror. She looked tired, dark circles around her eyes appearing more evident on her pale features. She wondered how much she could still make it seem everything was alright to Larisa; she wished her friend would just leave. She ran both palms on her bony cheeks then she decided to open her wall cabinet and retrieve some painkillers.  
After taking two and waiting a few more minutes in the bathroom she got back to the living room.

"Everything ok?" Larisa asked as soon as she walked back in the room.

"Oh, yeah..." Sara replied scrunching her face a bit, somewhat waving it off as she sat on the couch next to her. "I just, need some rest."  
"I took my meds; I should start to feel better."

"Okay good. Let me get up so you can lay down." Larisa added then sat up. Sara already leaned to try to take off her black ankle sneakers.

"Need any help with that?"

"Um, nah, -thanks, I got it." Sara said as she slowly pulled them off, but it was clear she had some trouble breathing right.

"Okay, I will go grab you a pillow and a blanket if I can find one..." her friend noted as she lay on the couch, Holiday walking close to it too, resting just bellow her hands and starting to just lightly clean herself.

Sara's heart was hurting and her head was throbbing too, like she was sadly used to when she was having on of this episodes; when that ancestral forest was being harmed. And there was no telling how long this one would last. There never was.

_______________

 

In just a few days Tegan and the band returned home to Seattle. Tegan was not looking forward to giving the bad news to Sara, but she had to do it and to somehow try to convince her to help her take some action against the logging problem.  
They took a flight from San Francisco, leaving their tour bus there with most of their heavier gear in the hands of their driver to bring it back home.

It was nice to find Sara waiting for them at the airport, together with some few other friends. No press for them or anything like that. Not that they actually wanted that. It was morning when they arrived, so Tegan had pretty much the whole day just to rest and get somewhat pampered by her girlfriend. Sara seemed more excited than ever to see her back from tour; maybe cause this was the band's last tour this year. Tegan told her more about the shows and the fans that came, -they did get to talk almost every day when she was on tour too.

Sara just came back from the kitchen after washing some dishes, even after Tegan insisted she would do it, walked directly to the couch and without any word or much hesitation, just her shy and playful expression, sat on her girlfriend's lap, straddling her legs. She let out a light hum through her closed-lip smile while adjusting better and holding eye contact with Tegan, her arms resting on her shoulders. Tegan didn't say anything either, she just sighed lightly while being unable to not smile back at her. She looked so cute with her hair up like that in a small ponytail.

"Hey." she voiced with a soft smile.

"Hey." Sara said back a bit more shyly.

Tegan moved her palms from her waist to her tight gray jeans and her bum. In response Sara leaned in for a tasty kiss.

"Sooo..." the 31 year-old voiced as she unbuttoned the 2nd of the three buttons of Tegan's striped t-shirt and proceeded to just fidget with the last one. "Want to do it right here on the couch, or should we go to the bedroom?"

"Wow, straight to the point hmm?"

"Are you still tired? You pretty much rested all day. I mean, I know it's kinda early but still." Sara said as she removed her hands from her girlfriend's t-shirt and put them around her neck. She didn't want it to seem like she was pushing it. If Tegan wasn't fully up for it and committed too there wasn't really much point. But she didn't know. For Tegan it wasn't really just cause she was still a bit tired. This would be like the night of love before the war.  
Tegan just smiled at her girlfriend's somewhat cute reasoning. _It was_ actually pretty early. Sara leaned in and their lips connect briefly for another soft kiss. After she fastly pulled away the young musician moved one of her hands up and delicately cupped Sara's jaw, making her smile even more. Then she moved that same hand to her ponytail and really carefully released her hair from it, letting it fall free on both sides of her face.

"I say, let's got to the bedroom."  
"But I don't think right now I can carry your beautiful ass there babe, so I won't even try."


	46. Chapter 46

Early the next morning, as the sun's light was protruding the quiet room even through the almost completely rolled down widow shades, and after a beautiful night of making love and just satisfying their body's yearning and desire for each other, Tegan was already fully awake even if her body was under the covers. She was on her back and facing upwards, somewhat lost in thought. Thoughts that didn't give her rest, about how and what she would say to Sara today. Of course Sara was still pretty sound asleep. She looked so peaceful and pretty happy even in her sleep.  
She had enough of just lying there like that so she steadily started to get out of bed. She didn't remove herself fully from it before leaning down to give her sleeping girlfriend a soft kiss on the cheek and one on the temple, stopping to take in a big soothing breath of her familiar scent between them.

 

A bit later on that day Tegan told Sara that she didn't really feel like going out and meeting with their friends, she already being around them every day for weeks on end lately. Instead she suggested the two of them should just go for a walk in the park, and Sara was ok with that. So they drove to the biggest and most majestic park in the city, Discovery Park.  
There Tegan confessed everything to her about the Vancouver island ambitious logging project, and something she probably dreaded even more, her plead that Sara should come there with her and try to reveal to the logging company and the Ancient Forest Alliance organization her curse in order to repeal the deforestation. She assured her that she didn't talk to any party or anyone about it yet, except for Carmen.

"-Tegan no. I don't want to expose you and your family, or the band for that matter to this. It's no way media won't be all over it." This was just one of Sara's refusals and her attempt to reason.

"It's your life we're talking about here! It's your chance to maybe end this, or at least most of it, think about it. Mediatization of this _thing_ wouldn't even matter that much in contrast to possibly saving your life. And I'm sure all the band would agree too if they knew."  
"We might even convince your father to come too and try to help; I mean, I'm pretty sure he would do it... With all his knowledge about it and all..." Tegan explained.

"It's no way this is going to work." Sara voiced as she looked in the distance at the peaceful tidal beaches in front of them and at the bay waters. But what Tegan said, especially the last part, did give her some extra food for thought on the matter. Tegan noticed it too and it kinda gave her some hope.  
Sara was definitely scared upon hearing about that stuff, even if she didn't really show it, and she definitely had alot to think about. Tegan gave her all the space she needed to take a decision, but time was at the essence.

\-----

 

The following day she confronted Tegan about it.

"It happened again you know; a few days before you guys came back from your tour." she said seemingly out of nowhere while they were having breakfast in the kitchen. She didn't look at Tegan while saying that, nor did she look at her initially confused expression as a result of what she just said. Her girlfriend didn't say anything, probably knowing what she meant and waiting for her to say more.  
"Like, it wasn't too bad; it wasn't as bad as the last one or others I guess." she added, moving her fork bluntly around in her half empty scrambled eggs plate. Tegan took a quiet sip of her coffee.  
Sara lifted her head up and let out a reflective light laugh.  
"Larisa was there when it started to happen. She was so cool about it though... like, not careless cool... Like, she even stayed with me at home for almost an hour."

"Well I'm glad someone was there for you."  
"I'm so sorry to hear that you had to go through another one of those, and so soon too. I mean, I know you told me it doesn't usually happen that often."

"Yeah; good thing it didn't last long. I had some last for two or three days, hours at a time. Was pretty bad."

"I can't imagine how horrible that must have felt." Tegan pointed out sad. She wanted to hold at least one of her girlfriend's hands right then.

"I decided I want to go along with your plan." Sara noted. Tegan didn't take her eyes off her.  
"But I want us to try the best we can to not involve media in to this."  
"Promise me that."

"I think that would be really hard to avoid; but yeah, I promise I will try my best for that not to happen." Tegan voiced calmly.  
"And thank you. I know it doesn't really show, but inside I feel really happy about that."  
"Also, you probably saved me the trouble of tying myself to some tree they would want to cut down in sign of protest; you know I would totally do that right?" she added somewhat jokingly.

"You're crazy." Sara showed a first genuine smile in this somewhat somber conversation.

"I think I would do anything for you." Tegan said more seriously now and then reached both of her hands over the table closer to Sara's side suggestively, making her in turn rest her own hands on the table too and let the younger woman hold them.

"Soo... You want us to tell your dad about it?" Tegan asked a bit reluctantly after a few seconds of silence, with Sara's hands still delicately in hers.

"Yeah. We'll probably tell him tonight, before I'll change my mind about all this."

"It's going to be fine Sare; and I really have faith that he will come to help." Tegan said as she lifted one of her girlfriend's hands to her lips and gave it two soothing soft pecks.

\-----  
Even if it was pretty hard and Sara still felt like she needed more time for everything to kinda settle in, she did call her father that night to tell him everything. As it was to be expected he didn't take it too good, and they ended up talking for more than an hour. Of course Tegan got to talk to him too, trying her best to give a extra push for him to agree and to come and maybe help.  
It was a really emotional conversation, especially for poor Sara. But Tegan was there to hold her hand through it all.  
What Sara's father could give them for now was that he needed some time to think about it, one or two days, probably even more. This thing could potentially impact his whole life too, not only cause of the media and public exposure thing, but also his relationship with Sara. And then of course there was the actual prospect that this could really be life threatening for her.

____________

Cast the Sails's touring might have ended for now but they would still have some side shows to play now and then across the US, some, more intimate shows in places like art spaces, community centers and other alternative venues. The band and the album got some well deserved exposure over the last year and they were really appreciated by a growing number of fans. They would even have two shows in Japan at the start of September, one at a music festival and the other a smaller one like the 'installation' shows back in the US.

It was now the 2nd day after Sara decided she should go along with Tegan's plan and after they talked to her father. He still hadn't called back. It might probably be less than a month until that logging project will start and they still had to figure out almost everything about how they would approach this with that ecological organization and then with the logging company.

Later on that evening not long after Sara came home from her warehouse and as she was placing the groceries and cat food she just bought in their rightful places her phone rang. It was her father. As she nervously answered and started talking to him Tegan came in to the kitchen too, because she heard the call from the living room.  
Sara's dad agreed to come to Vancouver and help, but pointed out that he still wouldn't risk anything with the curse by coming earlier than when the logging would supposedly start. And he also pointed out that they might need all of Sara's medical records and maybe even some additional tests results to show that she is not actually just sick, that, together with all the information he acquired over the years about the curse from his father and grandfather.  
"-They will just see by themselves how bad my health can get after they will start cutting down the trees there and I think that will be more proof than anything that any doctor might have diagnosed me with." Sara said. Her father dreaded to think that he would have to see her suffer like that again, but maybe that would be the last time such thing will happen to her.


	47. Chapter 47

Tegan was walking around in a convenience store. She was alone, just shopping for some food and few other everyday items. She was almost done with getting all the necessary stuff, but not before stopping to look through the alcohol isle. Tegan lightly ran her eyes over all the different whiskey brands, almost trying to avoid to look at them all together. She didn't want to linger much here. She stopped to pick up one of the cheaper bottles, letting out a sigh as she placed it together with all the other stuff in to her shopping cart.  
"Sara's not going to like this."

 

It was early evening when Tegan got back to the apartment. She found Sara still there in the living room, working on something on her laptop. Today Sara stayed mostly home, she made herself busy by working on some logo designs for her online freelancer thing, stuff she was still doing from time to time but pretty rarely, and she was also working on some possible new designs for her merch.

"Hey babe." she greeted Tegan from the couch as she heard her walk in, taking her eyes just for a second off the laptop screen.

"Hey." Tegan voiced back, then went straight to the kitchen.

Sara thought to detach herself from her work for a moment and go the kitchen too.

"Got everything?" she asked lightly as Tegan was already in the process of placing the stuff in different cabinets.

"Yup, I think so."

"Oh; -is that, liquor?" Sara noted a bit surprised as she looked at the somewhat visible bottle of whiskey that was still in one of the almost empty groceries bag on the floor.

"Uhm, yeah." Tegan turned to face her.  
"Hey..." they were looking in each other's eyes now. "The reason I bought that is probably not the one that you think. I will explain."

"Okay..." Sara voiced probably even more confused now.

After all the stuff that was bought was finally placed where it belonged the two went back in the living room, Sara sitting back on the couch and Tegan resting on one of the close by sofa chairs.

"Look... The reason I bought that stuff... I know is going to sound weird; -how should I put this..."  
"I got it to help me with my sleep. More exactly to maybe help me with dreaming."

"Dreaming." Sara noted bluntly, eyeing her questioningly.

"Yeah. You know what i'm talking about."  
"Like, half of those dreams actually came to me while I was drunk, or kinda drunk. And I still think there's actually something there, that's why I want to see myself in more of them; especially now..."

"Hmm..." Sara voiced with a index finger placed over her lips and her eyebrows frowned in thought.

"Sare, just trust me with this okay? Please. If it won't work after a couple of times I will just give it up. I want to try this."

"Okay. Maybe _I_ should start getting drunk to try to dream revelations too." Sara said somewhat sarcastically.

"Babe..."

"No, seriously. Maybe it will _work_ something in me too, other than a hangover." she added, a bit less scoffing this time.

"Well, sure; you can try that too, I guess, if you want..."

 

Tegan didn't attempt to get drunk that night. It felt wrong to do it at all, strangely in more ways than one.

But nevertheless, the next evening she did open that whiskey bottle.

 

"Sooo... do you want to try to get drunk tonight too?" she asked Sara after pouring herself a first glass and just putting a coupe of ice cubes in it. They didn't really talk about it anymore since yesterday when Tegan revealed her intention.

"Umm, as tempting as that might seem I think I will pass for tonight."

"Ok."

"Anyway, I think I get kinda horny when I'm drunk."

"I think I know." Tegan noted with her brows slightly perked and a light smile on her lips. "I don't see how that would necessarily be a bad thing though." she added somewhat teasingly.

"Hey, remember why you're doing this; or is that somehow part of your plan too?"

 

A bit later on Sara did have a glass too, she couldn't help herself, and anyway it was kinda _rude_ to let her girlfriend drink alone. But where Sara was feeling just a bit tipsy by the time they called it a night, Tegan was pretty hazy after half a bottle of whiskey and she was just about ready to crash out.

 

"This is weird." she voiced after she got in bed with Sara, resting her head on the pillow next to her facing up. The 31 year-old was reading some book, with her glasses on and the bedside lamp close to her the only thing illuminating the room.  
"I hope you're not too upset at me for doing this."

"I'm not, I told you."

"Hmm; good." Tegan noted with a sleepy smile as she turned her whole body to face her. She snuggled with a tired hum more in to her girlfriend's side, wanting to block even the weak source of light coming from the lamp. She placed her left hand over Sara's waist under the sheets, and her girlfriend in turn placed her hand comfortingly over her back while still continuing to read her book.

 

_Tegan was feeling really dizzy now, but not worst than she felt when she got in bed. She looked around her. There was alot of green around, she realized that she was actually back in that forest. It was all so familiar too. It became more clear why as Tegan's dizziness started fading the more she looked at her surroundings and after noticing she was again just close to the edge of the forest, the vast ocean and the small beach visible through the trees. It seemed to her that the ocean was somewhat closer to the trees than she remembered, due to the cold beach being apparently smaller now. Or maybe she just found herself in a slightly different location than before. She definitely found more comfort on the beach rather than amongst this tall old trees, that probably didn't want her here._  
_"Why am I starting again close to the water?" Tegan asked herself. She wondered if this had some kind of a meaning._  
_She instinctively knew she had to push deeper in to the forest to somehow try to find some answers, to try to find Sara._

_Just shortly in to her venture she started remembering and thinking on how this thing, the falling asleep drunk thing, actually worked. Together with that another thought that couldn't help to reverberate in to her mind was something that Lisa told her when she found her and Charlotte's ghosts in another dream of this nature, that she will probably get lost in here by searching and chasing after Sara. She didn't get to dwell on those thoughts too much because she ran in to Sonia's spirit again in the forest, or probably Sonia found her._

_"Hey." Tegan voiced as she walked closer to her static and still slightly glowing body. By now she wasn't intimidate anymore by her presence._

_"Hey Tegan." the woman greeted back with a light smile.  
"It still surprises me how you can get in here." she added._

_"I want to find Sara. I have to find her. Do you know where she is, by any chance?"_

_"Oh honey... I wish I knew. But I don't think she wants to speak to you anymore." Sonia said sympathetically. Tegan was taken aback a bit. She paused for a few seconds before saying something else._

_"Why? Is it, -is it because of that logging project? And does that mean you got to speak with her more?"_

_"Yeah, I got to speak with her." Sonia gave a simple reply and turned her head to look slightly to the side._

_"And?" Tegan asked a bit insistently after being quiet again for a few more seconds. "Do you like, meet her in her dreams too? She asked why I can see you in my dreams instead of her being able to see you in hers. Of course I don't know either."_

_"I'm afraid it doesn't quite work like that. People don't get to see and talk to their gone loved ones in their dreams whenever they please, just like we the parted ones don't get to enter in their dreams whenever we desire."_  
_"There are special cases probably... I did get to see Sara in her dreams a few times. She probably saw me _alot_ more." Sonia got visibly sad saying that._  
_"But a dream is something your mind creates, your subconscious. This is something neither your or Sara's mind created."_

_"Great; now I'm even more confused than before." Tegan pointed out, but she couldn't deny she was more intrigued to find out more._

_"Did I tell you you look quite alot like her?... in many aspects." Sonia made the observation while eyeing her with a light smile. Tegan did get that some few times from other people that knew them too._

_"Look, something really bad, even life threatening might happen to Sara; that's why I want to find her. You need to help me find her."_

_"I know about the logging. I'm afraid there's nothing I can do." Sonia voiced somewhat disheartened, avoiding to look her in the eyes in that moment._

_"You -you know?"_  
_"Then you know I have to do something!" Sonia's spirit was just quiet, like she had nothing to say any more._  
_"I don't know what this place is, but I know I have to get her out of here."_  
_"If this is not just my dream, what exactly is this place? Is there anyone else here other than Sara?"_

_"Tegan; I can't tell you that. I just can't."_

_"Okay. Well if you can't help me I will go search for Sara alone; maybe I will get more answers out of her."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will probably regret ending this chapter like this. Anyway, let me know what you think.


	48. Chapter 48

_Tegan just got going through that mystic forest to look for Sara's spirit almost impulsively, not saying anything else to a quiet Sonia. When she eventually looked back after distancing from that spot a bit Sonia's ghost was gone._  
_She pushed ahead, calling out Sara a few times. Tegan knew this seemed like a really vast place, and probably was, but she also knew that she did find Sara here most of the time somehow.  
But now, after walking through this forest for what seemed not much she was feeling cold and really tired._

_"Don't come back here." Tegan could swear she heard some ghostly voice say that, adding more to her disorientation._

_"You shouldn't have come here." there it was again._

_"Who said that? Who are you?..." she said with her voice trembling, looking around her scared, but she didn't see anyone or anything moving. All was so still._

_"Don't come back!" this voice was more like a whisper, but it was enough to pull Tegan out._

She woke up somewhat abruptly but not enough to wake Sara sleeping next to her, with her heart pounding, and with a big headache too, most likely from all the alcohol she had last night. It was strange to look for Sara so frantically and vividly in her dreams and then wake up and just have her there next to her. It felt relieving to see that she was actually there, that she still was hers.

Tegan woke up carefully and went to the kitchen to collect her thoughts a bit and to get a glass of water. When she came back in bed shortly after she couldn't help to snuggle more in to her girlfriend's back, making Sara go semi-awake at the contact and at the delicate kiss on the side of her neck, shifting just a bit and humming quietly. Unlike her Tegan couldn't just fall back asleep that easily, but she eventually slipped in to slumber, even if only for a couple of hours or so until the morning light woke her up again.  
\---

"How is your hangover treating you?" Sara asked as they were in the kitchen and she was preparing some breakfast for both.

"You don't want to know. But hey, at least I didn't puke." Tegan replied groggily, with her head resting tiredly on one of her palms.

"Hmmm; I don't mind that raspy voice though, it's kinda hot actually." the 31 year-old pointed out somewhat teasingly.

"Well, maybe you will also be glad to hear that this thing actually worked, the dreaming thing."  
Sara was surprised to hear that it really had that effect, even though deep down she didn't want to doubt the possibility of it. Tegan tried to recall and relate everything that had happened in her dream the best she could through still a pretty bad headache, even though it didn't really happen alot.

 

"Maybe this is actually not really safe for you. Maybe all that cautionary warnings that you got, maybe they actually mean something too." Sara said a bit reluctant but genuinely worried.  
"Is really hard for me to see anything good coming out of this..."

"But I feel I have to push even deeper." Tegan voiced before Sara had a chance to add anything more. Then she let out a sigh looking slightly away from her girlfriend.  
"Look, I know it's scary, I know maybe nothing good came out of all of this strange dreams; it even somehow made me start drinking again... but I at least want to find you there one more time, or your spirit or whatever the hell that is. I need at least that. I need to confront you there one last time."

"Why? And -and what if you don't find me there any more? Now I have to be worried about you too?" Sara knew she was close to letting some tears out. Tegan started rubbing at the side of her head somewhat frustrated, only making her throbbing headache feel even worst.

Eventually she promised Sara that she will try this drunken _method_ of facilitating her dreams only one more time, but that wouldn't actually be a guarantee that she would stop having them all together.

Pushed on by what effect it actually had for Tegan, Sara did intend to try it too pretty fast, so she managed to finish the rest of the whiskey bottle that night. She didn't handle alcohol quite as good as her younger and more versed girlfriend though. And Tegan kinda knew deep inside that _this_ wasn't going to work for Sara, even if she did have those strange dreams too a while ago triggered apparently by her painting... she wondered if Sara felt the same. She almost felt sorry for it, and for her.

 

The next morning proved that her instincts were sadly right. Sara got out of this only a bad hangover. It was kinda fun, to get drunk and all, but no dreams.  
\---

"I was thinking we should tell the guys about the curse and all." Tegan pointed out later that day. If they were going through with their plan to try to stop the deforestation chances were that they would find out regardless. Sara of course knew this too. She though for a bit before giving her answer.

"I don't know... Part of me wants to tell them now, but another part of me still tells me that maybe there's still a chance they don't have to find out..."

"Okay; well, we can wait to still see what happens I guess; I don't think they will hate us that we didn't tell them about this sooner; or kick me out of the band for that matter." Tegan said, joking a bit towards the end. She just hoped in this next days and weeks they wouldn't really pick up that things were kinda more strange.

Tegan waited few more days before she got drunk again and try to reach back in that dream or whatever it was. It was different this time though, she was alot more nervous knowing that this actually worked, and even because of the bad feeling she was getting from her dreams, mostly cause of how the last one ended.  
And it happened again.  
But nothing really happened in it.  
Tegan thought she got a glance of Sara in that forest this time, but after looking frantically for her for a while she felt cold and tired again, and scared. Apparently the fear and nervousness that kinda lingered with her from last time kept her from staying longer in this dream. And she thought she kept hearing the voices sometimes, like she was going crazy. She felt like she couldn't focus much on what she was seeing or hearing in the forest. She actually wished Sonia was there with her. But she was alone, and she definitely didn't get any kind of answers.  
\-------

It was now almost the start of September. No changes had come up with that Vancouver island logging project. The activists efforts apparently didn't manage to break any grounds in swaying the undergoing of the project. Some trees were already marked down with paint. It would just be 2 or 3 more weeks now.  
Tegan was trying to follow everything that was going on as best as she could through the internet. She and Sara didn't directly get involved yet. But time was running out and the deforestation was almost inevitable. And now Tegan had to focus on the band's trip to Japan for the 2 shows too. She didn't know what she would do about the other upcoming shows.  
She felt kinda bad leaving like this, at this time. She almost wanted to say something, made up or just reveal Sara's strange situation to the rest of the band just so she won't have to lose 3 days that she could spend planing more on how to approach this matter with the logging company. Of course her girlfriend tried to ease her thoughts, pointing out that she and her father would just take care of most of it, that this trip to Japan would actually be good for her to somewhat take her mind of it all. Maybe she was right. Sara seemed so calm about it... It was all just so surreal...

_______________

 

"Look, they have earthquake emergency exits in every room; I bet even the apartments here are like this too." Brett was saying as they were all in Tegan and Carmen's hotel room. They just arrived in Tokyo.

"Yeah, that's pretty cool." Tegan noted almost absentmindedly.

"Well I wouldn't call it _cool_ , but hey, if it saves lives that's something right?" Brett added, looking more around the room.  
"At least it seems we got pretty sweet accommodation; I think this might be the best hotel we've stayed in, even better than that one in Paris. I definitely wouldn't mind staying more here."

"Well it's not cheap that's for sure." Carmen said after lightly testing the firmness of the mattress on one of the beds.  
"I'm actually curious to see your guys rooms too, to see if they're just as nice as ours." she added smilingly.

 

"Tegan aren't you coming too?" Ryan asked as Carmen already got up from the bed and was ready to head towards the exit.

"Nah, I'm ok. I think I will just rest here for a while, I'm feeling still kinda tired."

When she was left alone in the room Tegan started lazily unpacking her suitcase on her bed since they still hadn't got to doing that yet. She glanced again at the small earthquake escape door near the balcony. She wished there was some kind of escape door for Sara out of her family line indian curse. Maybe _she_ was that somehow, the escape door.


	49. Chapter 49

Cast the Sails 2nd day in Japan was a really busy one, but it went according to plan, with just a couple of music media interviews and the festival show of course followed by a bit of meet and greet. They even had some time after their set to go out for dinned at a restaurant not too far from the hotel where they were staying, having done more exploring of the vibrant metropolis last night.  
At their little celebration at the restaurant Brett had some pretty important thoughts to share. It wasn't quite clear at first if it was just the excitement from their earlier set speaking but Brett was saying that he wanted to get engaged to Brooke who he had been with for over a year now, somewhere in the coming weeks. But it became clear to the people at the table that he was actually serious and that he had given this some serious thought way before they got to Tokyo. Tegan tried her best to seem excited for the news, but it was hard to be her bubbly self.

 

Later that evening when they eventually got back to the hotel and just as they were all heading for the elevator Brett stopped and asked Tegan if she wants to chill with him for a while on one of the lobby sofas.

"Soo... what's been going on with you? I know we didn't really get to talk much lately..." he asked a bit reluctant.

"Oh, ummm..."

"I kinda expected you to be more excited for me. You know, from everybody your opinion probably matters the most to me."

"Well, first of all, I'm flathered... And, I m, I m really excited for you guys; Brooke is a great girl, and I guess I wasn't really that surprised. Sorry if I didn't seem excited." Tegan said sympathetically with her little dorky lopsided smile.

"You seem a bit quiet lately; like you have some stuff on your mind, I don't know." Brett noted.

"Oh..."

"It's something the matter? Like, with you and Sara, or any other stuff? You know you can talk to me about anything."

"Yeah; I know." Tegan voiced kinda pensive but still showing a light smile.  
"It's nothing really. Just that Sara had to change her meds recently, you know -for her heart problems and all; and she hasn't been feeling so well. I guess her system needs some time to adjust and stuff." Tegan felt she had to say some kind of version of a lie that was still related to the actual problem.

"Why did she had to change her meds? Were the old ones not working... or did her health problems aggravate?..."

"Umm... I guess a bit of both. Anyway she told me this is kinda standard procedure so... But I can't help to be kinda worried I guess."

They talked a bit more, and luckily Tegan didn't really have to do too much explaining about Sara and put herself in a more awkward spot, then they headed up to their rooms.  
Tegan was so close to actually confessing to her friend Sara's real problem and what was actually the matter. But what good would it make? especially now.

\----------

For their next and final day in Japan the band traveled to Kyoto where they would have their more intimate show. That together with more meet and greet and some more press stuff. Apparently they were quite well appreciated here, even if they were a pretty new band. They would play in some kind of art gallery space, then they would take a late flight back to Seattle.

 

"I didn't really get to talk to Sara about the forest thing. She did kinda fill me in on what you guys decided to do when I talked to her about it on the phone two weeks ago or so, but other than that we didn't get to discuss it, you know?" Carmen was telling Tegan as the two of them were just taking a walk close by to the venue with some afternoon coffee before they would have to start the short soundcheck.

"I guess there is nothing really much to discuss, or at least that's how she feels. We still haven't approached that forest protecting organization yet. We don't really know what proof we need to convince them or the logging company to take this serious. They will probably look at us like we're some kind of crazy hippies. _Indian curse?_ Yeah right." Tegan explained, a bit derisively towards the end.

"The proof is in Sara and how this curse thing affects her health. I kinda don't get why she hadn't gone about this sooner. I mean, I kinda get it; she must be scared and it's a big undertaking and all..."

"I need to go with her to Vancouver, in about a week or so, to do this; and hopefully meet with her dad too. Can you like', take care that the guys won't be too nosy about this? And me, and Sara will take care of what comes after."

"Sure. You know you can count on me."  
"Just be there for her ok? And try your best to stop this thing. And convince her to do that too, or else I will kick her ass." Carmen added then took a sip of her paper coffee cup.

"That _kick her ass_ thing you must tell her that yourself, I'm sure it would have much more impact on her like that." Tegan said jokingly.

Pretty soon they headed back in the venue.

\-------

"I don't know how much you can actually see... but yeah, this is it." Tegan was saying as she had her phone slightly above her so she could show a better view of the fans that showed up and the cool venue space to Sara with whom she was having a video conversation right before the band's set was about to start. Sara really wanted to see the gallery space in which they were playing, especially since they were in Japan. Of course seeing the excited fans there too was an added bonus. There weren't really any paintings there, only some few futuristic looking sculptures, but still it was a pretty interesting show space.

"It looks really beautiful. I wish I was there in the audience." Sara said after Tegan pulled the phone back down to face her.

"Hey; umm, do you guys understand english?" Tegan then addressed the small crowd made up mostly of teenagers and 20'something who had come to see the band perform. Some of them acknowledged excited with a Yes.

"Can you please give a shout out to Sara here, our merch designer?" she continued her interaction with the crowd as she pointed her phone camera towards all of them. Most of them said _Hi_ and waved.

"Cool! Arigato!" Tegan smilingly thanked the fans with a light bow as she got the phone more close to her again to see Sara's joyful reaction better.  
"After this show all of them will probably wear your t-shirts." the 28 year-old noted with a cleaver smile.

"Oh my god! You're so sweet for doing that!" Sara said enthused and could hardly hold back her smile. Tegan's smile got wider seeing her expression like that.

"Ok we actually have to start our set now. I think I basically felt Brett poking me in the back with a drum stick. So I kinda have to go."

"Okay." Sara voiced with a soft smile. "Love you babe."

"I love you more. See you tomorrow."


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I can't believe I got this to 50 chapters. I never expected it when I decided to write a fic.

While Tegan was gone Sara just went about her usual business, not letting the pressing circumstances sway her work pattern, that was nothing really eventful, but that it was something that gave her security and normality and that she still enjoyed. Her small apparel brand was her baby.  
She had to deal with this unnatural problem her whole adult life and somehow even learn to live with it, like a incurable disease; and just like that she knew she wasn't really ever safe from it. She accepted years ago that there was no way to lift the curse, no indian charm or anything like that, no running away from it. Her half native-american grandfather did most of filling her up on that, with the knowledge he gathered from his father -who was the _source_ of all this- and from some few different tribes that still existed in the area. Unfortunately he too wasn't here for her any more, succumbing to some lingering but pretty natural health problems and old age, just a few months before Sara moved to Seattle. Sara felt bad for a while for moving in a time like this even further away from her grandmother that still lived close to Vancouver. But she did try to visit as often as she could. Her father barely even visited there since he moved to the other side of the country, probably for the same contrived and seemingly absurd reason he didn't visit Sara. And she didn't even get to see him then, or even know he was visiting, it would maybe just come up in a Skype conversation with him somewhere along, later on, and only if she would ask about it. From what Sara knew he didn't even come to his father's funeral; -all because of her.

_______________

"Ok I think we talked enough about the logging thing, don't you?" Sara said while she and Tegan were outside admiring the view of the tranquil bay waters and the beautiful city and landscape from the deck of a slow cruising ferry.  
"Can we just enjoy this beautiful day and not worry about stuff?" she just as lightly pointed out. Tegan looked at her a bit puzzled, like searching on her girlfriend's expression for signs of annoyance maybe caused by their conversation.  
"What?" the 31 year-old asked softly, noticing and turning her head to face her.

"Nothing. You're right. That's what we kinda came here for anyway."  
"I'm sorry." she added as she moved closer behind the young artist and put her arms around her waist, resting her chin lightly on one of her shoulders.  
"I won't bring that up ever today."  
Feeling Sara's delicate palms on her hands as the 31 year-old slightly settled more in to her hold Tegan nuzzled the tip of her nose on the sensitive skin just below her ear, making her girlfriend smile widely and hum blissfully a bit surprised. As a reaction to stop Tegan from tickling her skin any more Sara pulled her head slightly back and turned her face towards her and proceeded to connect their lips. It was rather a bit of an uncomfortable position to have something more than a short kiss, even if Tegan's lips felt so good.

"I know for a fact that your birthday is coming up soon." she noted with a smile after they broke from the soft kiss.

"Oh yeah, lets talk about that." Tegan said somewhat sarcastically.

"Well, we did get to celebrate _my_ birthday together, but we didn't get to celebrate yours last year remember? -cause you were on tour."

"Mmm; we will celebrate it together this year then." the charming young musician replied as she started to place delicate pecks on the side of her neck, making Sara slightly ticklish again.  
"The last birthday of my 20's." Tegan rested her chin back on her shoulder kinda reflective.

Sara didn't have to say anything but they both knew that there was a good chance they won't actually get to celebrate Tegan's birthday cause of the forest matter.

\-----

After they eventually got off from their somewhat romantic ferry ride Tegan had some more plans for them for the evening.  
"So, I didn't tell you this cause I kinda wanted it to be a bit of a surprise but I was thinking we should go to that club tonight. You know, the one we went to last summer; the one with kind of a cool gay vibe, cause mostly lesbians and gays go there...? If you are up for it. I heard there will be even some stand-up tonight."

"Oh... If I'm up for it? Just because I'm 3 years older doesn't mean I'm not down for some partying." Sara pointed out jokingly.

"Well technically you're more like 2 and a half years older than me." Tegan retorted promptly.

"You're such a dork." Sara noted with a endearing smile.

"My fans seem to think that too." the young musician added with a smug.

" _Your_ fans...?" the 31 year-old said with a incredulous smirk.

"Yeah. And besides, this is probably more like your crowd anyway, since my idea of partying is probably to crash at some friend's house and maybe get wasted."

They got to the car and didn't have to drive much before they got to that club.  
\---

Tegan was right, there was some kind of open mic thing there, and the atmosphere was pretty relaxed, and even the music was mostly good. There were some few people there that knew Tegan, probably some old friends. 

After a couple of drinks Tegan even convinced Sara to hit the floor and dance with her. Sara was even a worst dancer than her, but this was the most fun they had in quite a while. No one really cared about their somewhat awkward dance moves.

"I go grab us another drink okay?" Sara said a bit shyly through more accentuated breaths after the last song ended.

"Ok." Tegan voiced before stealing a fast kiss from her girlfriend's lips.

 

"Hi. Two Heinekens please." Sara told the bartender then started looking more around her in the few seconds it took him to retrieve the beers. She thought she caught a glimpse of two girls on a near by sofa checking her out. They probably saw she was with someone anyway.

 

"Hi again! I see y'all are feeling good. So, before we start with the stand-up main event and you guys will be totally blown away, we have a musical guest! This was some last minute stuff, cause we didn't even know she was gonna show up. We are not paying her anyway." the redhead that was some kind of host announced from the small stage, just as Sara was heading back with the beers to find Tegan, and caught her attention.  
"She is in a band you guys. A band from right here in Seattle. It's called Cast the Sails if anyone heard of it... If no you should definitely check them out. I'm sure many of you ladies know her." the girl said, adding a funny side note.

"Whaat...?" Sara voiced under her breath looking surprised towards the stage.

"Give it up for my friend, Tegan Quin!" And to Sara's still state of surprise Tegan walked on stage with a acoustic guitar and greeted the people there before sitting on the chair placed in the middle and started adjusting the mic and tuning her instrument a bit.

"Sooo... I will play a cover first, then one of our songs from our latest album, then maybe another one if you guys still want. Sounds good?"  
Sara was even more surprised cause she very rarely actually heard Tegan sing, she did sing in the band but that just consisted of back-up vocals on some songs.  
First song turned out to be a pretty rock edged but pretty sensual too acoustic cover from a Juliette and the Licks song that kinda got the crowd in to the groove.

"This next song I will dedicate to my girlfriend who is here too... cause I know she loves it so much; and to all of you guys, of course." Tegan said with a cute smile while tuning the guitar a bit more.  
"Okay, the song is called Hearts Parade, and I actually never sang it before. No, wait; -well I did sing it before acoustical like this, but not in front of a audience. No pressure." Tegan was bantering, clearly a bit nervous.  
Sara's heart grew watching her girlfriend sing quite flawlessly one of her favorite songs from the band's album. She only knew the song as sang by Carmen, and never heard it stripped down like this. Tegan did it justice though, with her own beautiful twist on it. Tegan's eyes even found her own while singing the song, more than half of the time they were not closed they were on her.  
Before she knew it the song ended, and the people in the front and even some from the back were asking for a encore. So she got to enjoy another song from the album sang by Tegan.

__________

A couple of days later they were off to Vancouver to meet with some people from the Ancient Forest Alliance.

The two rented a room at a hotel in south Vancouver for a night, and waited for Stephen, Sara's dad to arrive. After they had some early breakfast out at some near by diner Sara got the call from him that he just landed in the city and will be arriving to the hotel where they were staying in probably about half and hour. Tegan had already set up a meeting with one of the founders of the AFA organization somewhere later today, pointing to him that it was something important but she didn't say why yet.

"How's your heart holding up?"

"My heart?" Sara voiced as she was kinda snapped out of her thoughts by Tegan's question. She obviously had a lot on her mind.

"I mean all this sum of events that are about to happen; it probably doesn't even know for what to be more agitated and anxious about."

"Oh. Well, lets hope I don't panic or anything, or have a total meltdown."

"You won't, okay? I will be here by your side all the way." Tegan said looking at her with a reassuring smile and then placed her hand on top of hers.


	51. Chapter 51

While Tegan was observing Sara and her father's somewhat prudent and restrained interaction she couldn't tell who was more nervous, him or her. They haven't actually been around each other for like 6 years, but it was obviously more than that to it. It was all kinda awkward too. Tegan already knew Stephen from a few video conversations.  
He was clearly doing well at holding back tears, more than Sara, who couldn't help to shed a few, even if she was, from what Tegan thought, doing better than him at holding back her feelings. And she probably had a lot to hold back, just like him. It was beautiful to see them together, but at the same time kinda sad.  
Stephen looked somewhat younger than his actual age which was 62, even if the few hair that he still had on his head was more light gray than anything. Then again Sara too probably looked younger than her age. Surely this wasn't another effect of the curse. And speaking of that, just like Sara her father didn't look pretty much at all native-american thought he did was a quarter that. Seeing him like this reassured Tegan's belief that he was a pretty mellow guy, but also a kind and caring soul. She kinda felt like she had a lot of questions for him but that she didn't really know how or when to put them.

"I contacted my lawyer, just in case, for any eventuality." Stephen said once they've been around the pleasantries and pretty much the basics. "Though understandably I didn't really point out the _details_ to him, yet."

"Let's hope you won't have to, let's hope we won't need him at all." Sara noted.

"For now we will just talk with this guy from the environmental organization and see where we go from there." Tegan chimed in.

\-------

A few hours later and Tegan's contact from the AFA organization did show up as he said, and they all went to discuss the matter at hand in Stephen's hotel room.  
TJ Watt was one of the founders of AFA and their main campaigner. He, or the other members of the organization didn't come across anything quite of this nature in all the 6 years since they formed it and he was clearly intrigued, even though understandably a bit confused and overwhelmed by it all. Sara's father did most of the talking.  
Tegan could tell Sara was pretty uncomfortable, having to listen to her dad try to explain to this guy, that didn't look older than 40, the best he could about her unnatural predicament and the urgency of the problem. At least the guy didn't totally seem to think this was some kind of joke and he was surprisingly perceptive.

"Um... why didn't you come to us about this sooner? We would have had more time to analyze it and maybe we could have come up with some kind of petition based on this, I don't know; or get some press coverage on this that would maybe help..."  
That was a pretty hard question, and Sara's father didn't really know what to say, as he looked at his daughter somewhat searchingly.

"I always thought I should have done something... I thought no one would probably take this seriously enough." Sara voiced.  
"And, I guess I didn't want to stick out cause of this... thing; I just wanted to be normal. Just a handful of people actually know about this."  
Tegan was sitting next to her on the couch and she put her hand on her back in a gesture of reassurance, gently rubbing it up and down, while her other hand was already busy holding on of hers almost throughout all this conversation.

"I see..."  
"Well, as I said, we never actually had to deal with anything like this before..."

"We know. It's quite out there on the strange scale." Stephen said.

"This could potentially be something big; or it could just be nothing at all." TJ added.

 

They eventually agreed they needed to fill in on this the other staff members of AFA as soon as possible and formulate some kind of a plan, some kind of approach directed on informing the logging company about this. They would basically have just 2 or 3 days until the cutting of the first trees will start.

"I would say that went pretty well..." Stephen noted after TJ left the room.

"Yeah." Sara said quietly, looking like she just wanted to crawl in a hole in the ground.

"How are you feeling?" Tegan asked, still trying to be reassuring and soothing by holding her girlfriend's right hand on her lap, lightly mingling somewhat reflexively with her fingers.

"I feel, good." the 31 year-old voiced, turning her head towards Tegan just after that reply left her mouth, showing her a light and kinda shy smile. Tegan smiled back.

"He seemed pretty cool..." she then added.

"Let's hope the others are just as cool, and that they will take this pretty serious." Stephen said. He seemed somewhat wary not to by any chance make eye contact with his daughter. Almost like he felt and was afraid not to make her feel even more uncomfortable.  
Now they probably had to wait one more day for the next step, to get the chance to talk with the others.  
A bit later on Tegan and Sara went back to their room.

First thing Sara did as they got in was to go to the nightstand , opening it and taking out the asthma inhaler, which she then used. With her labored breathing somewhat subsiding she sat on the bed, while Tegan walked closer to the bed too, looking at her worriedly the whole time.

"Hey; are you ok?" she finally voiced.

"Uh, yeah; I just needed to use this." Sara replied, still a bit distressed.  
Tegan then proceeded to sit next to her on the bed. She placed her right arm around her back. She didn't have to pull her in closer because Sara leaned in to her, resting her head on her shoulder. Tegan could feel some tension in her, still straining her. For a moment none of them said anything, just standing there like feeling each other's breaths and listening to the dampened sounds coming from the outside streets.

"I think it all went good, so far. And your dad is great." Tegan broke the silence, then she placed a soft kiss on top of Sara's forehead and rested her cheek more on her head soothingly.  
"I can give you a massage, if you want." the 28 year-old added, her smile growing a bit bigger. "Help you relax more."

"Thanks. That sounds really tempting. But maybe a bit later on, so hold that thought." Sara said, her girlfriend managing to cheer her up somewhat.  
"Mmm, I need to call Carla and check up on Holiday; I already miss her. And probably check on the warehouse too." she added with a light sigh.

"Ok."  
\-----

A couple of hours later, after Sara got to check that Holiday and all was good back in Seattle, and as they were both lying silently in bed facing each other after resting in it for a bit over an hour Tegan voiced:  
"I guess things are a bit awkward between you and your dad, huh. I mean, I can't blame you for being a bit cold towards him." Sara kept eye contact with her, but her sight eventually ducked hers as she kinda held back from saying anything. She didn't have to.  
Tegan sighed lightly. "I guess, at least nothing of his fears about his proximity to you actually proved true in any way, so far."

"I have a feeling that won't actually comfort him too much."

"He just thinks he's looking out for you. I mean, I have no doubt that's why he left and moved so far away."

"Yeah." Sara noted a bit sad, and avoiding eye contact.

"Cut him some slack."  
"Speaking of comfort; how about that massage I said I will give you?"  
A smile blossomed on Sara's face.

\-----

With her girlfriend's palms roaming on her shoulders and neck area, her fingers pushing ever so smoothly on to her skin and in to her weak muscles, Sara was feeling the best she did all day, undoubtedly. Tegan was already for some good minutes at it now, sitting just behind her on the bed, with her lower back cushioned by some pillows and almost resting on the headboard, and her legs positioned on both sides of her hips. Knowing it was Tegan made all the difference, but she wasn't doing a bad job at it either. There were the occasional _Tegan_ unmistakable kisses and pecks that soothed her the most and that always pulled her out of zooming away for too long, her lips almost tickling every spot they touched.

"Okay. Let's not make this too much of a good thing. You might get used too much to this." Tegan pointed out jokingly. Then her palms stopped massaging and just rested on her girlfriend's shoulders. Sara let out a light childish moan in protest.

"That honestly felt so good though."

"Mhm." Tegan leaned more in to her, resting her chin on her left shoulder and placing her arms around her lower body. Sara took a satisfied deep breath, inhaling her girlfriend's precious scent. Their craving lips connected for a short but sweet kiss.

"Thank you for that. You know I will repay you, right?" Sara said with a smile after their lips parted, just to connect for another smooth kiss after that.

"Mmm; you don't have to..." Tegan noted half-jokingly.  
"Wana go out and grab some dinner with your dad? You can like' show me your favorite place to eat in this town." It was already evening.  
Tegan _insisted_ with a couple of pecks on her girlfriend's neck.  
"Okay, okay." Sara replied, her voice almost cracking in to a soft laugh.


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. Sorry if this chapter is kinda uneventful, especially after such a long break. I hope is not too confusing or something :)

It was like something was missing. It was enough to make Tegan tiredly open her eyes in the dark. She couldn't see much but she padded the cold space next to her on the bed again with her hand, like searching for something. Sara; she wasn't there. She lifted her head. She scanned the dark hotel room more with her sight, her mind still blurred with sleep but slightly building up with concern. Concern that in normal circumstances would have been unjustified.

 

"Hey..."  
"Can't sleep?" Tegan asked her girlfriend, who she found in the other room sitting on the small sofa with her laptop and a cup of hot tea, headphones removed as soon as she saw her walk in.

"Heey. Yeah; apparently." Sara replied with a light smile looking up at her.  
"Sorry if I made you wake up."

Tegan walked over to the sofa and sat down too. She put one of her legs up and settled it more comfortably under the other one as she turned more towards Sara.

"What are you looking at?" she voiced directing her attention slightly towards the laptop.

"Nothing of importance; or porn, for that matter." Sara replied with a tired smile.

"Maybe we can watch some together after we are done with this thing." Tegan added promptly with a smile too sleepy to even seem teasing.

"Sounds like a good time."

The 28 year-old lightly brushed some of Sara's side bangs behind her ear.  
"How long have you been up?"

"Probably less than a hour or so." the young artist said with a faded smile.  
"It's nothing really, just that I couldn't sleep, with all the stuff about to happen and all, and seeing my dad..."

"Yeah, he even came to have dinner with us; which was nice."

"Yeah, it was."  
Sara turned towards Tegan, looking at her with a soft smile.  
"Why don't you go back to bed, and I will join you shortly? I'm fine, and it's probably 3AM or something. You look so sleepy."

"Aww, baby I'm fine too though, chilling here a bit more with you; if you don't mind the company."

Sara put her laptop aside on the floor, close to the sofa, and without saying another word she leaned on Tegan, resting her head on her shoulder. Tegan almost reflexively lifted that arm and put it around her older girlfriend, resting slightly in to her too. She placed a tender kiss on her head. Shortly after Sara lifted her head to find and meet her girlfriend's soft lips for a couple of light kisses.

\---

In the early morning when she woke up, Tegan couldn't really remember how, but apparently the two of them fell asleep on the sofa like that, like two tired teenagers. Sara was still asleep in her arms.

__________

"So did anyone of them started to ask questions yet?"

"Well, no. It's just been like one day." Carmen replied as Tegan and her were talking on the phone a few hours later. Of course Tegan just informed her how things went so far. They had made up some stuff to tell the guys they were just going to Vancouver to visit Sara's grandmother and meet with her dad too, and that they would stay there for a few days. But there was really no way of knowing how long this situation was actually going to take.  
"They _will_ be asking questions if you guys stay there more than a few days though."

"Yeah..." Tegan noted, almost letting out a sigh.

"Can I talk to Sara?"

"Sure; she's right here. Let me put you on speaker."

"Hey." Sara voiced as she walked over to sit on the sofa next to Tegan who placed the phone on the low coffee table.

"Hey Sare." her friend greeted back.  
"How are you feeling?"

"Well, I haven't gotten much sleep in the past couple of days or so; but other than that I'm feeling good..." the 31 year-old noted casually. But she was happy to hear Carmen's voice.

"Oh. That missing sleep part is a bit concerning..."  
"But hey, you got to see and be around your dad, huh, -finally!"

"Yeah. I'm so grateful that he came."

"I'm glad nothing like, weird happened, from what Tegan told me. And that that guy didn't think all this was too weird and agreed to take this in to consideration." Carmen then said.

"Yup. Now the hard part is still to come." Sara pointed out. Tegan was right there to warm her a bit with her smile and lightly rub her shoulder in a soothing gesture.

"Stay strong okay? You and Tegan both. You hear that Tegan? You guys do whatever it takes to stop this."

____________

In no more than a couple of hours they eventually had to meet with TJ again and 2 other staff members of AFA, a lovely woman named Hannah, who was pretty young too, and the executive director Ken Wu. They kinda understood the urgency of the matter, considering how little time they still had. But this was not to say they totally believed Sara's story or that they were confident this could make a change, now, on the last hour.  
They were saying how they had contacts with most of the First Nations communities in the area and how a good collaborative relationship with them was really essential for the non-profit organization. So they had heard of indian curses before, but they never actually met with something like this, a person who actually claimed some kind of symbiosis to the old-growth forests in the area, and who claimed she can somehow prove it too.  
Sara's dad had all the information he anticipated they might probably need; he meticulously prepared all of it in time, most of it just in the past couple of weeks. He had contacted Sara's medics that saw her when she was younger and still lived with him, and asked them to email him copies of all her medical records that showed the absence of any diagnosis or illness that would actually cause this claimed health problems for her. And Sara brought her latest copies of her medical records too that reinforced the fact that she didn't suffer from any known condition that would trigger or cause anything like this. Anyone could contact the doctors themselves for further confirmation if they wanted.

"So this _episodes_ that you've described, and that you say are _somehow_ tied to the cutting of old trees here... are they meant just to hurt you and to remind you or is there anything else there?" Ken asked, his attention on the matter fully gained by this point.

"Look; we don't really know. The curse is not specific like that. Is not like there are much details to it. We just know by now that it's there, and we know what is said it's tied to. We're here just hopping that we can prove that, and that by doing that it will bring some change that would maybe help us, and your cause." Stephen pointed out before Sara had time to formulated an answer.

"So the point of this curse, as you so explained, is to hurt your bloodline...?" Ken added somewhat cautious. Stephen looked at Sara saddened, making eye contact with her a bit reluctant.

"Yeah, maybe even end it."

_______

 

_In Sara's thoughts there were those somewhat painful words her father said, "maybe even end it"; she couldn't help to think he actually avoided to say "probably"._ She _thought this, sadly she was familiar with it; she couldn't help not to. She knew about the curse, she knew the pain, and how it seemingly got worst as the years passed. Or maybe that aspect was all in her head somehow? Maybe she was a coward. Anyway, she couldn't remind her father about it who was standing right next to her as he was admiring her painting. At least she was glad he was there. They were in what seemed like her small Seattle painting studio, only that it kinda seemed bigger now somehow... she didn't think much of it._  
_Something in her head caused Sara to ask without much thought -"Hey, dad, where is Tegan?" Something made her think Tegan should have been there...  
_ _Stephen looked at her with his familiar light smile for what seemed just a glimpse then fixed his sight back on the painting; that last painting Sara did while Tegan was gone on tour in Europe._

__

_"She's on the other ocean." her father said somewhat mysteriously, and Sara thought he was somehow hinting at the painting._

_"On the other ocean...?" she asked slightly confused, staring at her painting too, that she was o so familiar with.  
"Is mom there too, with her?" She didn't really know why she asked such thing. When her dad looked again at her she almost regretted doing so. Not that he seemed upset about it..._

_"I don't know."  
"Told you I will get you home, -so, -here we are." he added with a warm smile, that somehow managed to make Sara feel somewhat more at peace. She fell smoothly in to a grey blurriness, even as she felt she still had some more things to say and questions to ask, with her sight still set on the details of her painting._

When she eventually woke up in the somewhat dark room and started to gather her thoughts she noticed she wasn't the only one awake.

"Mm, hey baby." Sara lightly voiced a bit surprised as she was rubbing her eyes tiredly.  
"How come you're awake?"

Tegan who had her back resting on the headboard leaned down to give her a soft kiss on the forehead.  
"Hey." she whispered warmly.

"Did, did I wake you up?" Sara added.

"No, don't worry. Though you were lightly shuffling around some few minutes ago." Tegan said with a smile.  
"I don't know... this place kinda makes me feel uneasy. As if there was any more need for that too right now."

They were now at another hotel in Victoria, as the following day they and the people from AFA were about to meet with some representatives from the logging company.


	53. Chapter 53

Tegan and Sara together with Ken and TJ from the AFA organization and Sara's father headed the next morning to some kind of office headquarter somewhere on the outskirts of Victoria to meet and talk to the senior managers from the logging company. Ken set up the meeting with them just yesterday, insisting that this was a pretty important matter, and that they shouldn't start cutting any tree until they heard them out. Unsurprisingly this people didn't really expect for something to come up on such a short notice that would delay the rolling along of their project, having all the permits and legal formalities they required. Imagine their surprise when Ken and Stephen explained to them what this was actually about.  
A old indian curse. They had to halt their project, that was already in motion for a old indian curse... That was it? Was this even for real? They basically already had men and machinery on the ground close to the location ready to start. Sara was feeling awful just by being in that room, but she had to weather through it. She was the catalyst of this whole thing.  
Now they had to actually prove it. And they agreed to do that right on location, just when the cutting of the trees was about to start. This was kinda part of the plan from the start. There was not really any other way.

The logging company was giving them just one more day to kinda get ready, although Sara didn't really need it.  
Thank God Ken and the other folks from AFA understood their concern to not bring any kind of mediatic documentation for this strange situation, even if it would be from and for their organization firstly, and they respected the privacy of it. They couldn't speak for the logging company though.

Eventually Sara and Tegan headed back to the hotel, Stephen choosing to remain more with TJ and Ken to discuss more on the matter.

Their friend Carmen couldn't help to call them again later that day to check up on them. She also couldn't help to give away the date when Brett and Brooke were about to get engaged, even though from what she said he wanted to give the news to Tegan himself when she and Sara would come back. It would be due to happen in just a week.

"He's not going to like that I kinda spoiled the _surprise_."

"Yeah, well, I'll just pretend that I didn't know." Tegan said.

"He will probably call you tomorrow, cos it's your birthday and all." Carmen noted.

"Wow, you remembered!"

"Whaaat...? When did I _ever_ forget?" Carmen said with a hint of humor.

"Hm, yeah, you're probably right. Sucks that I can't spend it with you guys." Tegan pointed out.

"Awww... Well at least you got Sara there with you."

"Yeah."  
"I hope this thing won't take too much longer; I want to be there for Brett, and the shows will going to start soon."Tegan already had a feeling this will probably take more than anticipated.

"Well don't worry about that. I mean, what ever it takes, right?"

 

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful and in the evening Sara and Tegan went out again with Stephen to grab some food and just try to take their minds off things, if only for a bit, by exploring more the beautiful city of Victoria. Stephen was quite familiar with it already even though he hadn't been here in many years, and even Sara wasn't really a stranger to it, having been here quite a few times before. She was kinda making the most of her time with her father since she didn't know when they will be together like this again, and chances were that even if this thing, the stopping of cutting down the trees would somehow be successful it wouldn't mean that that would make him feel less cautious about the curse and his presumed possible bad effect on it.  
\-----

The next day was Tegan's birthday and through all the planing for the trip to the logging site that would take place the following day the two girls found time to have a little getaway of their own in the closest regional park to the city, since it was a pretty beautiful day too, thing that was kind of a commodity in this parts close to this time of year. It was more of a reflection of what they had to fight for tomorrow, even if this small park was completely protected. The primeval forest was such a surreal and beautiful place, yet so strange how it had such a bad undertone for Sara and even for Tegan who was eerily finding herself in places resembling this in her dreams lately. Now she was admiring the real life version of it from the safety of a beautiful sunny day and a tourist hiking trail boardwalk. Tegan's fear kinda went away too, together with the fact that she didn't hear any more strange voices this time.

"I actually dreamt that I was back in Seattle two nights ago." Sara voiced as they were admiring some really large and old trees.  
"I was there with my dad; I remember we were looking at my painting... you know, _that_ painting."

"Oh..." Tegan said looking at her a bit confused.  
"And what happened?"

"Nothing really. It was just strange. I remember I asked him why you weren't there, I don't know why... and he said something like " _you're on the other ocean."_  
Tegan was quiet for a moment.

"Um; remember the first dream you had with me in it was somehow tied to a beach and the ocean too? Like, I remember you telling me that. And then with the dreams I had tied somehow to the ocean and the forest... Maybe it means something."  
"Anything else that he said or happened there that you can remember?"

"Not really. There was nothing else to it I think. I probably just woke up, and then I saw you were awake too next to me."

"But enough about that. Today is your day." Sara added, showing a light but warm smile as she faced her girlfriend. "I want to focus on that more."

"Well... You can proly start by carrying me to the car when we go back; -this boots are starting to feel pretty uncomfortable from walking and stuff." Tegan said arrogantly with a smirk on her cute face.

"Not gonna happen." Sara replied trying to seem nonchalant but almost letting out a laugh. She often found herself trying to keep up with Tegan's witty sense of humor.

"Hm... Ok can I at least have a kiss right now then?"

\-------

When they drove back to the hotel in the late afternoon it was mostly just to change from their more casual _hiking_ clothes in to something more appropriate for a night in town but still pretty casual. Sara also insisted for them to stop at a bakery shop so they could buy some kind of cake to celebrate Tegan's birthday at the hotel more when they would be back from the restaurant. Tegan wasn't really keen on that, but if the gesture pleased Sara why would she actually complain.

 

"Is my hair alright? what you think?" Tegan questioned somewhat hurriedly, still kinda picking at it and lightly arranging it with her hand, a bit insecure, even after she took considerably more than Sara to get it sorted the way she wanted to. Sara did style her hair pretty simple most of the time.

"Yeah, looks pretty good from here." Sara said with a light and somewhat teasing smile as she was actually standing next to her, the two of them about ready to leave the hotel room and head out. Her girlfriend had on some dark grey tight jeans nicely combined with some black chelsea boots and a simple but elegant all black t-shirt, topped off with her dark red bomber jacket with cool little patches dotted on it. Tegan got the complimentary innuendo and couldn't help at that point to go in for a kiss which her girlfriend totally expected.  
"You look effortlessly hot, as always." the 31 year-old then added kinda playfully.

"Damn right." Tegan noted with a confident smirk, hoping her blushing doesn't show too much.  
"You don't look too bad yourself." Sara was dressed pretty simple too, black leather jacket over a somewhat long white round collar button-up, with some black jeans and black converse style sneakers.

In about 15 minutes they got to the restaurant where Sara already took care of reserving a table for them earlier that day. It was a pretty nice place, with a mix between traditional american stuff and italian. From time to time Tegan's phone would buzz and require her attention, as it did a few other times throughout the day too, and interrupt their conversation. It was just people calling to wish Tegan happy birthday, and Sara didn't mind. Brett even called earlier today, as it was expected, and told them that the engagement date was set. Of course the two already knew it. Tegan had to tell him there was no way they were gonna miss being there. Sara would sometimes just fall quiet, especially after Tegan had to answer her phone, and the 29 year-old kinda knew why and could totally understand it.

The two eventually got back to the hotel at about 9.30 pm.  
They opened the fancy bottle of champagne and got out the small cake they bought earlier today, topped off with 2 candles for Tegan to blow a wish on. 29 of them was way too many, and they figured 2 would be like some kind of reference that Tegan was in her 20s still.

"I basically put them all out with one blow, imagine that. So I guess my wish must come true." Tegan noted somewhat humourly, looking up at Sara from her chair after she did just that.

"I guess so." Sara said putting on a formal smile. She could kinda guess what Tegan wished for.

"Come here." Tegan didn't hesitate to lightly grab at Sara's waist and direct her to settle sideways on her lap, careful not to spill her girlfriend's champagne glass that she had in her hand. They shared a sweet short kiss as soon as she had the young artist firmly in her arms. Sara couldn't stop smiling, and this made Tegan smile too. It felt so good to see that smile that she didn't know she missed so much in the last few days.  
She leaned her head on Sara's chest, gently resting like that, and the 31 year-old in turn put the almost empty champagne glass on the near by table freeing that hand that she then softly placed on the side of her girlfriend's face, lightly caressing and moving away some few lose strands of hair, and letting out a soothing deep breath. She knew that just like her Tegan probably wanted to make love so bad, but they both unspokenly knew that this was not really a right time, with the stuff that was about to go down tomorrow and all. At least she could still give Tegan some satisfaction and cuddle more latter on in bed, it was her birthday after-all. The birthday girl lifted her head to give her a couple of pretty sensual kisses on the neck, making her even harder to resist, making things even harder for Sara. She had to kinda lift her chin with her hand and to connect their lips for a teasing light kiss, followed immediately after by another alot more passionate one.

"Mmm, hot. Where's my champagne glass?" Tegan voiced kinda teasingly after lightly biting her own bottom lip, her eyes fixed on Sara's.


	54. Chapter 54

The next day's dawn just started slowly creeping less than a hour ago, but Tegan was already awake, though still lying in bed. Sara was asleep next to her, with her back turned. It was a good sign. And she didn't take any sleeping pills this time. Yeah Tegan was the one that bought some off-the-counter sleeping medication when they were back in Vancouver, seeing that Sara had some trouble sleeping and she thought she definitely needed the sleep; and she even considered _she_ might even need some after the first night here in Victoria. Tegan stood there thinking, wishing that alarm won't ever go off and signal they had to wake up and face this dreaded day. She wished she could just protect Sara, from this, from all of it. Then she was kinda snapped out of her thoughts by the young artist rolling on the other side towards her, like craving for her body warmth. When Sara realized she was awake after placing a arm on her abdomen she opened her eyes more widely and looked straight in to hers.

"Mm; Hey." she greeted in a sleep strained low voice, showing a smile.

"Hey." Tegan smiled back. She then gave her girlfriend a light kiss on the forehead.  
"We should probably get up." she said, as much as she hated it, and most likely Sara hated it too. She kissed her again, this time on the lips, like some kind of encouragement, or maybe apology.

"Hmm... -No." Sara lightly huffed in protest, now with somewhat of a sad expression.

"I _will_ drag you in the shower if I have to." Tegan said, only half-jokingly.  
"Your dad will be waiting for us in about an hour and a half." she added after picking up and checking the time on her phone.

\-----

After they both eventually got ready they left their room just in time to meet Stephen down in the hotel lobby, then the three of them went to have some breakfast at a near by cafe just across the street.

The whole atmosphere seemed so strange, like there was something in the air. Stephen seemed the most tense. It was probably understandable. As they ate their food and drank their coffees they went over their somewhat vague plan once again, not much room for small talk beside it, but they still tried to lighten up the mood.

 

They drove about 1 hour and a half from Victoria on highway 14 through mostly forest lands until they reached the small community of Port Renfrew where they met up with Ken, Hannah, TJ and a doctor from Victoria named Sheryl who was willing to land some help too, if needed. From there they all took two off-road SUVs, TJ driving them behind and following the other one in which the others were through a long forest trail close to the coast.  
It looked like it was shaping up to be a pretty cloudy day today, as Tegan was distracting herself by looking up from her window, still being able to make up the little she could of the sky through the dense and tall trees. She switched her sight to Sara again, who was standing on the other side, gazing out her window too through the slightly bumpy ride. The weather was probably the last thing on her mind. She was probably shaking inside already. Tegan reached her right hand to gently place it over Sara's left and lightly squeeze it. The young artist turned her head to her, showing a sympathetic smile and almost letting out a sigh.  
Now there was really no turning back; they had to do this.

In just a short time they arrived at their destination in a zone called the central Walbran Valley, the logging machinery all around them being a pretty clear and somber indication of that. There was also some sort of camp set up, obviously for the loggers, but not far from that there was another, smaller one made up of 3 camping tents, set up by the people from AFA in advance.

As Tegan and Sara got out of the car they looked around and noticed there were no cameras or any sign of any reporter around. Well at least that was a good thing.

"How are you feeling?" Tegan asked as they just took a moment to take in the stuff around them before doing anything else.

"I kinda feel cold." was the first thing Sara thought to say. It was indeed pretty cold in the forest, and Sara had on just a light rain jacket over her black sweater. Stephen walked up close to them after apparently having a word with Ken who too had just gotten out of the SUV that was leading their own.

"So... here we are." he voiced, looking at the surroundings too.

"Here. Give me your jacket and put this on instead, it will probably keep you a bit warmer." the 29 year-old said as she took of her denim jacket. She wasn't left too vulnerable to the elements, since she still had on a black hoodie sweatshirt. Sara just gave her a short look before complying and swapping her jacket with Tegan's.

"Thanks." she said with a light smile after putting her girlfriend's jacket on.

 

A group for 4 people with red safety helmets on, from which there we probably 2 recognizable faces made their way towards them. The 2 familiar ones were some of the bosses from the logging company that they talked to two days ago. They even had disposable cups of coffee with them, like it was just another normal day at the office for them.

"Hey folks. I see you all made it here all right." the one with the grey beard and mustache spoke. Sara couldn't really remember none of them's names. 

"So; this two gentlemen here are our project chief Jacob and our main coordinator Adam." So this were the people they basically had to say to _pack it up and go home_ cause of a matter of the _supernatural_ kind. This was almost embarrassing, if it wasn't daunting.

There was not much to be said, and after they all talked for a bit they let the logging people go and carry on with their work, and that was to finally start cutting the first trees.

"You guys are cool? You wanna go in one of the tents? There's some food and water in there... or tea, if anyone want..." Hannah courteously asked as she stepped closer to them.  
"We don't know how much we will be staying here so we didn't bring much."

"Oh. No; it's cool I guess. We're fine. I think we will just stay outside, for now. Until it starts raining or something." Sara replied a bit nervous, showing a light smile.

"It will probably get pretty noisy out here, but we have enough distance from them to be pretty safe from anything other than that." Hannah added.

"Yeah. Thank you for setting all this up; this space and everything." Tegan pointed out politely.  
How painful this might be for environmental activists like Hannah and the others, to see this deforestation process, to witness it first hand like this. Tegan or Sara didn't really give much thought to that until now. It was a sad thing to see for any normal human probably, but undoubtedly alot harder on people that were actually directly fighting to protect this old forests.  
The people from the Ancient Forest Aliance were so considerate.  
Hannah said they were _pretty safe_ , but for some reason Tegan didn't really feel that way. She crossed her arms at her chest, looking kinda concerned as not too far away the loggers were probably setting up the last details before starting to cut in to the first of the many trees there. Then she turned her head and caught Sara looking at her.

"Wanna get closer to the action there? You know we can probably do that." the 31 year-old asked.

"I don't know... I think is best we stay here for a while, don't you think?" she replied a bit uncertain.

"I wanna get closer. Come." Sara then said, affirming her request with a light smile. Then she just started walking towards the working area of the loggers.

"Sara! Wait up!" Tegan said, somewhat surprised by her girlfriend's action. She turned around to look back at Stephen, to kinda see his reaction, to see if he even noticed it. Of course he did. He was just standing close to the cars that they drove here with and looking back at her, letting Tegan know that it was okay just through approving eye contact. It somehow seemed like he had alot of confidence in her responsibility towards Sara. If Tegan looked long enough she knew she can still probably see in his eyes and on his expression some guilt and that he felt bad about all of this. Then she kinda had to catch up to Sara, who hasted her pace.

"Come on, wait!" she voiced through now accentuated breaths as she caught up to her, just in time as they were getting close to reach what seemed the border of the safety zone.  
And just then the echoing and unmistakeable sound of the chainsaw started.  
Just in time.  
The first tree that was being targeted by not just one, but two chainsaw wielding loggers simultaneously was pretty massive, like alot of the trees that were in this place. They were carefully chipping away some kind of a angle at its base. It was all probably really well coordinated and planned.  
The two women watched together with the other workers and the people in charge who were monitoring the activity as it took about 15 minutes before the loggers could eventually move to the next step, that was to pull on the tree with set in place heavy chains in order to sway his fall in the wanted and safe direction. At a given signal they started putting pressure on the chain. It was a nerve wracking moment, but much more for Sara and Tegan than anyone else there. Tegan pulled her girlfriend closer in to her as they watched on. By now even Ken and TJ had joined them, painfully observing the procedures.  
As if almost right on queue, the big tree started to give way, making his inevitable demise known through some spine-shivering cracks that seemed like some kind of loud protest, followed few seconds after by its dramatic collapse through other close by trees' branches and other smaller trees that just got crushed by it, finally hitting the ground with a deafening thump and ending this moment of suspense. Well at least for most of the people there.

The dust didn't even get to settle all the way when the persistent loggers were already at the fallen tree, starting to cut away all its branches and prep it for further handling by the mechanical beasts on the stand-by to have a go at it.

The two surveying bosses of the logging company thought to direct their attention towards the _activists problem_ now, more specifically towards Sara, as they started to make their way to the spot from where she and the others were observing the whole thing. As they got closer they could tell that something was definitely up.

"What's wrong with her?" one of them asked, seeing that the two men from the AFA were gathered around Tegan who was holding on to Sara. They could barely hear anything through the sound of many chainsaws at work near by.

"Don't know; she started not feeling good all of a sudden." Ken answered. Tegan had her arms around Sara and was looking really worried, saying something to her as TJ was attempting to lightly splatter some water on her pale face.

"What; did she have a panic attack or something from seeing that tree fall?" the other man asked. They probably thought she was faking it.

"Tegan..." Sara voiced weakly and distressed. "This is not normal. I feel really cold."

"Hold on baby. We will take you to our camp. We'll have that doctor look at you okay baby!? Stay with me. Please." Tegan was saying soothingly, but she was panicked with concern.


	55. Chapter 55

The two logging company supervisors were lost for words now, obviously not knowing what to make of the situation in front of them.

"Damn. She's actually looking real bad." TJ noted in a calm but serious manner, still by Sara's side, who seemed she could gave up her balance at any point and slip from Tegan's arms.

"Let's get her out of here." Tegan voiced, trying to stay calm as best as she could. Her girlfriend's alert breathing and tired eyes wasn't doing much to help that.  
"Can you walk Sara? I don't think she can walk to the camp."

\-------

Stephen was still oblivious to what had happened. He opted to not go close to the logging site with the others. Instead he just remained at the makeshift camp with Hannah and doctor Sheryl. The two women, especially Hannah were understandably curious to learn more about this indian curse thing from him, but also were considerate and didn't want to seem unreasonable and overwhelm him with questions. Stephen confessed that he was still pretty wary of this vicinity to his daughter, especially in this place, indicator that the last few days didn't really help to dismiss his theory all that much. That's why he chose not to follow Sara and Tegan closer to the place where all the action was happening.  
As they were still talking about that they heard and noticed someone coming towards their tents location through the trees from the direction of the logging site. At closer observation Stephen noticed there were three... no, four people making their way there: Tegan, one of the two bosses from the logging company they spoke with earlier, TJ, and he was carrying someone in his arms... Sara. His heart sunk right there. He just stared uneasy at them getting closer, not even finding the strength to react and get up from his chair like the other two people next to him.

"Oh my god, what happened?" Hannah asked worried, seeing an almost unconscious Sara.

"We don't really know. Something's up with her." TJ replied. Besides concerned, he was understandably pretty out of breath from carrying Sara to the camp through all this rough forest terrain.

"We heard the tree being cut down from here; -did she get injured or anything like that?" Sheryl then questioned.

"No. -We need to get her to one of the tents so you can look at her." Tegan pointed out somewhat urgently. "Please tell this people that she is not faking or on any drugs!" She was barely holding back tears.

"Is she okay? What happened?" Stephen finally spoke, obviously really shaken up. Sara clearly wasn't _ok_.  
"I, -I don't think I ever seen her this bad."

"She'll be fine, hopefully. This people just need to stop cutting down any more trees." Tegan said, switching her sight between Stephen, Sara and the logging company senior representative.

"I left Robert, my partner, to talk to the guys to take care of that, so they won't start cutting any more, for the time being."

"Ken also stayed there to kinda make sure." TJ added as they walked to one of the tents.  
Just after that, Tegan helped him get Sara inside and gently place her down on a stretched sleeping bag. The 31 year-old was still conscious, thankfully.

"Sare, it's all gonna be okay, you hear me? Just hang in there okay?" Tegan was trying to sooth her, her body crouched down next to her while holding one of her hands warmly in both of hers.

"Yeah; I..." the young artist voiced slowly and quietly.

"Hey. How are you feeling baby?" her dad asked as soon as he got in the pretty spacious tent too and joined Tegan by his daughter's side, interrupting her from continuing what she waned to say.

"Mm, -not too good..."

"How -how did this happen?" Stephen could barely talk too.

"Hey, it's okay. This was kinda part of the point we wanted to make, remember?" Sara struggled with every word she spoke, and even with holding her eyes fully opened, but she made an effort to look her father in the eyes while saying that to help with reassuring and making him feel more at ease.

"I did not expect it to be just so sudden and this bad. Has it been like this before?" Stephen asked troubled and concerned.  
"Has it been like this before?" he then directed the question to Tegan, shifting his sight to her. Tegan just shuck her head saddened and she looked like she was on the brink of crying.

"Hey... I'm sorry, but I kinda need some space in here with Sara to examine her. One of you can still stay in with me if you want..." doctor Sheryl informed them looking in through the tent entrance.

"Yeah, sure." Stephen voiced looking back at her, while Tegan got back up.

"No, I'll get out. You can stay." he then told her and lightly put a hand on her shoulder, then he proceeded and exited the tent.

 

"Ok I just need to take her temperature, check her blood pressure, take some blood sample, maybe check her senses; stuff like that." Sheryl said as she grabbed a white plastic box from the back of the tent. Tegan couldn't help to look at what was in it as soon as the woman opened it.

"What's in those vials?"

"Oh... some adrenaline, and some morphine... you know, -just in chase stuff like this would be need."  
"I didn't have much to go on, or anything actually specific from what Ken told me, y'know...?"  
"I understand she's not on any type of medication?" the doctor added while rolling one of Sara's sleves to start checking her pulse.

"No." Tegan voiced, looking down at her girlfriend as Sheryl proceeded to place a digital blood pressure monitor around her wrist.

 

"Hmm, this is definitely not good. Her blood pressure and heart beat rate are really unusually low." Sheryl got even more worried upon looking at what the instrument was showing.  
"I need to take a blood sample and then probably administer some adrenaline and maybe some fluids. But this is very strange indeed, to say the least." Tegan was feeling more and more like the air was getting drained out of her. This seemed really bad. It seemed really bad from the moment Sara started feeling ill, probably not even 30 minutes ago. And it all happened as soon as they cut that tree down.  
Sheryl didn't waste any time in taking out and unwrapping a syringe.

"This is just for a sample so I and maybe other doctors can properly have a look at it in a lab back in Victoria." Then she started steadily taking some blood from the arm she used to take Sara's blood pressure, while Tegan was now holding her other hand soothingly. Sara let out a light whimper just as Sheryl was almost done with filling the small syringe.  
"Oh, it's ok honey." the older woman said reassuringly. And just a couple or so seconds later she pulled the needle out.  
"Okay, done with this... Tegan can you please hold some pressure here on her arm for a bit, while I put this in safe storage and grab another syringe?"

"Ok." Tegan let go of the hand that she was holding so she could shift closer to Sara's other arm.

"Hey; it's gonna be alright babe. Just hang in there." she whispered to her girlfriend, putting on a sympathetic smile for her.

 

"Now; let's administer some adrenaline, since your blood pressure is so low." Sheryl noted.  
"But I'm not really sure about this; and honestly, the way she's looking, I would seriously advise that she should be taken to a hospital."  
Sara wanted to say something, but she couldn't even really speak now. It felt like she was slipping in and out of consciousness. Her head felt really numb.

 

It didn't take much time after the adrenaline injection for doctor Sheryl and Tegan to realize that even this didn't help much. Yeah it did at least stabilize and got Sara's heart beat rate higher but now the 31 year-old's eyes were a telling sign that she was barely conscious.  
Sheryl pointed out that this could maybe be the cause of a unidentified aneurysm, and she insisted Sara should immediately be take to a hospital to have a CT or a MRI scan. Tegan didn't really have any choice than to agree with that, and so did a devastated Stephen. Seeing his daughter in this state undoubtedly made him feel even more guilt.  
They had to call on a paramedics helicopter ambulance in to this remote place to take Sara to a hospital in Vancouver. By this point she was already fully unconscious.

"I will stay here." Tegan told Stephen as the helicopter arrived there some 30 minutes later and was hovering somewhere close to the camp. Even though there was some clearing there it wasn't safe enough for it to land, so they had to airlift Sara up on a stretcher with some well secured safety harness. The paramedics have probably done this a fair share of times before. Then they just had to roll a ladder out for the others to climb in. 

"Why?" Stephen asked her through the somewhat loud helicopter noise near by. Tegan was really fighting hard to hold back tears.  
"Are you sure?" he added. There was no time to chat.

"Yeah. I need to make sure they won't cut any more trees here."

"The guys from AFA can take care of that."

"Look just go with her. She needs you. I will try to get there as fast as I can."

After securing Sara on the stretcher the paramedics got her pretty fast on board the helicopter. Stephen and Sheryl followed.

 

"You didn't have to stay you know." Hannah told Tegan as she was still watching the helicopter getting further and further away.

"I feel so lost. I don't really know what to do." the 29 year-old finally let herself start to cry.

"Hey --It's okay! We just have to pray for the best for her." Hannah said emphatically.  
"You look like you could really use a hug."

"Yeah." Tegan sniffed and managed to show a hint of a smile.  
"Thanks." she voiced as Hannah gave her a wholehearted and pretty long hug.

"Hey... I, -I need to ask you for kind' of a favor." Tegan said after they ended the hug. She was discretely looking around to see if anyone else was close to them. That guy with the grey beard from the logging company was hanging with TJ a bit further away, closer to the SUVs.

"Sure. What is it, and I'll see what I can do."

"Well, I kinda need you and the others to keep an eye on the loggers and talk more with them, so their operation stays halted. And, I'm telling you this because I kinda need to take some rest, maybe for a few hours or so, you know, to kinda gather my thoughts and all, and I will really appreciate if I won't get any distractions, y'know? I'm really not up to deal with this people right now."

"Yeah, I totally get that."  
"All three tents are equipped with sleeping bags. You can stay in which ever one you want, -especially now that 3 people left." Hannah informed.

"Thank you. Just, let me know if some change or anything like that comes up." Tegan noted with a smile, while her tears had somewhat subsided.


	56. Chapter 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. So, this chapter is pretty sad too. But this would probably be no surprise to the 5 people that are still reading this. I thought about adding trigger warnings or stuff like that, but kinda decided against it, sorry... Also I wasn't sure how to structure this, I hope it's not too bad :) Thx for still reading this.

_"Hey, Sara." Sonia greeted a bit hesitant. She managed to finally find her after a bit of searching, and she was happy for that. Then again, she knew she would find her like this._

_"Oh, hey mom." the young woman voiced pretty delighted as she noticed her._  
_"Nice to see you here."_  
_"Things feel kinda strange." she added somewhat warily._  
_"You look great though." her smile returned._

_"Uh, thanks dear." Sonia replied with a light sympathetic smile._

_"I feel like as I've been walking around this woods for alot of time now, though I don't remember any of that. I feel like, tired."_

_"Oh."  
"Maybe you've been up moving around, maybe is just one of those times when it's been lost on you." the woman said._

_"You're saying that happened before?" Sara said, even more confused. "I usually tend to remember what I was doing. Hmm." Her mother just gave her a soft smile.  
"I'm actually really glad you're here." the young woman added, managing to lighten up pretty fast._

_"Me too baby."  
"You know what? Let's take a walk around this place, just talk and like, catch up on stuff. Remember we used to do that, right? And maybe even figure more of this stuff out."_

_"Yeah, walk... that's all I have right now. Or until I find this place that they told me about..."_

_"The trees?"_

_"Yeah. They said I will get it all back when I get there."_

_"You're here to help me find it?" Sonia had a feeling her daughter already knew the answer to that. Her reply took some time to come._

_"I'm here to keep you some company; but I'll do my best to help." she voiced, showing a warm smile._

_While the two of them were walking through the mystical ancient woods Sonia was somewhat reserved in asking Sara any more about the trees, even though she wanted to. She rather preferred to talk more about what Sara could recall about her actual earthly life, how she felt about the stuff in it, recent happenings, things like that._

_"I'm really glad you actually got to see him after all this years." Sonia said, as they were talking about Stephen now._  
_"I'm glad he could be there for you. He was there for me too, all the way." She was getting a bit sad thinking about that, almost teary. Sara understood too well._  
_"You know no matter what, he always wanted to be there for you right?"_

_"Yeah, I know. I wish he actually knew that him moving away and staying far away from me did actually help, you know? I wish I somehow could tell him that. That it would have been worst if he stayed."_

_"I'm still baffled how he had the instincts to believe in that the way he did, without any indication of it from anyone." Sonia added._

_"But like, I know him being here now didn't really influence this outcome. And he couldn't, really." Sara said a bit sad while walking slowly along with her mom._

_"I was kinda curious about that actually. I'm glad you cleared it." the older woman noted. Then she fell pensive for a few seconds._

_"You didn't get to say goodbye to him, or to Tegan." She was not pleased with bringing that up, but she felt like doing it._

_"Tegan..." Sara voiced quietly.  
"I didn't, huh." she added looking down, somewhat lost in thought._

\-----

Tegan was listening in for any faded voices, any footsteps that might be heard near by from inside the tent where she was at. She was nervous. Nothing out there that would actually worry her, just some quiet voices somewhere, at a pretty comfortable distance from what she could guess, probably Hannah talking with Ken, or TJ.  
She was still reflecting on what happened, not just on what she was probably about to do. Those two men in charge here of this logging operation took the thing pretty seriously, even quite surprisingly so for Tegan at least, as at least one of them, -the older guy, who has been around them the longest since they brought Sara to the makeshift camp- was honestly scared about the whole thing. Tegan could see it while they were all there, waiting for the helicopter ambulance. He was maybe close to the same age as Stephen, so Sara could have been like, his daughter. Of course they got some time to talk more with the two of them while they were waiting there as Sara's condition got worst. They did actually cease the logging activity. At least until further news from the hospital about Sara. The men on the ground must have hated this, Tegan thought; first to be delayed with like a couple of days cause of them, to then be halted again just as they were finally getting started. She didn't have time to pity them.  
_"Am I doing this?"_  
_"It's gonna be alright. I have to do this."_  
_"What the hell am I doing?"_  
"Damn, I wish I had some alcohol right about now. Oh... I fuckin' quit that, remember?" Tegan voiced this thought out. She was still looking kinda thorn at the small plastic bottle of sleeping pills she was holding in her hand. The sleeping pills she bought a couple of days ago. She didn't really fathom they would come in handy like this.  
"Ok..." she voiced closing her eyes for a brief moment to gather herself one last time. She opened the cap; put a few of the pills in her hand. She didn't even want to count them, but she had to look at them for some measure. There were enough, probably more.  
_"This should do."_ she was lightly shaking. She might have been shaking even the whole time she saw Sara in that dreadful state and while they had to wait for that damn helicopter. Not cause of the cold. The longer she would ponder on this, potentially the more precious time would be lost for Sara. She took the handful of pills and washed them all down her throat with a serious gulp of water.  
_Shouldn't take long now to fall asleep._ That's what she wanted.  
Tegan placed her body almost all the way inside the sleeping bag that she's been sitting on. Some stray tears started falling down her cheek to where she was resting her head and some almost in to her nose. She turned on the other side restlessly after not even a minute of lying there. She still had her jacket on. That light windbreaker type jacket that she swapped Sara with her own. She pulled her palms more in to the sleeves and took her hands to her nose and mouth. This made her smile a bit, through her tears, because it was reminding her more of Sara.

 

_Sara and Sonia had been walking through the forest for quite a while now. Sara was feeling more and more tired, and now she kinda had the strange feeling they were even going around in circle, and that her mother had something to do with that. Then again, maybe it was just her feeling really disoriented this whole time.  
Sonia knew that time was running out. She knew why Sara was feeling weak and tired, even when they met here. It was because the forest, or the whatever spirits that were dwelling in here and that apparently only Sara could communicate with wanted to end this, so the indian curse could run its course. Sara's fate was pretty much sealed the moment she and Tegan decided to undertake this approach with the loggers. It was an aspect of the curse that no one knew about, just like the one that Stephen unknowingly acted on; that if the people destined to be affected by it -in this case just Sara- were in the close vicinity of any tree that was being cut down and brought to its end the effects of the curse would be much stronger, so strong that they could make the person's life to cease not long after that. The forest spirits knew about it, so forest spirit Sara knew about it too, but there was nothing she could do really; she didn't have any kind of control over the real world self. And even if things didn't happen this way, the amount of trees that logging company would have probably cut down would have easily been enough to make Sara's heart stop beating, literally._

_"Hey, check that strange looking tree out." Sara voiced upon them stumbling on this big, thick trunk tree. It was pretty unusual alright, having some sort of odd cavern formed at its base due mostly to its big spread roots on the uneven terrain. It was pretty hard to not notice, even in this place. Sonia knew what it was, she had already tried to make sure her daughter wouldn't notice it the first time they passed somewhat close to it some time ago. She had the benefit to sense where it was and when they were getting close, so she could distract Sara's attention and change their path away from it before it could come in to obvious view. She didn't really want to do that, if it wasn't for the strange yet familiar thing she also started to sense in this forest, not long before Sara's apparently subconsciously guided steps were about to take them to this tree the first time around._

_"Hm, why do I have the feeling we passed this way before...?" Sara added as they walked closer to inspect that tree._


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decided not to use the faded format here. You guys already know the context where I left off; so I think it's ok.

"I don't think I ever noticed this tree here before."

"Sara, baby, can't you sense that?" Sonia questioned somewhat reluctant, while her daughter had her back turned to her, still busy with her curiosity over the strange tree.

"Huh?" the young woman voiced tiredly and absentmindedly, not even turning all the way around to face her. Is not just that Sara didn't know what she was referring to, but she was also feeling like here mere senses were getting more and more drained.

"Another presence in this woods."  
"Tegan, she's here too." Sonia added calmly. 

"Tegan...?" Sara seemed a bit distraught. Her mother showed a sympathetic smile to reassure her. Then she just started to look up and around them, she kinda seeming the absentminded one now.

"I think she just tried to come say goodbye, I guess." After she said that her gaze fell back on her daughter.

"How...? I... don't want her here." Sara spoke slowly and sad.

"You must appreciate her commitment and effort to get here... that's real love right there."  
Sara's head was tilted down now, sight directed towards the ground and the big roots sprawled around; like she almost tried to ignore what Sonia just said.

"I think this is the place; I think this is the place they wanted me to find."  
Sara directed her attention back on the tree next to her, reaching with her hands to curiously touch it again, while seemingly wanting to inspect every single angle of it.  
"Yeah, there's definitely some energy about this tree."  
Sonia knew all too well as she was just watching with bitter-sweet eyes.

_______

Tegan was now some serious distance deep in to the ancient woods from the by now apparently familiar starting place on the small and humid beach. It was definitely a pattern there. And she was kinda scared just too see she actually made it in here again, and she definitely was even more scared by getting in the mystical and imposing woods, but she knew why she was here, to try to find Sara, and that pushed her forward.  
-Not long before she got among the trees she was almost overwhelmed by anxiety. It was crippling her; tears started falling, and even her feet felt like they didn't want to move. Thinking about all of it, thinking about Sara; having flashbacks to her rehab days... about places she used to go alone; Lincoln Park. A impulse. Something else happened a short time after also. Some kind of a sign maybe. A small eagle flying around near by, that caught her attention. He was somehow guiding her, and Tegan realized that, so she started following him.-  
So now here she was, strong on her feet again, and calling out for Sara.  
The mysterious eagle was flying agilely through the trees, never venturing too far or out of sight from Tegan, patiently stationing on some branch for her to catch up, then he would set out again. It was no certainty that there was anything good, but it was all Tegan had right now.

_______

"I can barely feel my legs." Sara pointed out in a hazy manner.  
"Oh, and apparently I can see through you now." she added after she took a good look at her mother. "You're all faded out."

"Yeah. My time here is running out, because yours is." Sonia said, showing a light smile. Before Sara had a chance to add something she continued: "I never really liked this place much anyway."

"Hmm." the young woman voiced lightly reflective.

"I, I guess I should go inside there hm." she noted as she turned her sight back on the big tree. Sonia didn't say anything to that. By this point she felt like she's done everything she could, for Tegan's sake. She was actually amazed by Tegan being here now in the first place, even if she didn't seem to reach them.

"Sara!" Oh, just in time, that sweet familiar voice; still felt like a light stab in to Sonia's heart.

"Sara! Thank god!" Tegan frantically rushed over to them.  
"And you're here..." she acknowledged Sonia as she walked closer to her, but not for long, as her attention turned towards the tree, the tree that the guiding eagle rested on one of its high branches, the tree where Sara was standing really close to, looking quite frail.

"Hey Tegan." Sonia greeted subtly. 

"Tegan what are you doing here?" her daughter voiced rather uneasy.  
"You shouldn't be here."

"Sara..." Sonia interjected.  
"Okay, don't mind me; I'll just let you guys talk." she then added.

"I don't want to talk."  
"Tegan, just..." she let out a deep tired sigh.

"No, listen! I can't believe I found you." Tegan spoke through strong breaths as she got close to just a couple of inches from her.  
"I don't know what happened back there, but I don't want to let you go."  
"Look at me. I don't want to let you go Sara!" she now gently placed her shaking hands on her girlfriend's sides of the jaw to lift her head so that she could face her, almost succumbing to the strong impulse to kiss her right then. Her tears were already starting to stain her eyes.

"Tegan, I can't..."

"Was it because of me? Was it me persuading you to go with me to that logging location that caused this to happen?" The younger woman moved her hands to hold Sara's own now, looking down at them while she felt the icy coldness in them.

"Tegan stop."

"Just tell me." her soft voice almost cracked. She couldn't live with herself if she was left not knowing.

"It was inevitable, either way."  
"Look, I don't expect you to understand this, but what I m here, I don't have any kind of say or control over the living world Sara. I am still her, but I'm more like a part of her, and she's like a part of me. She doesn't see what I see or feel what I feel while I'm in here, but I can tell you that she knew this was kinda inevitable, for a few years now. She just lived with it as best she could."

"While you're in here? Why _are_ you in here; what even is this place?" Tegan emphasized.

"I can't really tell you; please understand that. But this place was kinda like my home, my sanctuary. I got familiar with this and with it way before I met you. Here I was free from any strains of society, and from the pain."  
"I know I don't get to be here too much though, mostly when I'm asleep, -but it happens some other times too."  
Tegan was almost lost for words.  
"And I kinda have a fulfillment to keep towards this place, I had it even before I was born."

"You mean the curse. You are serving that stupid family curse by being here all those times; it wants you to be here. I don't know for what."

"It's to give back to the forest somehow, for the lost it suffered at the hands of people who didn't respect it nowhere close like it should be, -like the tribes who lived in this area did."

"But Sara this was not your choice, whatever is behind this didn't give you a choice!"

"Stop!"  
"I'm more than at peace to do what needs to be done. I'm _here_ because they need me. You, or the living world Sara couldn't see what I've seen."  
Tegan was looking at her like she was nonsesical.  
"I knew you wouldn't understand, that's why I was telling you not to come here anymore; that's why I didn't want a serious relationship in the first place." Even if she was trying her best to deliver her point pretty clear to Tegan she was looking really weak and her girlfriend noticed that the whole time they were talking. She looked like she was just ready to collapse. It was almost like deja vu.

"So you wish you were never with me?"  
Sara felt immediatly pained and bothered by that question, and she showed it by fixating her sad gaze in to Tegan's eyes that were almost as sad.

"No; how can you say that? I'm happy you were with me. I love you, you know that." she voiced quietly. She was really on the brink of crying.  
"But I guess this is goodbye Tegan. I have to go now."

"Go?" the younger woman asked somewhat lost, feeling like a emotional wreck. She then took a fast look behind to find Sonia, almost as if she wanted to ask for some help and answers, but her ghostly figure was no longer there.  
"Sara... No! I won't let you."  
The 31 year-old was already inside the hollow of the big tree.  
"No, get up!" There was even room for Tegan to get in next to her, and she did just that as she saw Sara rest down inside that small sheltered space.

"Tegan, please, there's nothing to be done." Sara pleaded as she kept her eyes barely opened.  
"I need to just rest here."

"Wanna rest here with me?" she asked in an almost-whisper.  
Tegan just felt devastated. That familiar feeling of helplessness. But now she was losing Sara for good, and she felt torn between having her pass away in her arms or just running away as far as she could until she would wake up from this.  
"Please?" Sara's soft plead sounded as if she thought Tegan was mad at her.

"No, -this is not the real you. You say this forest or whatever it is needs you, but what about me? _I_ need you, Sara. Holiday needs you."  
Sara barely lifted her sad gaze to look up at her girlfriend.

"You'll take good care of her." After saying that Sara laid her body even more on the cold humid ground at the base of the hollow, finding just the right spot to rest her head on her right arm on a piece of root that was sticking out.  
"I feel really tired."  
Tegan knelt down besides her, tears finally starting to flow out and down her cold cheeks.  
"Sare." She placed her right hand on her resting girlfriend's shoulder. Sara's left hand found her other hand on the ground amongst the decaying leaves. Tegan noticed how unusually warm her touch felt now, it was pulsating with heat. She placed her other had on top of it, to make sure it wasn't just her numbness that was playing tricks on her. Sara even had a meek, blissful smile on her lips.  
Tegan then leaned closer to her face, hovering kinda defeated just a couple of inches from her neck, the heat radiating being felt clearly from there also. It was so strange, but so serene. She softly kissed her jaw, then her temple. She could tell Sara's light smile grew a bit bigger.

"Sara, I'm sorry."  
Her right hand moved to and made its way behind Sara's knees. This startled the other girl a bit, making her lift her head from her resting place.

"Tegan, what are you doing?"

"It's okay." the younger woman wasted no time in draping her other arm under her body, pulling it up. Sara was feeling too weak to put on much resistance, even if she tried.

"No, Tegan!..." Her girlfriend managed to somehow lift her whole body up in her arms, backing them out of the hollow in the tree.  
"Put me back down, Tegan!" she cried weakly.

"I'm so sorry baby." Tegan was doing the opposite, starting to walk away from the tree.

"No! No, you're ruining it!" Sara tried to struggle off her hold, to push and grab at her shoulder, but it was all too light, she barely shook in her arms, that's how drained she was.  
"Mom, tell her!" But Sonia was gone. "Tell her."


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, back to the text format again. For context and' all. Let me know if there's any confusion, or anything, here or on my tumblr.

_After threading through the forest with Sara in her arms for what felt like a short time Tegan felt the need and decided to stop to take a break. This whole mysterious forest, this whole place that felt more and more adverse to Tegan, especially now, was not real, but Sara's weight in her arms did feel pretty damn real, thought a bit unusually light, and though she wasn't really the real Sara either. Tegan had to tell herself that._

_"Where are you taking me?" the almost lifeless woman asked from the ground, back propped against the tree by the side of which Tegan placed her, while she was catching her breath._

_"You'll see, Sare. Don't worry okay?" Besides possible exhaustion and Sara, Tegan felt like she also had to try hard to fight back her tears._

_"Tegan, I'm already dead, look at me. Just take me back, please." -The younger woman _was_ looking at her, but refused to look nowhere near her tired eyes.  
"You can't save me."_

_After what seemed not even a minute Tegan picked her girlfriend back in her arms and continued trudging along with her.  
"You are just wasting me..." Sara cried out quietly in protest. That really struck Tegan pretty hard, but she pushed onward._

_"If you say you're already dead, why do I still feel you heavy in my arms, hum?" Tegan took another strong breath as she was walking. "As long as I can feel you here you're not gone." she added sternly.  
And on that same note, Tegan tried to concentrate the very best she could on the task at hand, trying to zone out as much of the exhaustion as she could possibly manage, considering this was just some kinda of metaphysical landscape and not physical reality._

_After not much distance she had to take another break nevertheless, before she managed to finally reach the place she wanted, the shoreline. She placed Sara down for the 3rd time, again close to a marginal tree, to take another, final break and to check on her, since she seemed like she was barely there. Tegan took a final look around them at the eerie forest. No ghostly voices attacking her with warnings this time as she probably might have been expecting; it was all quiet, except for the sound of the waves near by silently splashing on to the beach and a few wondering seagulls. She didn't want to look too much back though. She was still wondering if she was thinking wrong. For a moment she remembered that eagle that guided her to Sara and she wondered what it was or where it was now. It seemed she didn't need him to make her way back. She looked down at Sara; she seemed like she didn't have any more fight left in her; almost lifeless, like this place. Tegan carefully picked her up in her arms, for what might possibly be the last time. She made her way on the hard sand and to the water's edge._

_"Okay, -This is going to be ok." she voiced warily to herself and to her girlfriend, though more than ever, she was feeling pretty scared. She had no kind of certainty for what will come out of what she was about to do. She couldn't afford to process it much, or why it somehow was the thing that made some type of sense.  
"Please don't hate me. And know that I love you so much!"_

_"Tegan why are you doing this!?" Sara questioned tiredly as her girlfriend was walking them in to the water._

_"It's okay, -just hold on to me. Nothing to lose, right?" the 29 year-old found the strength to show a smile through her tears._

_"No, don't! You can't..."_  
_"Tegan, Tee please go back." Sara's tears were mixing with the few drops of salt water from the splatter that were reaching her face. Her cries couldn't sway Tegan, if anything probably made her hold on even tighter as she pushed ahead against the small waves in to deeper water. When she got to where the cold water was almost up to her chest Tegan finally let go, only to pull herself and Sara under. Her panicked girlfriend was trying to push herself up and have her head above the surface, but Tegan fought her back every time with the little strength that she had left, dragging her in to even deeper water. She kept her sight on her almost all the way, even through the greish, misty veil that surrounded them. She had to make sure her task would reach its completion even if she had to use the last ounces of determination, strength and indeed breath left in her._  
_She couldn't tell how deep the water was now, but it was probably higher than her head. Sara had stopped struggling, she could tell that. Just deafening silence. She pushed her head down closer to hers as she was still holding on to her lifeless body underwater, letting the coldness engulf her._

\-----

 

"Mr. Clement. I don't think we have to worry about that surgery, for now at least. Your daughter is awake and conscious." the doctor who was on call for Sara happily informed a lost and crumbling Stephen. That immediately seemed to breathe life back in to him, as he looked up at the man from his chair in the hallway where he had tormentingly sat for probably more than one hour now. He was almost too numb, or maybe too shocked, to even get up, so he hesitated a bit. His eyes started to tear up.  
"You can go see her now." doctor Ghomeshi noted with a light sympathetic smile.

"Thank you." it was all that Stephen could voice. The doctor joined him to Sara's room.

 

"Hey dad." the 31 year-old voiced feebly from her bed as soon as they walked in. Her left arm was connected to a IV tube and she had a pulse oximeter connected to one of her fingers. 

"Hey." her father greeted back quietly and emphatically.  
"How, how are you feeling?" he added rather shaky as he got closer to the bed.

"Not too bad; alot better than before."

"Good... good." Stephen noted as he somewhat warily pulled the chair that was near by closer to the bed and next to Sara.

"We need to run more tests on her now that she's awake, CAT scans mainly; but that can wait for now." the doc pointed out, showing a formal smile.  
"Your father can kinda fill you in on more of the details, until we will get to talk again." he added. "But I must say, I think you are really lucky, and your case is kind of a odd mystery."  
"Okay, take care, -I must go attend to my other patients. And I'll see you in a couple of hours probably, unless any new developments come up until then."

"Thank you." Sara voiced with a light smile.

"Try to get some rest okay? Mr. Clement..." he gave a formal nod to Stephen then exited the room.

 

"I was so fucking scared. I thought I lost you too."

"I'm sorry."

"No, baby... You don't have anything to apologize for! Okay? Don't say that." Stephen unhesitatingly took Sara's right hand, holding her small palm with his left while the other was placed on top, gently soothing her soft pale skin. He was just about teary eyed again. And Sara wasn't far from that either.

"The nurse and the doctor didn't tell me much; just that I was in some sort of coma since I got here apparently less than two hours ago." Stephen lightly tightened his hold on her hand.  
"And something about a possible brain aneurysm..."

"Yeah, that." her father voiced somewhat reluctantly, continuing to run his fingers on hers.  
"Doctor Sheryl kinda explained to them everything that happened. She's still around here somewhere."

"Where's Tegan?"

"She... she's not here. She decided to stay behind at the camp with the others; probably to make sure the loggers will cease any cutting of trees." her dad explained.

"Oh..." Sara noted a bit surprised.  
"Well, they likely did cease that, for now."

"They did." Stephen lightly nodded.

"So it _kinda_ worked, right?"

"Sara, baby; we were all so scared about what was happening to you. It happened all so sudden. Please don't tell me that was normal." Stephen pointed out in a sad tone.

"No; -no, I did not expect that. I'm pretty sure that was probably the worst one yet."  
"And just from one tree apparently. I, I honestly felt like that was it, -like I was going to die." Her father almost reflexively lifted her hand and leaned in to place a couple of gentle kisses on her knuckles, holding back tears.  
"And now they say that might be something wrong with my brain...?"

"Oh sweetheart... I know. He even contacted one of the other doctors that saw you when you were younger, that guy, doctor Thompson; he's not a resident here anymore. I guess they can discuss stuff, about your medical past; they're just trying to find some answers."

"Yeah. We've been through this before. I didn't really expect I would end up in a hospital again." Sara said quietly, looking kinda distant towards the window.

"Yeah; but this time they think they might actually be on to something."

"I want to talk to Tegan."

"Sure."

They got Sara's phone and they tried to reach Tegan, but apparently she had no signal, or her phone was closed. Was rather strange... So they thought to try calling Ken instead.

"Oh. Hannah said she is just resting. Pretty strange that she didn't just answer though, huh." Ken said after talking to them, clearly glad to hear Sara was ok. "I'll just give her the good news and tell her to call you guys back."

No one had checked on Tegan since she got in that tent like two hours ago or more. When Ken opened the tent he saw her lying inside a sleeping bag, looking like she was deep asleep. Well, that was a bit odd, he thought. He went closer, kneeling next to her and attempted to wake her up gently. It didn't take long to notice the small plastic bottle of sleeping pills close by. Upon closer inspection he saw that it was almost empty.


End file.
